This is it, people! (Well, almost.) This is the last chapter of Jack and Sam Vs. Ballroom Bootcamp, but I will be writing an epilogue, and I'm thinking of bringing Nick and Lena back in another story that Rose Stetson and I are currently hatching. Hold on tight-it's competition day! (Whoever can tell me the band who sings the song title I stuck in here will get some MAD props in the epilogue) Vid Z, part of this is for you...you'll know when you read it.
Some of the information about Nick in this chapter will lay the groundwork for the other story I mentioned above. Just keep it in mind.

Daniel woke up and squinted at the clock. It was only 9:30 in the morning and he rolled over. He hadn't gotten to bed until 3 in the morning and he was tired. Then, he remembered what today was; the dance competition.

He shot out of bed and found Teal'c already awake, and watching t.v. "What are you watching, Teal'c?" he asked curiously.

"A movie called "Shall We Dance?". I find it quite enjoyable." the Jaffa replied.

The anthropologist rolled his eyes. Great, another dance junkie! he thought. Just what we need!

Jacob was up when Daniel emerged from the shower and after the elder Carter had showered himself, the 3 of them decided to go find themselves some food. Opening the door, Daniel found a note tucked inside the morning newspaper.

Good morning, campers! The wife and I have a dress rehearsal at the ballroom where the competition is taking place until noon. The actual competition itself starts at 4 o'clock and directions to the ballroom can be found on page 4 of the paper. We hope to see you all awake and there! Signed, Happy Jack.

Flicking open the paper, Daniel and Jacob were shocked to find a full page story about the dancing. They were even more surprised when they started reading Nick and Lena's credentials.

"Wow...these people are GOOD!" Jacob said.

That's the understatement of the year...Selmak added.

"No kidding..." Daniel replied.

Shaking their heads, they put the newspaper inside on the table and left in search of food.

Janet Frasier was tired. She'd driven practically all night to get here so she could witness the sight of Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill dancing with each other. I should have just come with Daniel, Teal'c, and Jacob when they offered. she thought. It would have been so much easier! Cassie was spending the next few nights at her best friend's house and had told Janet that she was to take a LOT of pictures.

Pulling into the hotel parking lot at 1 in the morning, she'd gone to sleep right away and woke up around 9. She'd taken a leisurely shower, then headed to the Denny's across the street.

Daniel looked inside Denny's. "There's not too many people here!" he said with satisfaction.

Going inside, he took a quick glance around before his eyes caught sight of a brown haired woman sitting in a booth. "Janet?" he asked hesitantly. Her head jerked up, and turned to him.

"Daniel!" she cried, shocked.

Before he knew what he was doing, he moved over to her booth and sat down next to her. Teal'c and Jacob followed.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming." Daniel said, confused.

"I know...but then I thought that if I was doing something like this, Sam would come support me...besides, the chance to see Jack O'Neill try to dance is too good to pass up!" she chuckled.

"Actually, he took social dance in college..." Daniel replied.

Janet gaped at him and Jacob was even surprised.

"He took all 4 courses offered and was a student helper his senior year."

"Jack O'Neill? Colonel Jack O'Neill?" Janet asked faintly.

"Yes, except back then he was known as "Jon" O'Neill."

A waitress came up then, bringing menus for the 3 men and took their drink orders.

"So Jack dances...amazing." Janet said finally, shaking her head.

"The question is, has it been too long..." Jacob said.

"Jacob, you read the paper...the people that have been coaching them are world champions...they'd probably be able to do something with ME, even though I have 2 left feet." Daniel retorted.

"I believe you have one right foot, and one left foot Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said.

"It's an expression, Teal'c...I didn't mean it literally."

Their food arrived and for the moment, everyone was content.

Jack and Sam were pleased with their run through as were Nick and Lena.

"You guys will be fine." Lena said, sounding proud of them.

"Uh oh...Bazooma alert!" Nick hissed.

The others turned around to find the couple from the Army dancing and it was only then that Jack and Sam truly understood what Nick was talking about.

"Ack!" Jack said.

"Just wait until the Latin round...it's gonna get ugly." Nick sighed. "Especially with some of those costumes."

"We get the point!" Sam said. Jack just looked horrified.

"We don't have to watch them, right?" he asked hopefully.

"I'M not even watching!" Nick replied.

Lena punched him in the arm. "Behave!" she ordered.

"Yes, light of my eyes and joy of my existence." he said, rolling his eyes.

She punched him again. "Smile when you say that!"

Sam looked at Jack. "Don't ever say anything like that to me!"

