Disclaimer: I don't make money off of this. Sadly. I could buy more marked-down Halloween candy if I did.

Chapter 3: Hermione Granger Serenity Starlight Voldemort: Part I

By now, the whole of Hogwarts had heard about the fight. As is typical of Hogwarts, the actual truth differed greatly; some proclaiming the students had exploded half of first floor during the fight that night, and others (like Luna Lovegood) insisting that a Crumple-horned Snorckack residing in the area teamed up with a hinkypunk and lured them into the path of the teachers. It was not, however, argued that the students didn't deserve what they got in the end. The two exchange students were never very popular, even with their over-friendliness to some of the male students in their year. In the end, the school continued along smoothly, and resigned themselves back to their studies and hard work.

Only one student, after all the commotion died away, took even a mild interest in the disappearance of the two flamboyant girls. Through all her school years, she had been regarded as sharp and inquisitive, and perhaps knowing too much for her own good. She was the student formerly known as Hermione Granger, and she now went by the title of Serenity Starlight Voldemort. After last summer holidays, her fellow Gryffindors had noticed many peculiar changes in her personality, the least of which was claiming to be illustrious royalty and the daughter of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Albus Dumbledore. According to her, Dumbledore had been very gracious in allowing his partner to give her the last name, albeit not even his last name. How she claimed she was conceived was unclear, but, naturally, her two best friends from school were trying to let live the reverie she had seemingly slipped into, instead of trying to reason with her. This did not keep her from exploiting her newly-found habits of heroism and self-righteous soliloquy, such as in her current fixation. Though the school and the staff were not interested in the two girls' disappearance, Serenity could not let go of the idea. It was quite conspicuous in even her daily relations, such as at breakfast one day.

"Oh, Harry and Ron, can't you think what happened to those poor girls? It's bound to be all over the papers now, don't you see?" Serenity, formerly Hermione, always made sure to have a passionate monologue every morning. This was noticed, not because she hadn't been nagging about this and that before, but rather her speeches didn't make a lick of sense now.

"They got expelled. Don't you know by now?" Harry Potter groaned inside his head. He secretly missed the days where Hermione chided him for his ignorance, not the other way around.

"Uhm? Whassat, Herm-er-Serenity?" Ron Weasley's morning grogginess was not helped by the fact that he usually couldn't understand her accent. "You sound like a Yank again."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Ron? I went to America over the summer when I met my father at his city mansion!"

"Father? The States?" Ron rubbed his eyes and tried to keep his head up.

"Yes! Hel-lo, my last name is Voldemort now." The other students were too sleepy to comprehend her this time. "I met him in L.A. where he and Dumbles own the acting company?"

Harry had been ignoring her, but felt the need to speak up now. "Dumbles?"

"Uh-duh, the principal here? The main man?"

"Hermione, I don't know what a principal is, but I think you're talking about Headmaster Dumbledore."

The girl scowled. "It's Serenity, and I can call him whatever I want because I'm... like that!"

By this time Ron was too distracted trying to keep his head out of his porridge bowl. Harry replied again. "Alright." He didn't want to call her by the new name. Trying to distract her, he said, "Hey look, we have Charms first with the Ravenclaws. Are you ready?"

"No, Harry. I'm shirking today. You should too, I have something to talk about."

By now, her grades should be the worst in the year, Harry bitterly thought. But, at the same time, he knew she wasn't to be trusted alone. He ended up reluctantly following her after breakfast.

When they finally stopped moving, they were at the threshold to a dingy bathroom. At that point, Harry demanded to know what was going on.

"Ok Harry, this is what I think happened. The girls were attacked-"

"No they weren't, they were expelled, Hermione!"

"Listen! And it's Serenity!" She took a deep breath. "As I was saying, and I'm probably right, Tom Riddle let them down into the Chamber of Slytherin with the Basl-Blask- the snake!"

"Hermione, I killed the basilisk back in second year-"

Upon being confronted like this, Serenity's face took on a livid look and lost her temper. "NO, it's NOT, I'm the smart one here, it came back to life or something, SHUT UP BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT!" Harry wished two things at that very loud moment: that he had packed a headache potion for himself, and that his companion brushed her teeth more often. He gritted his teeth.

"If you're so sure, then, lead the way," he mumbled.

The illustrious girl grabbed his hand and into the bathroom they went.

End of Chapter 3

It was going to be a whole story of Serenity, but I got tired. Don't blame me, it's finals week. Thank you for all who read and/or reviewed again!

... And I'm sorry for any inconsistencies. I didn't look it over.