Till Next Year

Retracing the steps she had taken every day for seven nights now, Lily made her way carefully through the castle, walking purposefully towards the hospital wing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, all the while putting an ear out for potential tell-tale sounds of the bothersome caretaker and his equally nosy cat. She was anxious to get to her destination, though it was highly unlikely that he will wake up when she was there.

I'm coming, James. Wait for me… she called out silently to her quarry.

She reached the doors that separated her with the young man with messy jet-black hair and hazel eyes hidden behind his wire-rimmed glasses, and the only person who held her heart, but no one, not even her friends, and James himself, knew that. No, Lily was a person with a very guarded heart, lest she should fall prey to heartaches, though her heart was now exposed and running wild with all sorts of emotions Lily was trying to control, but had now failed, and wasn't even trying to contain them. The reason was simple: James had been unconscious for the past seven days, and the worst part was, that if this kept up, there won't be any more hope left for his revival.

The doors opened with the slightest creak as she let herself in as discreetly as possible. She didn't want Madam Pomfrey to shoo her back to Gryffindor Tower after she had sneaked all the way from the Tower. She wanted to see James. She wanted… to be with James. Was that too much to ask? She thought not, but Madam Pomfrey might think otherwise. Lily had to give her credit that she really looked after her patients well, but sometimes to the extent where visitors were absolutely forbidden.

She quickly located James's bed. Even by the faint moonlight provided by the half-moon shining through the windows, she was able to identify his messy hair, his peaceful face, and most importantly, his aura which, somehow, connected her to him. It was so special, the bond between them. Lily felt completed, yet sorrowful at her beloved's condition. She was only slightly heartened that his chest was still rising and falling steadily, but otherwise, James gave no sign of life.

If it hadn't been for Quidditch, Lily thought sadly as she seated herself in a chair next to James's bed and took his hand, stroking it tenderly while she gazed upon his face. He loved it so much, yet it was going to be the death of him. She could see it in his eyes as he chased after the Quaffle held by Chasers of the opposite team and scoring time after time during the matches, especially against Slytherin. Even during practise, during the few times she went down the pitch for a walk and saw the Gryffindor team practising, she knew, without knowing how, that Quidditch and Chasing was part of James's life which could never be taken away by anything or anyone. And since he had chosen the joys of Quidditch, he must, of course, accept the consequences of Quidditch too: getting hurt badly if he wasn't careful enough with those killer Bludgers flying around the pitch. Throw in a couple of dirty opposition Slytherin beaters out for his blood for scoring so many goals, plus the many insults and pranks James had undoubtedly favoured them with, and here he was, lying in the God forsaken hospital wing for a straight week without recovering consciousness even once.

Something wet rolled down Lily's cheeks silently, and only when Lily raised a hand to wipe them away did she know that she was crying. James couldn't die. It wasn't fair… Madam Pomfrey had said that James would wake up by a day's time when they first brought him in after the last match against Slytherin on Saturday. One of the beaters on the Slytherin team had hit the Bludger at him when he was too busy training his eyes on the Gryffindor Seeker, who was diving neck to neck with the Slytherin Seeker for the small fluttering Golden Snitch that would earn the Seeker's team an extra hundred and fifty points and end the game. So James hadn't really heard or seen the Bludger flying his way until it was too late. A sickening thud resonated in Lily's head as it made contact with James's skull. He was knocked out instantly, and fell off the broom from an altitude of thirty metres off the ground. Had it not been for her Impedimenta spell, as the rest of the stadium's attention was focused on the two Seekers, he would have been dead from the fall. Then she had run all the way down onto the pitch just as the Gryffindor Seeker snatched the tiny ball from right under the Slytherin Seeker's nose.

Wasting no time, she had levitated James to the Hospital Wing immediately. Madam Pomfrey had assured her that though it was quite a serious concussion, she had been able to patch him up nicely, and that he should be waking up in an hour or two, or latest by twenty four hours. Relieved, she drew up the very chair she was sitting in right now, and waited… waited… waited… She had just realised then that she needed to tell him how she felt about him. She might not get another chance to tell him again, if she did not seize the moment and live it. What if he had died from that stupid Bludger attack and his subsequent fall? What if she never got the chance to tell him that she loved him with every fibre of her being? What if he had died thinking that she still hated him? For once, Lily Evans had opted to follow her heart instead of her brain. She knew the risks she was taking, that James might not feel the same way, that he was only playing along with her hard-to-get game, and would dump her at the first available opportunity, and that he would simply laugh her feelings off as absurd. But no, he wasn't that type of person. James wasn't a bad boy, a playboy. It just wouldn't be like Lily to date that kind of boys. James was different, he was special, he was good, and he just… completed her divinely, body, heart and soul. He was the one.

