Note: Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for the bad chapter. I think this story is dying, but I am deterimined to finish, I just hope it will end well and not drop. A little side note. It might be a few weeks until I can update again. I just thought I'd let you all know. Let me know what you think, any ideas on what should happen and what not. Thanks.

Realizations

Kida cried "Now!" Tristan refused to budge. "I said move." She kicked her horse on but the horse would not move.

"I will not let you push me away again."

"Again?"

"You have always pushed me away. When we kissed in the barn you ran away. When I tried to kiss you again, you shoved me away and when I try to tell you how I feel, you yell at me and stalk away. I won't let it happen this time.

"You have been left alone for too long. It is time that someone taught you what it's like to live."

Kida looked at him, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You, Kida, I'm talking about you."

"What about me?"

Tristan sighed. "Quit being evasive. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't try to play stupid. You know what I say is true, you may not think it is but you know. You know what it's like to be alone, engulfed in silence. Not a soul is near, it is only you and the stillness."

Kida looked at him. "You have to be kidding. Are you serious about what you're saying? If you are, I have to ask if I hit you harder than I thought. Where is all this stuff coming from?"

"What confuses you?"

"I didn't say I was confused, it's just not your character to be so…what is the word I'm looking for…Idiotic, sappy, disgustingly romantic. Take your pick."

"I'm not any of those, I just…"

"Tristan, I told you once, and I tell you again. There is no chance of us ever becoming us. I am flattered that you care, but just leave me alone. I will come around in my own time."

"But…"

"Tristan, if you do love me as you claim, you will leave me alone and let me figure things out on my own." Tristan was silent. Kida kicked her horse forward and this time Tristan let the reigns go.

Gawain found Tristan a mile or so ahead of the rest of the traveling party. He rode up beside him. Tristan was not his usual self, but Gawain did not pay much attention to that and delivered his message. Tristan nodded and said that he would find Kida and pass it along. Tristan then kicked his horse on and disappeared into the trees. Gawain pulled his mount to a stop and shrugged. He never understood people. He turned and headed back to the caravan.

Arthur rode beside the cart that held the wounded. Here and there he noticed the Woad woman looking at him. Finally he spoke to her. "I see you are better lady."

The woman smiled, "Yes, much."

A silence followed. Dag sat off and noticed the tension between the two and shook his head. The commander and a Woad, not a very good combination. He turned his attention back to the boy, Lucan. He had taken on the task of caring for the boy. It was odd to see the large knight holding the small boy so gently, as if afraid to break him. By looks, Dag seemed to be gruff and mean, but he was really gentle and calm and he felt some sort of attachment to the boy he had rescued and was determined to keep him and raise him, if he could. He would take the boy home with him, he would be welcomed.

The boy slept at his side, at last at peace. Dag let his thoughts wander a bit and found himself thinking about Kida. He wondered where she was now. He looked at the sleeping boy and pushed Kida from his mind. She had rejected him, he had to face that and move on. She did not need him, this boy did though. If only he could talk to her and work the uneasiness out; she would probably bite his head off for even speaking to her. He noticed she was very moody and irritable. There was no reason to her mood swings and he was tired of trying to figure her out. She was not the girl he fell in love with through Liam's stories, she was different and he discovered that he was not overly fond of the Kida he saw.

Guinevere watched Arthur ride. He rode alone most of the time, but once in a while he would ride with a dark haired knight. They seemed to be close friends. She studied her savior in great detail. He was not handsome, but he had a sort of charm that made her think that he was attractive. What drew her most to him were his eyes. They were very mysterious. It was hard to know what he thought and yet when one looked into them they felt a great heaviness fall upon them, as if they were carrying his burdens with him.

She would get to know this Arthur more, and perhaps convince him to listen to his British heritage.

Tristan went to find Kida, again. He was not happy about their last meeting, but he had a message to deliver. That was all. He would tell her to stay away and then go back to where the others were. He felt sad, like everything that was good in the world died and he was alone, alone. For the past few years, all he could think of was Kida, and now, he did not know what to do.

Perhaps he should follow Bors advice and find a woman more tame and willing to love. He had tried what Vanora told him women liked, sensitive, romantic, poetic, and that didn't work. He tried things his own way, which did not turn out well at all. Maybe he should just face the facts; Kida would never be his.

With a heavy heart, he found Kida and delivered his message. "Arthur says it would be best if you stayed away for a while."

