A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Because Halloween is the best holiday ever (and cuz I got outta school early) here's your Rocky Horror and Little Shop meets a bunch of horror movies parodies!
It was Halloween night; Slade was sitting at home looking at the TV guide to see if Rocky Horror was playing. It wasn't.
"What is this?" Slade thought to himself, "How the hell am I supposed to have a decent Halloween without watching Rocky Horror?" the bell rang, "Stupid kids," he opened the door.
"Trick or treat!" The kids said. They were dressed as the teen titans.
"No offense but your costumes are as far away from scary as they could possibly be."
"They're not apposta to be scary!" a little girl dressed as Starfire said.
"We're the good guys!" little Robin said. Slade glared at them and then gave them each one piece of candy, not the funsize ones the ones that are half the size of the funsize ones. The kids were shocked.
"Jerk!" little Beast Boy said. Slade shut the door in their faces.
"I wonder if the video store is open…" he went to the video store, "Do you have Rocky Horror?"
"Sorry sir," the girl at the register said, "it's out of stock."
"What do you mean it's out of stock!"
"They've all be rented sir... please there is no need for violence!"
"Alright then," he looked at her name tag and then added "Michelle, girl at video store" to his hit list. "Who would dare rent MY movie before ME?" he thought for a moment, "THE TEEN TITANS!" he went to titan's tower and rang the doorbell. They were having a party with the titan's east.
"Wow!" B.B said, "Awesome Slade costume!"
"I am Slade you fool!" he walked in, "The video store doesn't have Rocky Horror! I know one of you rented it to get to me!"
"What's Rocky Horror?" B.B asked.
"We have Rocky I, II, III, IV-" Cyborg said
"Not that loser Rocky," Slade said, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
"No." They all shook their heads.
"How many channels do you have?"
"Five hundred," Starfire said.
"Damn," Slade thought, "more than me… this is pathetic," then he said, "Rocky Horror has to be on one of them!" he grabbed the remote and started flipping channels. B.B went to grab the remote, Cyborg did too. Raven rolled her eyes, Starfire tried to break the fight up. Robin walked in.
"SLADE!" Robin yelled, "DIE!" he jumped Slade, Slade threw him onto the ground, B.B grabbed the remote, then Cyborg did, then Aqualad did, then Speedy did, then Slade did, Raven threatened to smash the TV if they didn't stop, Slade changed the channel and Rocky Horror went on and he broke the remote in half so they couldn't change the channel.
"All of you shut up!" Slade said, then all of the guys jumped him because he broke the remote, Starfire was trying to get them to stop, Bumblebee was preparing to zap them, Raven was preparing to hit them with some magic, Bumblebee and Raven hit them with their powers at the exact same time… then something happened… something very wrong… very wrong and disturbing.
Rocky Horror Cast list
Brad (a hero) - Robin
Janet (a heroine) - Starfire
Columbine - Raven
Riff Raff - Beast Boy
Magenta - Bumblebee
Eddie - Speedy
Rocky (android) - Aqualad
Professor/ narrator (a rivaling scientist) - Cyborg
Drum roll please…..
FRANK. N. FURTER (a mad scientist) - Slade Wilson
Mas, Menos and Silkie were the only people non-affected by the freak accident. They pulled up some chairs, got popcorn and started watching the show.
Cut to a black screen with a pair of green lips, they started to sing,
"the earth stood still but he was all we stand and Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear, some guy named Claude was the invisible man, Fay Wray was with King Kong and something was all the message ran… science fiction, double feature, Dr. X is gonna make a creature and androids are gonna fight, Star and Robin something, something forbidden planet, at the late night double feature picture show! I wanna go, oh, oh, oh, oh, in the back row, to the late night double feature picture show."
Robin and Starfire were outside a church. A wedding had just ended and Starfire caught the bouquet.
"Starfire…" Robin said, "I um… oh, DAMN IT STARFIRE, I LOVE YOU!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO!"
"Let's get married!"
"Yes! Yes! Now we must inform Cyborg, for we met in his class of science!"
Cyborg: Little did they know of the horrific events that would happen to them that night… MUAHAHA!
Robin and Starfire are in the T-car, in the middle of nowhere, it's raining like crazy and then the car breaks down.
"Crap." Robin said, "What are we supposed to do now?"
