What I Need 8/11

As I climb the steps to the Headmaster's office, Harry trailing behind me, I feel a lump of cold nervousness settling itself in my stomach. Dumbledore must have found out about Harry and I. It is the only possible explanation for him calling us both to his office at the same time. Harry is nervous too. I can tell by the way he's fidgeting. I suppose that I have probably lost my job.

Dumbledore is waiting for us at the door to his office, smiling merrily. I should like to think that he wouldn't be so pleased about firing me, so perhaps he doesn't know after all. "Severus! Harry! Ah, do come in! I've made tea."

Tea. Always tea. But he isn't upset, which argues well for him not knowing. I take a seat and notice Harry doing the same… but not to close to me. I want him beside me, but if Albus doesn't know, then I'm not going to tell him.

"Well," the Headmaster says, handing us both our cups of tea, then taking his own seat. "I do hope you don't mind that I called you both up together. I have business to discuss with each of you, and I would rather like Severus to hear what I have to say regarding you, Harry."

Harry glances over at me and I sip my tea, remaining silent. This is curious indeed. Savouring my tea – good mint is hard to find, and Dumbledore always serves it correctly – I wait for the Headmaster to get to the point.

"First of all, for you, Harry. Sirius has informed me that he will not be returning as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor next term, due to some personal business. Alas, we have yet to have a teacher stay for more than one year. I do hope that changes next year, Harry, as I would like you to take the job." He smiles happily at us both.

I choke on my tea. Harry looks as though he's been hit in the head with a board. I stifle inappropriate thoughts at the way his mouth is hanging open, refusing to think of what we'd been doing last night. Confusion is oddly flattering to him.

"Now Severus…he'll make a wonderful teacher. So, Harry, what do you say?" Dumbledore turns twinkling eyes on my lover.

"Er…are you sure, sir? I mean, I wouldn't know where to begin." He sounds unsure of himself, very insecure. That tone is not one I hear very often. He has remarkable self-confidence.

Dumbledore gives me an odd look, making me swallow, though he's still smiling. "I'm sure all of our staff would be more than happy to help. You would return home until your 18th birthday, then return here to prepare. Sound all right?"

Harry grins at the Headmaster, brightening at the prospect of not having to spend the summer with his horrid relations. "Sounds great!"

"Then you'll take the job?"

"Yeah, I'll take it." I'm momentarily afraid that if the silly git I call my lover smiles any harder, he'll hurt himself. I snort into my teacup, earning odd looks for both of them.

Dumbledore nods. "That's that then, Harry. I have to talk to Professor Snape in private, all right?"

Harry stands, setting down his tea. "All right sir!" He nods to me briefly, then slips out, leaving me alone with the Headmaster, who's expression is suddenly anything but light.

"Severus," he says quietly. "May I ask what you think you are doing?"

I wince. He does know. So much for keeping my job. "I…can explain."

"He is your student." His voice is reproachful, and I feel my stomach sinking. Somehow, hearing the disappointment and hurt in his voice makes me guilty, and feel like a small child. Albus always was more of a father to me.

I sigh softly. "I know, Albus." I toy with my teacup, wondering how to tell him. "I cannot offer any excuses, and should you wish to fire me, I would quite understand. But…I am not toying with him. I – fell in love. I need him." The words spill out before I can stop them, and I examine the last statement with a feeling of surprise. I do need him. More than I had ever imagined I would.

Dumbledore sighs. "I will not fire you. Potions Masters are few and far between, and we need you here. Severus…I wish you to break it off."

My face must have betrayed the stab of pain I feel at those words, because he is suddenly watching me with alarm. "Sir…please…" I press my hand against my chest, finding it hard to breath. I was without him for far too long, and I have no wish to experience that kind of pain again.

He sighs again. "Severus…"

"When did you realize?" I say suddenly, grasping at the only hope I could see.

"About two weeks ago. Why?"

"Because we've been together since September."

That startles him, and he leans back, obviously thinking. "Three months?" he says quietly.

I nod, hoping I'm not digging myself into a deeper grave. "We have kept it hidden. No one knows beside you but Remus and Black."

If he's surprised to hear me call Lupin Remus, he doesn't show it. "How serious are you?"

I am quite shocked to realize that I can still blush, as my face flushes uncomfortably. I had not meant to discuss this with anyone yet, as my own plans were still tenuous.

Albus gives me a startled look "Er, Severus, you're blushing."

"How astute of you to notice," I snap, feeling my face burning.

Fortunately, he doesn't take offence at my tone, just chuckles. "Well, Severus?"

Well, I was planning on asking him about it sooner or later, just not quite this soon. Not until Harry had graduated. But seeing as if I say nothing, he'll keep feeding me tea until I'll tell him anything just to get to a wc.

With a soft sigh, I give in. Infuriating old coot. "I….planned on proposing," I manage to get out, all the mixed nervousness and fear attached to my plans rising up in me.

For the second time in the space of a few minutes he's staring at me like I've grown another head. It's beginning to get annoying. "Propose, Severus? You care for him that much?"

"Yes," I say quietly. I can feel the small box in an inner pocket of my robe where it's been for the past month. I'm afraid I've rubbed the velvet off at the corners with all my fidgeting with it.

I look up to see him watching me gravely. I did know from the start that being with Harry could cost me my job. I had not planned on my job costing me Harry. I had hoped that I would not have to make any choice.

"Well then," he says quietly, and suddenly the twinkle is back. "I will accept an invitation to the wedding. I am invited, am I not?"

I'm not fired. Marvelous. More years teaching the insufferable brats. Oddly enough, I'm quite delighted. "Actually, I was hoping that you would officiate. I think that's what Harry would want."

He nods a little. "I would be delighted to, Severus. Do let me know when the date is, all right?"

"Of course, sir. Is that all?"

"Yes. But, Severus," he adds as I stand. "Do keep it under wraps. If word of this gets out, I will have no choice but to fire you."

I bow my head in acquiescence, then step out of his office. As soon as the door is closed, I feel Harry's arms wrap around me from behind.

"Were you eavesdropping, Mr. Potter?" I say sharply.

"No," he mumbles into my back, his arms tightening around me. "He didn't fire you, did he?"

I smile and put my hand over one of his. "No, he didn't fire me."

He gives a sigh of relief, hugging me tightly. "But he does know." He steps around to look up at me. "I don't think I could stand it if you got fired because of me."

I smile at him wryly. "Once upon a time, you would have loved to get me fired, git."

He pouts at me. "Heeey…."

I just roll my eyes, and head past him, down the stairs. "Are you coming, or are you going to stay there and look like a fish?"

"Seeev!" He pouts more and bounds after me. "I am not a git!"

"Yes you are," I say patiently. "You're a silly git." I ruffle his hair.

"Augh."

"Quite."

TBC

Author's Note: For those of you on the SnapeSlash list, you may have already read this. Or at least, you'll think you have. But I have reworked all the ending chapters, making Severus back into his normal snarky self…or I've tried to at least. If I've erred, please let me know! I want to keep him as real as I can. . No Fluffy Bunny!Sev! It's not allowed.