A/N: this is a songfic, so just so u know the song is a perfect circle 'the outsider'
Surma
How did he find me? How could he have tricked everyone? Why did he betray us? He doesn't understand the seriousness of the matter. Why does it have to rain? Today, I thought I would get food, sleep and get my clothes washed. Many thoughts were going through my mind, running down the street, my black shoulder bag with all my possesion except what was on me banging against my hip, my steel-toe boots were splashing into puddles as it was raining, I was soaked, my shoulder-length black hair banging against my ghost white petit body, my grey eyes with dark circles around them from lack of sleep, my ripped below knee skirt, top, long cardigan, tight, long leather, all black to camouflage me in the night. I started coughing furiously, but I couldnt stop, he was just behind me, and he cant hear me, unless, no I cant let that happen.
Help me if you can
It's just that this, this is not the way I'm wired
So could you please,
I couldn't believe how sick I was, my head it hurt so much, I wanted to lie down. I also hadn't eaten in days. I just wanted to die but I can't. So many emotions were angry, frustration, confusion, sorrow so many things, I couldnt take it, I wanted to breakdown and cry. I really thought, I was safe, how could I have been so naive.
Help me understand why
You've given in to all these
Reckless dark desires
I couldn't understand, why are humans were so evil? '' There's no need to run, you know that everyone will die at some point and you'll be helping everyone in the world. We'll take care of you,'' he shouted. I can't answer or he'll know exactly where I am. He started shooting a gun, each shot my heart nearlystopped, although I knew, he can't kill me as that would destroy the purpose to find me.
You're lying to yourself again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the faultline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess. I don't want to watch you.
If I had a gun, then I could shoot him, but then they could search me legally that's why I'm not allowed to have a gun or knife or anything like that, but I carry pepper spray. But there's only so much I can do, I just hope he doesn't rape me, but he can't catch, he won't catch me.
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die
Iwas glad I wasin the city, Icould hide myself easily. I turned into another street, an abandoned building. I ran to it and I climbed up the stairs, I heard him clambering up the stairs behind me. ''Precious, just come down and we save can up all this energy on running. Don't you think that's a lovely idea, Precious.'' I have a name, I'm not a thing, I'm a human being, now I realise how animals feel in zoos, natural habitats, everywhere. I know the people want to protect me from the people who are searching for me, but they don't even think as me as a person. I just want to get away from here, that's all I wish.
Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence
I ran to the top of the building, what should I do, I needed to get to the roof, but I couldn't find the door , so I looked up and saw a faint outline of a trapdoor, so I stretched up and pushed it, until it opened and I jumped and pushed my self through, I was so weak, that I shouldn't have been able to do this but my fear listening to the man steps coming up the stairs give me more strength. I closed the door and I came into a large room, so I looked for frantically something to put over the door, a table, bookcase or something.
Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the faultline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, I don't wanna watch you...
I found a cupboard, but I wasn't able to move it. I had to do something, maybe he won't notice the door, I thought optimistically, but I knew deep down inside of me, he will find it as that's what one of the many things he was trained to do. I needed to find a way out, I looked through the window, I could jump, but I'll break my neck. I need a rope, so I can fasten myself onto and ease down the side of the building, easily.
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die
I give up, I'll jump, I don't care, nobody cares about me but I can't. Nobody knew what it was like for me to live a life on the run, never able to sleep easy, to be responsible for mankind. Why couldn't I live like a normal outcast teenager like I was before. I hated everyone and my parents especially for making me exist. I jumped , no scream, no fear, just pain, then reality struck that I was stupid and naive to do something like this.
They were right about you
They were right about you
Suddenly, I realised I had landed on a wooden floor. I saw 5 boys in shock looking at mein their nightclothes and it looked like this was their bedroom. It had to be a trick. I stood up shaken like an elder with Parkinson´s, coughing furiously.
Lying to my face again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it put it on the faultline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, Coalesce, Coalesce
''I give up, please, please...'' Then everything went black.
Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What's your hurry, everyone will have his day to die
If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere,
Do it somewhere far away from here