Trouble Kelp scowled at the sight of the vehicle in his lane. It was a van, actually. And it was in his reserved lane. His lane. Captain Kelp ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair as he shunted the big transport aside with the specialized magnets welded to the sides of his cruiser, parked, and got out slowly, yawning. He glanced over irritably at the van-and stopped in mid-yawn, riveted on the logo stamped on the side of the door.
It was innocent enough, with a simple party hat and the name of the company, but Trouble knew what it was and instantly felt a pang of fear. Stellar Party Costumes Inc. The costume fittings were today. D'Arvit.
For a moment, the captain considered just climbing back into his car, driving back to his apartment, and calling in sick, but his pride made him enter the building. You're just getting a costume, for heavens sake! he chided himself. It's not like you're being asked to dive into the planet's core or anything like that.
But, in Trouble Kelp's mind, it was nearly the equivalent. Seeing the revolting pink rabbit costume the desk sergeant (who had his back turned to the officers reporting to work) was wearing as he passed into his office, he would have almost preferred the latter. Almost. But not quite.
As he passed Root's office, the door opened and Captain Holly Short poked her head out. "Oh, hello Trouble," she said as she stepped out, rubbing her eyes wearily. "He wants to see you."
"About..." Kelp couldn't bring himself to say it.
The female elf nodded grimly. "Officer fittings are at noon. See you there."
Trouble automatically checked his watch. 7:16. Okay. He had some time before all hell broke loose. Waving a morose good-bye to Holly, who was obviously late by the way she rushed off, Captain Kelp stepped inside the commander's office. Root looked up from a stack of reports and gestured to the seat recently vacated by Holly in front of his desk, setting the topmost paper back and shifting the documents to one side so he could make eye contact with his guest.
"Right, Kelp," the commander said briskly, sitting back in his chair. "Holly told you what time we go to get absolutely humiliated?"
"Yes, sir," Trouble replied miserably.
Root sighed. "I can't believe the damn Council is making us go through with this," he growled venomously. "What did we do wrong?"
It was a rhetorical question, so Trouble ventured to ask the question that had popped into his mind as soon as he had entered the building. "Um, sir...we get to pick our costumes, right?"
"No," Julius spat, his coloring darkening a shade. "That's the worst bit: we have them assigned to us. Didn't you see the one Sergeant Griggs has on?"
Oh. The desk sergeant. Trouble groaned, his worst fears confirmed. Generally, you didn't complain in front of a superior officer, but there were certain exceptions when your superior officer was complaining too. Actually, knowing Root, there'd be a lot more than complaining to his officers going on. Short of storming the Council building, the Recon commander knew how to do a lot of damage when he wanted something changed. But nothing had happened yet, which signified that the Council really wanted this done. Well, we're doomed, concluded Trouble as he spoke again.
"Well, sir, I'm sorry about all of this-"
Root cut him off with a wave of his hand. "It's not your fault. If we have to do this, we'll do it to the best of our ability, as we've always done," the commander said sternly. "Now, in the meantime, I want to concentrate on real police work. What do you think of the goblin activity near E17?"
As the two talked, Trouble couldn't get one image out of his mind, an image that wouldn't go away no matter what he tried. It wormed its way into his thoughts, breaking his concentration as that one picture conjured up by his runaway imagination bombarded his brain.
Himself-as a teddy bear.
It was too repulsive to even think about. With a great effort, Trouble shoved the thought deep into the back of his mind and focused on his work. Like Commander Root said, there was real police work to do, and the thought of a little event the Council had cooked up was not going to put him off it. In fact, as he fervently told himself, he was beginning to forget all about it.
Wishful thinking. He was terrified.
It was 11:57, and Trouble Kelp was now on his way to one of the minor conference rooms where Stellar Party Costumes Inc. had set up shop. Gathering his courage, he opened the small, innocent-seeming door so like the others around it and stepped inside.
Instantly, his eyes were assaulted by bright, vivid shades of neon yellow and hot pink. The room had been decked out with streamers and screens of these painful colors, and crammed from end to end with tall racks of various costumes, the first of which he couldn't even see over. The only comfort he had was the sight of the other officers huddled in one corner on a long bench-the only modest piece of furniture in the room-but even then he could see the interior of the room glinting off their badges and name tags. Trouble blinked several times and made his way over to the area, wedging himself between two vice captains he didn't know. They all sat in silence for a while until a female sprite dressed in a fluorescent purple jumpsuit squeezed out from behind one rack, conjured a clipboard as if from thin air, and stepped up in front of them.
"Hi there!" she said brightly, beaming a view of perfect teeth at the officers, who were regarding her warily. "Well, today is a very exciting day, now isn't it?"
A noncommittal murmur rose from the gathered members of the LEP.
"Here's how this will work," the sprite said, twirling a lock of jet black hair airily on one finger as she regarded her clipboard. "We'll call you up in by order of your little ranks to try on a few costumes we have in back, and then you can go on out!"
