Salvaging an Angel
By Shade
"Am I dead?" That was the question that continued to run through Squall's mind. He could almost make out the words on the backs of his eyelids, floating in and out of a half conscious state. There was no concept of time. He only heard an occasional voice but they didn't sound like they were talking to him, only one another. He chose to ignore their frenzied voices and focus upon avoiding the pain. The worst of it was at the back of his head. It hurt a lot, too much. He made the conscious decision to leave it.
What came next wasn't much of anything really. He floated somewhere dark for some time asking the same question. "Am I dead?" He'd waited so long for some sort of answer. When still none came he began to sob "It isn't fair! I don't want to die. Am I dead already?! Am I dead?!"
"I don't think so."
Squall suddenly felt the presence of body but a light one, the sort of body you used in dreams. The kind you could fly in. It was incredibly easy to sit up, no pain in his head or in the rest of his body. The endless darkness had now become light and though it still gave him no real bearings he was slightly relieved. As his eyes panned around he realized it was a young man who had answered his question. He was tall, lean, and slightly muscular, a fact accentuated by the absence of a shirt. His posture was relaxed, shoulders slightly hunched and hands stuffed in the pockets of baggy white jeans. Studying Squall he tossed his head and shrugged an impressive pair of ivory wings impatiently. Squall realized just how long he had been silent. The angel hadn't caught him off guard. The golden hair and jade green eyes had.
He hurried to gather his thoughts and found his fears came back without much effort at all "How do you know?"
The angel seemed to note the sheer terror in Squall's eyes and hesitated before answering truthfully "I guess I don't know for sure."
"Oh," Squall dropped his eyes then tucked in his knees. In only moments he was crying fiercely "I don't want to die."
"I know."
Squall felt strong arms wrap around him and the brush of feathers against his skin "It isn't fair," He sobbed, pressing his face against the angel's chest. A comforting warmth spread through him as noted the wings closing completely around his body "Dying alone is even worse."
"I'm with you," That voice was sweeter and clearer than he could have imagined. He suddenly found comfort here with someone he knew must be only a dream. An extension of an unattainable reality at best.
"Seifer?"
"Yeah?"
"You know this is all your fault."
"I know."
Squall leaned back slightly. The figure before him pulled back as well, wings folding upon his back. They met each other's eyes and Squall found himself leaning forward once more. His fingertips grazed those beautiful, feathery wings without thinking and let out a sharp cry when the touch burned him. Seifer sank back as if he had been burned himself. He stood in a hurry, darting back through the blank space, away from Squall. Nursing his hand, Squall watched him rush into a sudden bloom of shadow. The feather's from those wings smoldered and fell, vanishing completely before he disappeared himself deep into the darkness. Seifer was gone and the blackness was spreading, closing in quickly on Squall.
The darkness became a reddish pink then blurry but light. His eyes were open. Squall didn't feel quite as relieved as he thought he would, only incredibly sore again. His ears picked up a faint beeping sound and as he moved his eyes from the ceiling to one side of his bed he realized it was coming from a machine...one of many machines at his bedside...
I must be in the hospital, he reasoned. It made sense. The room was a sterile white and out of the corner of his eyes he saw someone curled up in a chair. A shock of shoulder length ebony hair made him suspect it was his father. How long had Laguna been here?...How long had he been here?...It was only now that he decided to inspect his own injuries. But it was hard to move his neck and consequently it was hard to see anything. He could make out his left arm, saw a cast around his wrist. His legs were stiff though, hard to feel.
"Squall!"
Squall looked up again as a hoarse voice called his name. Soon Laguna was leaning over him, embracing him gingerly. "You're awake," He pulled away and Squall was shocked to find that his father seemed at least ten years older than last he had seen him. He was tired, appeared utterly exhausted but there was still genuine concern to his voice "How are you feeling?"
Squall opened his mouth to respond but no words came. Laguna only shook his head "I'm going to go get a doctor. I'll be right back."
His eyes closed again. Squall wasn't concerned that he wouldn't wake up. Not this time.
