Author's note: Sorry for the weirdness of the chapters. I saved the first few differently on my computer. Please excuse. One again…..All characters belong to J.K Rowling.
Ch. 3 Heart ache
Harry and Ron slowly made their way back up to the Gryffindor tower. Ron kept grumbling about how he would never be able to look Hermione in the face ever again, to the point where Harry, even though they were friends wanted to give him a good smack to snap out of it. Harry sighed and kept walking.
"…and plus, even if we do talk, things are going to be so awkward that I won't know what do say! AND! (he accented the "and" for emphasis) I have so much work to do that I don't know where my head is!" Harry's patience was slowly dwindling.
"…Hermione is such a smart girl I will never have a chance anyways, I am just Ron…Ron Ron Ron….no one special really. I mean, you Harry, you have all the fame you could ask for. I could use a little of that!" Harry had, had enough!
"RON! Stop it pleeeease! I've had it up to here (he placed his hand up to his neck) with your complaining! Jeesh! You want fame? Believe me its not what it seems!" Harry's ears turned red from his shouting and his glasses went crooked. The words echoed off the walls. Harry reached up to fix his glasses.
Ron was stunned into silence. Never had Harry reacted to him like that in the 6 years they had known each other. Ron opened and closed his mouth but no words came out. He decided it was best to say nothing and the two kept walking in silence for some distance.
"Hey, mate, I'm sorry…..I know it must be hard for you and all." Ron's voice drifted off.
"Yea…..its ok. I know I have been a little uptight lately. Too much on my mind."
Yea, Ron thought to himself. He had seemed a little far off lately. Which is strange since Voldemort was out of the picture. So what could be bothering Harry? Ron thought about questioning Harry about it but now was not the time.
Soon they stopped in front of the Fat Old Lady who was at the moment fluffing her hair and really did not want to be disturbed.
"Picklespears" Harry said and the door slowly opened and Harry and Ron entered into the Gryfinndor common room. Harry blopped himself down on one of the couches while Ron took the large chair overstuffed chair by the fire. The fire was roaring and giving off a great amount of heat.
"So, what are you going to do about Hermione?" Harry questioned his friend. They were alone in the tower. The others were still at dinner.
Ron was staring off into the fire. "I dunno, Harry..I dunno."
"Well, I think you should at least say something!"
"Its easier said then done mate." Ron paused. "I think I will ask her to the ball."
"Great!" Harry exclaimed. "We can all go together as a group!"
'We?" Ron raised an eyebrow and looked over at Harry who had a huge grin on his face.
"Yea….You, me, Hermione, and….Ginny." Ron didn't say anything. He looked back into the fire. "Ron?"
"Oh nothing" Ron replied. "I didn't know you two were together."
"Well, we're not….officially since we broke up before the summer. At that time I wasn't sure what would happen to her since…well, if Voldemort had found out that I was with her…she…she would've been in grave danger! It was better for the both of us to not be together. I mean not only was she my girl friend ..but…heck…she is my best friend's sister! I wouldn't felt double the guilt if anything would've happened to her. (he glanced over at Ron) Plus, you would've killed me on top of it …if Voldmort didn't get to me first that is."
Ron smiled. "Yea..I probably would've been pretty upset. I mean….it is weird already for my best friend to be dating my sister as it is."
Harry laughed. "yea…..I can imagine. But,….she is just so great." Ron looked over and Harry's eyes were twinkling and he seemed somewhere far away in his mind. Ron sighed and then smiled.
"Well..what about if anything ever happens with you and Hermione…I mean then two of my best friends would be dating and THAT would be weird."
Ron's smile faded.
"That's different."
"How is that different?"
'Well, Hermione isn't your sister!"
"True. I guess you do have a point there. Even though she sometimes feels like a sister. Doesn't she feel like a sister to you?"
"NO! Harry, that's just wierd!" Ron made a face.
