APD: Whoa… people actually liked it! w00t! I feel loved! Here's to my reviewers!

Narutosgirl- Wow, ten years and I haven't updated… hehe

alittlekorean- Awww, thanks!

SeaLover456- thank you so much! .

L33Tbunny- I'm sorry, but Tohru is just… urgh… I just don't like her. I'll try to refrain from that in the future, though. Yes, Yuki and Kyo WOULD kill him! MOOHAHA!

Fullmetal-Is-Mine- No, Fullmetal is mine! Hmm… how does one go about pronouncing "Alwsome"?

Full Metal Vampire- Sweet name! Glad it made you laugh! )

APD: I love you guys! . Oh, yeah, in case you couldn't tell, my dividers weren't working, so the only way to tell the difference as of now will be that the story is in paragraph form and this stuff isn't.

Disclaimer: If I were to say that I owned Fullmetal Alchemist and/or Fruits Basket, I would by lying to you. 'Nuff said.

'Goddamn tools!' Ed cursed in his head. He knew better than to say something like that out loud in front of Winry. "Winry, would you PLEASE stop, I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Concentrate on what?" Riza asked.

"Was I talking to you?"

"Watch what you say, I have a gun."

"What else is new?"

Riza reached for her gun, only to find that it wasn't there. "What the… WHERE IS MY GUN!" She was on the verge of tears. She had never gone without her gun before that she could remember. She felt so helpless and vulnerable. "Why me?"

"Because the author doesn't want you to hurt Ed!"

"How do you know that, Al?" Maes asked.

"I don't know." The younger Elric replied honestly. "I just do."

"Well, she's the higher power here right? So…" Riza looked up at the sky. "CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY GUN BACK? I WASN'T REALLY GOING TO SHOOT HIM, I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM A WARNING!"

"You mean you weren't going to shoot anyone?" Roy asked mockingly. "Can I get that in writing?"

"No I just said that I wasn't going to shoot Fullmetal."

"EEP!"

Magically and without reason, Riza's gun was magically in its original place. "THANK YOU!" She shouted at the sky. "Now I can-" She aimed the gun at a point just next to a very alarmed Roy's head. She pulled the trigger… "Hey!"

Roy let out a sigh of relief. "It's not loaded! Thank you, oh great authoress!"

"And that means," Tears of Joy were forming in Shigure's eyes, "There won't be any bullet holes in my house!"

"But… but…" Riza pointed her gun at Al and pulled the trigger. Nothing. Maes. Nothing. Shigure. Nothing. Kyo. Nothing. Winry. Nothing. Yuki.

BANG!

The bullet went whizzing past his arm.

"Damn. You missed." Kyo observed.

"Pity it didn't hit you, you stupid cat."

"That's it! You're asking for it!" He rushed at Yuki.

I suck at writing fight scenes, so I'll just skip it and tell you the outcome!

Yuki is laying face down in the dirt and Kyo is striking a victorious pose. w00t.

"YEAH! I FINALLY BEAT THAT DAMN RAT! I WON'T BE LOCKED UP FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE BY THAT BASTARD AKITO! WHOOOOOOOOOO!"

Needless to say, this earned him some rather awkward looks.

"Locked up?" Ed wondered.

"Kyo, does this mean…" Tohru pondered the situation, "That the cat will be included in the zodiac?"

Kyo's eyes widened in excitement. "Yeah! I'm finally a true member of the Sohma family! And that damn rat's finally out of my way!"

"Ah! Yuki!" Tohru kneeled down next to the rat. "Are you alright?"

"I'll live." Yuki told the concerned girl next to him. "But I'll never hear the end of it from that stupid cat. Or from…" He trailed off, his fear showing in his eyes.

"Cat?"

"Rat?"

"Zodiac?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Shigure said casually. "Just a family joke, is all."

"It doesn't seem like a joke to me." Al pointed out, looking at the situation Yuki was currently in.

"I know what'll cheer these guys up!" Winry said. She went up to Yuki and-

Poof!

APD: Yes, I know, my chapters are short and the suck beyond belief. Live with it. And while you're doing that, review!