TITLE: Changes
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: An eight-year-old Shannon reflects on her new life when grounded.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
Shannon sat with her arms crossed and her feet dangling over the edge of the bed. In her old bed, her feet would have just touched the ground. Now, she felt as if she were a million miles from the floor. She didn't understand why she needed a new bed in the first place. There was nothing wrong with the old one. Her Mommy had bought it special for her. There were flowers carved into the wood. The bed even smelled like flowers. Somehow the bed had kept the smell of her Mommy's perfume.
Now she had what her New Mom called a princess bed. It was pink and fluffy. It had a cover over the top. Sabrina called it a canopy. Shannon didn't like it. The long white curtains scared her. She'd wake up in the middle of the night and see them moving. They made her think of ghosts. She had nightmares now.
The worst part, Shannon thought, as she swung her feet back and forth, was that Sabrina – she wouldn't dare call her Mommy – had changed her entire room. No more painting supplies. No more chalkboard to play school. No more spots on the wall where she was allowed to paint. No more anything that her Real Mommy had put in the room. Shannon had picked everything out with her when it was time for her "big girl" room. Now she felt like a baby again.
The room looked as if someone had thrown up cotton candy. Pink cotton candy. Shannon had told Sabrina that she hated pink. Pink was for babies. But Sabrina had won the fight. And now everything was pink. Her curtains, her carpet, her walls, everything. Even her closet had somehow changed into a place where only pink things lived. She felt like a Barbie now. And she hated Barbies.
She hated this room. Sabrina had bought her dolls, lots of little porcelain dolls that she wasn't allowed to touch. They just sat there staring at her from their ledge, watching her every move. Quietly, she slid off the bed. She went to her dress up box and pulled out the white veil she used when she played wedding. She tiptoed over to the dolls. She draped the veil over them. She felt a little better now that they weren't watching her. She climbed back onto her bed. She drew her legs up, and held them closely to her chest.
Shannon's daddy had always told her that she was like a grown-up trapped in a kid's body. She had never understood really what that meant. He'd laugh at her when she said something, and would say she was wise beyond her years. That was why she had gotten the "big girl" room when she was only five. She didn't really have many dolls in her room before. She preferred to paint or write stories or play school with her stuffed animals lined up on the floor. Daddy had been so impressed with her paintings that he allowed her a wall in his study where she could paint whenever and whatever she wanted. Then he would take a picture, paint over the wall art in whatever color Shannon wanted, and let her paint a new masterpiece, as he called it. It seemed someone forget to tell the New Mom. That's why Shannon was now in her room. Sitting as still as she could on her bed. Sabrina said not to make a sound. She was grounded. Whatever that meant.
Shannon could hear Sabrina on the phone telling daddy what a horrible child Shannon was. She wondered if daddy was telling Sabrina she was wrong, but she doubted it. Daddy didn't love her the same way any more. She hadn't done anything wrong. She'd told Sabrina that daddy let her do it. She had thought Sabrina would hit her. She wanted her to hit her. Maybe then her daddy would see what a witch he'd married.
Shannon felt like Cinderella. She had a wicked stepmother, a Daddy who was gone on a business trip, and an evil stepbrother. Boone. The one thing Shannon learned from Boone was that boys were gross. She was also starting to learn that boys could do nothing wrong. Boone was Sabrina's favorite. She hoped he wouldn't steal her daddy too.
From the moment Shannon first saw Boone, she hated him. He was dirty and smelled funny too. Like he never took a bath. He offered her chocolate. She said no. She didn't really like chocolate. It made her tummy hurt. Boone went to Sabrina and complained that Shannon wasn't being nice. Daddy made her take the chocolate. She threw up that night. She hated throwing up. At least when Real Mommy had been here, she'd stay by her side and rub her back. Now she was all alone. Just like Cinderella.
Shannon scooted further up on her bed. She reached under one of the pillows and pulled out a picture of her with her Mommy. She lay down against the pillows and pulled the picture close to her chest. She wanted her Real Mommy back. Not the woman who dressed her up like a living doll, and made her eat things she didn't like and took away all the things she loved.
Tears filled her eyes as she hugged the picture tightly. She had a New Mom, a new brother, and pretty much a new Daddy, too, because Sabrina made him different; and she had a new room and a new bed. Maybe it was time that she became a new Shannon too.
She buried her face in her pillows wishing that her Real Mom could hold her close and make the hurt go away.
The end.