The Mass Murder of Umbridge & Co.

A/N: Sorry the updating has been slow, my only excuse is I've been realy lazy, but at least I've done it now.

A/N2: have you noticed? There's no disclaimers.

Funny stuff by Meow

(Meow is falling off a cliff. She lands in a net.)

Meow: Huh?
Ron: Hi.
Meow: Ron?
Harry: We're sending you up the cliff. Kill Umbridge for us.
Meow: Uhm, OK. Once I'm up, take away the net.
Ron: grins OK.
Hermione: A little crude...
Meow: So is Umbridge.
Hermione: True.
(Meow goes back up the cliff. Umbridge is there)
Umbridge: You were sent up here by underage magic! You need to be shoved back off!
Meow: Shut up. throws Umbridge off the cliff W00t!

And another 4-liner

Umbrigde stinks,
So everybody thinks.
She oughtta fall off a cliff
She's riffraff, raff, and riff!

Stuff by Tails500

Scene:Umbitch in her office has locked up all the house-elves in cages above her desk.The house-elves way of talking is not like in the book,it's normal so it's easier to understand.

Winky:(resembles a Barbie)(lites a cigarette.) I can't believe I have to share a cage with you.(Dobby's face gets sad.)Ugh...this is so stupid!

Umbitch: No talking!

Winky:Hmmph...cow.(Winky is a bit of a valley girl.)

Dobby: I'm afraid of heights! I wanna get down!(whimpers)

Winky: Grow up.

Dobby:(sees a knife on the desk near their cage and picks it up.He shows winky and hands it to her.)

Winky:(winks)Hey Umbitch!

Umbridge:(turns to yall at her but the knife goes soaring into her neck and she falls down dead)(the elves cheer and burst into a song)

All: Huzzah! Hurray! Umbridge died today! What a wonderful day it is! Oh gee!Oh wow! Dead is that cow!
(random elf): Now lets pry her mouth open and take a whiz!(they all stare at him oddly.)(song ends)

Dobby: you killed her Winky! Yay!

Winky: it was nothing.

Dobby:I think I love you!(tries to kiss her but she moves.)

Winky:uh, Hello! personal space! Now how do we get down?

Dobby:No clue. I think it's rather nice up here now that Umbridge is dead.(puts arm around her shoulder)

Winky: Personal Space!(shoves him)

More by Tails500

New scene! For stupid wormtail!(the elves are still stuck in their cages. Dobby is still trying to get some...)

Wormtail:(bursts into the toads office whistling. The toad has been magically ressurected by her boyfriend filch)

Umbridge: Who the beep are you!

Wormtail: stares into her eyes and falls in love)

Kreacher: aw jesus! Thats just nasty even for me!

Umbridge:(zaps Kreacher with a lazer...poor Kreacher)Shut up, you!

Dobby: Ha-ha!

Umbridge:You shut up too!

Dobby; My organs!(Winky pays no attention)I'll buy you something pink and expensive and pink if you pretend to care.(no response)with my money!(response)

(Suddenly the Umbridge destroyer squad crashes into the room)

All: We are the Umbridge destroyer squad. She is so big and fat!Let's hope Filch knows what the cheating toads doing with a slimy, smelly rat. If she and Kreacher were in a Miss Hogwarts contest I think we'd know who'd win.

Kreacher: Me!(very flattered) I want to thank--(ZAP!)

Filch: (appears outta nowhereland)What's goin'-(sees w and u.)rar! You a-stealin' my girlfriend!(zaps both outta fury)

All: Horray! Horray! Filch has saved the day! Horray! Horray! Horray!

Filch: No! I'm supposed to be a mean-(shoots himself.)

Winky: I'd like to get down now!(Dobby's head is on her fake boobs.)

The Umbridge destroyer squad:Sorry we don't know where the key is. Goodbye.(walks off whistling)Let's hope the next time we come back here, there are still two in the cage and not three.

Winky: EWW! Get off, you pervert!

