Disclaimer: Why, oh why, do these exist? I mean, if I was JK, would I be writing on here? NO! I would be publishing my work. But sadly, I'm not, though JK needs some serious humor in the books.
So…the saga continues of Evvy…
Chapter 8: Newspaper Blues. And the odd bits of Latin thrown in.
Hermione squeezed Evvy's hand in a vise-like grip, her sharp nails almost breaking the skin.
"Hermione," gasped Evvy, suppressing her scream. "Let go! They haven't even opened their eyes yet!"
She was right. They hadn't.
Well, technically, they had, but neither had looked at each other yet. Ron was blinking rapidly, looking like a demented owl, and Pansy was staring off into the space just above Ron's left ear.
Finally, their gazes swiveled to each other, and they locked eyes.
"Pansy?" Ron breathed.
"Ron?" Pansy gasped.
"No way," they said simultaneously.
"Ooh, we're in for it now!" Hermione under her breath. "For the record, I blame you."
"Shut up!" Evvy hissed. Then, louder, she added uncertainly, "Um, yeah way."
Big mistake.
Both of their gazes turned to her, and fixed her with a glare that could have peeled paint. Evvy blanched.
"Ok," said Pansy threateningly. "Who's idea was this?"
Ron, trying to be helpful, added a sweeping glare between Evvy and Hermione.
"ALL RIGHT!" screamed Hermione suddenly.
"Hermione?" asked Ron strangely.
"IT WAS ALL EVVY'S FAULT!"
"Hey!" Evvy said indignantly.
"Well, it was," Hermione said, avoiding Evvy's gaze.
Evvy was about to retort when she caught sight of two figures with murderous glares advancing towards her, and decided not to waste her breath.
Oh God, Evvy thought. Please, please, please save me now, and I promise you I'll worship you forever. I'll even go to church for once! I'll set up a private altar in my bedroom, and-
"You set us up!" hissed Pansy shrilly.
Ah well, Evvy thought sadly. It's too late now. But she proceeded to try and save her skin.
"Ok, slow down," Evvy said, getting up and backing away. "Just slow down, and everything will be okay-" A thump told her that she had hit the wall. "Okay, maybe not."
She put her hands over her head. "Please don't kill me! I'll explain everything!"
"Damn right you're gonna explain everything!" spat Ron.
"You knew from the start that we were enemies!" added Pansy.
"But you had fun didn't you?" said Evvy.
"Just answer the question!" Pansy poked her.
Sudden inspiration struck, and Evvy barreled forward. "Pansy, you were raving in love after the first date, weren't you?"
Pansy stopped, looking suddenly uncomfortable, and scuffed a shoe against the wood floor.
Evvy grinned. I struck a nerve, she thought. "And Ron, didn't you have to be bribed to shut up about her?"
Ron stared at her, then looked up at the ceiling intensely. Evvy was thoroughly enjoying herself by then.
"You guys had a great time together!"
Ron scratched his nose, and Pansy studied Evvy's robes.
"You guys had a ton in common too! And didn't you have a great time telling stories? And laughing?"
They were both frowning by now, and Hermione snickered in the background.
"Anyone?"
"Well, I guess I had an okay time," said Pansy timidly.
"Okay?" Evvy let out a bark of laughter.
Pansy closed her mouth.
"Ron, what happened to 'I'll love you no matter who you are'?"
Complete and utter silence greeted this.
Evvy took a huge breath and lay gasping against the wall. She hadn't taken a breath the entire time.
Finally, Pansy turned to Ron, tears in her eyes. "Well?"
"Do you love me?"
-Rons Pov-
Ron stared at Pansy, thoughts flashing through his head. He remembered their dates, how much fun they had, all the running and laughing. Their first kiss was that day. It had been snowing, and they were standing in front of the Shrieking Shack. He had leaned forward, and then…he remembered how right it felt, yet so weird. How weird that he could kiss someone that he couldn't see. But now he could see her. What type of fool was he to let go of all of those fond memories? He put her face in that blank spot, and he smiled. He knew what he had to do.
-End Rons Pov-
Evvy watched the two, breath caught in her throat as time stood still.
Ron stared deep into Pansy's eyes, and said one word.
