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Points count for absolutely nothing.
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Chapter Six: Ravings of Gryffindor House
Evvy couldn't believe it. Her plan had worked perfectly-for once-but the results…the results were disastrous. Pansy couldn't stop talking about Damien (aka Ron). It was always Damien this, Damien that-and since Evvy was the only Slytherin who knew him, guess who got pestered with the one thousand and one questions. Evvy truly.
"Evvy?" Pansy leaned over and murmured to her.
"What?" Evvy snapped. She was trying to listen to Professor Flitwick's lecture on Hair Dye Charms, and she was sick and tired of all the meaningless questions that Pansy had asked her.
Pansy pouted. "Why are you so upset?"
Evvy rolled her eyes. "Do you not know?"
Pansy frowned and shook her head.
"Never mind," Evvy said. "Now what was the question you were about to ask me?"
Pansy twirled her hair around her finger. "What's the magic word?" she taunted.
"Please?" Evvy guessed.
"Right! Now say it in a sentence…"
"Please tell me the question."
"Good!"
"…"
"What's Damien's favorite color?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Evvy shouted. She slammed down her quill.
The class was deathly quiet and Professor Flitwick peered around his books to look at them.
"Girls?" he peeped in his high-pitched voice. "Is there anything wrong?"
"No, Professor," said Pansy primly.
"Yes, there is!" Evvy said angrily.
"And that problem would be…" he trailed off expectantly.
"That bitch won't shut up!"
Which is how Evvy landed a detention that night.
"Now Evvy," said Flitwick as Evvy scrubbed off the plates from dinner. "You are a very bright girl. I expect more from you in the future."
"Yes Professor," Evvy said through gritted teeth, and piled another plate on the already-towering stack.
Another downfall was that Pansy and Ron were arguing more and more during the newspaper time.
You would think that since they were in love that they wouldn't argue but nooooo, thought Evvy as she tried to concentrate on the introduction to her column. They wouldn't stop.
"I want to do the bit on Lavender and Dean!" shouted Ron angrily.
"But you're already doing Parvati and Seamus!" replied Pansy, snatching the paper. "I want to do this!"
"No I want to!"
"I want to!"
The entire class was staring at them as they tugged the parchment back and forth. Draco's eyes were like pendulums.
"I want to!"
"I want to!"
Rippppppppppppp!
The parchment tore in half, leaving a piece of it clutched each other's. They paid no attention to it; their faces were livid with rage.
"Now see what you've done!" yelled Pansy.
"What I've done? How about what you've done?" retorted Ron.
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"Shut up!" Evvy screamed. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"
They turned to her, shocked.
"Wh-what?" Pansy stuttered.
"Can't you guys just get along?" Evvy asked, giving her last bit of patience into that statement.
"Not with that idiot," said Pansy stubbornly.
"Not with that freak," Ron added.
"Ok," said Evvy. "That's IT! I'm SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ENLESS FIGHTING! EITHER YOU TWO WORK TOGETHER LIKE ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS, OR I WILL PERSONALLY GARUNTEE ONE FULL DAY OF SURFING!" She breathed deeply, and her hands clenched.
"You can't mean that!" said Ron.
"Oh, I do," Evvy said, her silver eyes flashing. "I do."
They shrank back and proceeded to work silently.
"I'd say you're just the tiniest bit annoyed," Blaise said, leaning back in his chair.
Evvy glared at him. He smiled.
….
The week of her being in Slytherin was up, and Evvy sadly gathered all her things into her trunk-except for her Slytherin robes.
She walked out into the common room, and looked around at the laughing people. She was gonna miss it. Besides, even though she had heard some bad things about this house, it still was great.
"Hey Evvy," said Blaise, walking up to her. "Where're you going?"
"To Gryffindor," Evvy told him.
"Really? A week's gone already?"
Evvy nodded sadly.
He frowned. "Hey, Draco, Pansy, Millicent," Blaise called over his shoulder. "Evvy's going over to the Dark Side!" (Which is quite ironic cuz most of the Death Eaters came from Slytherin)
They hurried over.
"You're leaving?" asked Millicent incredulously. "Why?"
"I have to switch between Gryffindor and Slytherin," Evvy explained.
