Well, thanks to Cheezheister (?), I have countless loads of numerous ideas now! Thanx again, yes I know I emailed the world's largest thank you letter to you, but really, you rock! DDK: Kira is from Jak and Daxter. Correct me If I'm wrong, but I think I said that earlier. Anywho…I'm updating right now, stupid! Sorry. But really, isn't it obvious? Don't answer that.:) (:
Anyway, here goes nothing!
Nintendo HQ
Mario: I have returned!
Link: From where?
Mario: Albertson's!
Fox: It's your store?
Mario: The very same! And I got tons of water. Cheap too.
Link: And I unstole our game! Turns out Sony had it, not Microsoft!
Mario: Who woulda thunk it?
Link (opens game box): I guess I should try it out now. (puts disk in special custom-made Nintendo holographic Gamecube.) Here goes nothing. Months of design work, graphics planning, configuring the whole thing- it all comes down to this. (presses on button. The screen begins as a very cool startup screen like in OoT, but then switches over to some commercial about Sephiroth's Cow Company: Where cows are friends, not steak.)
Mario: I don't get it! We didn't design it this way!
Fox: Yeah! Our version was way better!
Link: I bet someone planted a fake copy of The Game in that vault, and hid the real one somewhere else. The questions are who and where?
Sephiroth's house
Queenie: Whatcha got there, Sephy?
Sephiroth: Don't call me that, Queenie. It's a…present from Sony.
Queenie: Didn't you quit working there? Oh wait; you got fired because Cloud thought you were stealing all the good coffee!
Sephiroth: I'm innocent! You can't prove anything! Anyway…it's a sort of goodbye present, you might say.
Cow: What is it?
Sephiroth: Let's see, I worked for a video game company, what do you think?
Cow: Is it a mmmoooooovie?
Queenie: Uh, Cow, it's a video game.
Cow: I never would have guessed.
Sephiroth: I'm going to go lock it up in the super safe.
Queenie: Awww, can't we play it just for a couple of minutes, Sephy?
Sephiroth: DO NOT CALL ME THAT! And no, I don't want anyone to find it.
Cow: If I'm sitting in front of the TV, no one will.
Sephiroth: I don't know. It's not worth the risk…
Queenie: Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezz? (does sad eyes)
Sephiroth: Oh…fine. But only for a few minutes. And don't let anyone find out…
(But Queenie has already put the game in the PS2 console, turned it on, and handed Cow a controller with special hoof-compatible attachments.)
Sephiroth: NO, YOU IDIOT! THAT DOESN'T GO IN THERE! (The PS2 starts smoking, then with a loud electrical zap, it blows up.)
Queenie: Oopsie daisy.
Cow: Moooooo.
Sephiroth: That was for the GAMECUBE, not the PS2. Now you've blown up my only PS2, my only chance at getting rehired by Sony, and my only chance of revenge against Nintendo! YOU STUPID CAT, STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
(Queenie's face suddenly freezes in the sad eyes position.)
Cow: Are yooooouu okay, Queenie?
Queenie (with difficulty): I..can't..move my face.
Sephiroth: I knew that would happen. Oh well. Let's get this mess cleaned up and have a proper funeral for my poor, devastated, destroyed game console (sobs).
Cow: Mooooooo. I'm sorry.
(Sephiroth leaves to go mourn for the lost platform of greatness.)
Queenie: Well this is wonderful.
Cow: What, that your face is frozen and you made Sephiroth cry?
Queenie: No, my Italian pink leather cat-sized sofa has been ruined!
Sony HQ
Kira: Well, is the plan ready for Operation VG Recall?
Daxter: Yes. Step 1: Sneak into Nintendo. Step 2: Find and recover game. Step 3: Get the heck out of there! Step 4: Return to HQ and bask in our glory of achievement. Here's how the teams work. Kira, your job will be make it possible for Cloud, Jak and me to get in and out undetected. Cloud, since you're the official spy-
Cloud: Three years running.
Daxter: -then you will be the one to actually get the game. Not that me and Jak couldn't, it's just that-
Cloud: You don't want to make me angry and get fired.
Daxter: WHO TOLD YOU! Anyway, Jak and I will make absolutely sure that no one finds us, and if we do get spotted, Jak and I will be happy to fight anything they can throw at us. Right, Jak? (Jak nods.) Good. We will be in radio contact at all times, using these handy dandy headsets.
(Cloud, Jak, and Kira each take one from Daxter.)
Kira: Okay, so why does Jak have one if he never talks?
