Again I won nothing.
When Rhett woke up he wasn't sure where he was. Then like a title wave the memories from the night before came rushing back to him. 'What did I do? How could I have let myself go like that? She is going to think that I love her and want to be with her. I have to leave. I have to get out.' Rhett jumped up from the bed, careful not to wake Scarlett up and ran to his room. He knew if he wanted to leave he would have to do it before Scarlett woke up.
Scarlett woke up late that morning to a sun lit room, with birds chirping outside. Everything in the world was perfect. Rhett had confessed his love for her, he had also said many other things that contradicted that, but who cared he said he loved her. Scarlett rolled over to find Rhett was already gone and his side of the bed was cold. Her heart sank, 'Where could he be. The last time he left after we…He went to that Belle's. Surely he wouldn't do that again. This time was different, I know it was. He was so nice yesterday.' As she rolled back over, she noticed a letter on the nightstand. It had her name scratch across it in Rhett's neat handwriting. Scarlett was afraid to open the letter, worried what she might find. She knew however if she wanted answers she would have to read it.
Dear Scarlett,
I can not express how sorry I am for last night. I took advantage of you in your emotional state. I myself was not in the right state of mind. I said things that I didn't mean, as I'm sure you did too. As I said before I no longer love you. Last night I was just releasing all of my pent up emotions. With that said I must tell you that I must not and will not ever be able to see you again. I am sorry for everything about our lives together. We were just not meant to be. I will ask you again for a divorce and I hope you will grant it. I will continue to provide for you and the house id yours. You can contact me through my lawyer. Do not try to find me Scarlett, it will not work. It's over Scarlett; I hope you will see that.
My deepest regrets,
Rhett
Scarlett threw the letter on the ground and threw herself back onto the bed. Her tears were endless. Her heart was completely broken. Rhett had just hurt her more than she could ever imagine recovering from. How could she live without him? She loved him now more than life itself. What was there left to live for? Bonnie was gone, Melanie was gone, and now Rhett was gone. Everyone she had ever cared for had left. What was there to do now? Then Scarlett heard the answer to her questions out in the hall.
Wade and Ella had just returned home from their extended stay in Macon. Scarlett had left so abruptly when she heard about Melanie that the children were left there. They were both devastated when they were told about their aunt Melly. It was even harder on them because they were in a place with people they didn't really know when they found out. Now they were both happy to be home. They wanted to see their mother and step father.
"Wade do you think we could go wake mother up? I really want to see her." Ella asked her big brother.
Wade was afraid of his mother and didn't want to upset her. He didn't know how she was taking the death of Melanie, "No Ella we better not. Let's let her sleep. I'm sure she'll wake up soon. Maybe Uncle Rhett is around."
When Wade said that he saw Mammy coming up the stairs. Both the children ran to the old woman and gave her a hug. Mammy was very much like a mother to them, especially with the way Scarlett treated them.
Mammy was overjoyed to see the children. She loved them very much, "Oh, it's so good to have you ins home. I bin missin' ya so much."
"We're glad to see you too Mammy," Ella exclaimed.
Wade was eager to know if Rhett was home, "Hello Mammy. Is Uncle Rhett here"
Mammy was somewhat agitated at Wade's thoughtless greeting, "Now Wade is that any way to grit yo ole mammy?"
"I'm sorry Mammy." Wade felt bad for upsetting Mammy.
Mammy could never stay mad at any of Scarlett's children, "Thas alright chile I knows you been missing yo parents. I is sorry at say that Mista Rhett ain't here though."
"Well then can we go outside and play?" Ella didn't want to be in the house any longer than she had to. It was so big and quiet without her little sister there.
"That would be fine," Mammy was glad that the children seemed to be recovering from their recent grievances well.
Wade knew Ella hated being in the house, but he couldn't go out to the yard knowing that was were Bonnie had her tragic fall. "How about instead we see if we can go get Beau and go to the park?"
Mammy knew Wade's reasons for not wanting to go into the yard, "Course you ins could do that too."
"Ok!" Wade knew Ella would say yes because she had a huge crush on Beau.
Scarlett had listened to their whole conversation. She realized much she didn't know about her oldest children. She couldn't believe it had been twelve years since Wade was born and seven years since Ella was born. They had been there with Scarlett through all the bad times, yet Scarlett had just ignored them. She realized how much they had been through in the last few weeks. Just as her they had lost Bonnie and Melanie, their baby sister and dear aunt. Melanie was more of a mother to them than she was. Right then Scarlett made a vow to be the mother her children needed. She realized they were the only thing she had left. They were now her only reason for living. She had to go on for them. No more crying over things that could never come back and that included Rhett.
With her mind now made up to move on, Scarlett got dressed to go meet her children at the park. She had decided that she shouldn't waste anymore time with her children.
"Wade, now can we… Mommy." Ella lost her train of thought as she saw her mother walking towards them. Scarlett opened her arms for a hug as her daughter ran to her.
"Hello darling how are you?" Scarlett was glad to see that her daughter was so glad to see her.
Ella was glad to see her mother in such a good mood, "I'm ok mother, but I missed you a lot."
"I missed you too baby. Wade come here and give me a hug." Scarlett was saddened at how stand offish Wade was being.
"How are you mother?" Wade asked as he gave her a shy hug. He knew she had been through a lot.
Scarlett was surprised at Wade's concern for her, "I'm alright sweetie. How are you two?"
"We're ok. We're glad to be home." Wade really felt awful about losing his aunt Melanie, but decided to keep it to himself.
Scarlett could see the pain and sorrow in Wade's eyes. She could tell he wasn't ready to talk about it though. "I'm glad your home too. Where is Beau? I thought he was with you two."
