Dvorovoi Part Nine

By Karen Page

Beverly smiled, butterflies lurching in her stomach. "Lets just say you'll know as soon I do."

Jean-Luc seemed satisfied with that and she breezed out of his quarters and headed back to her own smiling. Everything was off her chest and out in the open and it was all thanks to her downright annoying know it all cousin. This particular cousin was waiting inside her quarters when she arrived home one minute later.

"How did it go?" Bailey asked, practically bouncing around.

"You already seem to know," Beverly replied with a smile.

"I want to hear it in words," Bailey persisted.

"It was fine," the doctor replied as she took off her shoes and sank down on the end of her bed.

Bailey followed her into her bedroom. "Just fine? Don't you feel better for it?"

"I guess so," she replied, her pride just would not allow her to say thank you.

"He won't pressure you if that's what your worried about," Bailey said sitting down next to Beverly on the bed.

"I know he won't," Beverly replied. "He's too much of a gentleman."

"And now you aren't alone anymore are you?" Bailey asked happily. "You know he'll always be there for you."

Beverly missed the hidden meaning in Bailey's words. She didn't realise Bailey needed to talk to someone about what she was going through, she was too preoccupied with thoughts of Jean-Luc.

"What is going to make you feel ready?" Bailey asked, after Beverly remained mute.

"I don't know," she replied.

Beverly might not have known, but Bailey did. She knew that all Jean-Luc needed to do was to grab Beverly and kiss her and all her fears and hesitations would be a forgotten and distant memory. She said goodnight to Beverly and headed home wondering how in the universe she could get Jean-Luc Picard to realise this as well.

Beverly woke up the next morning to find the letter from Bailey in her message box. She sat down at the monitor and read it whilst brushing her hair.

It was a very long letter and she was shocked and disgusted by the real facts. Tears of sorrow welled in her eyes for her cousin and she was angry with herself for not paying the slightest bit of attention to the youngsters needs.

She was amazed to discover that Bailey was no longer a member of the crew and was trying to decide what to do with the rest of her life.

Throwing on her uniform, Beverly went to meet Jean-Luc for breakfast.

"I can't stay," she said quickly as she grabbed a quick cup of coffee and a croissant.

Jean-Luc looked a little disappointed. "Something come up?" he asked.

"I just found out all about Devon and the Dvorovoi and what he did to Bailey," she replied. She shook her head sadly. "I had no idea. I wouldn't speak to anyone. I wouldn't even speak to my own family. I was being too selfish and thinking of myself."

"Beverly," he began. "After what you went through, no one is blaming you for anything."

"You don't understand Jean-Luc," she insisted.

"What do you mean?"

"If it wasn't for Bailey," she explained running an agitated hand through her hair. "I would never have come back here last night and explained myself to you. She made me come back here and speak with you. She was very insistent."

Jean-Luc looked shocked. "Bailey did?"

"Yes," she replied. "She told me I was a stupid woman and sent me right on back here to apologise for the fight."

Jean-Luc couldn't help but laugh. "I really like that cousin of yours."

"Me too," Beverly replied, downing her coffee. "Which is why I feel so bad. I didn't even know she had resigned from Starfleet."

"She did that on our way to rescue you," he replied. "We all decided that it wasn't a Starfleet mission. Deanna and I resumed our careers as soon as we left the planet, but so far Bailey hasn't. She hasn't submitted a formal letter of resignation so as far as Starfleet is concerned, she is on sick leave."

"I don't think Bailey knows that," Beverly replied brightening. "Anyway I am going to see her now. We need to sort all this out. I need to find someway to make up for all the stress I caused her by ignoring her."

"Good luck," Jean-Luc called as she breezed out of his quarters to start the day. Beverly Crusher seemed to work like a whirlwind sometimes and he chuckled to himself as he continued to eat his breakfast.

Beverly went straight inside Bailey's quarters when she arrived to find Bailey sobbing her heart out in bed.

Bailey knew she was coming, she had sensed Beverly reading the letter that morning. Sensing Beverly's grief over what had happened brought Bailey's feelings to the surface from where she had buried them deep within her.

