Disclaimer: I only own Maria. Envy: is it true? Is this your second to your last chapter? Me: yup! I think I have an idea that deals with you. Not sure though. Envy: YAY! So basically this is the climatic chapter? Me: SHUT UP YOU STUPID HOMUNCULUS! Envy: -hides in fear-

Maria sat on her bed and looked out the window. He kissed her. Colonel Roy Mustang kissed her! She smiled and laid on her bed. She sat up and stared out the window. She saw a palm-treeish figure move out in the forest. "Envy," she muttered. Ed walked in. "Ed," Maria said, "Were going out." "Why?" "Homunculi. That's why." She got her gloves and gun and walked out the door and outside with Ed close behind her. They walked into the forest. "So this is it? Are we gonna kill them tonight?" Ed asked. "Ed," Maria said, "You perfectly know well I don't know how to kill you a homunculus. And neither do you. Come to think of it you don't know how to kill anyone." Ed mocked a laugh and stopped. "So how do we lure them out?" "Um…I haven't figured that out yet. But I will!" She stopped and yelled, "HEY YOU STUPID HOMUNCULI COME OUT SO ED AND I CAN KICK YOUR ASSES!" Well they came out all right. Lust crossed her arms. "You don't know how to kill us. What makes you think you can fight us?" Maria laughed and Ed smiled. "You're forgetting something," Ed said, "We know alchemy. You all don't!" Envy sighed and said, "We'll manage!" Gluttony looked to Ed then to Maria. "You both look tasty! Can I eat them?" Maria gasped. "You nasty mother fucker! Cannibalism is wrong!" Ed looked at Maria and said, "Do you think that matters to them?" Maria tilted her to one side and said, "Eh, good point." Maria smiled and said, "Lets get this battle on!" And so the battle began.

In the Smasher Mansion…Link, Marth, Roy, Zelda, Peach, and Samus were playing poker. Roy was quite pissed off at Maria. They heard an explosion. "What in Din's fire was that?" Zelda asked. There was another one. "Come on," said Link, "We'd better go and check it out." They ran outside and into the woods. "Damn it!" they heard a voice yell. "Hey Maria, how 'bout you leave the flame stupid alchemist and come with me?" another voice yelled. "HA! Like I would come with you! You're a freaking palm tree!" "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" "YOU HEARD ME!" Well Maria and Envy started to fight. Lust, Gluttony, and Ed just stood there. The six smashers arrived and they saw the wimpy fight between the alchemist and the homunculus. Ed sighed and clapped his hands together and sent Envy flying, and then he landed on his ass. Maria laughed. Lust sent out her fingernails and scratched Maria's back. "WHOA!" Zelda exclaimed, "How did she do that?" Maria yelled in pain as the fingernails hit the same place where the other cuts were. They still haven't healed all the way. She fell to her knees. "OOOH! HAHAHA!" laughed Envy, "SHE GOT YOU IN THE SAME SPOT LIKE LAST TIME!" Maria got up and whispered to Ed. "Take the six idiots and Lust and Gluttony to the edge of the forest. This is gonna get ugly." Ed nodded and said, "Lets take this to the edge of the forest. Major and palm tree need to 'talk'." "WHAT WAS THAT?" "I CALLED YOU PALM TREE!" "SHUT IT FULLMETAL PIPSQUEAK!" "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME" "ED! I'll take care of Envy go and defeat Lust and Gluttony." Ed nodded and ran out of the forest with the other eight followed him.

The edge of the forest…Ed did his blade thingy and faced the two evil Sins. "Hey," Link said, "I'll help ya." Ed nodded. And the battle started. "Roy," Marth muttered, "I'm really worried about Maria. I think she's in real danger." Roy looked at Marth. "So?" "So? Who knows what these things can do." "Fine, lets go!" They ran into the forest.

The forest…well lets just say Maria was getting her ass kicked. Maria laid on the ground, heavily breathing. Her black tank top was ripped. "I hate you Envy. I HATE YOU! I WANT TO KILL YOU!" Envy smiled and said, "Fine. But first…" He changed into a person. He came out of the showers and it revealed he changed into Mustang. Maria gasped. "Can you kill me now?" She looked at Mustang. "I-I-I…No I can't Envy. Just kill me." Envy changed into Ed and then he transformed his arm into the blade. Maria closed her eyes. "I have one chance at this," she thought. She flipped backwards and ran toward the sea. She stopped at the cliff and smiled and saw Envy stop running. "Well Envy, it's been nice knowing you," Maria said. She waved her hand and big wave came and washed the homunculus away. But in doing so it also washed the beautiful Ocean Alchemist away as well. Maria was sinking to the bottom of the ocean when a strong hand came and lifted her and her rescuer swam to the surface. Her rescuer laid Maria on the beach and Maria turned over and coughed. She looked up and saw Envy. He was as wet as she was. "You…saved me? Why?" "Well if I didn't save you then nobody could call me palm tree anymore. Except Greed but don't worry about that. Major Maria Lopez I leave you for now." Envy ran and or jumped away. Maria stared back at him. "Good bye, Envy. And thank you," she thought. Marth and Roy ran down to the beach. "Maria," Marth said, "Are you ok?" "Yea I will be. Lets go and see how Ed and the others are doing."

On the edge of the forest…"Why did they leave?" Peach asked. "I don't know," Samus said. "Fullmetal! HEY FULLMETAL!" yelled a voice. Ed looked up and he out a glove on his hand. "MAJOR! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Ed ran over and hugged her! "THANK GOD!" he yelled. Maria laughed and said, "Ed…I need to get bandages on my cuts." Ed nodded.

Me: I can't believe it the next chapter is the last one.

Envy: yea and then you'll have a new idea right?

Me: AYE! HEY DO YOU WANNA HEAR THE BEST SONG IN THE WORLD?

Envy: well we are outta jail. So what the hell!

Me: B-A-N-A-N-AS! I aint no hollaback girl!

Envy: Shut the fuck up NOW! I hate that song. Well anyway…adios amigos!