"Oh believe me...I won't. I have no desire to get slugged!" he replied. "I KNOW you can still beat me up."

"Good...have to keep you in line somehow."

Nick raised an eyebrow and Sam had a very evil thought. "Besides, I just love a man in uniform..." she said seductively.

"AAAHHH! TMI! TMI! WAYYY too much information!" Nick yelped.

Jack immediately understood where Sam was going with this.

"Well that's good...because I love a woman in uniform..."

Both Nick and Lena shuddered. "Mommy, make it stop!" Nick wailed.

"Your mother's not here...but I am..." Lena replied, giving him "the look" she reserved only for him.

"NUUU!" Jack and Sam cried. "Bad picture, bad picture!" Jack chanted, sounding a lot like Jacob the night before.

"I'll give you another picture to think of..."

"EWWWWWW! I forgot how disgusting honeymooners are." Nick cried, sounding absolutely grossed out.

"Want a reminder?" Lena replied.

"EEK!" the O'Neills cried.

A man walked up, looking at both couples like they were insane. "Um, Colonel O'Neill? You're needed for your pre-dance interview."

"YES!" Jack cried, clasping his hands and casting a grateful look up.

"You're leaving me...with them? Sam asked, motioning to the Kosovichs.

"Oh don't worry...scandalization is not as much fun without both of you here, so consider yourself under temporary amnesty." Nick replied.

Sam's eyes narrowed. "How do you know about amnesty?"

He grinned. "Political Science minor in college."

She gaped at him.

"Yes, I went to college...as surprising as that seems sometimes." Nick said dryly, observing her look of shock.

Jack was seated in front of an interviewer who was a blonde 30 something woman who was looking at him in a manner that made him a little nervous. "So, Colonel O'Neill, if you were to describe yourself in one sentence, what would you say?"

He pondered a moment. "I would say that I am a simple, yet erudite man."

Everyone looked at each other, impressed. Sam, who had snuck up to listen, was shocked. "Erudite?" she whispered to Nick and Lena. Lena shrugged while Nick averted his gaze. Sam wondered what he knew that he wasn't saying.

"Wow...what a vocabulary!" the interviewer joked.

"Thank you." Jack replied with his usual charm.

"Tell us a little bit about yourself!"

"I was an English major in college with a business minor." he answered. Sam was again agape.

"Why go into the Air Force?"

Jack smiled. "I had to pay for my education somehow and joining the military seemed like a good way to serve my country and get an education at the same time."

The interviewer looked down at her pad. "I understand that you were married just last night..."

"Yes, I was, to my lovely dance partner, Samantha Carter...well, she's Samantha O'Neill now."

Chuckles were heard throughout the room.

"What does she do in the Air Force?"

"She's a theoretical astrophysicist who mainly deals with deep space telemetry." Jack answered.

"What! I thought he couldn't even pronounce that!" Sam hissed. This was getting really weird.

"I knew Jonathan was smart, but I didn't know you were as brilliant as you are!" Nick said admiringly.

Sam and Lena both whirled around. "What do you mean you knew Jack was smart?" Sam asked, giving Nick a glare of death.

"Ummm...I think I hear my Sith master calling me...gotta go!" Nick said, turning on his heel and getting ready to make a quick getaway.

"Nicholas Evan Kosovich, the Sith are fictional." Lena said, crossing her arms and tapping one foot. That was NOT a good sign.

"Okay okay...I'll tell you. Just come over here." he said, knowing that one, if not both of the women would pulverize him if he didn't fess up.

They made their way out into the hallway. Sighing, Nick said, "I'm an English major too, and trust me when I say that Jonathan is bloody brilliant in his own right...the man wrote his master's thesis on Deconstructing Nathaniel Hawthorne for crying out loud!"

Sam looked at him. "Deconstructing Nathaniel Hawthorne?"

"Yeah...and he successfully defended it too! He even has 3 honorary doctrates."

"From where?" Sam asked.

"Harvard, Yale, and Stanford." Nick replied, running a hand through his hair.

"Nicholas..." Lena said through gritted teeth.

"Yes, my love?" he purred. His accent was out again.

Though still in shock from the revelations Sam had learned about Jack, she had to chuckle at the Kosovichs.

Lena turned around. "I refuse to look at you!" she said.

Nick came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Please don't be mad at me..." he begged.

"Grrr!" Lena growled.

"Please? I hate it when you're mad at me..." Nick said in a pouting voice.

Turning around, Lena made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. She tried to glare at him, but it didn't work. "You're lucky you're handsome." she said, allowing herself to pulled into his embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm lucky you keep me." he replied suavely.

