Disclaimer: Trademarked product, used only for fun and games. Or I'd be trying to make a living at this. I wish!
Author: hazeleyes57
Title: Last Chance, chapter 18
Rating: R
A/N: Sorry – in the last chapter I meant to use the sentence from 'Kiss the Sky' that Sara used, as an 'homage' and forgot to mention it in the note. Unreserved apologies.
Last Chance Chapter 18
Nick stokes looked up from what he was doing, his glance again falling on the disconsolate face of Greggo, their favourite lab rat. Nick silently shook his head and returned to his work.
It was no secret that the brilliant young specialist was attracted to Sara, and although he had put on a brave face in the breakroom, he had not taken the news about Sara's pregnancy well. He had the same shocked expression on his face that he had been wearing when he returned to work after the explosion in the lab.
After another few minutes of silence – that in itself a surprise – Nick put down the micropipette that he had been using. He was aiming for consolation, but somehow it didn't come out quite right.
"Hey, Greggo, it's not like you ever had a chance with Sara."
Greg looked up from the textbook that he had been pretending to read. Some of the big-eyed puppy dog misery moved aside for a little indignation.
"Hey, she would have come around. I was working up to it, being subtle."
Nick raised one eyebrow in disbelief.
"You? Subtle?"
Greg was too depressed to rise to the bait. He suddenly stood up and dropped the textbook down on the lab bench. Test tubes rattled in a rack.
"It's not that impossible."
At Nick's puzzled look, Greg elaborated.
"Me and Sara. Not such a stretch. She's not that much older than I am, and now that Hank's history, I was giving her time to get over him. Not rushing her."
"She's over Hank, believe me. They were never that much of an item."
Nick picked up the pipette and replaced the used tip with a fresh one. Greg nodded slowly.
"Yeah. The ratfink hurt her pride, not her heart. Pity about the kid though. Is Sara Catholic?"
It took Nick a moment to realise what Greg was hinting at. It dawned on him that they were straying into unwise territory and that Greg had seriously misunderstood Sara's situation. He looked up to the lab doorway to check that they were not being overheard.
"Look, I think that you should just give it up, okay? Take it like a man and move on. Sara has."
As soon as they had left his mouth, Nick realised that he should not have uttered the last two words. He didn't try to recover from it; he shut up and kept his head down in the hope that Greg wouldn't pursue it.
No such luck.
Greg looked startled and hopeful.
"So Hank's not in the picture…"
His expression turned gloomy again.
"…but she's obviously seeing someone."
Nick figured wisely - if a little late - that he should have kept his mouth shut.
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Catherine did a U turn in the corridor outside Grissom's office. She had been going to wait for Grissom to catch up with her – they were assigned together this evening – but now she wondered at the wisdom of leaving the lovebirds alone in the breakroom. Something had obviously gone wrong and Grissom had looked pissed. The last thing that they needed was for someone to witness a personal 'discussion' and report back to Cavallo.
Just as she had started back up the corridor, she heard Grissom's office telephone ring. It was the outside line tone and Catherine wondered if she should answer it. As she hesitated, it stopped ringing. It started again almost immediately. It would seem that someone wanted to get hold of Grissom. Catherine tutted as she walked into the office. Whoever it was should get in line.
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"What!"
Grissom stared at Sara hoping that his shock wasn't as visible as it felt.
Sara took a deep calming breath and exhaled slowly. She reminded herself that Grissom was still insecure about the two of them being together. She guessed that he was most strongly reminded of this when they were at work, where the differences counted. Gill had moved past that enough for them to marry, but this wasn't Gill here, not yet.
"Y'know what? Nothing I say is going to make a bit of difference here or anyplace, unless you can get over this lack of trust thing. You're going to have to figure this out for yourself. Listen to the famous 'evidence is everything' voice and you figure it out. When you have, come get me. Don't take forever."
Sara spun on her heel and stalked out of the briefing room, leaving Grissom slack jawed in surprise. Half of him had expected Sara to rush in and reassure him about Miami, the other half had expected her to say, 'so long, hey, it's been fun'.
Neither half had expected her to turn around and leave without giving him an answer.
By the time Grissom had gathered his wits, Sara had vanished, and Catherine was standing in the doorway, a 'post it' note in her hand.
"Nick Calavecci returning your call. He's waiting for you to call back now before he catches his flight."
Grissom remembered the doctor whose call he had been expecting when he had spoken to Sara earlier. It was imperative that he speak with him, so the pursuit of Sara would have to wait. He took the note from Catherine's fingers as he passed her in the doorway, his mind already on the telephone call.
Catherine stood in the doorway looking at his retreating back, her hands on her hips. She called after him.
"You're welcome!"
Without turning around, Grissom raised the hand with the note in it in acknowledgement. It was obviously all the thanks that she was going to get for now.
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Warrick looked up as Sara entered the locker room.
"Hey."
Sara gave him a smile as she collected her jacket. She wasn't too stressed about the incident in the breakroom, but she thought that it wouldn't hurt to prod Grissom a little. She was coming up on the halfway mark of her pregnancy, and she would like 'things' to be sorted as best as they could be before the baby's birth.
"Ready to go?"
Warrick stood up and smiled back as he shut his locker.
"Sure, another night, another nickel."
"Think that one up all by yourself?"
"No, I had help."
"No, you need help."
At Sara's retort Warrick stopped and frowned at her.
"Just remember that you won't always be pregnant. I'll get my own back."