"I saw a light at the Frankenstein place a few miles back."
"Ok, let's go."
Later…
They ring the doorbell; Beast Boy and Bumblebee were there when the door opened. B.B was the freaky slash mysterious butler, an oversized jacket, his shirt wasn't tucked in, shoulder length hair and he had baggy dress pants. Bumble bee was freaky slash mysterious maid, in a creepy maid outfit with huge hair.
"Hello," Beast Boy said
"Our car broke down and we were wondering if we could use your phone." Robin said.
"Oh, please do come in."
"Are you the owner?"
"No," Bumblebee said, "we are his servants."
"But our master is home now," Beast Boy said, "he's having a party, everyone from Transylvania is there, the cool ones anyway."
"We don't mean to intrude;" Robin said, "we'd just like to use your phone."
"Follow me." Beast Boy led them to a room… strange things were in that room… music was playing. Robin was freaked.
"We don't want to insult their culture," Starfire said, "we have to be respectful."
Then they did the Time Warp (A/N: At parties, this is the only dance you'll ever see me doing voluntarily) Robin and Starfire were scared, very scared. Then the door opened.
"Our master," B.B said, "Slade is here." A bunch of people swooned.
Slade walked in, he was wearing a cape. He whipped it off… underneath it was… ((dun dun dun)) a corset thing, fishnets and stilettos. Robin and Starfire were shivering with fear.
"I see you've met my handyman," Slade said, Robin and Starfire nervously nodded, "He's just a little disappointed because you're not the candy man. Don't let my looks scare you; I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania." More people swooned.
"We'd just like to use your phone," Robin said, "our car broke down and we're in a bit of a hurry."
"Right." Starfire said
"We'll just say where we are and then go back to the car, we don't want to be any worry."
"Stay for the night, or just for a bite, don't worry babies, I'll get you a mechanic. Now let's head to the lab, I've been working on a man, with sexy hair and a tan, good for relieving my… tension it's my latest obsession," Starfire and Robin were very scared, "I see you shiver with antici-" pause, "pation."
In the lab…
Slade is standing by a something covered with a sheet. He's wearing a doctor's mask and pink rubber gloves. Raven is next to him and also has a doctor's mask on and normal gloves, he asks her for a few tools, she hands them to him, then he pulls the cover off and reveals… Aqualad… who is wearing a gold Speedo, random people screamed and fainted. Aqualad got up and started walking around (he's only two seconds old and he's adapting to his environment)
"So what do you think?" Slade asked.
"A wonderful piece of work sir." Beast Boy said.
"Excellent." Bumblebee said.
"Just like a Greek statue," Raven muttered, "stupid fish boy."
"And you two," Slade said to Robin and Starfire, as he pushed Aqualad towards them, "what do you think?"
"Um… good?" Robin said.
"He's a bit too muscular for me-" Starfire was cut off.
"WHAT?" Slade said in shock, "He's perfect! What's wrong with you! Why have a weakling when you can have a man baby! A strong, brawn, sexy man! Aqualad, don't listen to a word they're saying, you're my perfect sexy creation."
Then out of nowhere, Speedy came in on his motorcycle.
Raven screamed with joy and ran to him. Aqualad was eyeing Speedy, Slade noticed this. Speedy got off of his bike and started singing and dancing with Raven,
"Whatever happened to Saturday Night? When-" Slade threw an ax at Speedy. Speedy died.
"SPEEDY!" Raven screamed and started crying. Slade glared at her, she stood up, stopped crying and walked away from Speedy's body. Aqualad was looking at Speedy, Slade led him away.
"In just seven days I can make you a man," Slade said to Aqualad and then wedding music started playing as he led Aqualad to a bed, implying very bad things that non-married people are not supposed to be doing.
Later…
Beast Boy and Bumblebee have thrown Robin and Starfire into separate bedrooms. Starfire and Robin were both as confused and scared as they could possibly be.
Robin was laying down in his bed when someone came in…
"Hey sexy," a voice said
"Starfire is that you?"
"Want some pleasure?"
"AHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, like a girl, "It's you!" he jumped out of the bed and started running around in circles, "PERVERT! GAY PERVERT!"
Starfire is lying down in her bed, when someone comes in.
"Hey sexy," the voice said.
"Robin?" Starfire asked, "Is that you?"