"Flatterer." Lena teased.

"Yep." her husband replied

"Aww, how cute." Jack said, walking over to them. He was done with his interview.

The Kosovichs glared at him and Sam had to laugh. Despite their zany and nutty ways, she had really enjoyed the time she'd spent with them. They truly were like another brother and sister to her now.

"You're up, honey." Jack said.

"We'll talk later...Dr. O'Neill." she replied neutrally.

Jack gulped and watched Sam walk away.

"I don't know why you didn't tell her, Jonathan." Nick said, releasing his wife and shaking his head.

Something that had been in the back of Jack's mind finally clicked into place. "Nicholas E. Kosovich...wait a second! You're the Nicholas Kosovich that wrote the paper on Edgar Allen Poe!" he cried.

Nick looked down at the floor modestly. "Yes, that woud be me." he admitted.

Lena raised an eyebrow. "Great...now we have two literary geniuses!" she teased. Both men's faces were infused with a sudden dash of red.

Sam returned. "Nick, they want to talk to you too."

He nodded and the other 3 came closer to listen.

"Tell us about yourself, Dr. Kosovich."

"Doctor?" Sam and Jack said in unison. Lena was the one who looked away this time.

"Well, I divide my time between teaching and competiting in ballroom dancing in addition to various excursions to the Far East in order to better study traditional Asian dance." Nick replied.

The O'Neills were beyond shock.

"In what areas did you obtain your degree and from where?"

"I hold a double major in English and Ethnomusicology and a minor in Political Science. My English and Political Science degrees come from Princeton and my Ethnomusicology degree and subsequent doctrate are from Julliard."

"Do you play any musical instruments, in addition to dancing?"

"Yes. I play 5 though I am woefully out of practice.

Lena snorted. "Don't you believe that for a second." she told a stunned Sam and Jack.

"The piano, violin, trumpet, cello and jazz drum set." he finished.

"I guess I wasn't the only one who had a secret." Jack said, his arms crossed as Nick came back over to them. He looked sheepish.

"It's almost showtime." Nick said hopefully, trying to divert their attention to something other than him.

"Nice try, Dr. Kosovich." Sam replied.

He sighed. "Look, I didn't tell you for just this reason...you guys have gone all weird on me now. My name is Nick, not Dr. Kosovich or any of that other academic crap they've labeled me with. I'm simply the same guy who loves to dance, make bets, and acts like a wimp when he loses to his wife."

Jack and Sam smiled reluctantly.

"It really is almost showtime, we have to do our exhibition, and you two had better go get changed into your costumes for the swing. Break a leg, people." Lena said.

"Just remember that win or lose, we're really proud of you guys and how far you've come together."

Everyone hugged everyone else and with that, Nick and Lena went to take their places for their Fox Trot. Jack and Sam dresed hurriedly and went to the wings to watch their instructors.

After eating "brunch" together, Janet had agreed to car pool over to the dancing competition with Daniel, Jacob, and Teal'c. "This should be fun!" she said happily.

Daniel and Jacob looked at each other. "Did you tell her about you know what?" Jacob asked in a whisper.

"Nope." Daniel replied.

"She's going to kill you."

Amen to that, brother. Selmak said.

"I'll worry about that later." Daniel muttered, trying to muster up some bravado but failing miserably.

Jacob shrugged. "Your funeral."

Been nice knowing him. came the voice inside Jacob's head.

Oh shush, you. Maybe he'll get lucky and all she'll do is maim him.

Either that, or he's going to make Ascent number 3 before the day is out! Selmak replied, sounding more than slightly amused at the prospect.

But they're in public! Jacob protested.

True...but when they're back at the base, he's done for. She does have VERY sharp needles after all...

Shut up, Selmak.

Make me.

Oh I don't have time for this. Jacob said finally.

They got into their seats inside the ballroom in time to hear an announcement being made.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentleman! Welcome to the special Armed Forces edition of "Ballroom Bootcamp". To start off the festivities this afternoon, we are pleased to have Nicholas and Elena Kosovich, 2 time World Smooth Champions dancing their famous Fox Trot."

Sam and Jack clapped loudly as their instructors took to the floor. As they danced, Sam was in awe of their ability. "Wow..." she whispered.

"Good, aren't they?" Jack replied, smiling.

"Uh huh! They turn so quickly and smoothly, it seems like their feet aren't even on the ground."

After a couple of other exhibitions, it was time for the main attraction. "This competition will be broadcast live on TLC and PBS and now it is time to meet the competitors. From the U.S. Army, Major Alan Ramirez and Major Tiffany Golden!"

