Poring
ONE
Severus was worried: very, very worried. School had been in session for three months and Harry had yet to say a word to anyone. He was eligible for the Quidditch team again this year, now that he wasn't ill any longer, but he had declined. He didn't say 'No' he simply shook his head and walked away. Draco had continued the D.D.L. alone when Harry had simply stared at him after the topic came up. Harry spent all of his time poring over books.
He woke early in the morning and sat in his common room, doing homework weeks ahead of time. After he finished with that, he would open library books and take extensive notes on all sorts of subjects, including things he was not studying in school. He spent hours poring over books, ignoring the world around him, devoting all of his attention the art of learning. He was becoming a right Hermione Granger.
Harry was currently sitting in front of Severus' fire, scribbling notes on some subject or another. Severus watched him quietly, wondering what it would take for Harry to heal. "Harry," he said softly.
Harry turned to look at him curiously, quill still poised over parchment.
"Why don't you take a break?" Severus asked. "Go outside for a bit. You haven't been outside of the castle for weeks. Don't you want to see the snow?"
Harry shook his head a bit and then went back to his note taking.
"I'm serious, Harry," Severus pressed. "You spend entirely too much time reading and taking notes. I'm worried about you. Go outside and take a break."
Harry turned again and gave Severus a look, which said quite clearly, "I've no wish to go outside."
"If you don't take a break soon, I'll take away your unlimited pass to the Restricted Section. I never would have given it to you if I had known that you would disappear into the pages of books."
Harry heaved a very put upon sigh and stood, placing his quill carefully on a spare piece of parchment. He looked Severus in the eyes, tipped his head to the left and gave one sharp nod before heading to the door. After it had closed, Severus sighed, covering his face with his hands and rubbing his temples.
"Well done," Draco said behind him, coming out of his rooms. "You got him to go outside." He sat in the armchair to Severus' left.
"I shouldn't have to threaten him to get him outside," Severus muttered, not bothering to look at Draco. "I've spent two years healing his body. I haven't the strength to heal his spirit."
"I'm not so certain that it's broken," Draco replied calmly. This caused Severus to stare at the blonde incredulously.
"Explain," he said.
"Haven't you noticed the things he studies?" Draco asked. "He's trying to find a way to win this war."
"I can't imagine why that would be," Severus snipped in irritation. "With his offensive spells practically useless, he's going to need a miracle to destroy the Dark Lord."
"His offensive magic still works, he just needs to conserve his energy before using it."
"So tell me, Draco, just how he's supposed to conserve energy in the middle of a heated battle."
Draco shrugged. "How should I know?" he asked. "Perhaps that's what he's trying to find in all of his books."
"If he keeps up, he's going to know more magic than Dumbledore," Severus replied. "That is a frightening thought."
Draco snickered lightly, standing up from the chair. "You always said that he had potential," he said, stretching in a very cat like manner. "Perhaps he's simply trying to prove you right."
"Yes, and perhaps you're going to turn into a charming person one day," Severus groused.
"Hey!" Draco objected, pointing his finger at Severus. "I'll have you know that I'm very charming."
Severus snorted.
"Hermione thinks I'm charming," Draco said.
"Yes," Severus replied. "And she also thinks that Hogwarts, a History is an interesting book. Forgive me if I have little faith in her opinions."
Draco laughed openly at that. "Point well taken, Professor," he said.
TWO
Harry walked slowly, thinking that perhaps Severus was right; he did miss the snow. He listened as it crunched under his feet, making him smile slightly.
"Hi, Harry," Hermione said from his right.
Harry turned to her, still smiling about the snow.
"How are you?" she asked. "I haven't seen you out in a while."
Harry shrugged in an 'I'm okay' sort of way.
"May I walk with you?"
Harry nodded a bit to let her know it was all right. They continued to walk slowly, heading for the lake, which had yet to begin freezing over.
"Draco is doing a wonderful job with Dumbledore's Defense League," Hermione informed him. "He does so seem to enjoy teaching, or perhaps it's that he's helping people. He doesn't like to talk about it, so I try not to bring it up. It is very different without you there. Won't you reconsider?"
Harry shook his head a little. He simply didn't have the time to waste it on the D.D.L. In addition, in order to teach the students, he would have to speak to the students. He just didn't want to speak to anyone. He knew that Severus worried about his silence, but speaking took more energy than he was willing to use without good reason.
"What do you do all day when I don't see you?" Hermione asked then. "Every time I do see you, you're reading something."