"Crap, I had forgotten about that," she said. "Well, send those suck ups our love, okay?"
Evvy smiled. "I will."
"Gone already," said Draco sadly, shaking his head. "What a shame. Coughpartycough."
"I heard that," Evvy said, and slapped him on his cheek, as was her custom.
He just smiled and shrugged, as was his custom.
"Bye guys," Evvy said, and hugged each of them, leaving everybody except Pansy stunned. Pansy thought that because she was so cool, people should be hugging her left and right.
"Hey Evvy," Pansy said. "Wanna hear a poem about Damien?" Without waiting for an answer, she began.
"Roses are red"
"Violets are bl-""Bye!" Evvy seized her trunk and ran out of the room as fast as she could.
Once she was in the drafty dungeon corridor, she looked around and realized a crucial fact: She didn't know where the Gryffindor dormitories were.
Oh, that's okay, she thought brightly. I can just go back and-
"Lost?" asked a mild voice behind her.
She shrieked and whirled around, wand at the ready.
"My dear, that, I'm afraid, is going to do very little to me, very little." A ghost with a huge ruff was floating there, examining his non-existent fingernails.
"Holy crap," said Evvy, her hand against her chest. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."
The ghost frowned. "I beg your pardon?"
"You scared me half to death," Evvy told him.
"Now, young lady, death is nothing to joke about. I was killed with 47 chops to the neck with a blunt axe by a quite bad executioner. It's not something I'd like to repeat," he said grimly, and removing his ruff, swung his head onto his shoulder. It flipped off, though it still hung by the tiniest flap of skin.
"He didn't do a very good job, did he?" asked Evvy, peering closer at the transparent guts and gore that decorated the inside and collar of the ghost's neck-unlike most of the female population who would have:
run away, screaming
stared in awe and fascination, and poked it
smile sweetly
Take one guess.
"No, unfortunately, he did not," sighed the ghost. "That was not a fate I would wish on any one of my enemies. Though is it enough to get into the Headless Hunt Group? Noooo, I have to be properly decapitated-" He noticed Evvy watching him, and cleared his throat. "Sorry about that."
"Who are you, anyway?" Evvy asked.
"Nearly-Headless Nick," He stuck out a hand, and Evvy shook it. Or tried to.
The moment she tried to grasp the ghost's hand, it felt like a huge bucket of ice water was being dumped on her hand. The water felt so slippery that her hand slid right through it. "Brrr," she said, shivering, before she could stop herself. Then she looked up at Nick and added hastily, "I mean no disrespect to you, of course-"
Nick smiled faintly. "Oh, it's quite all right. My hands do get cold on occaision." Then he looked down his nose at her and said, "You're ever so polite. Much nicer than one of those boys in my house, Ronnie Wiely, or like that. He's always making the most horrid jokes about me being dead-"
"Ron Weasley?" Evvy asked excitedly.
"Yes, I suppose that's it," Nick said stiffly. "As I said, he's always making fun of me and such. Though he hasn't been doing it much lately, though one never knows. Oh, Nick never knows, never knows, never knows…" He sang in an eerie tune that sent shivers down Evvy's spine. He stared off into the distance, as though he was waiting for something, or someone.
"Uh, Nick?" Evvy said, snapping her fingers in front of his face.
He jolted, and stared into her face, looking startled. "Oh, yes, what were you saying?"
"You were talking about Ron," Evvy said pointedly.
"Right. Now, as I said before, he's in my house, and-he's not a friend of yours, is he?"
"Yeah…your house? You mean you're the Gryffindor house ghost?"
"Correct."
"Thank god! Where is Gryffindor?" Evvy asked, hopping up and down at her good fortune.
"Now, a Slytherin such as yourself shouldn't be prying into the other Houses affairs, though I do suppose it's what you do best…" He trailed off, then looked at her with a penetrating gaze. "Besides, it's none of Slytherin's business where our house is!"
"But I'm in Gryffindor!" she protested.
"If you're in my house, how come you are down in these drafty dungeons?" Nick asked, sweeping his arm about.
"I could ask you the same thing!"
He sighed. "The Bloody Baron, your house ghost-"
"I told you, I'm not in Slytherin!"