Daxter: He can hear, can't you, Jak? (Jak nods.) That's why. So let's kick it into high gear already, we've got a game to steal!
Cloud: Not steal. Borrow without asking and have no intention to return.
Daxter: Very good.
(They sneak off to Nintendo.)
Nintendo HQ
Mario: So the place is locked up for the night?
Fox: Yep. It's all good. We can go home now. At 11:00 P.M. (Mario and fox leave, but Link stays there.)
Link: You guys go ahead, I'll leave in a few. (He hides in the bushes.)
(Meanwhile, Kira, Jak, Daxter, and Cloud approach.)
Kira (whispering): Okay, you know what to do! Go go go!
Cloud (whispering): Will you shut up already? I'm right here, and we're using headset radios!
Daxter (whispering): Well, they've locked the door, so Cloud, unlock it.
Cloud: My pleasure. (Takes out sword and unlocks door by slicing off the door handle, letting the door open freely. Suddenly, a rustling is heard in the bushes. Daxter screams like a three-year-old girl and hides behind Jak.)
Kira: W-who's th-th-there? (Link steps out, hidden by the shadows.)
Link (puts on Fierce Deity mask): (in a dark voice) It's not in there.
Cloud: What's not?
Oni Link: What you're looking for. It's gone.
Kira: Where is it, then?
Link: Not here.
Daxter: Well, duh! Where is it now?
Oni Link: I don't know.
Cloud: You're starting to get on my nerves. Tell us where it is, or I'll slice you in half!
Oni Link: Really, I don't know who has it. And since you came here and tried to steal it from my company, you shouldn't be talking.
Cloud: Talk later. Fight now.
Oni Link: It's your funeral. (pulls out the awesome double helix sword)
A/N: Now normally, I would skip this, but it doesn't take too long to describe. Why? You'll see…
(Cloud and Oni Link start fighting. The difference is that Oni Link can use magic. Cloud can't.)
Oni Link: You ready to give up yet, or do you want more punishment?
Cloud: I don't give up on anything, especially not beating you! (tries to attack Oni Link, who dodges it then fires many blasts of magic at Cloud.)
Cloud: Oh crud. (gets hit by all the magic thingies)
Daxter (into headset): Cloud, knock it off! You're our spy! You need to get into the building and find out where the game is!
Cloud (into headset): Well, since you and Jak don't seem to be doing much and Kira can't fight, then I'm just doing what no one else is! (attacks Oni Link again, but misses)
Oni Link: I've had enough fun for one day. (He takes the awesome double helix sword and hits Cloud over the head with the flat side.
Cloud: Not again…(falls unconscious)
Oni Link: So, tell me. What were you three-
Daxter: Four. (points to Jak) He doesn't talk.
Oni Link: -four, doing here anyway?
Kira: We were trying to ste-
Daxter (puts a hand over Kira's mouth): Uh, that is, see if Nintendo had any tours right now! (whispers to himself) Yeah, that's good. (to Oni Link) But, I guess not. C'mon, guys and Kira, let's get Cloud back to where we came from.
Oni Link (holds sword against Daxter): You're not going anywhere, squirrel. Cloud, that's his name. Thanks. Now I can find out what company you four work for. (disappears)
Daxter: Let's get out of here! (With some difficulty from holding Cloud, they hurry back to Sony HQ.)
Daxter: Well, that couldn't have gone worse. (pulls out radio) Man down! Man down! Alert! Alert! Reception, level 1! (another medical team arrives and teleports Cloud back to the infirmary.)
Kira: This is just a huge mess. We have to find out who stole our game! (they run down to the vault to check for clues, until Kira realizes that it is still locked.) No problem, I'll just use my special Presidential key! (unlocks vault)
Daxter: You idiot! Why didn't you do that before?
Kira: Do what when? (they enter the vault, which looks very similar to Nintendo's vault. Even the game platform with the notecard is the same.)
Daster (reading notecard): Thanks for the present, Sony! It's not signed. (turns it over, and a pink cat's paw print is seen.) I don't recognize this.
Kira: (takes it) I do. It's the symbol for some company I've seen…I remember! Come on, we have to go NOW! (grabs Daxter's hand and runs out of the vault (forgetting to lock it again), up the stairs, and out the door)
Daxter: Go where?
Kira: You'll see…
Sephiroth's house
Sephiroth: Well, I finally got the mess cleaned up and had a funeral for the poor defenseless console known as the PS2.
Queenie: Look, I said I was sorry!
Cow: Hey, sommmmeone's coming! (Queenie and Sephiroth ignore her)
Sephiroth: I don't even know why you still live here!