Harry shrugged. He knew what Hermione was trying to do. She was trying to ask open-ended questions so he would have to answer with words. Dear, beautiful Hermione, he thought fondly. Always thinking on your feet. I bet you stay up nights, trying to think of ways to draw me out.
"Draco has asked for my hand," Hermione said softly.
Harry stopped walking and turned to stare at her. Draco had asked Hermione to marry him? When did that happen?
"I don't know what to say to him," Hermione went on, looking quite despondent. "My mother is never going to agree to this."
"Why?" Harry asked.
Hermione jumped at hearing his voice. "What?" she asked, staring at him.
"Why would your mother object?" Harry asked again. His voice sounded scratchy and worn, as though he had spent the whole of yesterday screaming at the top of his voice.
"Oh," Hermione said, looking slightly panicked. "I, er, you know, I've complained to her for years about how he used to treat all of us. She won't understand."
Harry watched her closely, thinking that perhaps she was lying to him. It occurred to him then that Hermione never talked about her parents. Sometimes she would mention that they'd gone on vacation somewhere or another, but she never said anything about her parents. He considered her a moment longer before nodding his understanding of her explanation. He didn't believe her explanation, but he did understand it. She seemed to release her breath, raising Harry's suspicions over her answer.
"So you haven't given him an answer," he said.
"Well, no, not yet," she replied. "I told him to give me time to think it over."
"Do you love him?"
Hermione stared again. "Pardon?"
"Do you love him?"
"I… yes," she stammered. "Very much so."
"Then marry him, parents be damned."
"It's not that simple."
"It's your life to lead, not theirs. If you don't marry him, you'll spend the rest of you life regretting it, and for what. So that your parents won't wonder what got into you? Is that really a good price to pay for your happiness?"
Hermione frowned as they continued their slow trek around the lake. She seemed to be thinking hard. Harry couldn't believe that as intelligent as she was, this was something she had to think about. After a few minutes she said, "You're right. I will marry him. Mother can go straight to Hell if she doesn't like it."
Harry's eyebrow went up on its own accord at Hermione's language. He said nothing, though he wondered whether Hermione's life was as good as she liked to make people believe. Did Draco know what caused Hermione's discomfort? Harry doubted it.
"Shall we go inside?" Hermione asked after a few moments of silence. "It's freezing out here."
Harry watched her shiver for a moment before nodding his agreement. They walked into the school in silence.
"I think I'll go with you down to Professor Snape's rooms," Hermione said as they reached the stairs. "I want to give Draco my answer."
Harry nodded that it was all right and escorted Hermione down the stairs. As they entered the room, Harry proceeded to his spot on the sofa and continued his studies. He noticed Severus' raised eyebrow as Hermione went straight to Draco's room. After a few moments, Draco and Hermione came back into the sitting room looking exultant.
"We're getting married!" Draco exclaimed happily, lifting Hermione by her waist and spinning her in a large circle.
Hermione squealed in a most unladylike manner as her legs swung in an arch before touching down again.
Harry smiled softly at the happy couple before returning to his work. As he continued with his copious notes, he felt a sadness in the room that made him turn back around. He found Severus looking at him with a far away look, sadness permeating his entire countenance. He wondered what could be causing Severus to look so dejected, so he resolved to find out later on when they were alone.
"We're going to get dinner," Draco said happily. "You coming, Harry?"
Harry smiled at his friend, but shook his head.
"You're loss," Draco replied, before lifting Hermione into his arms and bounding out the door, Hermione demanding to be let down all the way.
Severus too watched them go, still looking very sad. As he turned back to his desk, he caught Harry watching him and attempted to look unconcerned. As Harry watched him, he remembered that day so long ago that changed their lives forever. He didn't remember everything, but he could recall sucking the Dark Magic of Severus' Mark out of his lover's body, healing him forever of his curse.
He's been free of his burdens of that Mark since I healed… Harry's thoughts trailed off as a new thought occurred to him, his eyes going wide with realization and renewed hope.
THREE
Severus turned to watch Harry when his young lover closed the book he had open with a snap and started going through his books frantically. He searched all of the books he had scattered around the table before rising and moving on to his common room.
Curiously, Severus followed him, finding Harry searching his overfull bookcase urgently. Harry moved on from there into his bedroom.
Severus stood in the door for a moment before asking, "What are you looking for?"
"I need medical books," Harry replied as he dug through his trunk. Severus moved to the bookcase and searched the titles, pulling out all the medical books he found.