"Duh."
They both laughed, and kissed each other fiercely. They were officially in love.
"It's so romantic!" cried Hermione, and burst into tears.
….
Evvy leaned back in her chair, content. The embers in the fire flickered and danced as she smiled.
Hermione came in and sat next to her. "Ah, what a beautiful day. Wasn't it so sweet? Back at the room?"
"No thanks to you," Evvy grumbled.
Hermione faked a hurt look, and Evvy shook her head.
They had left Ron and Pansy back in the Room of Requirement, snogging their faces off.
"Anyway," continued Evvy, "I'm thinking about asking Ginny to join the newspaper, so Harry doesn't have to work on the sports section all on his lonesome."
"Hey, that's great! You should!" Then her eyes narrowed. "Wait…are oyu trying to set people up again?"
Evvy looked at her with wide eyes, trying to appear as innocent as possible. "Oh no, Mistress Hermione. I wouldn't dare do such a thing!"
Hermione sniggered. "Yeah, right. You want to set up Harry and Ginny, right?"
Evvy dropped the look. "You caught me red-handed."
"So, what plans do you have?"
Evvy sighed. "None, at the moment. Besides asking Ginny to help, of course."
Hermione settled back in her chair. "Ok. I'll try to think of something."
"Thanks."
Evvy pulled out the list of people to set up.
Ron/Pansy
Harry/Ginny
Draco/Hermione
Millicent/Adam
Dad/DADA teacher
McGonagall/Dumbledore
She sighed fondly and crossed Ron and Pansy off the list.
"Hey, what's that?" said Hermione, leaning over Evvy's shoulder.
Evvy hurriedly stuffed the list into her pocket. "Nothing!"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Right."
"It's true!" Evvy insisted.
"I know you're lying, but I'm too tired to argue. I think I'll go down to the library."
Hermione exited through the portrait hole, and disappeared.
Evvy sighed and wiped her forehead. That was a close one, she thought. I'd better be sneakier in the future. Evvy peeked at the list again. The one after Harry and Ginny was Hermione and Draco. If Hermione had seen that…Evvy didn't even want to think about it.
She frowned. There was something missing from the moment. She had everything she needed, fire, cozy chair, plans of manipulation, friends.
She snapped her fingers. Friends. She missed her Slytherin friends. Blaise, Draco, Millicent, Pansy-though she probably wasn't available, all of them.
Evvy supposed she could go visit them, but…on the other hand, she had plans to put into action. After all, who was going to fix up the lovebirds when she was gone?
Evvy hurried out the portrait hole for dinner. Harry and Ginny won't be that hard; they're half in love already. They just don't know it yet. Now, it was just a matter of manipulation, a touch of love…and poof! We got ourselves a couple.
She rubbed her hands together in anticipation, and nearly fell down some moving stairs.
….
Evvy sat down on Ginny's right, rubbing her head. "Bloody stairs," she muttered. "What do they have to move for anyway?"
Still grumbling, she grabbed a hamburger and some fries, and filled up her plate. After a nice, long gulp of pumpkin juice, she wiped her mouth and decided to talk to Ginny.
"Hey Ginny," Evvy said.
Ginny jumped about a foot into the air and stuffed what looked suspiciously like a journal under her seat cushion. Blushing furiously, she turned around. "Hey Evvy," she said, still red. "What's up?"
"Well," said Evvy, swallowing a mouthful of food. "I was wondering if-"
Ron sat down with a bang next to her, looking utterly exhausted. "Food," he said hoarsely and grabbed the next thing and shoved it in his mouth. It happened to be Evvy's fries.
"Hey!" Evvy said.
Ron, too busy stuffing his face, didn't look up.
"It's no use," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "Boys. It's ALL about their stomachs."
Evvy grinned, and took some more fries. She shoved Ron, and while he nearly choked, she said, "Get your own plate."
Ron scowled sourly, and grabbed a burger, tearing a huge chunk out of it.
"So, you were saying?" said Ginny, directing Evvy's attention back at her.
