Okay, okay people...I know I'm sucha horrible person for making a bigcliffhanger to tantalize you, but I'm just evil like that ( go ask Rose Stetson if you don't believe me. She's getting angry that all of you love me more than her, so go review her stories before she hurts me and I NEVER finish J & S Vs. BBC. She lives on my floor about 20 feet away, and she lurks around my door at night...so SAVE ME!). Special dance cookies go to heavenly-vixen, sphinxy, scjon, and StarrGazer for correctly knowing that Ms. Tina Sparkle was from the movie "Strictly Ballroom". On to the story...hee hee hee hee hee...

"Yes, Jack?" Sam asked, setting her own silverware down. She was dimly aware of her heart pounding in her ears. If he asks what I think he's going to ask... Her mind could not process anything past this.

"We've been, for lack of a better term, "dancing" around how we feel about each other for a long time now. This competition, and even little Nicky, have really made me take a good look at what I want out of life. Now that the regs are gone and I can finally say this..."

Jack climbed out of his chair and knelt down on his left knee in front of Sam. He took a small velvet box out of his pocket and opened it. "Samantha Elizabeth Carter, will you marry me?"

Sam gaped at him. Yep...she thought. He asked what I thought he was going to ask!

"Do I have to wait another 8 years for an answer?" Jack quipped nervously.

"Ummm..." she said, drawing it out.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Sam!"

"I'll marry you."

He gave a sigh of disappointment, then his face lit up when he realized what she had said. "You said yes!" he cried excitedly.

"I know..." Sam replied, shaking her head.

Jack rose to his feet, placed the ring on her finger, yanked her out of her chair, and kissed her soundly. Just then, his cell phone went off. "Crap!" he muttered. Reaching into his pants pocket, he looked at the caller. "It's Daniel!" he said, sounding surprised. "Hello?"

"Hey Jack, it's me, Daniel. I just wanted to tell you that we're almost in the hotel parking lot now."

"Hey Danny Boy...Sam and I have some news."

"What's that?"

"We're getting married..."

"Finally!" Daniel crowed. His passengers, Teal'c and Jacob Carter gave him odd looks.

"Tonight..." Jack finished.

"Whoa...guess you're not waiting around then..." Daniel finished weakly.

"We'd like you and T to be there."

Looking at the man sitting next to him, Daniel said, "Um Jack? You might want to plug this into the phone so we can use speaker phone...Sam knows how to do it."

He heard the phone being handed off, then Sam came on. "Hey guys!"

"Um, Sam, say hi to your dad, too..."

Sam was beyond shocked. "Dad! What are you doing with Daniel and Teal'c?"

"I came to see you dance, honey."

"Well...I asked Sam to marry me, Jacob." Jack said hurriedly.

"WHAT!"

Daniel winced. Being that close REALLY hurt his ears!

"I said yes, Dad."

Jacob grinned broadly. The Pentagon was SO going to have to pay up!

"When are you getting married?"

"Tonight..." Jack replied, fearing his future father-in-law's reaction.

"Wonderful! Tell us where to be."

"There's a wedding chapel down the road...we'll be there in about 20 minutes."

"We'll be there too. Congratulations honey!"

Teal'c added his own greetings, then Daniel said good-bye and hung up the phone. Jack looked at Sam. "What's up with your father?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Maybe Selmak was running interference or something."

"We'll find out in 20 minutes. Anyone else we should call?"

They both thought for a moment, then they looked at each other and grinned. "Nick and Lena." they said in unison.

The phone rang beside Nick Kosovich's elbow. He and Lena were sprawled out on the sofa together watching "Singing In The Rain" and he groaned in protest. Reaching up, he picked the phone up. "Hello, Kosovich residence."

"Hi Nick, it's Jack...you might want to put the speaker phone on for this..."

He quickly pushed the button and set the reciever back in its place. "We're both here." he said impatiently.

"Umm...I asked Sam to marry me, and she said yes."

"Woohoo!" Nick cried in triumph.

"We're getting married tonight."

"Nuuu!" Nick howled, sliding off the sofa and falling to his knees. Lena cackled.

"We'll be there...where is it?"

A bemused Jack told her the name of the wedding chapel and she hung up. "Hah! Take that, Nicholas Kosovich!" she said smugly.

He got to his feet, pouting slightly and went to put a tux on.

Everyone was assembled at the Chapel O' Love at 7:30. Lena was looking quite smug and finally Sam asked what was going on. "Nick bet that you guys would be engaged by the competition tomorrow, and I bet that you'd be married."

Sam's analytical mind overlooked the fact that their dance coaches had placed bets on this and analyzed this statement. "What was the exact wording of the bet?" she asked.

Nick perked up slightly. "I said, "I bet you that they will be engaged by the time the competition is over. She said, I bet you they will be married". Why?"

Sam smiled. "Then actually, you both won."

"YESS!" Nick cried.

"NUUU!" Lena wailed.

Jacob came over. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Who is this?" Lena asked with an evil twinkle in her eye.

"My father."

"YES!" Lena said in satisfaction.

"NUUU!" Nick said, his face contorted in an expression of extreme pain.

"More bets?" Jack asked.

"Yep."

Daniel and Teal'c approached the group.

"Who are they?" Nick asked, his face taking on a very devilish smile.

"Team memebers...but more like friends."

"WOO HOO!"

"NUUUUUU!"

