A/N: Only one review… mega props to IwuvMyKenshypoo! I assume the first chapter scared everyone else off… all I have to say to the losers who were freaked by the last chapter and didn't review is this, if you haven't heard it by now it's about time you did!
Now presenting my parody of as many horror movies I could make fun of!
The three male titans were asked to watch Batman's house up in the mountains (Raven and Star were in the rainforests of South America with weapons). On the way there Beast Boy found a really weird looking Venus flytrap and decided to call it Terra II. But he couldn't figure out what to feed it.
"You gotta eat something!" B.B said, "Don't die on me. Want tofu?" he offered the plant some tofu, "Soymilk? A veggie burger? I can feed you a Spice Girls CD if you want," he tried to open the CD case and then cut himself, "CRAP! You stupid-" he realized the plant's little mouth was wide open, "uh…" he put his bleeding finger by the plant, the plant bit it, "OWWW! GIMME MY FINGER BACK!" he broke his finger free, "You sicko!"
Robin started walking to his bed… when he heard something.
"Hello Robin" a voice said.
"Who's there?"
Razor blades are heard scratching.
"Who are you?" Robin got his weapons out.
"Your worst nightmare," Slade popped out of nowhere and started slashing Robin with his razor blades, Robin tried to fight back, and failed, miserably. Luckily Cyborg woke him up.
"Robin," Cyborg said, "how many times to I have to tell you, STOP TAKING THAT SLADE DUST! Woah… what happened to your arms?" he noticed the slash marks.
"LUNCH TIME!" the plant said, hopped over to Robin and started sucking the blood off of his arm.
"AHHH NASTY NASY!" Robin ran around screaming with Terra II biting onto his arm.
Later…
"I can't keep feeding you blood," B.B said to the plant, "it sick and wrong. Even though I'm a vegetarian I'd rather feed you animals instead of humans. I'll buy you meat."
"But it ain't fresh! I want some blood HUMAN BLOOD! I aint eatin that animal crap! FEED ME BEAST BOY! FEED ME NOW!"
"Fine, I'm going to the blood bank."
"Why don't you go and wack Terra's boyfriend, that black eye she had today aint makeup and that cast she has on her arm was from an accident, an accident named SLADE!"
"I'm going to the blood bank! And Terra is a rock! AND I'M HER BOYFRIEND!"
"Whateva you say."
B.B left.
"Raven," Starfire said, "please, why are we in the forests of south America."
"Predator is loose," Raven said, "we need to kill him, before he kills us."
"But why are we here to begin with."
"I don't know… but we need to take Predator down." she took out a bazooka
Robin walked out the door then he saw Silkie, dead on the ground, "Oh God no… no… how's Starfire going to take this? She'll be heart broken I…"
"Let's go bury him," Cyborg said, "I'll show you a place." He led Robin to the Pet Sematary.
"So where are we going to bury him?"
"Not here… further." Cyborg led him into an Indian burial ground, "Starfire isn't ready to lose Silkie, bury him here he'll be back tomorrow."
"Sure…" Robin buried Silkie, then he and Cyborg left.
"Please," Starfire said, "who is the Predator of which you speak?"
"An alien with dread locks, he hunts humans for game." Raven jumped into a mud pit.
"Why did you just jump into the nastyness?"
"He has heat vision and can't see through mud," she threw a mud ball at Starfire, "put it on yourself too."
The Next Day…
B.B is feeding his plant some blood he got from the Red Cross, the plant has gotten huge. Robin is watering some plants.
"OH MY DC!" Robin jumped backwards when he saw Silkie, Silkie hissed at him and started eating everything. Then he set several things on fire, Robin put them out.
"Robin!" Batman said, "What the hell is going on in here?"
"Sorry, Silkie went a little crazy."
"Beast Boy, what's your secret to that plant?"
"Secret?" B.B asked nervously.
"What do you feed him?"
"Uh…" the plant's mouth opened behind Batman and then ate him, "TERRA II WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"
"Eatin MA LUNCH!" the plant yelled. Robin fainted; Silkie started wreaking more things, "Tasty. Man does yo boss taste good!"
"Dude!" B.B said, "eating people is wrong!"
"You know if you feed me, I can get you any thing you want. Money, girls, one particular girl, how about that Terra."
"She's already my girlfriend!"
"But she's a rock aint she?"
"Yeah but-"
"We can change her back."
"Really?"
"IF YOU GET ME SOME BLOOD!"