Sara grinned before giving him an exaggeratedly scared face.
"I'm shakin' in my boots!"
Warrick shook his head.
"Yeah, right…I don't think."
He thought how good it was to hear Sara's laughter again. Grissom must be doing something right.
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"I really thought that they had got it sorted for a moment there."
Catherine's voice had a slightly resigned quality to it that Warrick picked up immediately. He was still treading carefully with Catherine as they both worked through the construction of their new relationship.
"This is Grissom we're talking about. Mister 'closed off' with Miss 'defensive'. It's bound to have a couple of false starts. They both have a lot to unlearn about being together."
Catherine turned her head slightly to get a better view of Warrick.
"That was insightful. I told you that you were a lot deeper than people gave you credit for. And you're right, they have a steep learning curve, with a baby thrown in for good measure. It'll be bumpy."
Warrick looked at the side view of Catherine's face. He didn't think that he would ever tire of seeing her this close to him. Grissom and his difficulties faded into the background.
"So, what time to we have to collect Lindsey?"
"Three thirty. That gives us about two hours. Any ideas about what to do while we wait?"
Catherine's smirk was almost coy, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
Warrick grinned.
"I'm sure something will crop up."
Catherine shifted and the foamy bath water swirled around them in agitation. One of her hands disappeared under the bubbles and Warrick gasped with pleasure. Catherine purred.
"Seems to me it already has."
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Sara settled back on her couch and brought her feet up on the other end. She opened the book that she was reading on her lap and flicked through the pages to where she had left off a couple of days ago. Work had been busy this week, and she had hardly had chance to see Grissom, let alone read up on where she was in her pregnancy. Having found the page she wanted, Sara picked up her glass of milk and sipped as she read about ultrasound scans. Sara had an appointment for the day after tomorrow for her first scan and she wanted to know what to look for. The photographs accompanying the text were amazing and she wondered how – in the technical sense – that the pictures had been acquired. Within a few minutes she was lost in the book, her drink forgotten.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Grissom checked his emails on his laptop while he was eating his 'lunch'. It was four in the afternoon and he had managed to sleep, if a little fitfully, for several hours. He was just musing idly about how much better he slept when Sara stayed over, when he opened the folder that collated all his work related correspondence. He scrolled through various health and safety bulletins and social palaver – of which there seemed to be vast numbers – until a flagged 'urgent' email came into view. He clicked on the message and it opened up.
Grissom frowned as he read. It was from Assistant Director Robert Cavallo. Grissom read on, his fledgling appetite fading as he realised that this was what he had been expecting ever since Sara got back from Miami.
'…and under the circumstances I find it disturbing that I have to learn about an important development in department staffing levels from another member of the staff instead of yourself. I have arranged an appointment to see you in my office - '
There followed the date and time that Cavallo expected Grissom to present himself in his office.
Grissom checked his watch and cursed silently. Cavallo didn't waste much time. He wanted to see him this afternoon, before he was due back at work tonight. Typical that the man wanted to see Grissom during his own work time and not Grissom's. If there was one thing he hated about the Supervisor's post, it was having to co operate with the endless machinations of the people with political agendas. He read the rest of the email with his eyes narrowed in anger.
'…where we will discuss your role as supervisor and the execution of your duties.'
Grissom pushed the laptop away from him and got up. Although he had gone against his own ethical code in seeing Sara, there was nothing on paper to actually prevent him from seeing one of his subordinates. There was no law that said that they couldn't marry either. This wasn't like the military where there were clear rules about fraternisation. Cavallo was just being an ass again and trying to irritate him. He had been gunning for Grissom even before the lab explosion involving Catherine, and he had been trying to trip him up ever since.
Grissom paced around the townhouse, pausing at the window to look outside and try to calm down. After a few minutes he rubbed the tension out of the back of his neck and walked back to the dining table and the laptop. He sat down to type, his expression determined.
Time for some insurance.
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Cavallo had Grissom wait outside his office for an extra ten minutes. Grissom knew the tactic for what it was and merely seated himself comfortably, reading a small book that he had brought with him for just that purpose.
When Cavallo appeared to summon Grissom into his office, he found the younger man deep in some book and had to call him twice. Grissom – who had heard him perfectly the first time – looked up and gave the AD a small smile.
"Sorry," he gestured to the book, "don't often have time to catch up on my reading. Thanks."
The AD was not amused at having been prevented from annoying the nightshift Supervisor.
"No, sorry to have kept you waiting. I was on the telephone to the Mayor."
He was about as sincere as Grissom had been, and was attempting to show that he had the political ear.
It was wasted on Grissom, who didn't give a crap about it anyway. The posturing over for now, the two men settled in Cavallo's office.
They discussed a few points that Grissom considered minor, bordering on trivial. Then Cavallo leaned back in his chair and looked at Grissom.
"Now, what's this I hear about Miss Sidle?"
Grissom just looked at him as if waiting for more information. When none was forthcoming he eventually he replied.
"I don't know, Robert. What have you heard?"
"You're not blind Grissom. Even you must notice when one of your staff gets knocked up."
Grissom pursed his lips as he silently counted to ten. He ignored the unpleasant phraseology and the inferred slight in the caustic 'even you'.
"I am well aware that Sara is pregnant. She informed me prior to her secondment to Miami. She has completed the requisite paper work from Human Resources and has applied for maternity leave to be taken at the appropriate time. She specifically asked me not to inform the rest of the shift about her condition until she was ready."