He rolled his eyes. "Fine, then the Slytherin house ghost, has borrowed something of mine, and I wish it to be returned. Happy?"
"Ok."
"Now why are you down here?"
"I'm the exchange student, Evvy. I alternate between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and I had just come out from packing."
"Ah, I heard about that. Though one never knows, never knows one…"
"Nick?"
He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Did I drift off again?"
"Yes."
"That is to be expected, of course. When one is doomed for all eternity in the living realms, they will dream quite often of life in the great beyond…"
"Doomed?" Evvy asked curiously.
"Roses are red,"Violets are blue,"
"Oh no," said Nick fearfully. "There is that wretched girl's singing again. I'm afraid I have no choice but to help you."
He plucked at her sleeve, and they vanished.
….
They reappeared outside a huge portrait portraying a rather large lady with a puffy pink dress.
"How did you do that?" Evvy asked Nick, fascinated. "I never knew ghosts could do that!"
"We all have our secrets," said the ghost, smiling mysteriously. "Have a nice day…" He floated off, and Evvy turned to the portrait.
"Password, dearie?" The lady asked kindly.
"Password?" Evvy asked, baffled.
"Yes."
"Hey Nick!" Evvy called.
"Hmm?" The ghost turned around to look at her.
"What's the password?"
"Limitulocus," Nick told her.
"Thanks. And I believe I may know where the Bloody Baron is," she told him.
"Why ever would I need to talk to him?" said Nick, looking confused.
"You know, he borrowed something…"
"No, he didn't."
"Yeah…"
"No." Nick disappeared with a popping noise.
"I'm afraid the old chap's got a bit of a memory problem these days," The lady said fondly. "He's been around for quite a while, you know."
"I could tell," said Evvy, grinning. "Limitulocus."
"In you go!"
The portrait swung forward, and Evvy gratefully lugged her trunk inside. A wave of warmth washed over her. She was inside a huge circular red room, with a fire crackling merrily. There were huge squashy armchair and couches scattered about, and little groups of students lounged about, talking and laughing.
"Evvy!" Hermione came rushing towards her. "You're here!"
"Where else would I be?"
"…"
"Never mind. So this is Gryffindor, huh?" She set her trunk down, and looked around. "Nice place." She plunked herself down on an armchair in the middle of a group.
One of them looked up. "Hi Evvy," said Harry cheerfully, his green eyes twinkling in the firelight.
"Who's that?" asked a red-head. She too had emerald eyes, and tons of freckles.
"Evvy, this is Ginny. Ginny, Evvy. Evvy's the exchange student," Hermione explained.
"You look like-" Evvy began.
"Ron, I know," The girl rolled her eyes. "You'd think people would get over the fact that I'm a Weasley, but noooooo," she said. Evvy looked at her strangely, and Ginny smiled. "Sorry, I'm just a bit cross. I'll get over it."
"Nice to meet you," Evvy shook the girl's outstretched hand, and her eye darted over to Harry. He was staring at Ginny almost fondly. She smiled wickedly; another pair to add to her growing list.
Harry noticed her gaze and motioned to her not to tell, making slashing motions across his throat. Evvy smiled sweetly and pretended not to understand.
"I'm Seamus," said a voice another armchair. The boy was tall, and had sandy blond hair and hazel eyes.
"Hey," Evvy said.
"Dean," said another boy. He was a Negro, with curly black hair, and sparkling brown eyes.
"You already know Parvati and I," spoke up Lavender from another chair.
"Great, I'm getting to know the entire group before I even unpack and get that memory I've been leaving about," said Evvy sarcastically.
"Perfect, another sarcastic one," said Parvati, shaking her head. "You're just like Ron."
"Speaking of which," said Hermione, tugging at Evvy's arm. "I need to speak to you."
"'Mione," said Evvy. "Can't it wait?"
"No, it can't," She said, pulling harder. "It's about that Potions assignment."
"Oh. OH." Evvy said, her eyes wide.
Hermione nodded fiercely, and hauled the girl out of the chair.
"Oh, um, yeah, I'd better go," Evvy said, catching on.
"That's right you'd better," said Dean. "Hermione's about to pull your arm off."
