Picking up the Pieces

Chapter Three

'Harm! Mac! What…' Meg said as they told her that they were going on their TAD to Afghanistan. She was in shock – it was only May 2002, four months since she had come back to JAG.

'Meg, we aren't abandoning you,' Mac said gently.

'Meg, I know it is only seven months since you lost your family, but you've got the Admiral, and Harriet and Tiner, Turner's come round hasn't he?'

Meg nodded, feeling slightly better.

'If you need us, the Admiral will send a message to the Seahawk for us okay.' Mac said her arm around Meg's shoulders.

'The Admiral needs you here anyway – with us and Bud gone, he's short on attorneys.' Harm added, kissing her forehead. Meg let them both hug her.

'It's better for you here Meg, after what happened…' Mac started to say carefully.

'I know, now go, before I get emotional,' Meg said, shooing them out, her voice shaking. Harm left last, his eyes locking into hers, sending her a silent message. I'll return, I promise.

AJ came into Meg's office.

'How are you doing Meg?'

'I'm okay,'

'Missing them already?'

'Guilty as charged sir.'

AJ laughed. 'We all do Meg, but I understand it's harder for you…you're closer with them than anyone else here including me…' He sat on her desk near her.

'If you need to go home Meg…'

'I'm fine; I need to be here…I don't want to be alone.'

AJ nodded. 'Meg, why don't I come over tonight and make you dinner?'

'You'd do that for me?' Meg asked him in disbelief.

'Meg, you've had a rough time,'

'Thank you sir, I'd like that,' Meg smiled.

'I'll see you…Did Harm drive you?'

'Yes sir,'

'Then I'll drive you home tonight,'

'Thank you,'

Meg's Apartment

'No, you sit down Meg; I said I'd cook,'

'Admiral, let me help you. I'm not sick or out of action,' Meg pleaded with him. AJ shook his head and took her out the kitchen.

'Sir, I've done enough sitting down,'

'Meg, let me do this…please. You and Mac are the closest people I have to daughters – let me be your father figure,'

Meg smiled. 'Okay,' she was beaten – and only three people could do that – Harm, Mac and AJ.

AJ came through with dinner, and saw Meg curled up on the couch crying.

'Do you miss them Meg?' He asked her as he put his arm around her. Meg nodded, unable to speak.

'Admiral, does Harm love me?' Meg asked eventually as they began to eat. AJ almost choked.

'Love you? I don't know Meg…I think he feels conflicted between his feelings for you and Mac…'

'Oh, okay.'

'Meg, I do know that he cares deeply for you – he was so upset when he heard what happened.'

Meg remained silent for a moment. 'Sir, I still can't remember everything, five years of my life are gone…'

'Meg, everything will come back in time,' AJ said calmly. 'Of course you'll only get bits and pieces at first…just a shame you can only remember Lindsey right now,'

'I liked him at first, then…' Meg trailed off. What had stopped her liking him? He had seemed agreeable and nice when she started with Harm at JAG.

'Did he hurt you?'

'I don't remember,' Meg replied. She curled up again, tucking her feet underneath her.

'Meg, you sit, relax. I'll clear up.'

'No, let me help,' Meg said, getting up too quickly and tripping into AJ. He caught her and they laughed.

'Are you all right?'

'Yes sir,' Meg said as he eased her back into the seat.

'Now sit still, that's an order.' AJ said to her. Meg curled up and put her head on the cushion. Her thoughts travelled to Harm and Mac for a moment, and she felt like crying, but pushed it away. She refused to let herself cry anymore – she'd done enough of that since September 2001. The phone rang and she grabbed it.

'Hello? Harriet, hey! I'm sure everything is okay…' Meg trailed off as AJ came through. Meg listened to Harriet. 'Bud's on the Seahawk – I'm sure nothing has happened to him.' Meg's voice was calm. She was so sure Bud was okay, but in the back of her mind, she doubted her confident words.

'Okay, bye,' Meg hung up.

'Harriet worried about Bud again?' AJ asked her.

'Yeah…'

'You're worried about Harm and Mac,'

'Am I that transparent?' Meg asked him.

'Do I need to answer Meg?' AJ asked her, sitting beside her on the couch. Meg shook her head.

'Only if you want to sir,' Meg replied, curling up again.

'Do you want me to stay?'

Meg looked at him strangely. 'You think I need that?'

'Do you?'

'No, I'm…I'm okay…' Meg stumbled over the words.

'Right, I'm staying tonight. Go to bed, relax, I'll take the couch.'

'Admiral, you've done enough for me already…Okay.' Meg fell weakly under his determined gaze.

'While you're upset, Meg…'

'With all due respect, I don't need to be protected all the time! Please, go home and…'

'All right Meg; I'll come get you in the morning.'

'Thank you,'