A tallish Hispanic man came out with a typical tall, leggy blonde. Nick had to cough to keep himself from laughing. This was the "bazooma" girl.

"Here for the Marines, James and Cherilee Walker!"

A brown haired man emerged from the wings with his short, dark haired wife. They made an interesting pair.

The couple that had been sent from the Navy was Bryan Miller and Sandra Hanson.

Finally, the couple that a few people had been waiting for was announced.

"And last but certainly not least, representing the United States Air Force, Jonathan and Samantha O'Neill!"

"WHAT!" Janet yelped over the applause.

"Not here." Daniel hissed.

She fixed him with a glare. "You KNEW about this?"

Daniel sighed. Jacob had been right...he was going to die. "They got married last night."

If looks could have killed, Daniel would have been pulverized on the spot and his atoms strewn across the Milky Way and back again.

"Oh, I'll get you for this later Daniel..." Janet said in a deadly calm voice.

Looking heavenward, Daniel offered up a silent prayer that he would NOT be getting the physical from hell when they got back to the base.

"Taking the floor first to perform a West Coast Swing to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy's "Mr. Pinstripe Suit" are Jonathan and Samantha O'Neill!"

The audience clapped politely and Janet was stunned at how nice Sam looked. Then again, Jack was looking pretty good himself in a blue pinstripe suit. The routine began, and everyone was in shock. These two obvously knew what they were doing. The Candlestick lift was perfect with both Daniel and Janet marvelling at how effortless Jack and Sam made it seem.

They bowed and Daniel, Janet, and Jacob whooped and hollered. Sam turned red and Jack grinned. The others did well, but their lifts were shaky and not as strong and confident as the O'Neills'. There were also some rhythm issues, something neither of the O'Neills had to worry about.

"Jack can actually dance... and with that bum knee..." Jacob said, in shock.

"Yeah...I know." Janet replied.

The Smooth round was opened by the Walkers and they did a credible Fox Trot.

"You can tell Ivana was training them..." Nick whispered to Lena, rolling his eyes. She nodded in disgust.

Again, Jack and Sam were the shinning stars of the round with their Quickstep to "Let's Face The Music And Dance". Their footwork was dead on and for someone so tall, Jack glided easily across the floor. Janet was practically drooling at the sight of him in tails and Daniel was enjoying the sight of Sam in the blue dress. Jacob smacked them both and shook his head. Kids. he told Selmak. A laugh was all he got in response from the Tok'ra.

The Latin round was ugly, just as Nick had predicted. The Army couple almost did a Janet Jackson at the Superbowl when the straps holding the girl's dress up snapped in mid-performance. Daniel covered his eyes as did Jacob and Nick. However, she was able to keep it on and avoid a "bazooma bomb" as Nick called it. Those happened sometimes during Latin competitions.

The announcer said, "Closing out the Latin portion of our competition are Jonathan and Samantha O'Neill dancing the Rhumba."

Janet looked at Daniel. "The Rhumba?" she asked, puzzled.

He shrugged, and they turned their attention back to the dance floor.

Both of their eyes widened when the couple came out. Sam was working her little slinky red dress for all she was worth and Daniel was gaping. On the other hand, Jack was strutting beside her in his Latin hot pants and black cutout shirt. All of the women in the auidence, even Janet, were whistling and catcalling him. Typical of Jack, he gave them a small smile and they all sighed.

The music came on, and they both recognized the song as "The Look of Love". "Want to change the routine a bit?" he asked.

"Let's do it." Sam replied.

They started in their opening position of Sam facing away from him with her left arm outstretched and her left hand in Jack's left. He pulled her right up against him and their hips moved in unison. Everyone was beginning to blush and fan themselves. When the words of the song got to "Let's take a lover's vow and seal it with a kiss," Jack took the opportunity to kiss her, right in front of everyone.

Nick turned to Lena. "They're changing the routine!" he said excitedly.

"I know." she replied.

They watched with great interest as the Rhumba proceeded to get more and more steamy with each passing second. Several people had to hold on to the railing for support when Jack took his hand and ran it from Sam's knee to her hip and let his hand linger there. Their hip twists were something to behold and the Alemana turns were clean and precise.

Daniel and Janet had averted their gazes long ago, only glancing up occasionally then looking back down again. Seeing their friends like that was a little more eye opening than they had anticipated! Jacob's eyes were firmly shut and he was NOT looking!

Oh come on...just one peek? Selmak begged.

NO! Jacob replied vehemently. That's my daughter!

Spoilsport. Selmak pouted.

Jacob called to mind a nasty mental image.

