What I Need 5?
When I wake, it's late at night, and he's curled up by my side, sleeping peacefully. I brush his hair away from his face and kiss his scar lightly, smiling. He opens his eyes, and smiles sweetly up at me.
"Is it morning?" His voice is sleepy, and I feel a little pool of warmth in my stomach. He's so sweet, so precious…so mine.
"No, it's probably around midnight." I lace fingers with him, not wanting to let him go, though I know I have to. "You should probably get back to your dorm."
He sighs and presses closer to me. "I don't want to go."
"I know," I say gently. "But you still shouldn't get caught out of bed. And, "I sigh. "I don't think we should let anyone know, not just yet." I stroke his back with light fingers. "Believe me, love, I don't want you to go either."
He sighs, but gives me a smile for calling him love. "Can we make this work?"
"Yes." I say firmly. "We will make it work."
He smiles softly at me and leans up to kiss me lightly. It's a sweet kiss, a hopeful kiss, and I smile as he pulls away.
"I'll see you tomorrow?"
He grins at me and nods, standing to tug on his robes. I stand as well, dressing and unlocking the door.
"You'll have to give me detention more often," he says impishly, before wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning against me. "Like..tomorrow."
I kiss him lightly, smiling. "We'll see. Sleep well, love."
He gives me a brilliant smile and slips off, back to his own bed. It occurs to me that Lupin, no, Remus is waiting for me, and I curse softly and head for my room, hoping he's not upset. Strange, this business of caring for people. Who would have thought that I would be friends with Remus Lupin, and in love with a student, one Harry Potter. I feel myself smiling as I reach my rooms. Harry. Yes, somehow we'll make this work.
I open the door to find Lupin curled up in a chair, sleeping. His robe doesn't quite cover his wrists, and I frown at the bruises there. () I move closer, examining him for further injuries. There's a bite mark on his neck, and his lips are bruised and a little swollen. He's curled up in a little ball on the chair, thin face sad even in his sleep. I hadn't thought that he'd go back to his rooms before coming here, but apparently he had.
As I kneel beside him, he wakes up, blinking at me in a bit of confusion. "Severus?"
I smile a little, the happiness from before having given way to worry. "Sorry I was gone so long. Are you okay, Remus?"
He nods, sitting up slowly and stretching. "Mmm, yeah."
I sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought. "So, let's see." I catch his wrist, looking at the bruises, then back up at him. "He got upset again, but he was very upset when he noticed that he'd hurt you."
He flushes, and looks away. "Severus….he loves me, I know he does." He shivers a little. "Azkaban changed him, that's all. He's jealous that I spend so much time with you, worried that he might lose me."
"So he reminded you who you belong to?" I say harshly. I don't like Black. He was dangerous and irresponsible before Azkaban, and going there seems to have made him worse. He's a loose cannon, and I don't trust him.
He flinches at my words. "Severus, it's not like that…."
"Look at me and tell me that you wanted it, that he didn't practically rape you." Let's see how right I am, Remus. He did, I can tell. You're hurting, but you don't want to share. I know about pain, and I know about hiding it. You can't hide it from me.
He flinches again at my choice of words and I scowl, my suspicions confirmed. "Remus, he did, didn't he. He forced you."
"No." He shakes his head. "He didn't hurt me. I've hurt myself worse." He flushes a little. "And I can't say that I didn't like it…."
I sigh softly. "Then why were you crying?"
He looks down at his lap, his hair hiding his eyes. "I…he scared me," he admits quietly.
"Why do you stay?" This is an aspect of love I have never understood. How can one person forgive another so easily for things they otherwise would have been furious over? Black is overprotective, jealous and, apparently, violent. Not the kind of person I'd want to be with.
"Because I love him," he says simply, looking up at me. "I know it's hard to understand, but I do. And he loves me too. Normally he's sweet and kind. He just…scares me sometimes. He never means to hurt me."
"Maybe he doesn't mean to, but he does hurt you." I sigh, seeing that I'm not going to get Remus to leave Black. "You're welcome to stay here whenever you need to."
He gives me a little smile. "Thank you. I…I don't want to go back there tonight."
I nod and stand, heading for my room.
"Severus?"
I turn, cocking an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"How did it go?" He smiles at me.
I feel the warmth from before bubbling up and I know I'm grinning like an idiot. As I attempt to regain my composure, he grins at me.
"That well, huh? You two are back together?"
I nod, giving up on the not grinning like an total moron thing. Hell, I'm in love, I might as well let the only person I can tell know it. "I have no idea how we're going to make this work, but yeah, we're together again."
He smiles happily. "Good. You love him a lot, don't you?" His voice is a bit wistful, and I choke back the urge to go pound on Black for treating him this way.
Instead I nod. "Yes, very much."
He smiles and curls up again, and I head into my bedroom and slip into bed, thinking. This year Harry will graduate. After that, he won't be my student anymore. I know Dumbledore wants him to take the DADA position here. Perhaps then we can truly be together. Maybe there will be a future for us. And hopefully, there will be a future for Remus as well.
() See Ana's Snape Pics and the three page doujinshi (comic) that is Sirius/Remus. It explains what happened to him.