Cavallo took no pleasure from Grissom's response. He was unaware that Sidle had already informed HR, and was annoyed that he hadn't checked the facts for himself. His voice was sarcastic.
"Is she ready yet?"
"The rest of the shift were informed the day that she returned to work after Miami. No one appeared to have any problem with it."
Grissom had no trouble guessing who had whispered in Cavallo's ear. He had heard Greg comment that Hodges was a 'real butt limpet' and couldn't bring himself to disagree.
Robert Cavallo sighed in disgust.
"Goddam women in the job. Train 'em up and bam, they're pregnant and you've wasted the taxpayer's money."
Grissom didn't comment, preferring to let the AD hang himself. It was typical of this man with his political aspirations to be so politically incorrect. It occurred to him that Cavallo appeared to have no idea that Grissom's relationship with Sara was more than just that of her Supervisor. Hodges obviously didn't know everything.
"Nothing to say Grissom? Ah well, never mind. Soon get some fresh blood in if she doesn't come back."
Grissom couldn't resist rattling Cavallo's cage. He stood up, ready to leave.
"Sara is regularly headhunted but - until now - has resisted all offers. It seems other people don't share your view of female CSI's. Miami want her and 'Frisco would have her back in a heartbeat."
Cavallo eyed Grissom from the other side of the desk.
"I've heard about your misguided loyalty to the staff. Doesn't pay to be soft."
Grissom turned for the door. He had similar conversations before with Cavallo and he just didn't get it. With his hand on the door handle he turned back to the AD.
"A lab with no staff doesn't pay at all."
Grissom left the office without waiting for Cavallo's reply. He knew that it was only a matter of time before his involvement with Sara was discovered, all he had achieved here was a stay of execution. It was enough time to warn Sara, particularly about Mr Butt Limpet. He doubted that she would be surprised, none of the staff had warmed to him. Ironically, Hodges thought that they were the ones with the 'attitude' problem.
Now that the meeting was over, Grissom knew that he had several hours before he needed to be at work. Time enough to go home. Or time enough to go see Sara.
Home could wait.
He unlocked the Denali and climbed in. Before he started the engine he took out his cell and pressed the speed dial number for Sara's home telephone. If she was out he didn't want to disturb her by ringing her cell. It was only when he heard the telephone pick up that it occurred to him that Sara might have been asleep.
"Hey Grissom."
"You have caller ID?"
He could hear the smile in her voice when she answered.
"Yeah, I do. What's up?"
He was tempted to say 'me' but managed not to say it out aloud. He looked around the car lot for inspiration. How do you say 'I want to come over to see you, to make love to you, to have you sleep beside me'?
"Grissom?"
"Yes?"
"You are my husband. If you want to come over you don't have to book an appointment. If you're checking that I'm in, you have your answer."
Grissom smiled despite the fact that she couldn't see him. The geek mind meld was still working. He was suddenly ravenous.
"What do you fancy; Thai? Indian? Chinese? Italian?"
There was hardly any hesitation in Sara's voice.
"Chinese, and bring extra sweet and sour chicken balls, I'm starving."
"Bring extra balls. I certainly will."
"Yeah, I'll bet."
Grissom smirked at the sound of Sara's sexy laugh as she added.
"I'll have something hot for you when you get here."
Grissom grinned at the sexy tone.
"Please tell me that you don't mean two plates."
"Damn, you read my mind."
"See you in twenty."
"Cool."
Grissom put his cell away and started up the Denali. Sara managed to make everything seem so easy and straightforward. It was only when he wasn't in her proximity that he began to have doubts creep in. It wasn't Sara that he didn't trust, it was himself. He had already ruined one chance to connect with someone by running at the first opportunity – he doubted that Heather would ever forgive him and he didn't blame her. He had let her down.
Just as he would probably let Sara down.
Grissom sighed heavily. In the space of an hour he had gone from anger through amusement, lust and depression. These mood swings were exhausting. The only consolation he had was that his nausea was increasingly rare now, and his appetite had returned with a vengeance. And not just for food. His depression lifted.
He drove faster.
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As soon as Sara got off the telephone she had a lightening tidy around the apartment. She wasn't going to think about the Grissom/Miami thing just now; he was her husband, and any chance that she got to be with him wasn't going to be squandered. She was giving him more and more memories to replace the missing ones, helping to make him realise just what he had. What they had together. She put the stove on a low heat and stuck some dishes in to warm up, her lips curving with amusement. She pulled the towel off her damp hair and raked her fingers through the tangled strands. She didn't have time to straighten it; Gris would have to settle for the wild and curly look. Wild and curly made her think of Grissom's cabin and the water tub and making love in the rain. She checked that her bed was tidy and fresh. She changed into a more appealing outfit and spritzed herself with perfume. At this stage of her pregnancy she was relatively unencumbered by the physical changes to her body, she had a cleavage to die for and she felt fit and energetic. And randy. Very randy. All the time.
Sod the Chinese, where was Grissom?
It was another ten minutes before there was a knock on her apartment door. Sara managed to stop herself running to the door, and opened it with only a modicum of haste. Mmmm. God he looked so tasty.
Grissom was holding two carry bags of Chinese food from a popular local restaurant. He kept a straight face as he stepped into the apartment, carrying the food to the kitchenette area. With ease born of practise he placed the cartons in the stove's top oven to remain warm. He turned to Sara with a grin.
"As promised, extra balls Madam."
Sara pounced.