Robin began to wake up; he started cleaning up Silkie's mess.
"Why bother cleaning?" Slade asked, "You'll be dead in a few seconds," Robin and Slade started fighting, then Starfire woke Robin up.
"Robin, are you ok?" She asked.
"Yes… I'm fine. Weren't you in the tropics with Raven?"
"I was… but now Raven… isn't I believe "with us" is the term used…" she looked down sadly and held up a body bag.
Flashback
Raven: See that branch move, that's him… AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS! ((shoots power at him)) Oh crap my mud washed off.
Predator shot Raven with one of his weapons, Raven died, he walked up to her, ripped her limbs off and mutilated her body. Starfire was in shock, then Predator turned his camouflage off and asked Starfire out on a date because his planet was right next to hers. Starfire said no, shot him with her starbolts and he died, she gathered Raven's remains and took her to the rest of the titans.
End Flashback
Robin thought about the cemetery he took Silkie to, then he had an idea.
"Here!" B.B said, "I found Brother Blood, he's already dead. Eat him!"
"He aint fresh!" Terra II said, "He's been dead since season three! I WANT A FRESH DEAD BODY!"
"Didn't Raven just die…?"
"Fine… maybe I won't help you turn Terra back."
"Who do you want me to kill?"
"I dunno! Somebody! I LIKE MY FLESH FRESH!"
At the Pet Sematary
"I wonder if it'll work," Robin thought to himself, the ghost of Batman popped up.
"The ground is sour… don't do it." Batman said.
"Shut up! It might work."
"She might look like Raven but she won't be Raven. Trust me, this happened once before. The results were not pretty. I know this doesn't sound right but trust me, dead is better!" Robin went on burying Raven, "That boy is a dumbass," Batman thought to himself.
"If it doesn't work," Robin thought to himself, "I'll just kill her, nobody will have to know."
"The ground is sour you moron."
The Next Day…
Raven is back, she's still slightly decomposing and is talking to some of the titans east.
"Who's your favorite psycho killer?"
"Jason!" Speedy said.
"Freddy Kruger!" Aqualad said.
"No way," Bumblebee said, "Hannibal Lector kicks both their asses."
"Really?" Raven said, "I've always thought I was the coolest psycho killer."
"What the?" Speedy asked, "You alright?"
"I don't know," Raven pulled out a knife, "let's find out!" Then she murdered all of the titans east, except for Mas and Menos, they got away. "A job well done, man that was fun, my daddy will be so proud of me! Bumblebee did have some respect for Hannibal… to eat them or not to eat them. Silkie what do you think?"
Silkie took a bit out of Speedy's arm.
"I call their livers!"
Readers: Eh…?
"Hey, Willy Wonka said everything was eatable."
Raven walked into the house, Starfire was there watering the plants. "Hey Starfire."
"Raven? Why are you… in an early state of decomposition…? AND ALIVE!"
"Cuz zombie is the new look. You can have it too." Raven whipped her knife.
"Raven, you are not ok! Please do not make me hurt you!"
"Like that'll happen," Raven was about to jump Starfire and start stabbing her when Slade walked in.
"She's mine!" Slade said, "You got the titans east and eat their livers let me kill her!" he flashed his razors.
"I don't think so. I haven't tried Tamaranean liver yet." Raven pulled out some more knives. She and Slade started fighting over who would get to kill Starfire, Starfire ran away. Silkie came in and helped Raven beat up Slade. They managed to swipe Slade's razors, Slade ran away to get new ones. "I win," Then Raven picked up an ax, "and now to find what is rightfully mine." She laughed evilly. Then she started running around the mansion with the ax, breaking down every locked door and screaming "Here's RAVEN!"
Cyborg was in a room, he had written "redrum" all over everything, then Robin walked in.
"Cyborg," Robin said, "what the heck are you doing?"
"Redrum…" Cyborg said, "redrum…"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean!"
"Redrum."
"What's your deal?"
"Redrum, you know The Shining."
"What the?"
"You've never seen The Shining?"
"No."
"You suck."
"HERE'S RAVEN!" Raven said as she knocked the door down with her ax. Silkie walked in with her,
"See, right now Raven thinks she's Jack Nicholson."
"Why would I degrade myself to that level Clarice? Hannibal is cooler than Johnny, he has class and an excellent taste in livers."
"WTF?" Robin and Cyborg said at the same time.