Kida looked at Tristan, there was something different about him, but she did not know what. How could someone change within an hour? She did not know why, but she was beginning to feel somewhat guilty about her treatment of Tristan, but she was not about to admit that. She looked straight ahead of her and replied, "Thank you for telling me, I will." She heard Tristan pull his horse back and head back to the main party. She felt a tinge of regret at the sound of his retreating steps, but she convinced herself that she was doing what was right. There was no way she and Tristan could ever be, she knew that, she believed that with all her being, or at least the thought she did.

Arthur ignored Marius, who was complaining loudly about being forced to leave his home, in the company of peasants and traitors as well. Arthur tried his best to be civil and polite to the lord, but there was not much he could do about his knights' behavior towards the overly fat Roman. He had to keep a close eye on Bors, for the knight was known for play tricks on people he did not like, and he feared what sort of tricks he might pull on their ward. Gawain and Galahad were not much trouble, they were to simplistic in nature to play tricks but if the right buttons were pressed, they might be pushed into a fight, at present they were well behaved. The person that worried him most was Lancelot. Even though he was his best friend, Arthur had problems reading Lancelot's thoughts and intentions. He would have to keep a close eye on his cynical knight.

When he was not watching his knights he would sneak a peak at the Woad woman who had taken to riding in the driver's seat of the carriage. He did not know what it was, but the woman intrigued him. She had this air about her that said she could take care of herself and was not afraid of blood. Whenever he looked her way, she was looking straight back at him.

Finally, he grew irritable and rode on ahead. He could not take the silent look game any longer. After a few minutes of solitude, he found Tristan. He was sitting on a rock, looking around him. "Tristan, what are you doing?"

"Thinking," was the knight's reply.

Arthur shook his head and rode on. He did not know if it was just him, but he felt like his knights were getting stranger by the day. There were now times that he did not even know them. Perhaps it was the fact that they were eager to leave, perhaps it was for some other unknown reason. What ever the reason was, Arthur felt his bond with his men slip away little by little, and he feared the day when it would disappear completely.

They made camp for the night in a small glen of trees. Tristan rode sentry duty while the others set up look outs around the camp. Kida finally emerged from the woods; keeping to the opposite side of the camp. She found Liam and the others and sat down with them. She was relieved that Tristan was gone. After an hour or so, they banked the fires and the knights went to their posts. Kida climbed up a rock and listened.

There was not a sound to be heard. "Knight," she heard a voice say. Kida jumped and turned. It was the Woad woman. Growling, Kida sat back down.

"What do you want?"

The Woad came closer and sat down next to her. "I have been intrigued by you and wanted to speak with you."

"About what?"

"Do you recognize me?"

Kida looked at her. "Should I?"

The woman smiled. She was about her age, maybe a bit older. "We met once I do believe, well not technically met."

Kida did not get it. "What are you talking about?"

"In the woods, you came to rescue your brother. I recognized him when I saw him, it took me a while to recognize you."

Kida furrowed her brow and thought. Where did she see this woman? She didn't. "I think you must have been confused."

The woman laughed. "I was the one you followed to find your brother. I watched you take him and leave."

It hit her. This was the warrior she followed, but how could it be, she was a woman. "That's impossible, you're a woman, women are not warriors."

"Among my people we are."

A question that had always been on her mind since that day finally surfaced, "So we were allowed to leave weren't we?

The woman nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I let you."

Kida shook her head, but it was all making sense. This was the warrior she followed and she must have been the person she felt watching them as she left. "Why did you let us go?"

"Because, I did not want you to die, and you would not leave unless you had your brother."

"Me, die?" Kida asked confused.

Guinevere laughed. "You, young knight, are much like me. Just you have to hide your true self."

"But how did you…"

"We have been watching you since you were first deployed. After you killed the band of warriors that attacked your traveling party, my father thought it would be in our best interest to keep an eye on you. There were a few habits that gave you away, but one would have to be looking for it. We do it with all the knights we think might be a threat but could be of some use."

"Really," Kida scoffed. "Is that why your people tried to kill me after we emerged from the forest?"

"That was not intentional. Most of the deaths are not intentional. They happen because the knights won't stop fighting even though they are out numbered."

"I do not understand any of this."

"What don't you understand?"

"Everything. Why do you fight us? We are not the enemy."

"We do it to test you. To see if you are worthy to live."

"Worthy? You sound like the Roman."

"In away yes, but we look for good in people. The knights are just prisoners of our enemy but to get to our enemy we have to get through the pawns. We are sorry for the men we kill, for most of them are good men, but it is necessary for our cause."

"Cause? What Cause?"

"Our fight for freedom."