Queenie: Because I'm in charge, and I don't leave unless I feel like it!
Cow: Uh, Sephiroth and Queenie? We've got a problem…
Sephiroth: You're not in charge, I am! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have a place to live!
Queenie: And if you would've told me that it was a Gamecube disk, then I wouldn't have put it in the PS2!
Sephiroth: Gamecube disks are half the size of PS2 discs! You should have noticed that!
Cow: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Sephiroth and Queenie are silent.)
Cow: Will you just listen? Sommmmeone's commmming!
Sephiroth: Oh great, I wonder who it could be…
(Just then, a loud pound is heard on the door, which falls forward off of its hinges. Daxter is seeing stars, since Kira just slammed him into the door.)
Daxter: Ooooo, pretty colors…hi, Sephy!
Sephiroth: Do. Not. Call. Me. That. And the door was unlocked.
Kira: Where is it, Seph?
Sephiroth: Where is what?
Kira: You know what. (holds out the notecard, with the pawprint side showing)
Sephiroth (to Queenie): Why did you sign it?
Queenie: 'Cause.
Kira: I'm not going to ask you again. Where is the game?
Sephiroth (sighs): I don't have it.
Kira: Yes you do.
Sephiroth: Yes I did. But because of Queenie the Idiot Cat, I don't have it, or my PS2.
Kira: She put the GCN disk in the PS2?
Sephiroth: Yes.
Queenie: Hey, no one told me!
Kira (startl;ed): It t-t-talks!
Cow: Mmmmee tooooooo!
(Kira screams.)
Kira: This is so freaky!
Sephiroth: Tell me about it. So basically, I used to have the game, I don't now, and I lost the best console in the entire world because of a cat.
Kira: Uhhh…see ya! (Runs out the door.)
Sephiroth: Oooookay. (Kira returns)
Kira: Sorry. Forgot this. (picks up Daxter, then runs out the door, and back to Sony HQ.)
Cow: Moo.
Queenie: What do we do now?
Sephiroth: She's going to send Cloud.
Cow: And?
Sephiroth: I hate Cloud.
Nintendo HQ, the next day
Link: Well, after doing a little research, it turns out that Kira, that squirrel named Daxter, and the silent person named Jak are all from the game Jak and Daxter. And Cloud is from Final Fantasy seven.
Mario: And they were all here last night?
Link: Yep. They were trying to resteal The Game, but I didn't let them. Thank you, Fierce Deity.
Fox: So who has The Game now?
Link: Well, since Cloud is with Sony, and the person is against Sony, it must be someone also against Cloud. And there's only one person that really hates Cloud: Sephiroth.
Mario: Then as President of this fine establishment, I say we go get our game back!
Link and Fox: YEAH!
Link: I have an idea. Perhaps we can get some help from my friends.
Mario: How many of them, Link?
Link: Only one. Or two. Or thirteen.
Mario: Fine, get all of them. Just don't do anything stupid!
Link: Yes! (runs down to a basement full of Nintendo's consoles, each stocked with one of the Zelda games.)
Link: The original LoZ, Adventures of Link, Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask (that's me), Oracle of Seasons, Oracle of Ages, Wind Waker, Four Swords Adventures, and the Minish Cap. Eleven games, a total of fourteen Links, and they can all help get The Game back. Alright, guys! Come on out! (A flash of green light comes from each console, with the exception of the one holding the Four Sword adventures game. That one has four different colored lights.)
Link: Hi, everybody! (Each light turns into a different Link.)
OoT Link (as an adult): Hi, MM Link!
OoS Link: Hi, other Links!
OoA Link: Yeah!
MC Link (Minish Cap, although…): Yo, sup! MC Link is in the house! (MC Link is a rapper:) )
MM Link: Maybe I shouldn't have invited him…anyway, welcome, Links of the past!
LttP Link: Right here!
MM Link: Hi. Well, we have a small problem. Somebody stole The Game! (collective gasp)
AoL Link (you'll figure it out eventually): You mean the one that was at E3 and is on the Internet? (Has a laptop from America Online around his neck.)
MM Link: The same. A weirdo named Sephiroth has it, so…(puts on Fierce Deity mask) It's time for VG recall! (holds sword up in the air)
All Links: (raise swords in the air) YEAH! (With Oni in the lead, they all run out of the basement and Nintendo HQ in an angry mob-like fashion, toward Sephiroth's house.)
Back at Sony…
Kira: I can't believe the game is gone.
Daxter: I wish Cloud would wake up. (Cloud wakes up.)
Cloud: Ouch…that really hurt.