But would he ever wake up? Lily thought despairingly, tears spilling afresh. She had waited futilely for the first day, until Madam Pomfrey had to chase her off to bed, along with the Marauders, who stayed by James's bedside long after the rest of the Gryffindor team left. The Marauders and the team had turned up once they were able to get away from the other students, and, because of James's condition, no one had the heart or the spirit to organise the traditional Gryffindor team victory party in the Common Room. It just wasn't the same without their best Chaser, and besides, it would be an insult to James if they were celebrating while he was lying in the hospital wing, knocked out, possibly for good. In less than two hours after her 'exile' from the hospital wing, she returned, finding it difficult to sleep when all she could think of was James, and how pale his once mischievous face was, and the thought that she might never see him alive again.

Oh God, if she should never see him alive again! He would never know how she felt about him. How could she live that down?

The thought scalded her and rubbed her already breaking nerves raw. She tried to stop her tears from falling, but they just won't hold back. "James…" she whispered pleadingly, "James… please… just wake up… please, I'll do anything… I promise… please, James, don't leave me alone… I need you…" Out of her last wits, she began shaking James ever so slightly, begging him to respond. "I'll do anything… anything you want me to… just wake up… Don't die on me… please, James… please…"

And then, a slight movement caught her attention. Yes! James was moving! He was tossing restlessly in his bed. Finally, he was showing some sign of life! Lily was overjoyed as she pushed his locks away from his face and muttered over and over again, "Yes, James, come back, please. Come back to me… I need to tell you…"

But then, James's inaudible mumbling grew louder, and Lily was beginning to make sense of some of his unintelligible words. She was astonished that he was actually having a nightmare. "No… not them… Lily, run! NO, NOT LILY! NO!" James screamed loudly into the night. Lily had to cover her ears from the piercing shriek. She had to wake him up.

This time, she shook him roughly. No matter what it took, he had to get up, and away from that dreadful dream, whatever it is. She would make him. "James, wake up," she called the thrashing teen on the bed as she attempted to shake him out of slumberland. After a few minutes of struggle, his eyelids flew open, revealing the hazel orbs that had always bewitched Lily. However, they were not filled with mischief or affection this time. It was filled with raw fear.

On perceiving his beloved, James forgot that she "didn't really like him", forgot, even, that she "wouldn't go out with him if it were a choice between him and the Giant Squid". All he knew was that Lily was there. He pulled Lily into his arms with what strength he had, and hugged her tight, like she would disappear any moment now if he didn't hold her. "Oh Merlin, Lily… I thought… I thought… the dream was so real…"

"Shh… Shh, James… Calm down… it wasn't real… it was just a dream…" she soothed him with a low voice, rubbing small circles on his back, though her cheeks were flaming from his touch. He seemed to relax his grip on her ever so slightly, but not enough for her to slip away. She had to fetch the nurse for a check-up on James. "Let me get Madam Pomfrey… She'll be thrilled that you're awake… after so long…"

She made to squirm out of his embrace, but James appeared alarmed and drew her back in again with apparent ease. "NO!" he whispered loudly in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "I'm not letting you out of my sight. Someone's trying to kill us, Lily!" His face was so serious and frightened that Lily was scared too. She knew he could only mean one person: Voldemort. But she had to get the nurse now, just in case James had a relapse. "James, look, we're at Hogwarts. Voldemort would never dream of breaking in," she tried to convince him, but secretly wishing that she could stay in that embrace forever. "Don't worry. And I won't be long. I'm just going to get Madam Pomfrey to check on you. I promise I won't be long." And without thinking, she kissed him briefly, full on the lips, before she untangled herself from James's arms and scurried to the matron's office.

James sat on his bed, momentarily shocked, which, considering the circumstances, was an understatement. Had Lily Evans, apple of his eyes, woman of his dreams, (and the list goes on), just kissed him? Tentatively, he reached out and touched his lips gently, wanting to be sure of what just happened, and was thus found by an anxious Madam Pomfrey and Lily. When Lily noticed his action, she blushed deeply and looked slightly away, but stealing glances of him ever so often.