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to help out with the newspaper. You know, so Harry doesn't have to do the entire sports section by himself. He's having a bit of trouble ironing out a few wrinkles in his articles, so I thought since you play Quidditch too, and you come from a family of huge fans of the game, you would be perfect. Unless you'd rather not…" Evvy took a huge bite and waited apprehensively for her answer. If Ginny agreed, it would be perfect for Harry's and her relationship.
"That'd be great!" Ginny gushed.
Evvy let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and took a swig of pumpkin juice.
"So when do I start?"
"Just go to the Room of Requirement after dinner today, and I'll start you up!" Evvy told her.
"Great!"
That night, everyone stood outside the room, and they waited impatiently for Evvy to let them in.
"Okay, you guys, Ginny's going to join the paper," Evvy said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione smiled, and Ginny gave a little wave. "Harry, Ginny's going to help you on the sports section."
"That'd be great! I do need a bit of help on it," Harry admitted.
Ginny beamed.
"Let's get cracking!" Evvy shouted, and they all ran inside.
Everyone took their seats, and immediately the usual arguments broke out.
"Draco, I told you to finish the article on Professor Trelawney yesterday!" said Hermione exasperatedly.
"There's nothing to write!" Draco yelled. "Whadaya want me to do, write 'She's an old batty idiot' over and over?"
Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "That could work."
"I was being sarcastic, Mudblood!"
"Oh, please! Like I wasn't?"
"Evvy!" yelled Draco. "Granger's starting on me again!"
Evvy ground her teeth and walked over to the squabbling co-partners. "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam!" she scolded.
They both looked up at her with confused expressions. "What the hell does that mean?"
"You don't know?" Evvy asked, pretending to be shocked.
"Uh…no," said Hermione.
"Ooh, look, you don't know something for once in your life!" teased Draco.
"Tum podem extulit horridulum!" Evvy said.
"What?" they both chorused.
"Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in temaculare!" Evvy sniffed.
"WHAT?"
Evvy sighed. "Ok, the first one was: I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head; the second one was: You are talking shit; and the third one was: Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you."
Hermione frowned. "That doesn't make sense!"
"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur," Evvy shrugged.
"Huh?"
"Anything said in Latin sounds profound."
"Why do you speak in Latin?" said Draco, wrinkling his nose up.
"Latine loqui coactus sum," Evvy told him.
They stared at her blankly.
"I have this compulsion to speak in Latin."
"Ok…"
"Latine dictum." Evvy said. (A/N: Spoken in Latin)
"Will you please stop speaking in friggin' Latin?" yelled Draco.
"Rident stolidi verba Latina," Evvy said stiffly. (A/N: Fools laugh at the Latin language.)
"You're speaking in Latin again," Hermione said.
"Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Inter dum modo elabitu!." Evvy smacked her forehead. (A/N: Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out!)
"WHAT?" they yelled.
Evvy just smiled and walked off. As they stared after her, Evvy thought, that sure took care of that problem.
Meanwhile, Pansy and Ron were making out in the back. Evvy walked over to them and slammed her hand down on the desk. They jumped apart, blushing furiously.
"Homo nudus cum nuda iacebat!" Evvy said slyly.
"What?" said Pansy, fixing her hair.
"Naked they lie together, man and woman."
Ron immediately turned red, and Pansy swiped her blush across her face, leaving a huge pink streak in her surprise.
"Evvy," said Rom weakly. "You really…"
"Oh, but I do," Evvy said. She walked away, saying, "Oh, how I love Latin!"
She went over to Ginny and Harry to see how they were doing. They were doing fine, but just for fun she decided to confuse them.
"Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure." She smiled mischievously.
"Er…come again?" Harry said.
"Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure," Evvy repeated.
"Why are you speaking in…whatever language you're speaking in?" asked Ginny, looking at her weirdly.
"First of all, it's Latin," Evvy told them. "And second of all, I said 'I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.'"
They all laughed, and Evvy sat back down at her desk.
"Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?" Blaise asked her.
Evvy looked at him blankly. "What?"
"Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?" Blaise said, smirking.
"Ewwww!" Evvy said, disgusted.
Blaise laughed.
"One, I'm not a boy, and two, Latin's my language!" Evvy said, smiling, yet still utterly repulsed. (A/n: You guys get it, right? Scroll, happy to see you, boy…get it?)