Kira: Well, you were out for about…oh, say, eight hours!
Cloud: Really. We need to go get the game back. I'm assuming you found it since I was asleep?
Daxter: Well…yes and no. We found it, but it was destroyed.
Cloud: Who had it?
Kira: You don't want to know.
Cloud: Yes I do.
Kira: No you don't.
Cloud: Yes I do!
Kira: No you don't!
Cloud: Yes!
Kira: No!
Cloud: Yes!
Kira: No!
Cloud: Yes!
Kira: No!
Cloud: Yes!
Kira: No!
Cloud: Yes!
Kira: No!
Cloud: Yes!
Kira: No!
Cloud: No!
Kira: Yes!
Cloud: No!
Kira: Yes!
Cloud: No!
Kira: I said yes, and I mean it Cloud!
Cloud: If you say so. Tell me who it was. (Kira realizes what she did and slaps herself.)
Daxter: Sephiroth.
Cloud: Well, then let's go punish Sephiroth for being such an idiot.
Kira: Whatever. (They all go to Sephiroth's house, only to find the Link mob at the door.)
Oni Link: What are you doing here? We've got a game to recover!
Kira: You idiot! The game is gone!
OoT Link: What do you mean, gone?
Daxter: That's exactly what she means! It's been destroyed!
MC Link: Yo, you mean someone jacked it then messed it up? Snap!
Kira: Uh…yeah. We just came back because Cloud wants to fight Sephiroth…
Oni Link: Cloud?
Cloud: The one and only.
AoL Link: From Final Fantasy seven.
Cloud: If you didn't know that without the help of that laptop…
Oni Link: Talk later. We have to get back at Sephiroth for this. Sephiroth! Open up!
(Sephiroth opens the door, then is surprised by the large number of Links there.)
Sephiroth: I told you before, I don't want what you're selling! (slams the newly repaired door)
Oni Link (stabs door with sword, pulls door out of the frame, then hurls it across the street, hitting an innocent bystander and knocking him unconscious.) Might you reconsider?
(Sephiroth gets a good look at Oni Link's white eyes, war paint, and awesome double helix sword, then screams like a girl and runs faster than Speedy Gonzales up the stairs and into another room.)
MC Link: Yo, after him! (They all chase Sephiroth and eventually surround him in a circle, swords drawn.
What nobody knows is that Sephiroth is deathly afraid of…)
Sephiroth: (girly scream) AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
(…forks. When he was a little kid, he saw a movie where forks took over the world. He's been afraid ever since.)
Sephiroth: No! It's happening again! The forks are attacking! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!
Queenie: Cue the heroic music, because it's Queenie to the rescue! (Queenie joins Sephiroth in the circle of swords, claws out.) Hit it, Cow!
Cow: Right! (presses play on the stereo. Theme music from Final Fantasy VII begins.)
Queenie: Super cat mode! (Queenie is surrounded with pink lights, then turns into a cow-sized cat that stands on two legs and has pink full body armor on.) Bring it!
Links: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! (All the Links do various attacks such as lunges, sword spins, using bombs, boomerangs, fire wands, formation attacks courtesy of the Four Sword, and firing magic at Super Queenie.)
Super Queenie: Take that! And that! And some of this! And a few of those! (Basically, she's just scratching everybody in different combinations.)
horsie890 the director/authoress: Cut, cut, cut! I said no details of violence! Who's writing this, anyway?
Darkdragonknight1993 the assistant director: It's you, stupid.
horsie890: Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot. EEM, how is the configuration coming along?
EvilEnigmaticMoomba the executive producer: What's that mean?
Fatalfeline: How's the organization of the story-
h890: Fanfic movie.
FF: Right. How's the organization of the fanfic movie coming along?
EEM: Oh, that. I don't know. The computer is doing it for me. I'm enjoying a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich right now.
h890: You lazy good-for-nothing! GET BACK TO WORK! WE'VE GOT A DEADLINE!
EEM: Yeesh. Fine. See if I let you borrow my iPod again.
h890: I don't have to. I've got my own!
DDK: Quiet on the set! That means both of you! Lights, camera, we're rolling in 3…2…1, action!
h890 (whispers): Fine, I'll shush. But I'm still in charge, and I say no graphic violence!
DDK: Shhhhhhh!
h890: Grrr…
After the battle is over…
(Various Links are standing around the room, some injured, some nearly unconscious, others completely okay. (Oni Link has returned to MM Link.) Super Queenie, however, has taken a lot of damage and has fainted.)
Sephiroth: Queenie! Nooooooooooooo!