"Okay, that's enough! We're getting married here." Sam snapped and the Kosovichs fell silent.

Jacob proudly walked Sam down the aisle to Jack and Daniel took his position as Jack's best man. Lena was flattered when Sam asked her if she would mind being matron of honor.

As the ceremony progressed, Nick pointed up at the clock. Much to Lena's horror, they were pronounced man and wife at 7:58 p.m, 2 minutes shy of 8 o'clock.

She looked upward and closed her eyes. "Oh great ballroom gods, why have you forsaken me?" she whispered.

Nick was beaming. It never hurt to play both sides of the fence. "Congratulations, you guys!"

Lena smiled. Even though she had lost a BIG wad of money to Nick, she was still happy for them. Seeing her facial expression, Nick shook Jack's hand, kissed Sam on the cheek, and raced out the door.

"NICHOLAS KOSOVICH!" Lena roared.

Everyone looked at each other. "Is he going to die?" Daniel asked, oddly fascinated by the pair.

"Pretty much. That Lena is something else." Jack chuckled.

"So is Nick." Sam countered, rolling her eyes.

Lena cornered her husband near their car and the others came outside to watch, even the preacher. "Nicholas, I am going to KILL you!" she growled.

Deciding that deperate times called for desperate measures, Nick gave her his best smile and ran a hand through his hair. Lena groaned and turned around. She did NOT need to be turned on right now! "I am angry, I am angry..." she chanted.

She felt a pair of hands at her waist. "I'm not in the mood, Nicholas." she said. "Could have fooled me, Lena..." His voice whispered tantalizingly near her ear. He had even pulled out his full Aussie accent for this statement. She tried to escape, knowing she would not be able to hold out against his potent charms for long. He merely wrapped his long arms around her.

"Let go of me, Nicholas...I can't breathe."

His response was to pull her even closer. "Why? Because my arms are around you, or because my arms are around you?"

She turned her head to glare at him and found his face only a few inches away from hers. "I hate you." she sulked. She'd lost this battle to him and she knew it.

"I know." he replied, turning her around and kissing her.

"Is this some kind of strange Tauri mating ritual?" Teal'c asked. Daniel choked, Jacob coughed, and both Sam and Jack turned beet red.

"Ummm...not going there, T." Jack finally said.

Nick and Lena finally got into their car and they watched it drive away. Daniel's brow was furrowed. "Why are they going up on the hill?" he wondered out loud. Everyone looked at everyone else, then they all (with the exception of Teal'c) had a VERY disturbing lightbulb moment. "EWWWW!" they all cried.

"I just met these people!" Jacob shuddered.

"Me too!" Daniel cried.

"Yeah, well those are our dance coaches!" Sam said, burying her face in her new husband's shoulder.

"Ewwww..." was all Jack could manage to say on the subject.

Back at the hotel, Jack turned to Sam. "Your room or mine?" he asked suggestively.

"JACK!" Jacob cried, scandalized.

Daniel closed his eyes. "Mommy, make them stop..." he pleaded.

"Your mother is not here, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c informed him helpfully.

"I know..." the anthropologist moaned.

"Yours." Sam replied, a devilish twinkle in her eye. Another round of spazzing out came from her father and Daniel.

When the newlyweds left to go to a place that both Daniel and Jacob were trying VERY hard to not think about, Teal'c asked, "Why were you so distressed at Jack O'Neil's question to his wife?"

"Sometimes Teal'c, there are things you just DON'T want to know about your daughter..." Jacob replied, feeling another shudder coming on.

"Or friends..." Daniel added.

"I do not understand."

Daniel sighed. "It's their wedding night, T...think about it."

"Ahh, I understand now. I remember my own wedding night quite well..."

"TEAL'C!" both men yelled.

"How do...AHHH!" Daniel yelped.

"Bad picture! Bad picture!" Jacob chanted as if warding off some kind of evil spell.

You're telling me, genius! Selmak added.

That was uncalled for! Jacob thought.

"It is a natural desire...why all of this yelling about it?"

"Teal'c, we simply don't talk about it." Jacob said firmly.

"Yet there ARE many Tauri jokes about such intimacy." Teal'c replied, sounding more confused.

More groaning and shivering ensued.

"Yes...but joking about it and contemplating someone you know actually doing...well, I'm just going to stop right there before I have to short circuit my brain." Daniel said.

"I think I'M going to take a fire hose and blast mine clean." Jacob grumbled.

Yeah, well at least the memories will fade somewhat for you! I'm going to have to live with this forever!" Selmak added inside Jacob's head, sounding quite horrified. at the thought.

Ha ha. Jacob thought with satisfaction.

Oh no, Jacob...do not start with me, Selmak warned. I can make your worst nightmares seem like little children's fairy tales.

"We should really get to bed..." Daniel said.

They though about it for a moment, then the two humans shuddered. Bed was NOT a place they wanted to be right now. "Let's go to the arcade instead." Jacob suggested. "I bet Teal'c would be good at those shoot 'em up games!"

Daniel covered his ears. "No more bets!" he said.

"No bets." Jacob agreed. His fingers were crossed behind his back...

The competition is tomorrow! Frickin' chicken, I never thought this fic was going to wind up as long as it is. Thank you everybody for reading it! I will be posting an epilouge to it, and then I have some more surprises up my sleeves for Jack and Sam in another story I'm busily plotting as I tie this one up. Remember, hit the lovely button when you're done reading and tell me what you think...