Thanks for the reviews. It took me afew days to post again, but I've got the next couple chapters written. I hope ya'll like it. Please continue to Read and Review.
I don't anything about GWTW, of course.
When Scarlett woke she wasn't sure where she was. The last thing se remembered was going downstairs to meet with Rhett's lawyer. She realized it was know night and she was in her room. As she thought harder to remember what happened it all came back to her. She began sobbing into her pillow.
Scarlett's sobs woke Suellen up. She was sitting in a chair next to Scarlett's bed. "Scarlett are you awake?" She wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not.
Without answering Scarlett turned over to face her sister. Her faced was as white as it could be, except for her eyes that were red. Scarlett's image somewhat scared Suellen. It resembled a ghost, a tortured soul that couldn't move on.
"How are you feeling darlin' ?" Suellen could tell her sister wasn't doing good, but didn't no what else to say.
"How do you think?" Scarlett voice was so disturbingly hoarse and weak, it gave Suellen a shiver.
"Scarlett I am so sorry about what has happened. I know you must be in a lot of pain." Suellen wished she could take some of that pain away from her big sister.
"You don't know anything. Have you ever lost the one thing you truly cared about in the world?" Scarlett was angry at Suellen's thinking she knew how this felt.
Suellen wanted to say yes I do. When Scarlett had married Frank Kennedy that's exactly how she felt. She knew that wasn't what Scarlett needed to hear then, "No Scarlett I don't know what its like."
"Oh god I wish I was dead. There is nothing left. Even though Rhett was gone I always knew he would be there if I ever needed him. What am I to do without him?" Scarlett had always thought in the back of her mind that Rhett would come back when he had time to cool down.
Suellen was afraid of what her sister might do because she had said she wanted to die. "It's going to be hard Scarlett, but you're just going to have to move on. If not for yourself, do it for those of us who love you, Wade, Ella, Beau, Mammy, Will and me."
"I don't know if I can. I just don't know. Without Rhett in it the world isn't right." With that Scarlett resumed her crying until she again fell asleep.
When morning came Mammy was sitting at Scarlett's side. She was praying silently to herself. She was pleading with the lord to let her favorite child be alright.
"Rhett come back, oh god please come back." Scarlett was shouting in her sleep. As soon as the words left her mouth she sat straight up in her bed. She looked at Mammy, "Damn it, it really happened." Tears were running down her face.
Mammy was still uncertain what had just happened, "Good Mornin child."
Scarlett knew Mammy was trying to cheer her up, "Oh Mammy I…" She cut off short clutching her stomach with one hand and holding her mouth with another. She jumped from her bed, stumbled over to a wash basin, and vomited. She continued this for some time. When her stomach finally settled she slowly walked back to her bed. She hit the pillow resuming her tears.
"Honey chile yous got at calm down. You makin yo self sick." Mammy wanted so bad to help her lamb, but knew there was nothing she could do. This was one thing Mammy couldn't talk down with words. Scarlett loved Rhett more than anything she had ever loved in her life and Mammy was a first had witness to that.
"Please just leave me alone." Scarlett was getting tired of this constant watch over her.
"Alright I's leavin, but do try ta calming down a little." Mammy said the last part as she stepped out the door leaving Scarlett all alone with her thoughts.
'He's gone. What is there to do now? I know I said when he left that I would get over him, but this is different. He isn't coming back this time. How can this happen? I can't just forget him. Even though he's gone I still love him. How do you just stop loving some one? I will never stop loving him, never. I couldn't even if I wanted to. He is a part of me and I him. So if he's … dead that means part of me is dead too and that is how I feel. Oh I can't think about this now, I'll think about it tomorrow. Right now I need some fresh air.' Scarlett got out of bed and got dressed. When she went downstairs she saw Suellen and Mammy talking in the parlor. She knew they were talking about her because as she approached them they grew silent.
"Scarlett, it's good to see you out of bed." Suellen was shock to see Scarlett out of her room; she thought Scarlett would never leave there again.
"I thought I would go out for some air, so I'm going for a walk." Scarlett thought everyone might worry if she went out without telling anyone.
Suellen hoped this was a sign that maybe her sister would pull threw after all, "That's sounds wonderful Scarlett. Would you like me to go with you?"
"No, no I need to be alone still." She still wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone yet.
Understandingly Suellen said, "Okay."
Once Suellen gave her approval, not that Scarlett needed it; Scarlett turned and went out the front door. She didn't even bother to say goodbye to Suellen or say a word to Mammy.
Scarlett had no idea how long she had been walking or to where she was going. If someone had seen Scarlett and didn't know what she had just been through would have thought she was a crazy woman. She would be crying hysterically one minute and be laughing the next. She would laugh at good memories or cry at bad ones. She was trying to find someway to move on. Trying to think of some reason to care about the world again. When Scarlett finally looked up to see where she was, she was shocked. She was in the exact place Rhett and her had walked to when they came to Tara for their first visit after their honeymoon. Scarlett blushed as she remembered why Rhett had wanted to come out this far. Those had been the good days when Rhett would take her off alone and whisper things in her ears while nibbling on them. One thought popped into Scarlett mind that turned her shy smile into a distraught frown, 'That will never happen again.' Rivers where streaming down her pale face. Scarlett then bent over and for the second time today vomited. 'Mammy is right I have to calm down a little. I can't do that again, especially since I haven't eaten anything.' Realizing she hadn't eaten anything had also reminded Scarlett how hungry she was. So she started back to the house.
Scarlett was in the dinning room all alone trying to make herself eat something when Suellen came in. Event though Scarlett was hungry before, when she got her food that hunger disappeared. Suellen came in without a word and sat across from Scarlett.
"Scarlett we need to talk about a few things." Suellen wasn't sure if now was the time but decided to go for it anyway.
"If it's really important than ok." Scarlett wasn't sure if she could handle what Suellen had to say.
Glad to see Scarlett was willing to talk Suellen continued, "Well first of all we haven't told the children anything yet. They were outside yesterday, thankfully so they didn't her you. They just think you aren't feeling well."
Scarlett had yet to think about how this would affect her children, "Oh I can't tell them yet, but I want to be the one to tell them. They are going to be so devastated. They loved him so much. He was the only father they have ever known."
"Maybe it is wise to hold off telling them a while. It hasn't been very long since Melly and another loss like this couldn't be very good on them. Scarlett another thing is that Mrs. Butler wants to get in touch with you." This was now that part Suellen was unsure about. She had no idea of Scarlett's relationship with Rhett's mother or even if there was one.
Scarlett was at a loss, "You mean Rhett's mother?" Suellen shook her head yes, "What does she want? I've never really talked to her before, except for when Bonnie…" Scarlett cut off not wanting to finish her thought.
"Mr. Wilson said that Mrs. Butler would like to have some sort of funeral service." There she said it now what.
Scarlett's face dropped, "I haven't even thought of that. Um, how do you have a funeral without a… uh… in this case?" Scarlett couldn't think of all that was left of Rhett was a body.
"I'm not sure. Maybe you could just burry some of his favorite things." Suellen was glad Scarlett's reaction was a good one.
"I don't know if I could do that. I will write to Ms. Eleanor and see what she has in mind. Did Mr. Wilson leave an address?" Scarlett wasn't sure she wanted a funeral. If they actually did one that would mean he was really gone.
"Hold on," Suellen left the room for a moment and returned with a piece of paper, "Yes he left it with me because you were, well you known."
Scarlett was glad her sister had taking care of everything after she had fallen apart, "Thank you." Scarlett said as she got up from the table, took the paper from Suellen, and gave her a hug.