"Why do you need medical books?" Severus asked as he handed the books to Harry.
"It was so simple," Harry murmured distractedly. "I don't understand why I didn't see it before." He was looking through the book on the top of the pile as he walked back to the sitting room, talking more to himself than to Severus. "He's infected, that what it is. I always thought I had to kill him. How could I have been so stupid?"
"What are you talking about?" Severus asked, perplexed.
"Don't you see?" Harry asked excitedly. "I can't believe I overlooked it!" He sat down on the couch, opened his book and began reading, after which Severus could gain no more information from him, no matter how he pestered. Harry seemed to have blocked him out as he became absorbed in his note taking.
FOUR
Harry's studying habits changed dramatically over the next several weeks. He went to the library every few days and took out dozens of books on medicinal magic. When he got them back to his room, he'd flip through them, looking for something specific (though Severus couldn't begin to imagine what) and then skim the chapters until he found what he was looking for, at which time he would copy entire paragraphs from the book.
Severus' favorite times became when Harry would sit on his sofa studying. At these times, Harry would go into long excited explanations of what he was reading, gesticulating energetically at one medical spell or another. Severus didn't understand most of what Harry told him, but he listened attentively to Harry's voice, noting the rises and falls as Harry explained the complexities of medical magic. Severus did everything in his power to memorize the sound of Harry's comforting tenor, unsure whether he would ever hear it again.
One night, one month before the end of the school year, Harry closed his last book with a sigh and sat back, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Severus was sitting next to him on the sofa, watching him with concerned eyes.
"Are you all right?" he asked gently, wanting desperately to touch Harry's hand.
Harry nodded, turning to look at Severus with a gentle smile on his face. "I can do it," he whispered.
"What?" Severus asked.
"I can win," Harry replied. "I never thought I'd find a way, but I have. I can do it."
"Win what?" Severus asked, feeling more confused than ever.
Harry didn't answer him, though. He simply watched Severus, a look of longing and sadness in his eyes. Severus could feel the overwhelming feelings Harry was experiencing, though he still didn't understand how.
"What's wrong?" he asked, taking Harry's hand in his before he had a chance to think about it. Harry looked down at their joined hands, but he didn't pull his away. Severus could feel the familiar magic traveling between them, warm and comforting, assuring him that Harry was still his, still healthy (if struggling) and that he wouldn't lose him any time soon.
Harry pulled his hand away causing Severus to close his eyes, unable to completely hide his disappointment at the loss of contact. Much to his surprise, he felt a tentative hand caressing his cheek gently. His eyes flew open to find Harry watching him closely as his fingers tickled over Severus' jaw.
"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, emotional pain coloring his voice. "So very sorry."
Severus covered Harry's hand with his own, stroking the back softly with his thumb. "Don't do that, Harry," he said. "None of this was your fault. If anything, I should be apologizing to you."
Harry smiled again as a lone tear slipped down his cheek. "Then we are even," he murmured.
Severus felt a wave of sadness envelope him at Harry's words. He swallowed thickly. "Yes, we are even," he agreed. Later, Severus wasn't sure how it happened, but as they watched each other on the sofa, they both leaned in until they were kissing. Harry pressed himself closer to Severus' body, his hand moving around the older man's head to caress his neck and pulled him closer. Taking Harry's lead, Severus wrapped his arms around the teen and held him close, feeling at home once again after nearly a year of physical separation.
As they got closer, the magic singing within both of them, drawing them together, a woman entered and exclaimed, "Ay Dios mio!"
They sprang apart and Severus turned to find María staring at them with her wand drawn and aimed at him. "You get away from him!" she yelled.
Severus stood slowly and backed away from Harry, keeping a wary eye on María's wand.
"Harry, nene, come here," María said, beckoning Harry with her free hand. "I won't let him hurt you anymore." Harry stayed where he was, pleading with her with his eyes. "Vamanos," María said, beckoning him again.
Harry stood as slow as Severus had before him and moved between María's wand and Severus.
"Get out of the way, Harry," María said gently. "I'll stun him and take him to the headmaster."
Harry very slowly shook his head from side to side, remaining where he was stubbornly.
"Harry, just…" Severus started, but Harry gave a look of such intensity that he fell immediately silent.
Just as María opened her mouth to persuade Harry (in her gentlest and most condescending voice, no doubt) Draco walked in, freezing on the spot when he saw the drama taking place in Severus' sitting room.