Harry laughed. "Hey mate, I know YOU don't feel like she is your sister. But what I am saying is that I feel like a brother to her. Ya know? Me and her..that would just be weird!" Harry laughed again. The mere thought of it! Him and Hermione together. That was the biggest joke in the book. They were great as friends but anything more than that? Harry couldn't picture it for one second.
Neither of them talked for a bit and just watched the fire, enjoying the time without everyone being there at once. They had time to talk, time to catch up.
"Harry?"
"Mmm?"
"Of all the girls in school why must I be crushing on Hermione?
Harry laughed. "I dunno…I guess it just happens."
"Yea…I guess so." (Pause) " But why couldn't it be some other girl? It would've made things easier!"
Harry looked over at Ron. "What do you mean easier?"
"Well, if anything ever happens between me and her and then we break up or something…..well, what if we never, ever talk again! Then our friendship would be ruined. So its either…I tell her and then we become more than friends or I don't and we remain friends which is safer……and yet terrible at the same time!"
Ron repositioned himself on the seat with his legs dangling over one arm rest and his head on the other.
'Well…I guess that is a chance you have to take, Ron. I mean you could just stay friends for now and see what happens. Maybe that's better for now. Eventually you will have to tell her! I mean, next year we won't be coming back here. So it really doesn't matter what happens now. Everyone will forget about it come next year."
Ron thought that over. He does have a point.
"And besides…..why think so negative! You and Hermione may be going out for quite some time."
Ron laughed. "Well, we fight all the time now! Who says that won't happen once we are together?"
"Well, that's just foreplay."
Ron went to say something, gasped, choked, and then managed to sputter.
"Fo-foreplay? Harry, have you gone mad? I mean really, foreplay" Ron was red as a beet.
Harry laughed at his friend. "I am just kidding around, Ron. Man…sometime you really are immature."
At that moment the door creaked open and the rest of the Gryfindors filed in followed by Hermione and Ginny.
"hey guys…" Hermione's voice trailed off. She looked at Harry then at Ron whose face was bright red.
"Ro..?" She wasn't able to finish before Ron leaped up out of the chair and made a dash for the boys tower.
"Harry?" She looked at Harry who merely shrugged. "What is going on here?" She questioned.
"Ron! What is wrong with you!" She had turned and yelled after him.
"Hermione, let him be." Hermione sat down on the couch, in puzzlement.
"Harry, what is wrong with my brother?" Ginny questioned although she knew exactly what was the matter.
"yea..did you figure out what is going on with Ron?" Hermione questioned. "Is he sick?" In her voice Harry heard concern. Yea. Love sick. He thought.
"What did you guys talk about?" Hermione continued although her other questioned hadn't been answered.
"Oh just guys stuff" harry replied. No no no…he did NOT want to be in the middle of this. He had his own worries.
Hermione grew angry and tears threatened to seep through her eyes. "I can't believe you two! What has gotten into you? Why in the world is Ron acting so strange? We don't even talk! We used to talk all the time! Now everytime I enter the room he runs out! Why is that? And Harry, you are acting just as bad as he is. What are you covering up for?" Hermione's eyes pierced Harry's.
"Hermione, please. Ron, just needs to figure some things out." His voice was calm and steady. This did not help one bit. Hermione began to yell even louder. Some Gryffindor pupils turned around and see what was causing the commotion.
"Harry! And you too! You BOTH have been acting quite strange! What is wrong with you? What is wrong with everybody? We should be happy now that Voldemort is gone and yet everyone is just moody lately! What is going on? What is happening to our friendship?" The flood gates opened and Hermione tears ran freely. She wiped then away with her index finger. She looked at Harry who was dumbstruck and with a sniffle Hermione ran from the room with many eyes following her out. Ginny sprang after her friend with a displeased look at Harry. Harry sighed and leaned back against the couch. Poor Hermione! Ron is really acting like a coward. Harry thought that over. He isn't a coward though actually. He thought again. Well, whenever Hermione is around he used to be not a coward and now all of the sudden he has turned to a shy coward.