"Ah, you're awake, Mr. Potter. To tell you frankly, we almost gave up hope on you. You aren't supposed to be unconscious that long!" Madam Pomfrey told him briskly as she bustled about, checking his temperature and peering into his eyes, prodding him here and there, whilst she continued gibbering. "Professor Dumbledore would be pleased to hear this, though I have told him time and time again how dangerous Quidditch can be… Why doesn't he listen? I suppose he'll listen now. You were never that seriously injured before, and if you, with all your flying talents, get hurt this badly… unconscious for a week… there's no telling what those blasted Bludgers would do in the future. Goodness knows that I've got enough on my plate already without Quidditch players coming in with their arm slung uselessly on their sides or something like that."

Apparently she had finished checking James, who was thoroughly relieved that Poppy had stopped poking him, though he knew it was all in good intention. His eyes were never off Lily, and when Madam Pomfrey told him that he'd be fit to be discharged tomorrow afternoon, if nothing went wrong, she had to repeat herself a second time very irritably before he heard her. "Well, and as for you, Ms. Evans, I suggest you go back to bed. I don't know how you got in here, but you better get back to your dormitory. I won't like to write up on a Prefect, and Mr. Potter should not be over-excited. Besides, Ms. Evans, you look like you could use some sleep," she added kindly.

"Please, Poppy… Couldn't Lily stay?" James requested unexpectedly. Lily finally looked straight at him, surprised, yet strangely happy at his request. James, however, was busy trying to treat Madam Pomfrey with his famous puppy eyes, and, for all Madam Pomfrey was as strict as Madam Pince and Professor McGonagall when it came to patients, she couldn't help but be moved by such a personal request. Yet, she tried to stand her ground. "No, Mr. Potter. That is absolutely out of the question. You and Ms. Evans need to rest, not stay up all night together doing Lord knows what…"

"No, Poppy. You know that I won't do anything like that," he coaxed her carefully, then asked uncertainly, "Besides, it's a Saturday tomorrow, isn't it?" When both females nodded, he tried again, "Can't I, Poppy? I know I shan't sleep a wink tonight unless Lily is near… Please, Poppy, just this once? Pretty please?"

"Oh, all right," Madam Pomfrey summoned all the irritation appropriate in her voice as she replied in a would-be curt voice. "That is, if Ms. Evans has no objections… Ms. Evans?"

Lily searched James's eyes. Yes, he wanted her to stay badly. She could see it in his eyes. And, by God, she wanted to stay too. Now's the time, wasn't it? She'd promised herself she would tell him. "Yes, ma'am, I would love to stay."

"Very well, make yourself comfortable then. And if I hear talking, you're going straight back to Gryffindor Tower, Ms. Evans. Do I make myself clear?" The nurse said in her strictest voice, pointing her finger threateningly. Both teens nodded obligingly at the matron, who, with a last look at James, turned heel and returned to her quarters, muttering about talking to Albus to cancel Quidditch in the morning.

James held out his hand wordlessly, beckoning her forward. She didn't hesitate at all as she stepped forward and took his hand. It fitted so perfectly as his fingers laced with hers, bringing it to his lips for a gentle kiss. "Lily," he breathed. They stared at each other for a moment, drowning in one another's presence. James then lifted the blanket and looked meaningfully at Lily. Understanding, she slipped in between the covers and snuggled close to him, trusting him that he would be on his best behaviour. James, in turn, winded his arm around her, pulling her to him, and kissed her forehead.

"If I had known," James whispered into her ear, making her blush more, "that all it would take for you to fall for me was for me to get hurt, I would've done it long ago." Lily smacked him playfully, but then her expression grew solemn. "It isn't funny, James. You were unconscious for a whole week!" she whispered back, trying to keep hysteria out of her voice. "One whole bloody week, when Poppy said that you would only be out for a couple of hours, maximum a day." She shuddered visibly at that memory. "That Bludger must have been really rough."

"Nah… I think it was only because I turned at the wrong moment. It happens," James shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't worry. Loads of other players were unconscious for weeks anyway. That's Quidditch. You've got to be prepared for the consequences… like love," he added quietly, though it did not slip Lily. She immediately thought about her 'mission', or promise. She tilted her head and looked straight at James. "James, there is something I… I have to tell you."