"Wanna take things to the next level?"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, "It's you! PERVERT! PERVERT!" she started hitting him with a golf club that had randomly appeared.
Meanwhile Beast Boy and Bumblebee were watching all of this on the security videos, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. Raven was in her room crying over Speedy, and hating Slade for building Aqualad, also being jealous of Aqualad at the same time.
Starfire had to go to the bathroom, so she got up and started looking for it but instead she found Aqualad. He had cut his arm on something and looked sad.
"Oh, poor bumgorf," she walked to him and started bandaging his cut, "You poor thing, Slade shouldn't be treating you like this…" moment of silence, "Touch-a, touch-a touch me! I wanna feel dirty!"
Later…
Robin and Slade walk in.
"STARFIRE?" Robin said in upset shock.
"ROBIN?" Starfire said in shock.
"AQUALAD!" Slade said in upset shock, he like Robin, looked like he wanted to cry, "How could you do this to me Aqualad? How!"
Cyborg came in, "I am here to discuss the death of my nephew with you."
"Very well then, Beast Boy, Bumblebee is the table ready?"
"We'll go set it for six." B.B left.
At dinner…
Aqualad was trying to figure out how to eat Raven was pale and sad and wanted to cry and kill Slade and basically looked like she was having a nervous breakdown.
"So about Speedy," Cyborg said, Raven began to freak at the word Speedy, everyone looked at her and she managed to calm down, "from the day he was born he was trouble, he was deformed on his modest side. He was a low-life cheap little punk! All he ever wanted was rock and roll, porn, a motor bike and drugs! But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife,"
Raven sighed and said, "What a guy,"
"Makes you cry," Slade said.
"And I did." Cyborg said, "Anyway, he left me a note before he ran off,"
"What's it say?" Raven asked.
Cyborg read, "I'm out of my head, hurry or I may be dead. THEY MUSN'T CARRY OUT THEIR EVIL DEEDS!"
"I told him to listen to me and stay sane!" Raven said, "But he didn't listen and now… he's" she started sobbing; she couldn't finish and ran out of the room.
"Slade, are you up to something?"
"As always professor," Slade said with an evil grin, "come to the lab and I'll show you."
In the lab…
"You know what Slade," Raven said, "I'm sick of you! You stopped thinking about me the minute the idea of making Aqualad popped into your head and pretty soon you're gonna throw him aside and forget about him to, just like you forgot about me! I loved you! You rotten piece of-" Slade hit her with a beam turning her into a rock.
"Me like Starfire," Aqualad said, he was turned into a rock.
"What is this?" Robin said, "I want my mommy!" he was now a rock.
"Robin?" Starfire said, she was turned into a rock.
"Slade," Cyborg said, "You're taking things to far, you're going to do your way of life in-" Cyborg was now a rock.
"Yay!" Slade said happily, "Now we get to do the floor show!" he took all of the statues (that were naked btw with fig leaves in the appropriate places) and had dressed them just like him, fishnets corset girdle things and stilettos.
Note: Cyborg wasn't part of this he was backstage.
Slade pressed a button, they all came to life.
"Well it was great when it all began I was ya regula Slade fan," Raven said, "but it was over when he started workin on his fish boy. Now all that gives me hope is the love of a second dead loser, hey rose tints my world keeps me safe from trouble and pain."
"I'm just seven hours old," Aqulad said, "very sexy to behold, and I've had sex twice, rose tints my world keeps me safe from trouble and pain."
Robin was trying to cover himself, "HELP ME MOMMY! What's this? Let's see… I feel sexy. No! THIS IS WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!"
"This is actually fun!" Starfire said, "I feel wonderful!"
A bunch of trumpets played and Slade walked in.
"Whatever happened to Fay Wray?" Slade said, "That beautiful satin draped Fay, how I cried when I saw her… for I wanted to be dressed just the same." Pause, "Don't dream it, be it. Don't dream it, be it." Everyone else joined in as they started some weird water ballet thing. It went on forever.
"I've gotta get out of here… or I'll go insane," Cyborg said, "I'll lose my mind, I've got to get out of here!" he started to roll his wheel chair away.
"It's beyond me," Robin said, "help me mommy."
Then everyone started singing, and dancing, it seemed like it was never going to end, going on and on. The feeling you'd get if the class you hate most had burst out into song and you could never leave. That's right one version of hell, but then thank God, Beast Boy and Bumblebee walked in with guns wearing alien garb.