Hermione got to her room and collapsed on her bed in sobs, her face in her pillow to muffle out the sound. Ginny entered the room.
"Hermione? Are you ok?" She walked over and sat next to her friend gently rubbing her back. "I told you not to let them get to you."
With a sniffle, Hermione looked up. Her face was drenched in tears. Ginny walked over to the dresser and grabbed a tissue.
"here." Ginny said handing Hermione the tissue.
"thanks." She replied in a small voice.
"Are you ok? What brought that on? I thought everything would be fine after the talk in the bathroom?"
Hermione sniffled, "I know. I dunno. I think my emotions got the best of me." She looked down into her lap. " I really like him." She said in a whisper.
Ginny's heart melted. Strong, Hermione. Funny what love could do to a person.
"Come here." She said and gently placed her arm around Hermione, comforting her. " I know you do….I know…"
Harry was left to his thoughts in the Gryfinndor room. The rest had left whispering to themselves about what had just happened, to their respective rooms. Harry didn't care. What a mess. He thought. Deciding that he better have a talk with Ron, he left to the tower.
He entered the room and Ron was laying in his bed reading a book.
"Really smooth, mate." Harry said, in a tone of agitation, as he entered.
Ron looked up from his booked. Frowned and then continued to read.
"I can't believe you keep just walking away. Really, really good. You should at least talk to her!" Harry said as he walked over and sat down on his bed looking at Ron reading.
Ron felt him watching him. 'WHAT!"
"Ron, look, you can't keep running out of the room like that! It just not right. You have to talk with her at least! Ok?"
Ron turned to his side, his back to Harry and continued to read, pretending to ignore Harry.
"RON! Snap out of it! You have to play it cool mate. Just talk….casually. Ya know? Like you have been doing for the past six years!"
Ron snickered. "You mean fight? Haven't you realized that's all we ever do?"
"Well, then don't argue with her then!" Harry replied getting even more frustrated. " I don't want to be in the middle of you two!"
Harry grabbed Ron's arm and turn him on his back.
"hey! I am trying to read."
"Well, that will just have to wait. Ron, mate, come on! Grow up! Just talk with her ok? Promise me you will stop these childish games?" Harry looked him straight in the eye. Ron sighed.
"Fine! Now will you let me read?"
"sure." Harry let go of Ron's arm and stood up. "You know…Hermione was really upset tonight. (he let that sink in for a second before continuing) and she ran to her room crying. Just wanted you to know that." With that Harry left the room to leave Ron to his reading.
Ron had pretended not to hear even though he heard every word. She ran to her room crying.
Ron's heart ached. Poor Hermione! My poor Hermione. Why am I doing this? He questioned himself. He wanted to punch himself in the face for acting so immaturely. Ron thought about what he had to do and came to the conclusion that he needed to talk to Hermione. Now…if not sooner.
Completely forgetting about the reading and the rules he got up off his bed and made his way quietly to the girls tower.
He reached the girl's door and paused. He doubted himself now and thought that maybe he should just turn around and forget about it and talk to her tomorrow. Then he stopped and listened. He thought he heard sniffles coming from the other side of the door. Man, I am such an idiot. He thought to himself. Waiting a few seconds longer, mustering up his courage he finally knocked on the door. No sound came. He knocked again figuring that if no one answered he would just turn around. But the door creaked open and Ginny peeked out.
"What do you want? You shouldn't be over here ya know!"
"I know sis…please just let me in…I need to talk to Hermione."
"Oh do you? Well, she doesn't want to talk to you right now so go away."
"Ginny please move. Come on…let me in…I won't be long!"
"Yea, you sure won't cause you will leave right now!"
