I am back! 2 ½ weeks, but I'm back and ready to write. Review responses:

EEM: Oooookay…. Cheezheister: You are the best idea-er in the world of chaos that is FF.N!
Yay for you! Welcome on staff as my co author!

FF: If I've told you once, I've told you a million and one times…I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FINAL FANTASY! NOTHING! NADA! ZERO! ZIP! ZILCH! N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Anyway...yes, I made Queenie up.

DDK: Yes, you are the assistant director. And you didn't invite me to be in the movie? You're so hurtful…not really. Go Goofy Goobers! MM Link is from Majora's Mask. I already said that.

Well, that was fun.

Nintendo HQ, the next day

Mario: that was a great party. And The Game seemed to be a huge success.

MC Link: Who's up for kickin' it old school!

(Silence and cricket chirps)

LttP Link: That's me! Link to the Past! ME! ME! ME!

MC Link: Never mind, yo.

Mario: Well, we can't release The Game yet. (A/N: This is because we know that even when a game is totally ready beyond all reason, the company won't release it for one of two reasons: They are mean or there is a perfectionist on staff.)

AoL Link: But why? I've been calibrating it for two days trying to make it perfect!

Fox: We know that. First we need better security measures if we are going to release it, especially because of Dax.

MM Link: I think I know just who to call…

Sony HQ

Cloud: NOT AGAIN!

Kira: What now?

Daxter: It wasn't me!

Cloud: SOMEONE TOOK THE COFFEE! EVERY LAST BAG OF IT!

Kira: Is that it? We can get more.

Cloud: (running around in circles) REVENGE! REVEEEEEEEEENGE!

(The phone rings.)

Kira: Hello? (Rings again) Hello? Who's there? (Rings again, since Kira hasn't actually answered the phone.)

Daxter: (picks up phone) Hello? (Rings again, since it hasn't been answered.) I think it's busted.

Cloud: REVEEEEEEENGE! I'll get it. (Answers phone.) (calmly) Hello?…oh, hi, Mario…now why would I do anything for you?…WHAT THE…..care to run that by me again?…you'll give it all back if I do? Well, you drive a hard bargain, but sure, I will. Okay…bye. (Ends call.)

Daxter: Who was it?

Cloud: Our Ninty pals stole my coffee so I would help protect The Game.

Kira: You're not actually going to help them, are you?

Cloud: Relax. I've got a plan…

Nintendo HQ

Fox: So, once the rush season is over, and if you've done a good enough job, you'll get the coffee back. Here's one bag for now.

Cloud: COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Mario: Yeah…well, thanks for helping Cloud. (Cloud is ignoring him because in ten seconds flat with the help of a supersonic coffee maker, he has made coffee.)

Cloud: (drinks coffee) Ahh, much better. Now, what was that again?

Mario: Thanks for helping us. We need it.

Cloud (to himself): Believe me, I know.

Fox: So, is Daxter planning any pranks?

Cloud: Nah, he's been too busy avoiding my wrath. It's not like his brain is big enough to think anyway.

MM Link: Alright then. Here's what you do. You always have to have these two CD's with you. One is the rewritable copy, and the other contains all the cheat codes.

Cloud: Thanks…(takes CD's.)

Mario: And now we can release The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess!

All of the gamers that have been waiting for this moment for years: YEAH! YAAAAAYY!THREE CHEERS FOR NINTENDO! HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAAAAAAAAAYY!

(Nintendo releases The Game, and all is right with the world. Sadly, a dark and evil plot is taking hold right in the midst of all the happiness and Nintendoness, and only one person knows what it is…mainly because it's his plan.)

A few months later…

Squaresoft HQ

(phone rings; Riku answers it.)

Riku: Hello? Hi, Dax, how's life?…really…good thing I've been working on it then…I wonder why they waited so long…well, I'll get on it right away…okay, I'll make sure they pull pranks on Fox…alright…bye. (ends call)

Riku: They finally released it.

Kairi: It certainly took them long enough. (Sora enters)

Sora: Who did what when?

Riku: Nintendo released The Game. Now it's a huge success.

Sora: But they waited so long! I guess we couldn't trust them after all…

Kairi: Well, we get our revenge. We're sending Nintendo the gamers.

Sora: But won't they realize that The Game has been released?

Riku: No. I've been brainwashing them for three months, on the off chance we would need brainwashed video gamers.

Sora: Oh.

Kairi: And now we sit back and watch the fun.

(A/N again: Now it may seem like Microsoft has been out of the picture for a while. Not anymore…)

Microsoft HQ

Master Chief: Did you hear about the whole disaster with Sephiroth's PS2?

Hunter: Yeah, it was all over the news. So much for keeping it quiet.

Master Chief: Sephiroth is an expert cow handler. We could use someone like that...

Hunter: How?

Master Chief: For wrangling cows.

Hunter: We have no cows!

Master Chief: Yes we do! Where do you think I got the cow for Nintendo? Let's see if Sephiroth will join us.

(They go to Sephiroth's house)

Sephiroth's house

Sephiroth: Nonononononononono!

Master Chief: Aww, come on, pweeez?

Sephiroth: What does no mean to you?

Hunter (whispering to Master Chief): I happen to know he is terrified of forks.

Master Chief: Come to our headquarters, I think I may have something to convince you…

Microsoft HQ

Master Chief: What do you say to…(pulls out a plastic fork) this!

Sephiroth: It burns! IT BURNS!

Hunter: No comment.

Master Chief: This evil mutant fork from beyond the silverware cabinet is going to take over the world with its fork army if you don't join us!

Sephiroth: I'll do whatever you want! JUST DON'T USE THE FORK!