"What's going on?" he asked, looking between María and Harry nervously.
"Señor Snape has been molesting Harry," María explained angrily. "Harry, come away from there. I won't let him hurt you."
"Bloody Hell," Draco murmured, looking suddenly angry.
Harry, for his part, released all of the shields surrounding his mind, bombarding Draco and María with memories from his past. Severus, who wanted to know what was going on and so began Ligilimizing Harry, witnessed again all of the pain and suffering Harry had gone through when first he was placed in Severus' care. It was nearly excruciating to witness it in Harry's point of view, so he stopped just as Harry reached the memory of their first time together.
María began sobbing under the onslaught of Harry's memories, which weren't only being released, but forced upon her by Harry's formidable will. Draco and María both were holding their heads as the memories and emotions kept pouring into them relentlessly until María yelled, "Stop!"
No sooner had the word left her mouth did she and Draco drop to their knees, still holding their heads, María still sobbing. For a long time, María's cries were the only sound in the room as its occupants adjusted to the shock of Harry's very soul revealed.
Harry moved forward and kneeled before María, still a good meter away, and waited for her to look up. When she did, he stared at her intently, pleading silently for his lover's safety.
"It is still wrong, nene," she murmured. "I cannot allow it. He is using you."
Harry shook his head again, just as slowly as the first time, placing himself once more between María and Severus.
"I cannot allow this," María said resolutely. "I will summon the headmaster. He will put a stop to this." With that, María rushed out the door.
"Bloody fools!" Draco exclaimed, moving quickly to follow her. "How many times have I told you to be discreet?" He slammed the door hard as he left the room.
Harry turned and looked at Severus sadly, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. Severus pulled Harry close to him, and held him tightly as his shoulders shook with sobs.
FIVE
"María, stop!" Draco yelled as he caught up to the angry Puerto Rican. "Don't do this."
She turned to face him, a look of incredulity adorning her face. "What!" she exclaimed. "Are you loco?"
"No, just listen to me!" Draco pleaded, holding her arm to prevent her from continuing on her way to Dumbledore's office. He looked around for a door and pulled her into an empty classroom down the hall. "You can't turn him in."
"Why not?" María asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "You think it's fine that he's molesting your classmate?"
"He's not molesting anyone," Draco snapped. "Don't you understand that they love each other? Take Severus away and Harry won't have anything left to fight for."
"He has good friends," María said. "You will help him through it."
"No!" Draco exclaimed. "You don't get it, do you? We cannot give him what he needs! He needs to feel loved. He needs to know that he's worthy of that kind of feeling from someone! The only other person he ever cared for betrayed him to the Dark Lord! Don't you understand that Professor Snape is the only person Harry will ever trust to be that close to him? If you get Snape locked up, Harry will never recover and it will have been entirely your fault!"
"But –"
"But nothing! Haven't you ever loved someone you weren't supposed to?"
María thought for a moment before slowly nodding her head.
"Don't you remember what it felt like to hide it from everyone? Don't you remember how much it hurt? How could you do that to them? Professor Snape is the only person who will ever understand Harry because he was there for most of it."
"Harry is only a boy, Draco," María pleaded. "Like you. Severus is a grown man taking advantage of a boy's pain. Can you not see what he is doing?"
"I only see two people who need each other," Draco replied coldly. "If you go to Dumbledore and get Professor Snape thrown in Azkaban for child molestation I will never forgive you."
"I don't need your approval, Draco. I am here only as your teacher."
"Then you will no longer be. I refuse to take lessons from a cold, heartless wench."
"You cannot do that!" María exclaimed, horrified. "You need these lessons to function as a Telepath!"
"I. Don't. Care." Draco spat. "You've taught me enough so that I might function as a regular wizard, and that's enough for me. I never wanted this gift, so you take your lessons and shove them up your pompous ass. You turn them in, you may as well go straight back to Puerto Rico." Draco knew he wasn't playing fair, but at this point, he was willing to do anything to keep her away from Dumbledore.
María sighed. "Do what you must," she said, moving toward the door. "I will do what I must."
Draco searched his brain frantically for a way to keep her from telling. "I'll expose you!" he blurted.
María paused and turned to look at him. "What?" she asked.
"I'll tell the world that you're a Telepath," Draco said. "I'll tell them your name and where you live. You'll never be anonymous again. I even have a picture of you that I'll give them."
"You're bluffing," María said, not sounding too sure.
Draco, of course, had no such picture, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt Harry or Professor Snape. "I don't bluff," he said, his voice colder than ice.