"I was looking for Starfire, haven't tried Tamaranean liver yet. I wonder what yours tastes like." She looked at Cyborg, his eyes widened; she held up her ax, chased him around and eventually killed him. Meanwhile Robin had grabbed Silkie and injected him with poison, this took him some time when he was finished and wanted to go after Raven, he saw that she already left.
"Here's the man that invented CD wrappers," B.B said dragging in a body, "it was for a good cause."
"Finally!" Terra II ate the evil man.
"So how do we turn Terra back?"
"I don't know! I hadta say something for you to get me some lunch!"
Starfire was in the shower singing some Tamaranean folk song, wearing a bathing suit (this chapter is rated T for violence not nudity), Raven walked in with her knife, swung the curtain open, Starfire screamed, they started fighting, Raven killed her. Robin walked in and found Raven stabbing Starfire, then he jumped her and injected the poison in her.
"STARFIRE!" Robin said, he ran to her and tried to wake her up. "No… NO!" he started crying over her body, then he picked it up and started walking to the pet sematary.
"You idiot," Batman's ghost said, "You didn't learn from the first two times!"
"Raven and Silkie were dead for too long… Starfire… she just died… SHE WILL COME BACK! And she'll be the same!"
"The ground is sour!"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"
"Actually… I don't know."
"Starfire will come back! AND SHE WILL BE THE SAME!"
The next day…
Starfire walked into the mansion, all decomposing and corpsey, covered in the dirt she was buried in, "Robin," she said lovingly.
"Starfire!" he hugged her, "I love you," they kissed.
Readers: EWWWWWWWWWWW! CORPSE KISSER!
While they were making out Starfire grabbed a knife and raised it to Robin's back and stabbed him, "That's for waiting for me to die to tell me how you feel!" Starfire started laughing evilly, "Beast Boy and Slade are still alive! Glorious I shall kill them!" then the plant ate her and Robin.
A/N: Yes… this is the first time I've made two people, not one human and a rock… have a real kiss in a story (looks down in shame) but what the heck, they both die in the end! It's all good!
"I was supposed to kill them!" Slade said, "DIE BITCH!" he ran after the plant with his new razors and a flame thrower, killed it, and then he walked outside and looked up. He saw five million UFOs and a bunch of tripods that were vaporizing everything, and birds… lots and lots of birds… "Oh crap."
Beast Boy walked outside, having been the only other survivor of the horror movie for now, "Um how do we kill these guys?"
"You think I know?"
Beast Boy sneezed, all of the tripods collapsed. It started raining, the space ships left. "GO BEAST BOY! I KILLED THE TRIPODS! I HAVE MAD GERM SKILLZ!"
"Oh dear Lord, I'm probably one of the only people left on earth and I'm stuck with him…"
"I'm still here Sladey dear!" Kitten said as she popped out of nowhere.
"You have got to be kidding me." Then Red Star fell back to earth and caused a radioactive explosion, "And now I'm going to get cancer."
Aqualad, Speedy and Bumblebee got up, along with every other dead teenager. Beast Boy started running around in circles and screaming, "ZOMBIES!"
Slade smacked him over the head, "Zombies move slowly and they're extremely stupid and easy to kill. What's your problem?"
"But so many…" the camera zoomed out revealing thousands of zombies.
"Crap." Then all of the birds attacked the zombies, "So we did absolutely nothing and the aliens and zombies died, but now we have to get past some stupid birds."
"HEY!" B.B said, "I've been a bird!"
"What do we do now?"
"Repopulate the globe!" Kitten said to Slade.
"Kitten, I kill minors. I do not and I repeat I DO NOT SLEEP WITH THEM! That's right I kill teenagers." He killed Kitten.
"Wait a minute," B.B said, "this is just a dream, you're not real."
"I am real!"
"No you're not," B.B turned his back on Slade, "I take away all of the power I gave you." Slade disappeared. B.B morphed into a bird and flew away, and then he woke up.
"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" B.B said, "That ending sucked! How the heck does the bad guy just disappear?" B.B walked out of his room, "Lame stupid ending. One of us could've at least died."
"That can be arranged." Cyborg said evilly. He was surround by the other titans they all had sharp, pointy objects and were laughing evilly.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" B.B screamed his head off and jumped out the window. The End.
A/N: This is my last parody for a while. Next I'm putting up Safety in Chem. Lab or My Big Fat Tamaranean Wedding, whatever one my friends say is funnier.