Disclaimer: I only own Maria. Me: -sigh- lets get this thing started back up. Oh yea I found out like a couple of days ago that when a state alchemist is chosen their rank is automatically Major so its not Lieutenant its Major now I just don't feel like going back and changing it.

Maria put on her uniform. She was still fuming about Ed's pregnant accusations. He really hated Mustang sometimes but Maria had to admit they were kind of alike in many ways. She sighed as she put her hair up in its usual bun. She walked downstairs and sat on the couch. She laid back and was about to fall asleep when Ed came and kicked her legs. She opened one eye and said,"Yes?" Ed sighed and said, "I have a match today against Roy. I need your support." "Why?" "Cause he uses fire just like your boyfriend." Maria sighed and got up. "Fine. But you really owe me for this one." Ed smiled. "I just hope he doesn't take a couple of jabs at my right (?) arm and left (?) leg." Maria nodded. "Then were in trouble if they find out about your little secret." Ed nodded and they walked to the teleportation room.

Teleportation room thingy…….Maria sat on the bleachers. Her hands were behind her head. This was going to be very entertaining. She loved Ed as a brother but it was going to be funny to watch him run away from fire like he did when he challenged Mustang to that fight. She started to laugh silently. She looked at Ed. He looked miserable. His face clearly read, "Help me." Maria was laughing harder now. Marth and Link sat down next to the laughing alchemist. "What's so funny?" Link asked. Maria was wiping the tears away now. "Nothing. Just thought about something really funny, that's all." Marth and Link looked at each other. "I bet Roy will win," Marth said. "Yea same hear." "I dunno. Ed is a smart kid. He is considered a genius after all." They looked at her. "Forget I said anything. Now let's watch the match." After the match…."AND THE WINNER IS...EDWARD ELRIC!" yelled Master Hand. Maria ran down and hugged Ed. "Oh Ed! Your were so AWESOME! I couldn't even have done that!" Roy stared at Ed. "He cheated he had to of cheated! There had to be a way," he muttered. "I dunno," said Link, "It seemed like a fair match to me." Marth nodded. "I think we should investigate these two," Roy said. Marth and Link sighed.

Up in Maria and Ed's dorm…Maria was in the shower and Ed was reading another book. Link, Marth, and Roy were standing outside on the room's porch. All three of them dressed in black to hide in the night. Maria came out of the bathroom with a tank top and short shorts on. Her bandages were visible. "I wonder what happened." Link asked. Marth shook his head but whispered, "I don't think Roy wanted to investigate. I think he wanted to take a look at her ass. Look at him." They looked at their friend and sighed. "I have to admit though," Link said, "She does have a nice ass." "Yea," Marth replied. He opened the door slightly. "I swear Maria," they heard Ed say; "You are as bad as Hughes. I am sure glad I am not your kid." They heard Maria laughed. "You know," they heard her say; "I do hope Envy shows his sorry ass again. I would love to call him he-she and maybe palm tree too." They saw Ed fall on the floor laughing. "Who would create a homunculus that looked like that?" they heard Ed say. Maria started to laugh, "I know! He is so gay looking!" "Yea and he always calls me the Fullmetal shrimp! But he is the homunculus he-she!" Maria fell on the floor laughing. "You know as much as I like Colonel Mustang, I just hope he never becomes Fuhrer!" Ed stopped laughing and asked, "Why?" "I do not wanna wear a short, tight, mini-skirt!" Ed smiled and said, "Then let's hope Fuhrer Bradley doesn't die anytime soon!" Maria laughed and said, "Yea. Have you always wondered why he wears that eye patch?" "I guess he lost his eye…" Ed replied, "Have you noticed that every time Roy looks at you he blushes?" Maria sighed and said, "Yea. He has nice hair, and nice eyes. But I really don't know the guy that well." Roy pouted. "You have a thing for Roy's don't you?" "Why do you say that?" "Forget I said that. Didn't you go out with Havoc once?" "Yea for like two weeks. Don't get me wrong an' all, Havoc is a great guy but he smokes way to much!" Ed smiled. "Well what do you think of Mustang?" Maria lightly blushed and said, "I will admit he is arrogant and can be bit of a perv, but besides that he's a great guy. Handsome, smart, and funny, all the traits I like in a guy." Ed sighed. "I knew it. You have to go and defend him." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I dunno. What about Armstrong? What do you think of him?" "One word," Maria replied, "Gay." Ed started to roll on the floor laughing. "Like his sparkles though." Ed started to laugh harder. "Let's go," Link said. They started to walk away when they heard Ed say, "But on a serious Maria. Why do you think the Homunculi showed up?" "I really can't say," they heard Maria reply, "Only that they want you to create another Philosopher's Stone again." The three swordsmen stooped. "Oh God I hope not! Well anyway I am gonna go and take a shower now. Be back in a few." Maria nodded and laid on her bed.

Outside…."What is the Philosopher's Stone?" Roy asked. The other two shrugged. "And a homunculus?" "That one I think I can answer," Link said, "It's like an evil human or something like that. Basically it's another word for sin." "Oh," said Marth, "Like the seven deadly sins?" Link nodded. "By the way," Roy asked, "What are the seven deadly sins?" "Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Pride, Sloth, Greed, and Wrath," said a female voice. The three turned around and saw Maria. They gasped. "You were eavesdropping on me and Ed weren't you?" she asked. "Uhhh…." said Roy. "Yes we were," said Marth, "Were terribly sorry." "Who gave you the right to do such a thing?" Maria asked. "Listen," Link said, " Roy was convinced that Ed cheated but when we got up here me and Marth found out that Roy just wanted to look at you ass." Maria stood there and waited for the Hylian to continue. "And I have to admit," he said, "You do have a nice ass." Maria started to laugh. "Well thank you Link. I am sure glad somebody had the guts to tell me that!" Link darkly blushed and said, "Well I wasn't chosen to be the Hero of Time for anything." "Indeed, Link. Well good-night. Go back to your rooms and stay there, I don't want to catch you all eavesdropping again." "But we weren't dropping no eaves," Roy said. The others did one of those anime faints and Marth said, "Eavesdropping means to spy on people, not to drop stuff!" "Oh." Maria sighed and turned around to go to her room when she said, "Oh yea, if you see that damn he-she, send him my way. He's overdue for a beating."

Me: I am gonna end it there. I and Envy are now in a jail cell because we weren't on the audition list. Can u believe that?

Envy: well we didn't sign up.

Me: that's true….

Envy: that Simon Cowell dude is an ass hole.

Me: I told you so….

Envy: I liked the Randy Jackson dude though.

Me: yea and Paula is great to. –sighs and starts to sing- Nobody knows all the troubles I've seen! Nobody knows my sorrows….

Envy: sing something happier please.

Me: -thinks and starts to sing again- It's a small world after all-

Envy: sing that and I will snapping kill you!

Me-thinks and again and starts to sing once again- I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts line up in row, big ones, small ones –Envy joins in- some as big as your head.

Envy: whoo that was fun!

Me: I know right. Well since me and Envy are locked up in this fudging cell I might as well say adios and au revoir!