Uh oh. This was not a good thing to start a conversation with. Is she going to tell me to move on, or that she… she already have a… a boyfriend he thought despairingly. He turned his gaze away, but Lily's gentle fingers cupped his chin and turned his face back to meet hers. "I don't want to know," he blurted out as a last resort. It was better not knowing, than Lily telling him outright. He didn't think he could stand knowing his beautiful Lily was going out with another undeserving male.

Lily was hurt, to say the least, but she saw her pain mirrored in his tensed expression. "I need to tell you, James. Please. I'm afraid I might never be able to do it again. What if you hadn't woken up today? I need you to know, so that, even if you don't feel the same way, I could carry my conscience to my grave." Still, James shook his head. "No, Lily, spare me the pain. If you're going out with someone else, don't tell me. I don't want to know. It's… better that way," he answered sorrowfully.

The redhead stared at him, then started laughing quietly. James didn't like where this was heading. Here he was, in another heartache, and Lily, love of his life, was… laughing? "Oh, James… if only you knew… No, I'm not going out with anyone at the moment. What I wanted to tell you was that I… I… oh screw it all. I love you, James."

Silence.

"Wh- what? You what?" James stammered out, hardly believing it to be true. Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled as she repeated the words he had been longing to hear. "I love you, James."

Hazel met green as both pairs of eyes locked onto each other. James broke the silence. "I thought you hated me." To this, Lily shook her head energetically to emphasis her point. "I never did, James. I never did. But sometimes you are so… immature that it makes me mad. But I never hated you. I couldn't." She paused for a moment, then continued speaking softly, "I'm sorry that I've pained you so often, James, but I couldn't… well… have someone who takes other people as jokes for a boyfriend, can I? It's killed me inside, not being able to tell you how I feel. And I didn't want to tell anyone, not unless I'm sure how you feel about me. But when you were unconscious for so long… I thought… I thought…" she faltered, her voice shook slightly as tears began to form. Tenderly, James brushed those tears away and spoke, "I love you too, Lily. I think I always have. I was so afraid, too, when I dreamt that Lord Voldemort was going to kill my parents… and you." Instinctively, he tightened his hold on Lily. "I was so afraid. I don't want to lose you. I've waited too damn long for this day, and no one is going to stop me from dating you," he declared with a majestic voice.

Lily shook her head, smirking at the young man who held her heart. "Well, I can think of a person who can stop you," she told him mysteriously. James's face fell, but he was determined not to fail in his conquest. "Who?" was the only thing that escaped his lips. She said simply, "Me."

James's eyes widened. "B-but… I thought… you said you love me, Lily… Why…" "James," she cut him off by placing a finger on his mouth. "I told you that I cannot date you only because you are still acting like an immature little kid…"

"Sirius acts like an immature kid," James mumbled annoyingly. Lily rolled her eyes again. "Yes, but I've no intention of dating him, haven't I?" James looked slightly happier, hearing this from Lily. "All I'm asking of you, James, is to prove to me that you've stopped your… irritating habit of hexing others… all right?"

James felt very happy now. Sure, the transition could be hard, but he could manage it. For Lily, he would. And he could do it, for he was the one and only James Potter. Of course he could do it. "If that's what you say, ma'am. Your wish is my command. I will prove my worth to you… and every one else."

Lily giggled. Finally, something was going right in this twisted, sad world. Damn that Voldemort. But even Voldemort would not be able to keep them apart now. "All right, now that we've got that sorted out, we'd better catch some sleep. I will have to leave here before dawn." James began to protest, but Lily explained her reasoning behind her action. "Just in case your Marauder friends come and visit you. We don't want too many people knowing just then. It's better that way. Sirius might want to murder me."

"Murder you?" James asked, curious. "Why on earth would he do that?" "Why, for turning you into a goody-shoe, that's why," Lily laughed as she answered him, as if it was most natural that Sirius would do that (not literally, of course). James smiled and kissed her. To his delight, he felt her kissing him back with so much passion that he was only too happy to match. It was such a success that James felt like jumping up and doing a victory dance.

After a while, they pulled apart. "We'd better sleep now," Lily whispered. James nodded, suddenly feeling very exhausted himself. Just before he shut his eyes, he heard her say, "Till next year, James…" He smiled secretly. Yes, indeed. I will prove myself to you, and then you and I will finally be able to date, hopefully before Halloween arrives… I await that day eagerly… and so do you.

– Finis –