Beverly sat down on the edge of the bed and immediately Bailey fell into her arms and buried her head in Beverly's lap as she cried.

"I'm so sorry," Beverly cooed stroking Bailey's soft red hair. "I am a stupid woman aren't I?"

"Yes," Bailey nodded.

"I just don't understand why nobody saw fit to tell me before," Beverly whispered gently.

"Because they were scared of you," Bailey replied, lifting her face. "Us Howard women can be a bit ferocious when we want to be."

"We can also bury our own emotions deep inside," Beverly said softly. "Even though it's bad for us. We are too proud to admit our weaknesses or show our vulnerability."

"Maybe we can make a stand for all the Howard women," Bailey whispered.

Beverly smiled. "We should," she said.

"Even after all that Devon did to me," Bailey sniffed. "I miss him. I know it's horrible, but I do."

"It's very understandable," Beverly reassured her. "He was for all intents and purposes your best friend and your lover."

"I'm so lonely," she cried, tears returning once again. "I don't want to leave here. I wanna stay here with you."

"You can sweetheart," Beverly said softly. "No one is telling you that you have to leave. You're on sick leave from Starfleet, you haven't resigned."

"I haven't?" Bailey lifted her head once again. "I'm confused."

"You have to submit a letter of resignation to resign from Starfleet," Beverly explained. "You haven't. So Jean-Luc put you on sick leave."

Beverly stayed with Bailey for over an hour, talking through everything. When she left that morning, she was confident that Bailey was going to stay onboard and resume her duties. Her personal recovery was going to take more work, but Beverly was very willing to help in whatever way Bailey wanted her to.

Bailey was surprised when she received a visit from the Captain a few hours later.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he took a seat on the couch.

"Better now that Beverly and I are on speaking terms," Bailey smiled softly as she handed him a cup of earl grey.

"I came by to thank you for what you said to Beverly last night," he said, feeling brave enough to come right out and speak his thoughts. "It means a lot to me."

"It's no problem," Bailey replied. "Truth is, I can't sleep when Beverly is upset. I still haven't mastered the art of mental blocking."

Jean-Luc laughed with her and then fell silent. He desperately wanted to ask her about Beverly, but his pride wouldn't let him.

Bailey listened to his thoughts and a smile spread across her pretty face. Jean-Luc frowned at her, wondering why she was grinning.

"Take her in your arms," Bailey said in a low whisper. "And kiss her passionately. If she resists it won't be too long before she stops struggling."

Jean-Luc's eyes widened at the spoken answer to his unasked question. "Um… thank you," he muttered.

"No worries," she replied grinning. "It will work. Trust me, she's just being stupid with this not being ready thing. She has been ready for years. She just didn't know whether you still felt the same way about her."

Jean-Luc stayed as long as it took him to drink his tea before he headed down to sickbay. He found Beverly in her office alone and closed the doors, thankful that the blinds were already drawn.

Beverly looked at his determined face when he walked straight in and closed the door behind him and wondered if something was wrong. She got to her feet instantly and faced him as he rounded the table.

To her surprise he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately, Beverly pushed her hands against his chest and tried in vain to push him away. His kiss deepened and he invaded her mouth with his tongue as he moulded her body against his. Ten seconds later, Beverly gave in and kissed him back. All conscious control now gone, her body took over and she enfolded him in her arms, their bodies pressed tightly together. It was a very long kiss and both gasped for air when they surfaced. They rested their foreheads together as they panted to catch their breaths.

"Are you ready yet?" Jean-Luc asked as he cupped her face in one hand, gently stroking her ear.

"I want you…" she breathed gazing deep into his eyes.

"Meet me in your quarters in ten minutes," Jean-Luc said quickly, "Make an excuse or something, but be there."

Beverly nodded, incoherent thoughts rushing through her. She watched Jean-Luc disappear and calmed herself down before heading out into sickbay to leave a do not disturb message with a nurse before rushing to her quarters to meet her would be lover.

Jean-Luc was already there when she arrived, the ten-minute delay had been agonising for them both. Jean-Luc grabbed her and swung her into his arms the moment she walked through the doors. Their lips met once again in a searing kiss.

