Jack and I had another year after that day. Little things that had never
bothered us before started to. We picked at each other constantly. Truthfully I
think we were both just looking for a way out. We had begun to hate each other.

We had loved our jobs at the SGC, and because of the love that we shared we lost them. That made us start to despise, not only each other, but the love that we
shared as well. The anniversary of our resignations brought with it too much
bitterness to handle, and we gave up. We had had enough and decided to throw in the towel. I didn't see him again until Daniel and Janet's wedding almost a year
later. I think we spoke maybe three civil words to each other. Not typical
behavior for the best man and maid of honor.

That was ten years ago. I heard through Daniel that he got remarried in 2003, about the same time I married Joe. I was happy for him, I really was. I had worked past the bitterness and the hatred, and I guess that we just weren't meant to be.

I remember the day Jack and I left the SGC. We were cleaning our lockers out
with Daniel there saying how we would still see each other all the time. Well
look how that thought turned out. He was saying that now we could at least be
open about how we felt for each in public, when Simmons came in saying that he
thought we were pretty open about it already. To this day I hear the final words
he ever spoke to me echoing in my head.

"You should have picked me Sam, if you had none of this would have had to of happened. By picking that unworthy son of a bitch look what you've done." that was all it took for Jack to snap.

I don't know if he snapped because Simmons called him an unworthy SOB, or if it was because of his verbal assault on me, but Jack did. He jumped over the bench, the one I had tried to seduce him on only four years before, and decked him. I saw the way Simmons head whipped around. I bet he was sporting a black eye for a week.

Of course General Hammond had chosen that exact moment in time to come
wish us well. I remember his words as well.

"Colonel O'Neill, I would think you're in enough trouble right now, I don't think I would add assaulting a fellow officer to the list, would you?"

I've always wondered whether or not Jack believed what Simmons said about him. I hope not, because I never felt that way.

Maybe one day I'll have enough courage to ask him.

Those memories bring to mind the day Jack left me, for what would be the final time.

I stand here and watch him walk away. Before he started walking he gave me a hug goodbye. I wonder if that has any significance. Even with all the hatred he was able to say goodbye. However, that in itself frightens me. Jack O'Neill doesn't believe in goodbyes. I don't think I'll ever see him again. In a way it's a good thing. Right now there's too much bad blood between us, but at the same time I know I'll never love somebody like I loved Jack. Ours was a love that grew not only despite ourselves, but also in spite of all of the regulations we had sworn
to uphold. It was destroyed by those same regulations. As I stand here in the
doorway watching him get in his beloved jeep I can't help but think. He turns
and waves once more before getting in his jeep and driving away. There was a
bittersweet smile on his face as he waved, and I think that if we would have
waited a little while longer it wouldn't have ended like this. I don't think it
would have ended at all.

He did too-I could see it in his eyes when he hugged me
goodbye. Jack always said that I think too much. I always knew that with Jack
there would always be "what ifs", I just never thought they would be like this.