His Final Year

Chapter Nine: Taking Risks and Not Giving Up

James and Lily hadn't spoken to each other much since they patrolled that night. Neither knew exactly what the other meant or what made them do what they themselves did, but it felt as though everything had changed. Their friends had noticed it too.

"Ok Prongs, you've been in a funk for like ever! What's going on with you?" The Marauders were up in their dorm, trying to figure out what was wrong with James and if they could cheer him up. He just shrugged.

"A few weeks ago, when Lily and I went patrolling, something happened." He sighed and sat on Sirius's bed. "We were near the Great Hall…"

"Lily, sweetie what's wrong? You seem really down." Alex was rubbing Lily's arm while Mel tried to talk to her.

"Come on hunny talk to us. We're worried about you." Mel kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hand.

Lily nodded. "Well, a few weeks ago, James and I were patrolling and…"

"You almost kissed her?" Sirius was freaking out. "What the hell do you mean? And she pulled away from you?"

James sighed and Remus glared at Sirius. "Ok, Padfoot you're really not helping this at all." Sirius sat back down next to James.

"Sorry Prongs. I'm just…really surprised."

James sighed again. "What am I supposed to do you guys? I tired so hard to be her friend and it worked! She and I got along so much better than I ever thought we would. And I ruined it. Uhh!" He stood up and ran a hand through his hair.

"He almost kissed you! Like really kiss you? And you pulled away from him?" Mel was hugging Lily tightly as Alex was trying to comprehend everything. Lily nodded.

"I didn't even see it coming. He just hugged me and…oh god this is so wrong!"

Mel kissed the top of her head. "Sweetie it's ok. You know he's liked you forever."

Alex grinned. "Yeah he's asked you out enough." Mel chuckled and Lily smiled slightly. Alex squeezed her hand. "Lily…did you want to kiss him?"

Lily just stared at her friend. "I don't know. And that's what scares me guys. I just…god everything was so great with him. We were getting close, he was so great, I felt like nothing was wrong…and then it just happened." She paused almost as if she were struggling to go on. "I think I might have. I just felt so special with him, like I was something so important. And his hugs…he's so great. I just don't know. I mean, I've hated him forever and now I like him? That's not how anything works."

"Lily relationships are scary." Alex scoffed and said something under her breath that sounded like "not enough guts with Remus" which Mel ignored, "But it's a risk. One you might benefit from."

Alex nodded. "He does care about you Lily. Everyone knows that. It's easy to see you matter to him."

"But it's James Potter. He has a new girl every week. I don't want to have to worry about him and if he'll do something." She paused again. "I think I'm falling for him guys. And I don't know if I want to. I don't know if I want to fall in love with him. If it doesn't work out…he might be one of those guys that you can't let go."

Both of the girls stared at Lily. Mel finally spoke up. "Lily, maybe James is one of those guys you can't let go. Maybe he won't let you go. So don't let him go."

Alex nodded. "Seriously Lily. James just might be a guy you have to risk. You never know what'll happen. It might turn out to be something you can't live without. He might be something you can't live without."

Lily smiled and hugged her friends.

"James, I know this is hard and you might get pissed at me…but are you positive Lily's like 'the girl'? We've all dated and slept with girls I mean…is she really more special than any other girl?"

Remus just sighed, hoping this would turn out better than he thought it would. James leaned against the wall and stared at Sirius. "I know. Put together the Marauders have dated more than 75 of the girls at this school. But they don't last. I want Lily and I to last. She's why no one else has lasted. She's why I've never told a girl I loved her. She's why I've never…" He paused and looked down. Remus just waited, unsure of what his friend meant. Sirius on the other hand, seemed to put something together that Remus hadn't.

"Do you mean…are you saying…you haven't slept with anyone?" Remus and Sirius both just stared at James nodded his head.

"I always wanted my first time to be with Lily on our wedding night. I know it's a stretch, but I've always hoped it would be that way, and I know Lily wouldn't ever just do it unless she was in love. So, I don't know, I always wanted it to be the first time for both of us."

Remus and Sirius just stared at him. He looked down at his feet again, feeling embarrassed. No one said anything until Sirius stood up and grabbed James by the shoulder.

"Don't give up on her James." James looked up and locked eyes with him. "I mean it…don't you ever give up on Lily Evans. You'll never forgive yourself if you do."

Remus stood up and walked over to his friends. "Seriously James. If you love her so much, don't let her go. You both will regret it forever."

James smiled the first real smile he had in a long time.