Grissom instantly realised that he wouldn't be eating Chinese any time in the immediate future. He didn't care. Sara obviously had other appetites that needing feeding first; her lips glued to his, her mouth demanding a response as her arms wrapped around him. When she broke off to look at him, presumably to see how he was taking her attack, he was breathing heavily, all thought of food forgotten.
Xxxxxxx This piece not available here, see message boards on 'your tax dollars at work' for the link to other higher rating sites. Sorry, I don't make the rules. xxxxxxxxxx
He looked her in the eyes again, still astonished at the message that they were giving him.
You are mine and I am yours.
Sara also leaned forward, so that she could wrap her arms around Grissom and hold him until she had stopped shaking. They were face to face, her head higher than his. She laughed aloud, still giddy and breathless. No wonder that she loved him.
"Wow! Damn but that was good! Just what I wanted."
Grissom smiled, looking up at her. Her hair was dishevelled where he had run his fingers through it and her make up was smudged. She looked incredible. No wonder that he loved her.
"What we both wanted. Needed."
Sara bent forward and kissed the top of Grissom's head. He found himself nestled comfortably against Sara's still covered breasts and he felt his arousal twitch involuntarily.
So did Sara. She pulled back her head to look at him again and smirked.
"Hey, food first. I've just worked up an appetite!"
Grissom first kissed Sara thoroughly then reluctantly allowed himself to slip from her body.
"Me too. But you're right. Food first."
With agility that belied her condition, Sara got down from the counter with Grissom's help and went in search of the kitchen paper towels, another casualty of the worktop clearance.
Grissom pulled his pants up, leaving them unfastened. He picked up Sara's slacks and straightened the legs out right side. He picked up the lacy panties that fell out of one leg. He could see Sara was looking for something. He was more than momentarily distracted by the fact that she was naked from the waist down.
He held up the lace on one finger.
"Looking for these?"
He was the picture of innocence when Sara's head popped up.
"Nah. Paper towel and some cleanser, though I still may never eat at that counter top again."
Grissom smiled at Sara's squeamishness. He tipped his head as he often did at work.
"Why not? I did."
Sara's expression was torn between outrage and amusement, as was her voice.
"Grissom!"
He raised his eyebrows.
"Yes, honey?"
Amusement won out, and they both smirked. Sara sighed.
"Never mind, let's eat."
At his expression, Sara tutted.
"The Chinese, Grissom, the Chinese."
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That night, before leaving for work, Grissom did not mention to Sara about his summons to Cavallo's office but he did advise her to be wary about who might be listening to her conversations in and around the labs and breakroom. It was obvious to Sara that he didn't want to go into details, but she was smart enough to have put two and two together. Her already lukewarm working relationship with Hodges dropped another couple of degrees.
He didn't notice.
About an hour before the end of the shift, Catherine and Sara drove back to the lab from their latest crime scene. For once there was no DB, just a fairly straightforward robbery with lots of potential evidence available. Catherine was driving and humming lightly under her breath.
"Someone seems to be in a good mood. Care to tell?"
Catherine glanced at Sara before returning her gaze to the front. She tried to hide her grin but it broke out anyway.
"Hell, no."
Sara smiled with sympathetic amusement. She didn't want to discuss her situation with Grissom either, so she understood where Catherine was coming from.
"Well, I get that. However, it doesn't mean that I can't say that I think the two of you look good together. I always have done, but now the timing is right, y'know?"
Catherine nodded, understanding better than Sara realised. With Eddie in the background, nothing could have got going with anyone new, he would have sabotaged it in a heartbeat. He had still wanted Catherine as well as his women on the side. She wasn't glad that he was dead – he was still Lindsay's father - but she was relieved that he wasn't hanging around anymore.
Eager to steer the subject away from herself, Catherine turned it back to Sara.
"So, how many weeks is it now? You must have a scan due soon."
Sara looked down at her front, slightly uncomfortable with herself as the subject, not with actually being pregnant.
"Twenty. Ultrasound is today, three o'clock."
"It'll be so cool seeing your baby for the first time. Makes it more real somehow. Least it did for me."
Catherine found herself curiously envious of Sara. After a moments thought she knew that it wasn't that she wanted to be pregnant or have another child, but that she had realised that her choice about having another child was coming to an end. Fertility after thirty-five dropped significantly and she wouldn't be seeing forty again. Pity in a way. Warrick would make a great dad.
"It already seems very real to me. But that's because it's moving around so much. It's really weird."
Catherine laughed in remembrance.
"I know! I used to lie in the tub and watch the bumps and knocks of the baby's elbows or heels move across my stomach. Terrifying and awesome."
Sara looked out of the passenger window and into the night, oddly moved by what Catherine had said. Terrifying and awesome. The responsibility of looking after another life, in one capacity or another, for the rest of her life. A lot like being in love.
It was a sobering thought.
Sara was aware that Catherine was still talking and zoned back into the conversation just as the older woman asked if she would bring the scan picture in.
"Sure, probably. But I'm not pinning it on the noticeboard. It's still very personal."
"Of course. Grissom would freak anyway."
Sara smiled, nodding.
"Yeah, in case it was a boy and anyone spotted that it had his…nose."
Both women looked at each other for a long beat then burst out laughing.
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Sara stopped by Grissom's office on her way home. He was on the telephone but waved her to a seat and briskly wound up the call.
"…thanks again, Nick. I owe you one."
Grissom paused to hear the other party's response then smiled briefly.