Again, she blasted her corrected smile at them, seemingly unaware of the scowls focused her way. Trouble raised an eyebrow at Holly, who was sitting a few places away from him. Little ranks? she mouthed. Her colleague averted his gaze, biting his lip to stop the flow of quite unprofessional laughter that was rising in his throat.
The commander, naturally, was the first to go, as the highest-ranking officer there. His face a thundercloud, Root reluctantly followed the sprite into the forest of costume racks and vanished from sight. The two vice captains on Trouble's either side glanced at each other, and one passed the other a few coins over the captain's lap to his fellow. At Kelp's inquiring gaze, the offender explained in undertone, "It's a bet, you see, on how long the commander stays in there. Don't mention it, will you?"
Grunting disapprovingly, Trouble let it slide. He was rather eager to see the company get their due as well.
Five minutes passed before any sign of Root's wrath made itself apparent. A bellow strangely reminiscent of that of an angry buffalo rose from somewhere within the room, and each officer present shot upright, listening intently.
"NOW SEE HERE, YOU IMBECILE-!"
Other voices, quieter and more hurried than the commander's, rose to a near audible level in an attempt to calm him. By the sounds of further proceedings, it wasn't working all that well.
"I'M NOT WEARING THAT DAMN THING, SO GET IT OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I HAVE YOU ARRESTED, CIVILIAN!"
A wave parted the sea of costumes as Root stormed out, his face a brilliant crimson. Yanking open the door, he exited and slammed it shut. A moment later, several terrified looking pixies with the Stellar Party Costumes Inc. logo stamped on the front of their uniforms emerged after him, trembling. The first to appear said to the room at large, "So, if someone could tell Commander Root to come when the time is more convenient for him...?"
Trouble smiled. He couldn't help it. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.
A/N: Or so Trouble thinks...he hasn't seen nothing yet.
Thank you, reviewers! You all rose to the occasion magnificently by turning out in full, and I must extend my deepest gratitude to you all! Each review made my day a little brighter, and my day a little lighter...Many, many thanks, once again, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Another is well on its way, as I hope to complete this before Halloween.
For all those who want Root as a bunny-As I've said answering many reviews, I'm cooking up something really good for our dear commander, don't worry. As you can see, I already gave the costume away, suggestions welcome...
cybergurl: Thank you, my first reviewer, though I'm afraid that you won't find out Root's costume until later, when he's simmered down a bit. Be patient, and you'll be rewarded, fear not...
wackywildcrazy: Hmm, yes, most people are anxious to see Root indeed...I must warn you that I'm at a bit of a dilemma concerning his costume. I have to think of something really good for my favorite elf. Oh, he's going to kill me...
El Diablo Ella Misma: Wow, I'm touched! I'm so glad you like my story, and I thank you for your extremely kind and thoughtful review. I just hope Chapter Two lived up to the standards you set from Chapter One, and exceeded them.
almostinsane: Thank you! I appreciate it! (You used two sentences, I use two sentences, lol...))
Scottish Ninja: Awesome pen name by the way, I love it. Thanks for the review and the time, and I must compliment you indeed for reading this frivolity. I myself dislike short little stories like this, but I tried to make this one more unique because I thought I had a pretty good idea. If you enjoyed my writing but would like a more serious story, please take a look at my other writings! Once again, thank you indeed for an inspiring review.
scifi chick: Glad you thought Chapter 1 was funny-hope you'll like Chapter 2 even more!
Jakarutia: Oh, I didn't say specifically that Root was going to be a pink bunny...oh no, it's going to be worse than that...Thanks once again, m'dear, for reading my stories, and fear not: Desperate Campaign will be updated soon enough.
athleticsrulz: Foaly's coming up in the next chapter, hang on to your hats! Haha, I always take reviewers suggestions to heart, you'll get what you want to hear-usually. In this case, yes.
xMetallicBooger: Och, you all seem to want Root as a bunny! I gave the wrong costume away! I promise you now that it'll be good, but I'm saying no more...thanks for your time!
Tie Kerl: Ah, the last line...yes, I must agree with you, brilliance indeed. Kidding, I'm not that conceited...but I must say I got all teary when I read your review. Such a compliment, and an intelligent suggestion! You're my new best friend! Heheh...kidding there as well, though I must thank you for the suggestion. Any chance I could "borrow" that idea?
The Outer Limits: I, too, was quite surprised when Chapter One came to a close-I had expected this to be the stereotypical "What If?" story as well, the ones that usually are not written too well. I'm so glad you all seem to think I did a good job with Chapter One, and I hope Chapter Two didn't ruin it for you all. Thanks!
Malonia Martins: Root! Yes! Updated! Sorry for the wait!
Trouble Kelp: Hello again "Trubs", hope you don't mind me taking a leaf out of Grub's book. Thanks for reviewing once again! (Gee, someone who actually puts up with me-I should get your autograph!)
Well, with that being done, I'd once again like to thank the massive amount of reviewers (I think you guys all broke my record, so ye did) and sincerely hope Chapter Two was as good as you say the first one was. So sorry for the wait in between chapters, rest assured that Chapter 3 will be coming sooner than this one did. As I told athleticsrulz, Foaly will be starring in our next chapter-please do stay tuned.