A broken wrist, a concussion, broken collarbone, and something else that Squall didn't quite understand save that he couldn't walk without therapy. The details left him queasy and his father visibly upset. "You're alive, that's the important thing," Laguna rationalized once the doctor left, brushing Squall's hair back behind his ears "Are you feeling all right? The doctors can give you stronger pain medication if not."
Squall began to shake his head but at the first sign of pain decided it was time to try speaking "I'm fine," His voice was hoarser than his father's had been when he had just woken up.
Laguna took a seat on the edge of the mattress, his voice lowering slightly and his forced smile fading "The kid who brought you in said you were walking home and that the wind and rain made you loose your balance. He said he saw it happen."
That made Seifer sound like some kind of hero. Squall wasn't sure what he thought of Seifer but he certainly didn't deserve to be a hero...but if he told the true story...Squall said nothing and Laguna let the question slip. Squall had been through enough. That question could wait. Now he smiled again, standing once more "I called Zell and Selphie once you were up. They've been dropping by every day. I'm sure they're here by now. Do you want me to tell the nurse to let them in?"
Squall managed a weak smile, more to cheer up his father than himself "Yeah," Before Laguna could leave he continued "You know you can go home if you want...I'm fine now...Get some rest."
Laguna seemed about to object but only came to the bed one last time and kissed his son on the forehead "You scared the hell out of me Squall...I hope you're not just trying to get rid of me right now..."
Squall couldn't help but smile a bit more genuinely this time "No...I want you to come back tomorrow...You have work to think about too."
"Mm," Laguna nodded "You have school too so you better get well quickly."
"How much have I missed?" Squall still didn't know how long he had been in the hospital.
Laguna only shook his head "I'll go get your friends. They can fill you in on that much better than I can. I'll see you tomorrow."
Squall smiled, offering a half wave to his father as he left. The arm he used was red and swollen from the iv. Squall wondered if he would ever find some relief from all this pain. Something of a relief came when he saw Zell and Selphie rush into his room.
"Squall!" Selphie was the first to hug him. He groaned at first and she was forced to loosen your grip "Oh Squall you're all right! I was so worried. We both were. Zell especially. All he did was blame himself for not driving you home that day."
"Selphie shut up," Zell's voice sounded weak but Selphie complied, straightening and stepping back.
Squall watched Zell from across the room. He looked on edge and ashamed. His eyes were on the floor, hanging close to the wall "What are you doing?" Zell looked up and Squall motioned him over or at least did what passed for such a movement. Zell came to him just the same "I've got someone else to blame for this and it's not you," Squall said dismissively.
Zell looked up "Who?"
"Neither of you. Now how long have I been here?" No one dared change the subject back.
"Seven days tonight," Zell's voice became faster, more frantic "They said you might not wake up, that if you didn't wake up in a week the chances of you waking up at all were next to none. I-"
"Quiet, you're giving me a headache," Squall patted the mattress lightly, instructing him to sit. Zell sat obediently, falling deathly silent "How are things at school?" Squall asked as Selphie pulled up a chair.
"The same. No different," Selphie said when Zell didn't answer.
Squall felt a bit let down. In other words no one cared that he was gone. "Was Seifer there?"
Selphie grinned "So that was who you were dreaming about all this time," she laughed and continued "I didn't see him for a few days but yeah. I guess he had some injury during football practice. Looks like he broke his arm and took a few good whacks upside the head," She seemed amused even by this. Her opinion of Seifer wasn't very high though she did find him terribly attractive.
Broke his arm? Squall tried to remember if he had been hurt before he took him to the hospital or if it had happened while he was helping him back up the hill. He didn't think he had been hurt.
"Squall?"
Squall realized that Zell had spoken, was watching him with a trouble expression "Yeah?"
"You didn't just trip did you?" His voice was low and Selphie leaned closer as if she hadn't heard.
"You heard what happened Zell," Squall's voice had a warning tone to it "I'm tired. Let me get some rest will you?"
Zell stood and Selphie hugged Squall one last time before heading for the door "Take care Squall."