Ron looked angerly at his sister she looked back in the same way. Ron decided to push his way through the door. Ginny pushed back. Darn, she is so strong! But Ron pushed harder and with more determination until finally a voice said,
" Ginny, just let him in." Hermione! My angel! Ron felt triumphant. Ginny gave in and let Ron into the room.
Ron stepped into the room and Ginny closed the door behind them. Ron looked over to where Hermione was sitting. His heart went out to her. She really looked the image of an angel! The sunlight came gently through the windows and it caused her hair to gently sparkle in the sunlight. Although, her face was glistening from the many shed tears she looked absolutely beautiful. Ron's heart beat faster and he tried to find the right words but nothing seemed to sound right in his head so he said nothing.
"Hi Ron…" Hermione said. Even though it was nothing special, Hermione had said hi many times before, this time those two simple words were like daggers to Ron's heart. He didn't dare look at her in the eyes because if he did, he knew he would loose his cool. Ron took a deep breath and said the three words that he hoped would make things right.
"I'm sorry, Hermione." He looked over to Hermione to see her reaction but she did not move from her spot. Ron wanted to know what she was thinking…and feeling. If it was anything he was feeling….Ron's heart was pounding in his ears and he had totally forgotten that his sister was still there until she finally said, " I think I will leave you two alone." She gave a small smile to her brother and then gently walked out of the room closing the door behind her. Ron turned his attention back to Hermione. What should I say? His thoughts were racing.
He slowly walked over to Hermione which seemed to take forever since his legs felt like lead. He gulped. How can I make her see how much I care? She was looking at him so intently that Ron felt color rushing to his face. He looked down to his feet and then back up.
"may I take a seat?" He asked cautiously.
"sure." Hermione scooted over to give him room. Ron sat down and his senses went into over drive. He suddenly was acutely aware of how close he was to her. He could smell the gentle perfume she always wore and it made him light headed. His thoughts were all lost. Pull yourself together! Ron then turned.
"Hermione….."
"Shh….. it's ok. I know." Hermione looked at him with her hazel eyes and Ron melted. All he wanted to do was wipe away all her tears and take her into his arms and hold her for a long time…..no for infinity. His stomach did a flip.
Hermione saw his puzzled expression and proceeded
"You don't have to say sorry. I know you are sorry. " she gave a small smile to reassure him.
"Hermione….I…."
"It's ok Ron, I know you have a lot going on. You don't have to tell me. Let's just talk like we used to ok? I don't want you to keep walking away when I come into the room. Alright?
Ron nodded. He got up an got a tissue from the dresser and wanted so much to wipe her tears away but instead he just handed the tissue to her.
"thanks." Hermione said with a small smile. "Well, I better get started on my homework…and you should better go back to the boys tower….if you were to be caught here you could be expelled!"
Practical Hermione. Ron wanted so much to tell her how he felt but he just couldn't. Not now. Maybe not ever.
"Hermione….I really."
Hermione interrupted him again, " Please Ron, don't get yourself in trouble. Come on." She gently laid her hands on Ron's shoulder and beckoned him to stand up. This gesture caused fire bolts to race through Ron's body and his mind went blank. He felt like he couldn't breath. What the heck is wrong with me! Slowly Hermione got up. Don't leave….Please…..Hermione…..I love you. His thoughts surprised him. But his mouth could not speak them. Hermione was already half way across the room when Ron got up off the bed and followed her out the door.
"Hurry,. Ron. I will meet you and Harry for breakfast. And…Thanks. Thanks for coming here and apologizing." She smiled and Ron's knees went weak.
"No..problem." OH! So much he wanted to tell her!
They stood in the doorway to her room. Ron blushed. If anyone found them there what would they think?
"Go go!" Hermione told him and gave him a playful push.
"Ok." Ron smiled. I want to kiss her.. Then he simply turned and walked back to the boys room.
Hermione couldn't believe what had just happened. Her heart beat fast and she closed the door behind herself as she re-entered her room. Then she leaned up against the door and slowly slid to the floor lost in a million confusing thoughts.