"Slade!" B.B said, "It's all over, your mission is a failure, your lifestyle's too extreme. Now I'm your new boss, you're my bitch. We're going back to Transylvania!"
Slade looked shocked and sad, then he started singing his good-bye song, Robin, Starfire, Aqualad and Raven jumped in as the chorus, "On the day I went away,"
"Good-bye,"
"Was all I had to say. And I saw blue skies through the tears in my eyes-" B.B shot him. Slade died.
"Seriously," B.B said, "that guy was never gonna shut it."
"Why'd you kill him?" Starfire asked, "I thought you thought he was ok."
"Society needs to be protected," B.B said.
"Can you imagine what things would be like if he was exposed to the public?" Bumblebee said. Then they shot Aqualad who was trying to leave.
"Why'd you kill him?" Raven asked, "I hated him but he was still hot!" B.B shot Raven. Raven died. Then they pressed a button and the house flew into space, leaving Starfire and Robin there still dressed the way they were.
Cyborg: (voice over) and crawling on the planet's face, some insects, called the human race, lost in time, lost in space, and in meaning. That's right; this movie has absolutely no purpose what so ever.
"And all we wanted to do was use their phone." Starfire said.
Back to the black screen with green lips on it, "Science fiction double feature, Slade built and lost his creature, darkness kicked the asses of Star and Robin, the servants gone to and partied on a distant planet, at the late night double feature show."
It was over, everyone regained their senses. They all looked at each other and screamed. (A/N: Everything that was disturbing in the movie was implied, they didn't actually do it you sick people! But still, it being implied is very scary!)
"Mas and Menos aren't even thirteen and we let them see this?" Bumblebee said, she was very ticked off. Mas and Menos were hiding under the table with Silkie in the fetal position, "They're way too young to be exposed to this! Just look at them!"
Raven looked at herself, saw what she was wearing and screamed. Then she ran to her room to change. Aqualad looked at Slade and Starfire, and then he ran to the bathroom to vomit. Slade ran into another bathroom to vomit after realizing that the movie implied that he did… things… with all of the titans. Cyborg was thanking God he had a normal character. Speedy jumped out the window and ran home with fear. Beast Boy was doing a victory dance because Riff Raff is the coolest. Starfire was wondering if there were people on earth who were actually like this. Bumblebee was trying to help Mas and Menos feel better.
"Why wasn't I the star?" Robin said. Aqualad and Slade were done vomiting, they had both changed back into their normal clothes, and Raven was also back in her normal clothes. Everyone looked at him in shock. "This isn't fair! I'm always the star!"
"Robin," Starfire said calmly, "the star as you call him was a transvestite and it was implied that he slept with all of us except for Speedy. All you have to say is, "why wasn't I the star?""
"No scheiße! If it means being a drugged up nymphomaniac sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania, I'll do it!"
Starfire fainted. Everyone was in shock.
"Yes, it's wrong and sick but we all know that me being the star overrules anything. You don't get it; I need to be the star, no matter who he, she or it happens to be!"
"Robin," Slade said, "you desperately need therapy. You're coming with me." He grabbed his arm; Robin tried to break free and failed. Slade swung open the door; a bunch of trick-or-treaters dressed up as the titans saw Robin, screamed and ran to their moms. Their moms covered their kids' eyes and started yelling at Robin, "Ladies," Slade said, "I beg your pardon but he just got back from the midnight showing of Rocky Horror in Greenwitch Village, and since there is no group of freaks on the west coast that I know of to give him to, I'm taking him to the nearest mental hospital."
"I say you take him back to The Village and leave him there." One mother said.
"That works too; I'll see which one is closer." Then he said to Robin, "Bird boy do you want to be in New York City with your own kind and roam freely or be in a mental hospital?"
"Let me go!" Robin continued to try and break free.
"The Village it is, listen to me, you're going to get your ass on the F train and then-" Robin broke free, and ran away as fast as his legs could carry him, but he was wearing heels so he tripped, and was in too much pain to get up. Some little kids found him there the next day; he was lectured on why he shouldn't take drugs and behaving himself in public. The end.
A/N: This is a double feature so that means… another chapter! I will put it up sometime tomorrow.