"I'm sure you will."
He hung up the handset and looked at Sara, his eyes warm.
"Off home?"
Sara nodded. To her, home was now wherever Grissom was with her, so she felt the need to clarify what she meant.
"My apartment."
"Oh."
Grissom was aware of feeling disappointed but hoped that he had hidden it from Sara. For a moment he had assumed that she meant the townhouse. She had her own key and stayed more often than not, but it had not escaped his notice that she had not made any real effort to 'move in' with him. Aside from a few toiletries and some spare work clothes, there was nothing to show that anyone else was living there. He opened his mouth to ask her why this was so, when there was a knock on the open office door. He looked up and Sara turned her head as Greg came in. Greg nodded to Sara, and then looked at Grissom.
"I'd like to speak to you, is this a bad time?"
Greg saw Grissom glance at Sara, presumably to see if they had finished whatever they were discussing.
Sara smiled at Greg as she got to her feet.
"No, we're done. Grissom, see you tonight. Greg, likewise."
Sara turned to go and heard Greg ask if it was okay with Grissom if he came in early for a couple of hours and have some practice at dusting and lifting prints, for the next stage of his field work.
Grissom saw no immediate reason why not – other than he would rather be with Sara - until it occurred to him to ask about the time Greg had in mind.
"About two?"
Grissom didn't need to see Sara frantically shake her head behind Greg to remember why the time was unsuitable.
"Sorry, I have something on at three, but if you can come in later it would suit me better. How about seven?"
Greg looked faintly surprised that Grissom had any kind of a life away from the lab but quickly nodded in agreement.
"Sure, seven is fine. I'll be here."
Greg turned quickly to leave and nearly ran into Sara, who he thought had already gone. He made his apologies and left the office.
Sara walked back to Grissom's desk. He stood up and turned off the desk lamp. They looked at each other in the semi dark.
"You want to meet there, or ?"
Sara didn't get chance to finish. Grissom politely but firmly butted in.
"I need to collect some fresh clothes from my place then I'll join you at your place in about half an hour. We'll get some rest and I'll drive you to the hospital. We're in this together, for better or worse, remember?"
Sara hid her satisfaction behind a small smile as she headed for the door. She deliberately kept her voice low as they stepped out into the corridor, glancing casually around to make sure that they were alone.
"Yes, I remember. Sure we'll sleep?"
Grissom's dryly-amused voice was just as quiet as he shut the door to his office.
"No doubt whatsoever. Just can't promise when."
Sara was still smiling as they walked out to their respective vehicles, just colleagues leaving work at the same time as they had done so often in the past. It was light out, still reasonably cool but promising to be another hot day.
They climbed into their vehicles and Grissom waited until Sara had started her engine and pulled away before he drove off. Sara smiled widely. Her husband was a very sweet man given half a chance.
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"Come on, drink up."
Sara looked at her husband and scowled. To think that she had thought him 'sweet'. He looked every inch the tyranical Supervisor; there was hardly any husband visible at all. Her resentment increased in proportion to the pressure on her bladder.
"I can't drink any more. My tonsils are afloat. My gills are awash. I'm drowning here."
Grissom looked at her over his glasses, his eyebrows raised at her rebellious tone.
"You don't have any tonsils at your age, and I've never noticed any gills during my extensive exploration of your very attractive un-fishlike body."
He pointed to a paragraph on the letter from the hospital.
"It says here one and a half litres of water. Two more glasses to go. You want to see the baby, don't you? Drink up."
Sara muttered under her breath as she crossed to the sink to fill her glass again. Grissom turned to her, his expression mild.
"Actually that's not technically true. My parents were married before I was born."
Sara managed not to choke as she drank. She kept forgetting how efficient his hearing was these days. She glared at him over the rim of her glass. It didn't have any impact at all.
The last few minutes before they left for the appointment were less than harmonious. Sara might have found it more bearable if she hadn't – correctly – got the impression that Grissom found the whole thing amusing.
Just to add insult to injury, he went and used the bathroom just before they left the townhouse. The sound of running water made Sara cross her legs in desperation.
"You did that deliberately!"
Grissom came up to where Sara was almost hopping from one foot to the other by the front door. He looked surprised by the accusation.
"I did not. I didn't want to miss anything during the scan because I needed to 'go' when I got there."
Sara passed him his jacket with a lot more force than was entirely necessary and glared at him again.
"Well, put it this way buster; you brake suddenly and you get to pick up the tab for cleaning the Denali, okay?"
Grissom wisely kept his amusement hidden as he agreed. He hoped to heaven that they weren't running late in the clinic.
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They were running late at the clinic.
The receptionist was apologetic, but they were at least fifteen minutes behind on the appointment times. Sara was worried that her desperation for the toilet would overshadow the first sight of their baby. Grissom watched her go past him for the fourth or fifth time, glaring at both the wall clock and her wristwatch, as if it would have made any difference.
"Sara, come and sit down. You're making everyone nervous."
Sara looked around at the other couples after Grissom's softly spoken statement. Mostly bored men and anxious looking women. She came and sat down beside him, leaned towards him and whispered.
"They are not nervous. The women are worried that they are going to burst, just like I am."
Grissom couldn't help the twitch of his lips at her comment and he risked at sideways look at Sara in the hope that she could see the funny side too.
He was relieved to see that her gaze was warm with impish humour. He took her right hand in his left, threading his fingers through hers and Sara gave him an answering squeeze. They were so busy with the non-verbal communication that they almost missed the nurse's call.