ARGH! Stop! You made your point! Selmak cried.

Be quiet then. Jacob thought.

The competition was over and no one was overly surprised when Sam and Jack won by a large margin. They were presented with a nice looking trophy and were having their pictures taken when a woman called, "Jon!"

Jack looked around in puzzlement and spotted a woman waving and grinning at him.

"Kerry!" he cried.

"Hey Jon." the man beside her said good-naturedly.

"Ted!"

A tall boy in his 20's came and stood next to the couple, who were obviously his parents. "Hey Uncle Jon...long time no see." he joked good naturedly.

"Jonny!"

The three of them came forward and embraced Jack one at a time.

Turning, Jack brought Sam forward.

"Well, as you know, this is my wife Sam."

They grinned.

"Sam, this is Kerry Harrison, my former dance partner in college."

"Pleased to meet you, Sam...Jon's talked a lot about you the past few years." Kerry said, her eyes twinkling.

Jack gave Kerry a mock glare. "This is her husband, Ted, my former roommate."

"Hi Sam." Ted replied, shaking her hand warmly.

"And last but not least, this is their son, Jonny."

Jonny said hello shyly and shook her hand.

They exchanged pleasentries for a few minutes until another cry of "Uncle Jonathan!" was heard and the Harrisons told Jack they would send him a letter in a few days.

It was Nicky. The boy raced forward and Jack scooped him up into a tight hug.

"You danced great! I only got to see the first two dances 'cause Mummy said I wasn't old enough to see the last one." he said.

"I'm not sure I was old enough to witness that." Raddeus teased, walking quickly up after his son.

Jack and Sam both flushed red and Nicky gave his father a reprimanding look.

"Be nice." he admonished.

All of the adults were chuckling at this, and Nicky beamed happily.

"So you got married, did you?" Sariah asked.

Nicky's eyes widened. "When?" he demanded.

"Last night." Jack replied without thinking.

The little boy's face looked like a thunder cloud. "You got married without me?" he said.

"Uh oh..." Jack whispered.

Just then, an angry looking Janet came up with Daniel and Jacob in hot pursuit. Teal'c was slowly making his way through the crowd.

"Samantha Cart...O'Neill..." she began.

Sam thought quickly.

"Yes Nicky, we did get married last night, but we want to have another ceremony because one of my best friends didn't get to be there last night either...you can come to this one, and you can even be the ring bearer! How's that?"

Nicky still looked slightly unhappy but nodded reluctantly while Janet was still giving her a "you're going to hear about this later" look.

"Come on Nicky...can't you smile? I'm sad when you don't smile." Jack told him, sticking out his bottom lip.

Nicky finally giggled and Jack grinned at him. "There's my smile. Down you go, little man."

The boy ran over to his parents and was carried off. Nick and Lena descended upon them and many hugs were exchanged.

"You were brilliant!" Nick said.

"Especially that Rhumba! Where did you learn those alternate moves?" Lena asked.

Nick looked away and started whistling the Funeral March. Lena gave him a glare. "Nicholas..."

He smiled at her and ran a hand through his hair. She sighed, rolling her eyes and leaned against him. He put an arm around her and rested his chin on top of her head lightly for a moment.

A photographer came forward. "Nicholas, Jonathan! Can I get a picture of the two of you together?"

The men looked at each other, then nodded. They stood side by side, Nick still in his Fox Trot costume and Jack still wearing his Latin finery. There were several others who jumped on the opportunity bandwagon and snapped shots of the two men.

Then, much to their surprise, some women wanted their autographs. They signed a few until they got warning glances from their wives and said they had to go. The women groaned but as Nick whispered to Jack, making the wife angry was BAD!

Janet had calmed down a little bit, but was still irked that she hadn't been there. Daniel had given up trying to make her see reason, and Jack was beginning to think that perhaps a few weeks with the Kosovichs might be a good thing for them too,

Jacob had slipped away to make a VERY important phone call.

"Hello, General Hammond."

"George, it's Jacob...They won the competition AND they got married!"

"YEE HAW!" the general yelled. Sgt. Harriman came in, wondering what was going on. General Hammond was sitting at his desk with a grin a galaxy wide. He looked up, and made a counting money gesture. The soldier's face fell.

Once he was off the phone with Jacob, General Hammond rushed outside his office and got on a bullhorn. "Okay people, Jack and Sam won the competition AND got married! Pay up!"

Groans were heard all over the SGC as various people dragged forward to pay the General what he was due. Once he'd collected, an even wider grin spread over his face. "I haven't even called the Pentagon yet!"

Okay...just the epilogue remains, and that's that people!