Suddenly he felt something hard and solid against his back and opened his eyes to see hers peering wickedly into his. She had pushed him against the bulkhead and as her mouth pulled away from his, her hand travelled down. He gasped as she stroked him firmly through his uniform her eyes shimmered mischievously. She tore her lips from his and moved to his neck where she began ravishing his sensitive skin, nipping with her teeth. He shuddered as her hands gripped his shoulders, fingernails digging in, her lips and teeth moving along his neck, now at his ear, her breath hot against his skin. "For someone who wasn't ready last night…" Jean-Luc muttered Beverly silenced him with her lips. "You started it," he heard her whisper. She started tugging at his uniform; he could see the urgency in her eyes. He wanted for their first time to be slow and tender, but one look at the woman in front of him, told him that she wanted anything but. Taking her by the shoulders, he turned her away from him, ignoring her quiet protest, and then pulled her back so she rested against him. He ran his hands over her hips and up her torso, brushing the sides of her breasts as he kissed her neck. "Riker to Picard." Both officers groaned in unison. "Picard here," Jean-Luc replied. "Sir, we have a situation," Riker stated. "On my way Number One," Jean-Luc said, squeezing Beverly's shoulders affectionately. "Picard out." "Damn it!" Beverly cursed, her chest heaving. "Don't go anywhere," Jean-Luc called as he headed towards the doors. "I'll be as quick as I can." The 'situation' took a little longer that Jean-Luc had anticipated to sort out, two hours to be precise. Standing inside the turbo lift he asked the computer for Beverly's location and was pleased to find that she hadn't gone anywhere as instructed. Letting himself into Beverly's quarters, he found her lying on her back on the bed still in her black uniform with her sock covered feet resting on the wall above the headboard. She turned her head and looked at him when he appeared in the bedroom doorway. "I'm back," he replied, smiling at her. "So I can see," she replied. "It took a little longer than I expected," he continued. "But we are both off duty now, so there won't be anymore disturbances." "That was a dirty trick you played on me Jean-Luc," Beverly said evenly as she narrowed her eyes at him. "You think one kiss is going to get me to sleep with you? Well I'm telling you now, that I am still not ready." "You aren't," he said slowly, silently cursing the Ferengi that caused the situation up on the bridge. "No I am not," she replied. "I told you only last night that I would tell you when I was ready and I don't know what you were playing at earlier, but it wasn't fair." Jean-Luc sighed softly. "I am truly sorry," he replied gently. "I accept your apology," she replied simply. "It better not happen again. Don't go using my physical attraction to you to your advantage." Jean-Luc had to smile at that. "Mind if I join you?" he asked. "I think we need to talk over our boundaries." "Be my guest," she replied, thanking whoever was listening that she finally was able to speak to Jean-Luc frankly about their relationship without freaking out. Jean-Luc took off his boots and laid on his back beside her; resting his feet on the wall above the headboard too. "Where do we start?" he asked. Beverly shrugged. "I don't know," she replied. "Well maybe I should start by explaining something," he said, staring up at the ceiling above Beverly's bed. Somehow he hadn't imagined being clothed when he thought about staring at the ceiling above her bed. "Go ahead," she replied, smiling softly for the first time since he had returned. "You remember last night?" he asked, turning to face her. "Of course I do," she replied. "You told me that you were lonely," he began softly watching Beverly's face fall at the memory. "You said you didn't like coming home here night after night and having no one here waiting for you." Beverly nodded, biting on her bottom lip. "I said a lot last night didn't I?" "I feel the same way Beverly," he admitted. "I am lonely too. I have no one to come home to, nobody to share the nights with. I don't have close friends like you do. I have to keep a distance from the crew, have to be the stoic Captain. You are the only one I talk to and feel comfortable enough to be myself with. I can really laugh with you. You are the one person in the universe that can make me feel like a man and not just the Captain of the Federation's flagship. That is one of the reasons I love you so much. I don't love you because you are beautiful, I love you because you are you." Beverly's eyes filled with tears at his words. "I love you too," she replied, trying to rein in her torrent emotions. Jean-Luc smiled at her, tears filling his own eyes. "I have been in love with you most of my life, even when it seemed like I wasn't. Even when