"Mrs. Sara Grissom!"
Judging by the resigned exasperation in the woman's voice, it was not the first time that Sara had been called.
Both she and Grissom looked up. Sara put her hand up like a child and started to get up.
"Oh, that's me. Umm, us. Here."
Grissom noted with mild dismay that they were the focus of everyone's amused attention and it wasn't helped when Sara turned to him and muttered,
"I haven't gotten used to the 'Mrs Grissom' thing yet. I don't hear it enough."
Grissom stood up too, his hand still holding Sara's. Pride replaced his dismay at being the centre of attention. This fabulous woman was with him. As they started to follow the Nurse, Grissom looked at his wife and smiled.
"Funny, my mother says the same thing."
"Grissom!"
Sara's gaze snapped straight to Grissom's in amused disbelief. She could not believe that he was actually joking about his mother's deafness. His voice was mild as he explained.
"Just because I was reluctant to share my increasing deafness with anyone does not mean that I was ashamed of it. I just didn't know which way that I was going to deal with it. Until I did, it was no one's business but my own."
Sara remembered how shut out she had felt when she finally found out about his otosclerosis and the corrective surgery. She stopped still and turned to him.
"That was fair at the time, typical private 'you'. But I need you to promise me that you will tell me in future if there is anything - "
Grissom interrupted, one of his fingers gentle on Sara's lips.
"I promise. Anything important."
While they were talking they had been moved into an anteroom next to the scan room. The nurse gave Sara a clipboard with a form attached and asked her to complete the details.
"You will be next in. When you're finished, please leave by the other door and return to reception, where we can finish up any paperwork. Any questions?"
Sara and Grissom looked at each other, then back at the nurse.
"No, we're good, thanks."
The nurse left them alone for several minutes, during which time Sara completed the form and signed it. Grissom made no attempt to hide the fact that he was reading it too.
"How did you know that information about me? My blood group and that other 'personal stuff'."
Sara grinned.
"I'm an investigator. I investigated."
"Hmm…I'll let that pass for now."
Grissom leaned forward slightly and tapped the form.
"Aren't you going to mention the otosclerosis under the inherited - "
Sara pulled the clipboard from under his hand.
"I'm not worried about it, and it won't make any difference to me if the scan shows me that the baby has 'I'll be deaf' tattooed on its forehead, I'll still love it."
Grissom didn't doubt it for a moment. He was touched by her vehemence. He was still trying to tell Sara how he felt about it when the scan nurse came to collect them.
Within a few short minutes Sara was up on the bed, her shirt rolled up and her slacks undone and parted, with paper towelling tucked around the material to protect it from the contact gel. Sara was more used to the invasion of her personal space now than prior to her pregnancy, but she did feel oddly exposed with Grissom here. Which was absurd when she considered how much of her that he had seen up close and personal.
Grissom watched with interest from his position beside the head of the bed as the sonographer set up for the scan. The monitor was turned away from the couple. She turned to them, looking mainly at Sara as she took a bottle of gel and upended it, shaking it to move the gel closer to the bottle's nozzle.
"Okay, I guess that you'll know from your prenatal visits already what the scan is about. Do you have any questions?"
As Sara shook her head, Grissom looked at her with mild shock. It had not occurred to him that she was already having prenatal appointments. She hadn't mentioned anything to him about them. She hadn't taken any time at work to go… He felt an idiot. Of course she wouldn't need time off. She obviously went during the day. He was sorry that he had missed them, and actually a little angry that Sara hadn't told him about the appointments.
He managed to set the matter aside for now. He wanted to enjoy sharing this with Sara at least.
"Sorry, this may be a little cold at first."
Sara didn't flinch as the blob of clear gel landed on her stomach. The ultrasound wand was stuck in it without ceremony and moved around, spreading the goo. The sonographer worked for a few moments, moving the wand back and forth over various parts of Sara's belly, pausing here and there. Sara obviously thought that it was taking too long and her hand crept into Grissom's.
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled a little. He was as much in the dark as she was but he knew that he needed to do something.
"Okay."
When the woman finally spoke Sara nearly jumped in surprise. The sonographer turned the monitor so that both Sara and Grissom could see the screen. At first glance the shifting black and white masses didn't really mean anything to either of them, but gradually things began to sort themselves out. With one hand guiding the wand, the technician pointed out various landmarks.
"This here is the spine." She ran a finger along a little row of pearls on the screen. " This is the head, the ribs with the heartbeat – that fluttering here, see? An arm, a leg…do you want to know the baby's sex?"
"No."
Both Sara and Grissom had spoken in unison. They looked at each other, then at the other woman. Grissom spoke for them both.
"We would like it to be a surprise."
Sara nodded in agreement. The sonographer smiled.
"It's funny, but most people don't want to know. One of my patients said that it was like wrapping your own Christmas presents. You already knew what was inside."
She took the measurements of the baby's spinal length and head diameter and a couple of other figures, writing down her findings. She requested a printout photo, then turned to the couple with a smile.
"One last thing. My favourite bit."
She moved the wand a little more with one hand and turned a dial on the monitor with the other. A rapid rhythm filled the air. Sara's grin was ear to ear, her eyes bright. Grissom was fascinated by the sound. It seemed very fast to him, but neither Sara nor the other woman seemed concerned. His gaze flitted between Sara's face, her belly and the screen. This was their baby's heartbeat. Suddenly the baby was real for Grissom. It wasn't just a positive pregnancy test – though he'd missed that too – or a rounded tummy or an intellectual exercise. It was a real baby. His baby.