"Well, it looks like I stole it from you," Blaise said lightly.
They spent the rest of the time joking around, and once it was over, Blaise walked up with her to the Gryffindor Tower as they laughed and talked.
Once they were at the portrait hole, Blaise stopped. "Well, that was really fun," He said, brushing a strand of blond hair out of his eyes.
"Yeah," Evvy agreed. "I missed you and everyone."
Blaise grinned.
"You know, you're talking to me a lot more than you used to," Evvy said, frowning a bit. "Why were you so quiet?"
Blaise sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm just not good with new people, all right?" He turned abruptly and started to leave.
"Wait!" Evvy called after him.
He turned, his shimmering emeralds boring into her silver orbs. Her breath caught in her throat. Then he whirled around and left, leaving her standing alone in front of the portrait hole.
….
Today was a normal day.
Also known as, complete chaos.
Tomorrow was the big day, the day the first newspaper was going to come out. The room was a bustle of activity, with people whirling around left and right.
"Evvy!" Hermione screeched. "Malfoy's not sharing the stapler!"
"It's not Malfoy, it's Draco! Draco!" A shower of paper from the ceiling partly drowned out his voice. "You want the bloody stapler? You can have it!"
"Owwwww!" Hermione emerged from the paper storm clutching her forehead, which was steadily dripping with blood.
Evvy smacked herself on the forehead. "Hermione, hospital wing! Draco, don't throw staplers!"
"Sorry, but she was asking for it!" he yelled back.
"I'm choosing to ignore that," Evvy muttered. "And whoever's throwing papers, stop it right now!" she yelled.
"Peeves!" Everyone yelled.
"Tee hee!"
"Get down here, you friggin' poltergeist!" yelled Draco, and grabbed a nearby umbrella that had just appeared and brandished it in the air.
Peeves appeared, gloating and cackling, and blew a huge wet raspberry at him, which sent Draco into a frenzy. He whacked the umbrella every where, and when he did hit Peeves, it didn't really matter, for it went right through him.
"Ha ha, ickle Malfoy boy can't hit Peevesies!"
Draco growled and swung his umbrella around too far, sending him into a heap on the floor.
Peeves smirked and grabbed the umbrella, and proceeded to whack the boy, and of course, this didn't go through him.
Hermione sighed. "It's a beautiful song. 'Whack, ow, whack, ow, whack, ow," she sang. "Especially when Malfoy's the one going 'ow!'"
"Mudblood! How many times do I have to tell you? It's DRACO!" he seized the umbrella from Peeves, and proceeded to whack Hermione.
"When there's strife and when there's trouble, call on Peevesie, he'll make double!" sang Peeves in a singsong voice.
Evvy screamed inside her head, and ran to the back of the room, where she found another no-working couple. Well, maybe they weren't working for the newspaper, but they certainly were working for each other's pleasure.
"You guys!" Evvy screeched. "I'm going to have to stop your partnership in this newspaper if all you do is snog! Now, if you guys don't actually work, you'll be sorry I set you up!"
"When is the newspaper coming out?" asked Ron sleepily.
"Tomorrow!"
"Crap!" he yelled. "Pansy, we gotta get to work!"
"'Kay," said Pansy. "Just let me get a few-"
"No, NOW!" yelled Evvy.
"Okay, okay," said Pansy, disgruntled. "You don't have to be such a sourpuss about it."
Evvy rolled her eyes, and went over to the only sane person she knew: Blaise.
Evvy threw herself down in a chair, and looked at him. "Ugh, I never thought it'd be this much trouble to run a newspaper."
Blaise didn't look up, and continued working on his article.
"Er…Blaise?" Evvy said, snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Hello?"
He didn't even blink.
"What's up with you? What did I do to make you ignore me like this?"
Nothing.
"Still ignoring me, I see.
Same reaction.
"Look, if was about last night, I'm sorry. I really am."
Nothing.
Evvy finally blew her top. "What's your problem?" she yelled. "First you won't say a word to me, then you get all hissy at me, then we become friends, and now you're back to being a silent geek! What's next, a torpedo in my bed?"
Blaise looked up at her, his eyes hard.