As she said that she noticed her nephew running towards them. "Aunt Scarlett," Beau yelled as he ran towards them. He had always loved being with his aunt. He gave her a long hug.
"Oh Beau it's so good to see you. How are you darling?" Scarlett was so worried that the loss of his mother had affected him terribly.
Beau knew that Scarlett was talking about his mother, "I miss her a lot, but I know she is with Uncle Charles and the angels know."
Beau's words brought tears to Scarlett's eyes. She fought as hard as she could to restrain them and they subsided for the time being. "Why don't we all go back to the house and have lunch together?" Scarlett was trying to get everyone's minds off the current subject.
"Ok" All the children replied glad to know that Scarlett would be joining them.
After lunch Beau announced that he should probably be going home, so they all said their goodbyes. Once Beau was out the door Scarlett turned to her children, "Why don't we go into the library so we can talk?" She knew her children would probably have a lot of questions about the last few days and she had things she needed to tell them. The library she knew was a place the children liked and it didn't hold too many unbearable memories. Scarlett led them into the library and took a seat on a settee. Ella sat next to her mother. Wade sat in a chair across from his mother and sister.
"Well, I'm not really sure where to start. I know that we have all been through a lot lately. I am sorry that you two have had to go through so much at such a young age. I want you to know that I am also sorry about how awful a mother I have been. I am going to try harder from now on." Scarlett wasn't sure if the silence form the children was a good thing or a bad one. As she looked closer Ella was crying and Wade was fighting back his tears.
"Mother, it's not your fault all of this happened. You're not a bad mother either. You've just had some much to take care of you haven't had the time to worry about us." Wade knew his mother had done what she had to in the past.
"Thank you Wade. I really am going to try harder though. I love you too very much. I hope you know that." Scarlett was amazed at how grown up Wade seemed.
"We know momma. We love you too." Ella had always known her mother loved her in her own way.
Scarlett hugged Ella, "Oh, you don't know how much that means to me darling," She was so happy that she had her children's love, "I want to get to know you two better. That would be a lot easier if we got out of this house. I was thinking about going to Tara soon what do ya'll think?"
"Oh yes momma that would be wonderful." Ella was so excited to have a reason to get out of the house.
Scarlett was glad that Ella was excited to go to Tara, "What do you think Wade?" She was afraid he wasn't happy with the decision.
"That would be wonderful mother, but I can't leave Beau here in town all alone. He needs me right now." Wade truly wanted to go to Tara.
Scarlett was glad Wade was thinking of his cousin, "I'll tell you what; I'll go talk to Uncle Ashley in the morning and ask him if Beau can go with us. How does that sound?"
"That sounds great mother. Thank you." Wade was so glad his mother would bring Beau.
"Momma, is Uncle Rhett going to be coming with us?" Ella hadn't seen her Uncle since they had gotten home and was beginning to wonder where he was.
Scarlett's face dropped at Ella's question. That was the first time anyone had mentioned Rhett since the children's earlier conversation with Mammy. She had forgotten that she still had to tell the children that Rhett wasn't coming back. Scarlett took a moment and then said, "Come over here and sit with us Wade." Scarlett wanted to be close to both of them as she broke the news.
Holding both their hands she slowly started to explain, "No Ella Uncle Rhett won't be coming with us. He has gone away and… and he isn't going to come back this time." A tear ran down Scarlett's face, as Wade put his arms around her waste.
"What do you mean? He has to come back he always comes back. Why wouldn't he this time?" Tears were building up in Ella's little eyes.
Scarlett's heart was breaking to see Ella so sad, "I'm sorry baby. I don't understand it either, but it's true." She knew that Ella just wasn't old enough to understand.
"But why?" Ella sobbed into her mother's chest. Scarlett clung to Ella tightly, now letting her own tears flow.
Wade realized with Rhett gone he was now the man of the house. He wasn't sure about the situation with Rhett, but knew Ella's insistent questions weren't helping his mother, "You see Ella sometimes people just have to go away. That's just the way things are."
"I just don't think it's fair. " Ella cried
"Nothing ever is darling," Scarlett said. After that no one else said a word. They sat together holding each other tightly. There was nothing left to say.
How long they had sat there Scarlett didn't know, but she did know it felt like forever. Both Wade and Ella had fallen asleep in her lap. She knew they all need to go to bed so she nudged Wade awake.
"Wade, honey are you awake?" Scarlett wasn't sure because she couldn't see his eyes.
Wade was still a little drowsy, "Yes momma I'm awake." Wade sat up rubbing the sleep from his face.
"We should all go to bed now." Scarlett said as she gathered Ella in her arms and stood up. They went upstairs without another word. Scarlett put Ella to bed as Wade got ready for bed. Once Ella was tucked in tight Scarlett went to check on Wade. He was just about to crawl into bed.
"Wade I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You were a big help to me earlier and the way you care about your cousin and sister is remarkable." As Scarlett talked she couldn't help but notice how much Wade looked like his father.
Wade was shocked at his mother's words, "Thank you momma. I'm glad to make you proud."
"You know Wade you remind me very much of your father. He was always devoted to his family members, especially to you aunt Melly. He was a great man and I know one day you will turn out to be just as great as him," Scarlett knew wasn't being completely honest with what she thought about Charles, she never thought of him as a great man, but he was a very devoted man.
Wade was so happy to hear his mother thought so highly of his father, "Momma you really think I will be as good as him some day"
Scarlett knew Wade had always looked up to the image of his father, "Of course darling, your well on the way to becoming that."
"Momma, do you think my father would be proud of me if he was here?" Wade was truly curious.
"Of course he would be sweetie. Now it's getting late, so into bed with you." Scarlett tucked Wade in and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"Goodnight momma. I love you."
"I love you too Wade, Goodnight." Scarlett slowly shut the door and went to her room.