He was speechless.
Sara had not been aware of how concerned she had been about the baby being all right. Now that they had been given the news that all was well she was surprised how much more relieved she felt. Now if she could just make it to a toilet without embarrassing herself she would be one happy woman. She was handed some paper tissues to clean up the gel, and quickly sorted herself out. She swung her legs off the table and Grissom helped her to get down.
Grissom dealt with all the paperwork, paying for the scan and collecting the photoprint of the baby while Sara headed for the facilities with all the reluctance of a teenager going shopping with her Dad's gold card. She was gone a while.
It wasn't until they were in the Denali on the way back to her apartment that Sara had a chance to have a good look at the scan. She held the print in her hands while Grissom drove.
"Catherine was right. It does make a difference."
Grissom didn't need her to explain what she meant.
"Yes. Yes, it does."
Grissom only briefly removed his gaze from the road to Sara. He was acutely aware that he just could not find the words to convey how amazed and humbled he felt at what Sara was going through. He remembered saying once that it was a mother's instinct to protect their offspring. He had just discovered nature's crafty trick. Fathers could feel the same way. He wanted to wrap Sara up and keep her and the baby safe.
One thing he knew for certain. There was no way his child was going to have parents on the opposite side of the country.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Grissom looked at his watch and then at Sara's sleeping form. It was time for him to go into work and tutor Greg, but he was reluctant to wake Sara when she could have several more hours sleep. In the end he wrote a short note and left it on her bedside table, so that it would be the first thing that she saw when she woke up.
As Grissom drove to work he realised that he hadn't thought about his missing memories today. Until now, of course. It still annoyed him at times, but he tried not to dwell on the lost time at the cabin and the fact that he felt as if Sara had been there with a stranger.
When he arrived at work he was surprised to find Catherine there. He had expected her to be off enjoying herself with Warrick.
"Catherine?"
Catherine looked up and blew her bangs out of her eyes. She waved a hand with vague annoyance.
"I know, I know. I'm not doing a 'Sara'; I've just come in to collect a bag that I left here last night. Linds needs it tonight and I bought it specially, so…here I am. Going now."
Grissom smiled as Catherine walked past him, bag in hand.
"See you later."
"Don't work Greg too hard."
"Who, me?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sara woke up with a start, wondering what had wakened her. She looked at her watch and frowned. She had slept longer than she had intended, but she still had a few hours before she was due into work. She had turned over to get out of bed when she saw Grissom's note. She picked it up and unfolded it.
'Didn't want to wake you, you look so comfortable. See you later tonight, G. P.S. You are nearly out of milk, eggs and you could do with some bread. Call me if you want me to get anything this evening.'
Sara half-smiled; he was such a romantic. Not. She climbed out of bed and went for a shower. She would go and get the foodstuffs before Grissom came back prior to returning to work tonight. As she washed her hair Sara ran through a 'to do' list in her head. Food, get some laundry done, tidy up and…something else was bugging her. Oh yeah, get back to Horatio Caine.
After having some fruit to keep her going, Sara picked up her purse, keys and a jacket and left the apartment. She drove to the store, thinking that she would probably buy more than she intended and didn't want to have to carry all that weight back by hand, even though it was only a couple of blocks.
Sara searched in her purse for her cellphone as she walked the few metres from the parking lot to the convenience store. She thought that she would give Grissom a call to let him know that she was doing the shopping, so that he need not. The fact that she wanted to talk to him just to hear his voice was mere coincidence. The cell proved elusive and Sara looked up to walk, only half her mind on the hand searching blindly through the contents of her purse. She gave up on the cell for the moment as she detoured around a car with its engine running parked close to the store, mentally commenting on the laziness of some people not willing to walk the few yards from the lot.
Sara walked in to the store, collected a basket and headed straight for the cold section along the back wall. She was distracted on the way by the egg section in the last aisle and spent a few minutes looking for her usual brand of free-range eggs before heading for the bread section.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Grissom watched carefully as Greg followed his instructions and lifted the lid off the fuming tank, standing well back so that the fumes could dissipate. Inside the tank a sheet of Perspex now displayed a couple of white fingerprints where previously there had been none visible. Greg was just lifting the sheet out when Grissom's cell went off. The younger man flinched but didn't drop the sheet, taking it out and laying it on the lab bench as Grissom answered his call.
"Grissom…what's up, Jim?"
Grissom was surprised that Brass would call him now, as he wouldn't be aware that he was actually in the lab. He frowned as he listened to the detective.
"No, I'm at work. Sara? No, she's not here. She's - "
Grissom looked up and caught Greg's eye, realising that he had nearly let the cat out of the bag.
"I expect she's at her place. Have you tried her cell? Is there a problem?"
Greg looked at his boss and mentor. He would later claim, quite truthfully, that he saw Grissom go white with shock.
"Yes, I know the place, it's a couple of blocks from Sara's…what? Are you sure it's hers?"
Grissom stood upright, fear making the epinephrine course around his body, preparing him for fight or flight. A headache blossomed inside his skull and he could feel his pulse throb in his forehead. To Greg he appeared to get bigger somehow.
"Well keep looking! I'll go and check her place. No, I'll call one of the others, you stay where you're needed. Keep me informed."