I was involved with other women, you were always there. I was trying to find you in someone else, but none of them came anywhere near you. So I just gave up trying and decided that I'd be better off living the rest of my life alone, hoping that someday you would love me in return." "I did," she whispered, wiping away the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I do. Its so strong Jean-Luc," she whispered. "That's what I'm afraid of. If I give my love for you a… free rein, I'd fall so deep that I'm scared of what I'd do if something happened to you." "Beverly," he whispered, reaching over her pulled her to him and hugged her. "I feel exactly the same way about you." "You do?" she asked shocked. Jean-Luc nodded and kissed her temple. "But," he said softly. "I also know that it would hurt me just the same if something happened to you before you told me you loved me yesterday as it would if we were together." Beverly sniffed and looked at him through glazed eyes. "Really?" she asked like a small child. "Really," he assured her. "In fact I think it would be worse. There would be so many regrets because I never got to share my life with you. I would never know what it would be like to wake up with you in the morning. I wouldn't even know what you looked like in the morning!" he teased. Beverly smiled, "I look immaculate," she assured him. "I'll believe it when I see it!" he laughed. Beverly laughed with him, then suddenly turned her head and caught his lips with her own. The laughter died instantly, followed by a low rumble from his chest as Beverly's passionate kiss took over. She moved over him, never breaking the contact of their kiss and Jean-Luc brought his hand up and entangled it in her hair, the other ran across her back. "I'm ready," she breathed, pulling away from him to gaze into his eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life," she replied, with a wicked grin. "And you are sure I'm not using your physical attraction to me as an unfair advantage?" he laughed as she slapped his chest playfully. "Stop being cheeky Jean-Luc," she warned, pouting her lips. "Or I will change my mind." He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek as he stared up into her beautiful blue eyes. She smiled down at him, watching the emotions playing out on his face. "Is it just me," she whispered softly. "Or do you feel… nervous too?" "I do," he replied, giving her one of his rare smiles. "It feels… weird," she added, relieved that he was feeling the same way. "We've been friends for so long… and we are about to do something we've never done before. Well not together at least." Jean-Luc nodded his understanding. "Are you ready now?" he asked again. "Or do you want to wait?" Jean-Luc could see, even if Beverly couldn't, that she wasn't ready. He could see her trying to will herself into becoming ready, when she clearly wasn't. "I…" her voice trailed off and she frowned at him slightly. "I'm so sorry Jean-Luc," she replied softly. "I know I may have gone through with it earlier…" Jean-Luc gazed up at her as she spoke, watching her eyes fill with tears. "It's okay," he said gently. Beverly shook her head and the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "I do love you," she whispered. "Its… what happened to me… with Devon." "Beverly," he whispered back, hugging her to him. "I can't begin to imagine what you are going through." "Even though," she began, "Even though I gave into him, every time he touched me. I didn't want it. He had power over me." Jean-Luc kissed her temple as she buried her face in his neck. "I can wait as long as you like," he whispered softly. "I won't let you be lonely," she replied lifting her head and looking into his eyes. "I want to be with you all the time. Now we know how we feel about each other, there isn't anything stopping me from staying the night." Jean-Luc smiled. "I would love that," he said in a dreamy voice. "You can finally see what I look like first thing in the morning," she said with a quick smile. "Just to be able to hold you is enough for me," he whispered softly. "Same here," she replied softly. "I might see my way clear for a few kisses along the way too," she giggled. "Great!" he exclaimed happily. Beverly smiled at him. "When I'm ready Jean-Luc," she said wickedly. "You'd better be ready or you won't know what's hit you! I'll be a woman possessed! I'll make you wish you were twenty years old again! I have a good fifteen years of no sex to make up for!"Jean-Luc smiled at her, knowing that although she smiled back, the sadness in her eyes was what he noticed first. Just knowing how badly she was hurting inside, made him feel near to tears himself. He knew it was going to be a rough ride ahead and was totally and utterly determined to see it through until the end. The End

You might be pleased to know that the sequel is ALL FINISHED! I'll be posting it later this month J