They stared at each other for a long time before María spoke. "Very well, Draco," she said in a defeated tone. "You win, but remember this: Whatever hurt Harry experiences because of this will be on your head, not mine."
"So be it," Draco said, knowing that Professor Snape would never hurt Harry.
SIX
"Sh, Harry," Severus comforted, holding Harry to him protectively. It had been a while since Draco had come back with the news that María was going to keep quiet, but Harry had only just stopped crying.
Harry pulled back from Severus' body to look his lover in the eye. They stared at each other for several minutes, Harry's red eyes still glistening from his tears. Severus felt extremely guilty for what had transpired that day, blaming himself for never being strong enough to say no to Harry when he should have.
"Don't do that," Harry said gently, touching Severus' cheek affectionately.
"Do what?" Severus asked.
"Start feeling guilty about all of this," Harry replied. "It's not your fault."
"Yes –"
"Stop." Harry placed a finger on Severus' lips. "Don't say it. Please." He removed his finger and leaned up to replace it with his lips before Severus could say a word. They held each other tightly; their passionate kiss conveying love, trust and hope to each other. When they separated, Harry gave Severus a significant look before disappearing into the bedroom. When Severus entered, he found Harry sitting on the bed, his outer robe draped over the armchair in the corner.
"Harry?" Severus asked uncertainly, realizing that this was the first time since the rape that Harry had entered his bedroom.
Harry waved him over. When Severus reached the bed, Harry grabbed a fistful of robe and lay back, pulling Severus on top of him.
"We don't have to this, Harry," Severus said softly.
"I want to," Harry replied, kissing Severus' jaw. "Just nothing… inside. Not yet."
Severus nodded his understanding, feeling extremely nervous about Harry's sudden decision. Before bending to give Harry's lips the attention they deserved he said, "If you want to stop…"
"I'll tell you," Harry assured him. He pulled Severus down until their lips met and they began kissing languidly. They had been apart for so long that the magic was practically roaring through their veins, closing the rift that had been building between them those many months. Severus began slowly and carefully pulling open the buttons on Harry's shirt, waiting for any sign that his young lover was uncomfortable. "I'm not made of glass," Harry whispered in his ear, making him shiver with delight.
"Buttons," Harry murmured. "Why must you always wear so many buttons?"
Severus chuckled delightedly. "To aggravate you, of course," he replied as he nibbled gently on Harry's earlobe.
"No doubt," Harry said, working Severus' buttons loose with one hand.
As soon as Severus got Harry's shirt opened, his smoothed his hand over the taught flesh of Harry's chest and abdomen, wondering how he had survived so long away from his love. He pushed the fabric out of the way and kissed his way down Harry's jaw down to his chest, sucking gently on the tender spots that never failed to make Harry squirm. He sucked the left nipple into his mouth and sucked until it was a hard nub before moving on to the next.
"Open," Harry whispered, and all of Severus' buttons simultaneously popped open. Severus stared at Harry incredulously as Harry slowly pushed the robes off of Severus shoulders. "Surprise," Harry said before pulling Severus down to kiss him again. They slowly removed each other's clothes, touching each exposed bit of skin with reverence.
As Severus moved down Harry's exquisite naked body, he decided to give his love a little treat. He swirled his tongue in Harry's belly button before moving lower down on Harry's abdomen.
They loved each other with lips, tongues, teeth and hands until they were both spent. After they had recovered, they took a quick bath before retiring for the first peaceful night's sleep for either of them in months.
Author's Note: For the graphic scene, go to ensnared . thehexfile . net or hpfandom . net. Many thanks to Victoria Ennis for her hard work on this fic. Thanks also to…
Volume
Anarane Anwamane
Kears: Did you sleep well? Hehehehehe
Shiemi Shimabukuro
Hikari-Aoi: My dress is blue and gray… very Ravenclaw, really.
DestinyEntwinements: I'll be sure to eat plenty
CogniDi: I'm evil, but even I have limits to my sadism… hehehehe
Rosalia
SexylsSnape126
Sh'arra Rie: It was the scene where Severus was remembering what Lucius did to him. It was just a few choice words removed here and there.
Mariana: Not much more to go. I promise to make things better… eventually.
Hittocerebattosai
Jujube 15
Sword and Magic: Nah, he was careful
Shadow Eclipse
Thedeathalchemist
Purplepaper: It may have been disturbing, but it was so much fun to write. Muahahahahaha!