MM Link: Oh yeah, we're good, uh huh, oh yeah…(does happy dance.)
MC Link: Can I get a booyah?
All Links: Booyah!
AoL Link: We have been successful!
MM Link: What do you think about that, Sephiroth? Don't even think about fighting us. Remember … what was it… oh yes, the forks! Beware the four-pronged stainless steel horror!
Sephiroth: No, not the forks! MAKE THEM GO AWAY! I SURRENDER!
Mario: Good. So now what do we do?
Cloud: I want to fight Link!
OoT Link: Which one?
OoS Link: You'll have to-
OoA Link: -be more specific.
LA Link: I love California.
WW Link: So which one, Cloud? Even though I'm obviously the best…
MM Link: You are not! (MM Link and WW Link are exact opposites. After all, M is W upside down, and W is M upside down.)
Four Sword Links (all at once): What about us?
OoT Link: I don't think it matters. We're all really good.
OoS Link: I guess-
OoA Link: -you're right.
MM Link: Let's vote. All for letting Cloud choose? (OoT Link, OoS Link, and OoA Link raise their hands.) Okay, Pick a number one through fifty? (AoL Link, LA Link, and LttP Link raise their hands. How about everyone attacking him in a mad brawl?
All Links: Can I change my answer?
horsie890: No, there's been enough fighting. How about…
MM Link: I've got a better idea! (holds out bag of coffee) Cloud?
Cloud: MY COFFEE! GIMMEEGIMMEEGIMMEEGIMMEE!
MM Link (runs out the door and down the stairs): You'll have to catch me first!
(Cloud chases MM Link, but MM Link whacks him over the head with the coffee, once again knocking him unconscious.)
All Links: YAY! WE WIN!
Kira and Daxter: No…we lose. (Jak shakes his head.)
Mario: Well, everyone, let's go home.
Fox: But what about The Game?
Mario: Don't worry about that. We've got all the information saved on the databases back at the office.
MM Link: Then why didn't we print more copies?
Mario: Well, I kinda thought that someone would try to steal it, so I made sure only one copy was printed. Plus, we need to make sure there are no mistakes.
Fox: Okay. Hey, who's the squirrel? (points to Daxter)
Daxter: Name's Daxter. Work for Sony. Look, no hard feelings, right?
Fox: Of course not. (shakes Daxter's hand, but Daxter gets shocked because Fox had a hand buzzer attached to his hand.)
(All Links, Kira, Jak, Mario, and Fox laugh.)
Daxter: Ow…heh heh, that was pretty good. Come on, Fox. (starts walking out the door while discreetly sticking a 'Kick me because I was dumb enough to let someone stick this on my back,' sign on Fox.) I think this is the beginning of a great friendship….(snickers evilly)
horsie890: Well…I'm leaving in a couple of hours, but since all of you are so great and rock hard, I decided to write this chapter with AoL Link, LA Link, MM Link, WW Link, and (my favorite) MC Link! For those of you who didn't know, Oni Link does NOT mean adult Link. Oni means 'demon' in Japanese, if I'm right. And hopefully, you figured out that I really, really, REALLY like the awesome double helix sword. Also anyway, this is it for quite a while, so enjoy and review. I accept anonymous reviews, so if you want to just do that so you can review a million times it's okay with me-
DDK: YOU IDIOT! NOW THE ADMINISTRATORS ARE GOING TO KNOW! (chases horsie890) EEM: This is funny. FF: What? (laughs) horsier890: I like horses waaaaaaay more than horsie890. horsiest890: I like them even more! horsie890: EXCUSE ME? IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, YOU TWO WOULDN'T EXIST, SO DON'T BE TALKING! (silence and cricket chirps) horsie890: Uhhh…yeah. Anyway, I really hope you all liked this chapter. Response for EEM: No, it's a moooooooovie:) Yes, yes, go you.great, you're welcome, potatoes…? I changed the story a teeny tiny leetle bit. Also, for the last few sentences…oh joy. And thanx!
Review response for DDK: Yes, oh sad, gr8, …wait, I already answered this! STUPID! (horsie890 hits herself over the head with some lovely potted shrubbery) horsie890: I had that coming. Well, goodbye for now, and I leave you with a quote that describes how I feel about supplying chapters to my readers…
"As long as these pants are square, and this sponge is Bob, I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!"
See ya'll later! –horsie890
P.S. Review now.
P.P.S. A lot.
P.P.P.S. As much as possible!
P.P.P.P.S. Muahahahahahaha! (choke) Ummm…bye now.:)