Evvy saw the hurt in his eyes, and lay back in her chair. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard day, and-"
"And you've decided to take it out on me?" Blaise murmured.
"No…well, sort of. There was the stapler, Peeves, then Pansy and Ron-I guess I just overreacted," Evvy said, pushing her hair back.
Blaise shook his head and resumed his work without another word.
"Boys," Evvy muttered. "I'll never get used to 'em."
"I heard that," said Blaise, cracking a little grin.
"Well, I won't," Evvy retorted.
"That's because boys are so much better than girls," Blaise teased.
Evvy raised her eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Show me."
He did.
"Owwww!"
"That," said Blaise, as Evvy rubbed her head fiercely, "shows that boys are stronger than girls. MUCH stronger."
Ok, filler chappy, I know. Well, at least you learned some latin! Xoxo, MelSyl Rose- Thanks for the laughs! Anyway, about Hermione and Draco, I sorta got a problem like them too. U know, you love someone who u hate and they hate you back? Yeah, I sorta like my enemy. Great huh?
Zeetah- Yay, more laughs! And yeah, I like her personality too. You know, kind with a temper, and violent but not to violent?
Dracos-naughty-lil-girl- Yeah, they are pretty cute!
Maliaphire- It's okay if it's a short review! You take German? Is it fun?
Dancegirlem24- Hey Tori! Anyhow, u don't have to keep saying who you are. I know your un. Ps. You spelled my name wrong. Melissa.
Emmasnape99- Haha, you nod when you don't understand! Jk, jk. Yeah, I know that it was kinda short, but I felt like making them a small couple, like a small chapter couple. Don't worry, the next couple will take a lot more time. It's the Hermione/Draco one, and I have a good idea. I'm thinking on making my next story focus on them in this little conflict. Wait…what's ATOLS again?
Zerrin of the Wind- Yeah, I never thought about it before, until I read a one-shot about it, so I decided to put it in my story.
On top of cloud 9- Hey, I'm happy you read this story! And you seem to like it a lot, lol.
Hey, you guys, I'm gonna be in Washington DC this weekend, so it may take me a bit longer to update than usual. Just a warning.
….
Ask Evvy's Crystal Globe
"Weasley and Parkinson." Apparently Valentine's Day wasn't going to sweeten Snape's mood. Hermione watched as Ron and Pansy walked over to their cauldron sulkily, but when Snape turned away, they started to make out. Hermione stared at them, and they didn't stop.
"Draco and Granger."
Hermione frowned and walked over to Malfoy, disgusted. It was bad enough that they had to work together during newspaper. It's was Valentine's Day too! Why couldn't Snape give them a break?
"So Mudblood," said Draco, tipping his chair back. "Long time, no see."
"Just shut up so we can finish this Switchery potion! I'm not having you ruin my Valentine's Day!" she said forcefully, and opened the book.
"Oh, we have a boyfriend now, do we?" He smirked at her outraged expression, and started to chop up the toad's legs.
"No, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you!" Hermione struggled to keep her voice down as she stirred in the unicorn tail.
"Which obviously means you have one," Draco said, and added the hamstring of a newt.
She glared at him and smashed the monkshood roots harder, and dropped them into the cauldron, which was now a bright green sheen.
"Well, since you have a lover, I shall guess who it is," continued Draco.
Hermione's face turned red as she struggled to ignore his, as she slammed the beetle's eyes into the cauldron so ferociously that it almost tipped over.
"Let's see…Weasley?"
Her hands shook as they tuned the page.
"Potter?"
Her hands gripped the knife ever tighter as she slashed at the gooseberries.
"Or perhaps…Longbottom?"
She slammed the pestle down, and the board it landed on flew into the air. "You know what-" she hissed.
But he never found out what she was going to say, for her eyes fastened in horror on the one ingredient heading for the cauldron while Draco was oblivious to it's descent. He saw it now as he lunged for it-and missed.
The cauldron exploded with the force of a thousand elephants, knocking them off their feet and an orange mist issued out of the cauldron. They blacked out.
….
Suspense, suspense! The crystal ball never lies!
Well, press the tiny button for a smoothie, and review!
Mel