Sassafrass's crossover scene of potC and HP

scene is the Black Pearl fron PotC. Jack is drinking his precious rum w/ some random crew members. Umbridge falls out of the sky(randomly of course) and hits the deck with a loud BAM and leaves cracks where her arse hit.
Jack: My ship! WHAT THE #$ DID YOU DO TO MY SHIP!
Umbridge: too much of a moron to relise what she did You, sir, have no right to talk to me that way! I'M the secretary of bla bla bla Ministery bla bla bla Cornelius...
Allexumbridge: eyes twitching
Jack: downs half his bottle of rum
Umbridge: You, pay attention to my to my rambling!uses wand to throw bottles overboard
Jack: MY RUM! THE RUM'S GONE! WHY IS THE RUM GONE!
allexumbridge:grab a cannon each
Jack:FIRE! all fires at the toad
Umbridge is then blown to pieces and flung into the ocean causing all the sea life within a five-mile radius to die from toxic piosoning
Jack and his crew then celebrated by drink as much rum as they could hold and singing off-key drinking songs.

Gimlibeard73's completely crazy stuff

scene: Umbridge is dressed in a potato costume for the school talent show...: dadadadada! Oh, I'm a jolly spud, some people call bud, I live down in the mud, with all the other tubers!(end song) everyone:Boo! boo! You stink! Boo!Umbridge: hem-hem! how dare you insult my potato song...educational decree no.34 states...all house-elves must be virgins...wait a minute I mean-- ron: Get off the stage you clown! Dumbledore:(in a cucumber costume)(pushes Potato-bridge off the stage and you dies)everyone: yay!

Dumbledore:I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber...please don't take me to the pickle farm! ba-dum-bum-bum!(everyone: yay!)thank-you! thank-you!(bows repeatly)thank-you! you're all wonderful! thank-you!

If you were wondering what happened to the house elves in cages heres what I wrote

Scene:dobby and winky and kreacher are locked in the cage. Then umbridge's dad jumps into the room(do you remember him? Hes the toad that left us a note)

Umbridges dad called Froggy: Oh dear, what happened here.

Kreacher:Your daughter locked us all up in cages hanging from the ceiling, or hadn't you noticed.

Froggy: Oh right, ill get you down.

Kreacher: How?

Froggy: I never told you I used to be a locksmith did I?(hops up to the cage, pulls out a lock pick, opens the cage and lets out Kreacher.)

Kreacher:Just leave them there their not coming.

Froggy: No, it doesn't look like it. (Dobby and Winky are kissing, then froggy thinks of something) I used to be a locksmith but now im a priest, so im going to get you two married and if yor not listening (which they aren't) you cant do anything about it. Blah blah blah blah blah, I now pronounce, or is it announce, oh well, you house elf and wife.(they continue kissing) oh well, its their own fault

Kreacher: winky didn't want to kiss him earlier.

Froggy: how odd. Well we'll have to dispose of that toxic waste safely.

Kreacher:Toxic waste?

Froggy:My daughters corpse. (asks kreacher) Who's that who just walked into the room?

Kreacher: its my misterss, bellatrix! Yay!.

Froggy: She smells funny(blasts bellatrix)

Kreacher: Nooooooooooooooooo!

Froggy: Oh do stop winging, your getting on my nerves (blasts kreacher too)

Snape: (hears kreachers scream and runs into the room) whats going on here!

Froggy:A blob of grease! Yuk I can't stand dirt!(then blasts snape)

Inquisitoral squad: We received a call that our leader was in trouble.

Froggy: You're a little late I'm afraid, and late people deserve punishment (blasts the lot of them, then spots mrs Norris walking around) oh dear, im allergic to cats(blasts her) well, now I must dispose of that toxic waste. (shouts) couple in the cage! Would you be so kind as to help me? (no response) ill do it myself then.(takes a deep breath, then does a croak so long and so loud that all the corpses in the room are thrown out of the window and into the lake where they are eaten by the giant sqid. D + W are saved by the cage.) I shouldn't have done that being a priest and all. But being a priests no fun, I should become an assassin . Well goodbye, couple in the cage (makes a stylish exist and is given a very, VERY, large round of applause and cheering by all the Hogwarts students and teachers who had been secretly watching)

A/N: Well how was that for a mass murder of Umbridge and Co. with a little help from tails500 and of course Froggy, all my lovely reviewers can have an extremely chocolatey thing or if that makes them sick they can have…cant think of anything so they just have to be sick. Double for meow, sassafrass, gimlibeard73 and tails500 for their help in killing Umbridge. C u soon.