Grissom closed the cell and pulled open his lab coat, shucking it off without ceremony and throwing it on a lab stool. He paused only long enough to wash his hands automatically after years of ingrained habit.
"Grissom?"
Greg didn't know what was going on, but anything that lit a fire under this man had to be important.
Grissom looked at Greg without really seeing him.
"Brass has been called to a convenience store robbery that's gone wrong. The clerk pushed the alarm and the police got there so quickly that the robber has now holed up in the store with God knows how many hostages."
Grissom paused, the superstitious primitive in him afraid to voice his fear aloud in case it made it true.
"It's near Sara's apartment. Her car is in the parking lot. But she isn't."
Greg looked stricken. He began pulling at his own labcoat and gloves. Grissom hit the speed dial and put his cell to his ear. He listened for a few moments and swore with a fervency that shocked Greg. Grissom hit another button and listened again, starting to walk as he spoke.
"Catherine, I need you to meet me at Sara's place. I don't care…."
He succinctly explained the situation and Catherine immediately stopped her protest. By this time both Grissom and Greg had left the lab and were on their way out to Grissom's Denali. Within moments the SUV tore out of the parking lot with Greg still trying to plug in his seat belt.
Grissom frowned blackly, his head pounding so much it made his teeth hurt. He was berating himself for leaving Sara a note about the food, for not being with her, for not having her at the townhouse and for anything else he could beat himself up about. He felt utterly powerless. Guilt is a terrible thing and if anything bad happened to Sara he would never forgive himself.
Greg felt sick. He thought of all the times that he had talked to Sara even if she had teased him and put him down in favour of Grissom. Not to be able to talk to her again didn't bear thinking about.
Grissom had acquired a mantra; 'Sara's at her place' repeated endlessly through his brain. He desperately needed it to be true. The journey seemed to take forever, but eventually they arrived at Sara's apartment. Grissom looked up and saw that Sara's lights were on, but that didn't mean anything as it had been dark when he left for the lab and he had left the lights on.
The elevator seemed to crawl up the building before finally disgorging Grissom and Greg on Sara's floor. Both men hurried up to the apartment, only to find Catherine banging on the door and ringing the bell. She looked at Grissom with relief.
"There's no answer. Do you have your key?"
Grissom slumped with despair. He remembered leaving the key on the dresser in the bedroom, having put it down to write Sara's note.
"No, I left it here earlier."
Grissom was only peripherally aware of the expression of dawning comprehension on Greg's face. He didn't care anymore. From now on there would be no more secrets. Sara was his wife and if that upset the lab rat, then, so what?
"Do you know if she has a spare one left with a neighbour somewhere?"
Catherine's question made Grissom's head jerk up, a sudden picture in his mind.
"No, she didn't."
He turned to the pot of cacti plants beside the door and unerringly picked the hollow 'stone' cactus. He scooped it up, peeled off the lid and shook out the spare key, and then quickly used it to undo the door. The three of them entered the apartment, seeing in a glance that Sara was not in the main room. Grissom hurried through to the bedroom in the hope that she was asleep.
The bed was empty.
Greg and Catherine could tell from his expression that Sara was not there. Catherine looked puzzled as she looked at the fake cactus still in Grissom's hands.
"Grissom, how did you know that there was a key in that thing?"
He turned to Catherine, his mind only half on what he was saying.
"I found it the night Sara broke a vase - "
Grissom's voice cut off abruptly as an excruciating band of pain tightened around his skull. He dropped the fake cacti as he brought his hands up to his head in shock, convinced for a moment that he was having a stroke or something. The pain was phenomenal.
But suddenly, along with the pain there were flashes of memory, fractions of pictures adding themselves, more and more, like a river of jigsaw pieces, each building on the last until the river became a torrential flood; Sara, all Sara. In the cabin kitchen, the hot tub, on their wedding day, eating soup, laughing, lying under him in the rain, silk, bed, pie, love, so much love, dear God he couldn't take it all in, it was too much, too much! Make it stop!
"No! I can't – stop!"
He was unaware that he had spoken aloud as he held his head, his eyes squeezed shut to try to stem the flow of images.
"Grissom? Gil? Gil!"
Catherine's alarmed cry was lost on the man who had fallen to his knees under the weight of his reacquired memories. His brain couldn't absorb it all in one go and shut down in self-defence. Grissom collapsed, out cold.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Brass was sheltering behind a short wall several metres away from the convenience store. The night gave them the advantage, they could see in, but probably little could be seen of them from inside the store. The situation was at an impasse while they were waiting to see which way the situation was going to go with the negotiator.
He was talking on his radio, when he heard one of the older policemen say in a calm quiet voice.
"There is movement."
Brass put his radio to his mouth and sent out a general warning to the waiting police. No sudden moves. Think of the hostages. He tried not to think of Sara. He raised his weapon in his right hand, just in case.
Without any warning several shots were heard from inside the store. The marksman fired one single shot in. There was a sudden ear-achingly-quiet lull.
Brass' radio squawked, making him jump.
"The man is down. The man is down. There are casualties."
Brass swore aloud, then used his radio.
"Hold your positions! No one is to move in until the place has been cleared. Hold your position!"
He prayed on everything that was holy that, by some miracle, Sara was all right. Anything other than that good news, was not something that he wanted to give to Grissom.
Ten more minutes elapsed while the building was checked for further accomplices. None were found and Brass finally got the go ahead to move in.
With his heart in his mouth, Brass walked towards the store.
TBC.