"That's just like Hermione, thinking about studies before socializing," said Harry, shaking his head.
"When she frees you from the Library of Doom, let us know," called Ginny after them.
Hermione grinned, and pushed Evvy up a flight of stairs.
"Ok, ok , you can stop now," Evvy hissed, and Hermione let go. "I swear, I'm gonna have bruises all over…"
"Evvy, this is more serious than your 'bruises'," Hermione said, looking serious.
"He's still raving?" Evvy said, running up the stairs.
"Yep. It gets worse every day. Not even Harry can stand to be around him," Hermione said miserably.
"Show me," she ordered.
Hermione walked down the hall, and ripped back some curtains.
"Ashley, Ashley," mumbled a voice.
Ron lay on his bed, looking dreamy. He had a notebook that had hearts and 'Ashley' scribbled all over it.
"Ron," Evvy said cautiously.
Nothing.
"Ron," Evvy said, louder this time.
Still nothing.
"RON!" She shouted.
"What? Ashley? Is that you?" Ron sat up, looking around wildly. Then his eyes registered Evvy and Hermione. "Oh, it's just you two," He lay back down. "Ashley, Ashley,"
"How long has he been like this?" Evvy demanded.
"Ever since their date," Hermione said.
"Hmmm…" Evvy smiled. She had an idea.
"Ron! Look! Ashley!" she shouted excitedly.
He sat up immediately. "Where? Where?" He said.
"Oh, she just left," Evvy said, trying to sound disappointed. "And she won't come back."
"Why?" he wailed.
"Because you keep talking about her. If you do, she'll never come back. But if you don't…" Evvy spread her hands wide. "If you're lucky, she will."
"Ok!" Ron jumped up, and smiled. "Who's up for a game of Wizard Chess?"
Hermione looked at Evvy, her mouth wide open. "How…how…" She was speechless.
Evvy smiled. "It's all part of my job."
"SO?" said Ron impatiently.
Hermione smiled, and they went downstairs.
….
"There, I've finished the paper," said Evvy proudly, handing Dumbledore a five-page newsletter with a flourish.
Dumbledore smiled at her and accepted it. He began reading, but his smile slowly dripped away, and his eyebrows went up.
"Well? Do you like it?" asked Evvy anxiously.
"Ummm…er….isn't it a bit vulgar?" asked Dumbledore hesitantly.
"Yeah. So?"
"I think you'd better redo it." He held out the paper expectantly, but Evvy just stared at him.
"Of course, they'll know all about it from their sex ed class," Evvy said. "So why bother?"
"Er…sex ed?"
"Yeah. You know, the class where you tell all the kids what they need to know…" Evvy looked at him.
"Sex ed?"
Evvy's jaw dropped. "You don't have sex ed?"
"No…"
"YOU DON'T HAVE SEX ED?"
Dumbledore looked at her, taken aback. Which is not something that happens often. "No. Why on earth is it such a big deal?"
"Then how do they learn about it?"
"Well, we usually leave it up to the parents-"
"THE PARENTS?" Evvy screamed. "They can't be trusted! There's a lot of things that they won't know. That they need to know! It's part of the school's job to tell them these things!"
"Excuse me, but-"
Evvy ignored him and continued ranting. "Where would I be if we didn't have sex ed in Durmstrang? Do you think my father would have taken care of that?"
"Er-"
"DO YOU?"
"No, but-"
"Just answer the question!"
"No, but-"
"JUST ANSWER!"
Dumbledore sighed. "No."
Evvy threw her arms in the air. "Exactly! So it's up to you to make sure these people know what they need to! Am I understood?"
"But-"
"AM I UNDERSTOOD?"
"Yes. But-"
"But nothing!"
"EVUMEIMEI SNAPE, LISTEN TO ME!" Dumbledore thundered, eyes blazing.
Evvy shrank back in her chair. "Yes, Headmaster."
He calmed down. "There is a but, Evvy. The student body still has no sex ed class, no matter how important it may be. So I think you do have to write it over."
"No way! We all worked hard on it, and-" She stopped suddenly, and realization dawned on her.
"Evvy? You're quiet. I sincerely hope that's a good thing," Dumbledore said, looking alarmed.