Once she left the room looked back to Squall "I'm sorry Squall...I...didn't mean to...I should have...Damnit," He wrapped his arms around Squall's neck. Squall could feel him shaking and managed to move his left hand to rest on the other's back "I know someone did this to you Squall. You don't get a black eye falling down a hill. All you have to do is tell me who did it Squall, I'll get them back for you."
"...Zell..." Squall didn't have to say anything more. Zell got the point.
"Get well soon Squall, I'll see you around," He sounded embarrassed and Squall could see that his eyes were watering and he was still visibly shaken.
"Come back and visit me all right?" Squall sighed as Zell left. He was too tired to call after him and it was mere moments before he was asleep again.
Time passed quickly for Squall. The combination of pain medication and concussion kept him asleep through the majority of his days in the hospital. It seemed like only a few days before he was back at home. He didn't see much of Zell or Selphie though Laguna assured him that they visited often.
Squall's head cleared before the doctors had thought it would and before long he was insisting he go back to school. He'd missed enough to begin with. He doubted he would be able to make up all the work he had lost but he had to at least try to salvage what he could.
Now Squall was in Zell's car, pulling into the school parking lot. He hadn't thought it would be nearly this embarrassing. He had yet to start any sort of rehabilitation. The idea of needing it was humiliating really but he was sure a wheel chair would draw attention he really didn't want.
Zell got the wheel chair out of the back, Squall insisting that he needed no help in getting out of the car. He told Zell and Selphie to go on. Things had been different between he and Zell lately. He was sharper than Squall often took him for.
"Do you want me to help you through the halls?" Zell offered, his voice noticeably weaker than Squall would have liked. It was as if Squall had let him down...But he wasn't sure he wanted to tell anyone what had really happened...Not just yet...if ever...
"I'll be fine," Squall assured him. He rolled the chair forward. Though his wrist was still broken the had been engineered so that he needed only use one arm. Even so getting up the ramp to the school was difficult. "Damnit," He grumbled, getting up the worst of the ramp and through the front doors. He felt pathetic.
By the time the bell rang Squall was still in the hallway and Zell and Selphie had parted ways to attend to their own business. Squall shifted the books on his lap and pulled up in front of the correct door. When he finally managed to get the door open one of the girl's nearest the entrance shrieked "Oh! What happened?!"
As if she really cared. Squall doubted she even knew his name. Squall didn't answer and merely maneuvered around the lab to the back of the class. There were a few more "concerned" inquiries but soon the class was back on class and Squall was pulling out his notebook.
Ten minutes into the lesson Squall realized he was hopelessly lost. He groaned and hung his head. At least he didn't have to share a station with anyone. At least that was still the same. He scanned the classroom. All the same students here, all the same students missing. Seifer had this period but seldom came to class. The coach liked to squeeze in a bit of practice before school. That meant Seifer often missed the better half of class without damage to his grade. So it certainly surprised Squall when he saw the door flung open and Seifer enter, winded "Sorry I'm late," He muttered, heading to the back of the class.
Squall opened his mouth as if to call out to him but stopped himself. Why did he want to see that bastard? This was all his fault. Seeing him was the last thing he wanted.
Clearly the feeling was mutual. Seifer froze halfway back. His eyes met Squall's as they had at the hospital and Squall saw his breath catch. Breaking the gaze abruptly Seifer rushed for his own seat and sat down. He quickly pulled out his own notebook and opened it. Seifer hardly ever took notes so Squall wasn't convinced by the act...but the cast on his arm was convincing...Squall found himself watching Seifer's back, worrying over that broken arm of his until the bell rang, Seifer fled, and he came to his senses.
That concussion did more than you think. You've lost your mind.
A/N: All right, I'm exhausted and the soonest I can get access to the internet is tomorrow so this chapter will have to end here. I hope it was decent. I know much didn't happen but things will pick up significantly in chapter three. Please keep reviewing. Reviews don't take long, I promise and even a word or two means the world to me...though to those of you that leave long, thoughtful reviews...I love you most of all.