"It is," she said absently. "I just have an idea. Tomorrow expect a surprise," she smiled wolfishly to herself.
"Oh no…you're not starting your own class," he warned.
"No…better."
Dumbledore paled.
"No, if you'll excuse me, I must go," Evvy turned to walk out the door.
"Evvy?" Dumbledore called.
She turned. "Yes?"
"Are you always this persistent, or did I catch you on a bad day?"
"Always, Professor. Always."
….
The next morning, Evvy got up and was ready super early. She couldn't wait to see her plan in action.
"It's going to be a good morning," Evvy said to Hermione, rubbing her hands together in ecstasy.
Hermione looked at her suspiciously. "What did you do now?"
"Nothing, nothing." She inspected her fingernails, trying to appear offhanded.
"Evvy. I'm not an idiot."
"I know you're not. That's why you know I'm right."
Hermione made an odd spluttering noise in the back of her throat.
"What's that?"
Hermione just shook her head, and they headed downstairs with Harry and Ron.
"Ron?" Evvy asked curiously.
"Hmmm?"
"Why are you so quiet? It's starting to scare me," Evvy confessed.
"Well, since I can't talk about Ashley and she occupies my every thought, I'm not-" He clapped his hand to his mouth. "Oh no! I said-um, I said it! Please, PLEASE don't tell her! I'll do anything! Anything!" he wailed.
"Ok, ok," said Evvy. "Sheesh, I didn't know you liked her that much."
"Why shouldn't I? She's-"
Harry held up both hands. "Don't," he said firmly.
"Well, I know one reason why not," said Evvy, fed up.
"Yeah, right," said Ron. "Name it."
"Because she's-er, never mind."
"Told you so!"
Evvy rolled her eyes, and they entered the Great Hall.
They all sat down at the Gryffindor table, talking happily. There was a loud swooshing noise as all the owls descended, dropping mail into people's laps.
Hermione peered up. "It looks like the entire Owlery is here!" she exclaimed.
Owls dropped bright pink pamphlets in everybody's lap, and Hermione picked it up frowning slightly.
"What's-" She turned pale. "Oh…my…god…"
Ooh, cliffy! I know you hate them, but that's just too bad!
Maliaphire- Lol, monkeys! And thanks. I like the blind dating thing too. And the double dating's gonna have to wait a bit, I'm sorry to say. About five more chapters.
Emmasnape99- Yeah, you didn't get mentioned in this chapter either. Oh well. And no, I haven't. It's just a personal quote. Ok, I'll explain about the images. Well, one night, my friends and I were in a tent, and we all sat in a circle. We each got assigned out loud an emotion, and we sat there for a minute, rubbing our hands together, trying to picture an image of our emotion. Then we all clasped hands, and tried to perceive the person's image on our left's emotion, while trying to show the person on our right ours. I got the image of the person on the left's image 100 percent correct every time. I thought that was pretty cool. Don't you think so?
Zerrin of the Wind- It's okay that you took a bit. What matters is that you reviewed! Lol.
Degrassifan2010- Thanx for the compliments! And actually, I can't wait either. When I reread my story, I see it and think, 'I can't wait to see what'll happen next!' And since I'm the writer, I get to decide!
Syl Rose- Awwwwww…thanks…
Rachael- Button heeders! Yay! What books?
….
Ask Evvy's Crystal Globe
"Evvy. Tell me you did not do this," Hermione said, looking up from the pamphlet in utter disbelief.
She spread her hands wide. "I can't say that, or else I'd be lying."
Hermione's mouth hung open, and she kept opening and closing it like a fish.
Evvy smiled, and looked around the hall for people's reactions. Blaise gave her a thumbs up from the Slytherin table, as Millicent knocked her goblet over in shock. Ron's reaction was just like Hermione's; the fish mouth.
"Ah, what joy. I love it when people appreciate my work," Evvy teased him.
"What did you do it for?" Ron said, his voice strangled.
"Dumbledore said that the newspaper was too vulgar for the younger kids because they didn't know about it. So I fixed the problem."
Ron shook his head.
….
Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I thought it was pretty good myself!
Non-button heeders, beware of the punishment!