Master Chief: We need you to get the two CD's that Cloud is supposed to be protecting.

Sephiroth: I can do that easily enough. I need seventeen refrigerators, 500 gallons each of strawberry, orange, mango, and watermelon juices, a really big generator, several large planks of wood, and lots of sugar.

Hunter: Why?

Sephiroth: It's all part of the plan.

Master Chief: Okay then…(They get the supplies)

(A/N: Why did not one person ever tell me I was spelling Keira wrong? You all suck! Not if you review, though.)

Sony HQ

Keira: I wonder how Cloud's doing?

Daxter: Let's just hope the whole coffee thing works out.

Keira: Good thing we called Squaresoft and made a deal with them to send Nintendo the gamers.

Daxter: I'd love to go watch that, but I have to prepare a few pranks for Fox. Sorry Keira.

Keira: No problem. I need to stay here and run Sony, so I guess I will ever now how the gamers react to Nintendo.

Nintendo HQ

(Nintendo has been giving Cloud some of his coffee back by demand. Cloud has discovered that this gives him a certain power over Nintendo. He has a plan, and is not afraid to use it.)

Cloud: More coffee!

Mario: No! Not until rush season ends!

Cloud: Well, I could always just toss these out on the street…

Fox: NO! We'll give you more coffee, just don't do that!

MM Link: I guess I'll get the door, since everyone's been ignoring it. (answers door)

Gamers: Need games…need games…need games…(they're like zombies)

Fox, MM Link, and Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Cloud: Oh chill. They're just gamers that have been brainwashed. It's no big deal.

(Fox, MM Link, and Mario are hiding.)

Cloud: Well, I'll see you guys later.

Mario (from behind the sofa): Where are you going?

Cloud: Since I've had my coffee, I'm leaving.

Mario: Nooooooo!

Cloud: See you later, losers. Oh, and I'll be keeping these discs. You can have the gamers, though. (leaves)

Gamers: There they are! (run as fast as upside down turtles to where Mario and friends are hiding)

horsie890: I'd rather not put in the details. Let's just say that many shoes were thrown, however there were no casualties.

EEM: You're taking all the fun out of it.

horsie890: Fine. The only casualty was an amoeba that got run over. Then its leftovers reformed and it was alive again. Hooray.

Sony HQ

Cloud: Nice touch with the gamers, everyone.

Daxter: Thank you. My idea.

Keira: Well, now what? Can we have the game discs?

Cloud: Let me think about it…okay, no. I'm starting my own company, and it's going to be better than Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo ever was! (leaves)

(Silence for five minutes)

Keira: What just happened?

Daxter: We just lost our best spy and Vice President.

Keira: Do you know what this means?

Daxter: I get to be the Vice President?

Keira: No…we need to either get Cloud back or destroy his company before it takes off.

Daxter: Aww, come one, can I be VP?

Keira: I don't know…what about Jak?

Daxter: He never talks!

Keira: And you talk too much.

Daxter: Please, Keira?

Keira: Oh…fine. But only until we get Cloud back.

Daxter: Hooray!

Cloud's house

Cloud: Okay…I've been working on this for a while, and it couldn't be more perfect. I'll call it…Olympus! And my company will be Cloud 9! Sometimes I'm so smart it's scary. I'll also include a special collectable Cloud action figure. Collect all five.

Hundred.

Well, I think I should make it so this platform can play any type of game from any company. Plus I'll do Final Fantasy VII, of course. And KH and CoM. I'm going to be so rich, it's incredible!

Microsoft HQ

Master Chief: So, how's the plan coming, Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: Look! Giant ice pops!

Master Chief: That is what you needed all the stuff for?

Hunter: What a waste.

Sephiroth: No, really! Apart from being delicious, since the refrigerators used CFC's, they're also mutant!

Ice pop: Roaaaaaaaaaaarr!

Sephiroth: And with my army of ice pops, I will go recover The Game!

Hunter: Good, because if you don't…

Master Chief:…we use the forks!

Sephiroth: Whimper. (Sephiroth and the army go to Cloud's house.)

Cloud's house

Cloud: Sephiroth…what are you doing here?

Sephiroth: I need the game discs.

Cloud: Sorry, but no. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do.

Sephiroth: Army, attack!

Ice pops: Roaaaaaaaaaarrr!

Cloud: What the- what are those?

Sephiroth: My army of ice pops!

Cloud: (I can't defeat those…crud.)

A few minutes later…

Sephiroth: Any last words, Cloud?

(Cloud is in a corner, surrounded by ice pops. It seems like there is nothing he can do, until…)

Cloud: What's this? (A ghostly hologram appears in front of Cloud. It is…)

Hologram: Hi,Cloud!

(…Yodaxter.)

Cloud: Dax? What are you doing here?

Yodaxter: I've been sent to rescue you! (clears throat, then talks in Yoda-speak.) Use the forks.

Cloud: The force?

Yodaxter: No, the forks I really mean. Terrified of them he is.

Cloud: I don't have any forks with me.

Yodaxter: Yes you do. Open one of the game disc boxes you must. Find a fork you will.

Cloud (opens box): Hey look, a fork!

Yodaxter: What did I say? Now defeat Sephiroth you must, or forced to talk like this forever I will be.

Cloud: Okay. See ya, Dax. (Daxter disappears) Beware of the sterling silver highly detailed weapon of mass destruction and chaos that is…A FORK!

Sephiroth and ice pops: AAAAAAHHH

Sephiroth: RUN AWAY! (They all scatter)

Cloud: Hey, I actually won. Ha! So there, Sephiroth!

Nintendo HQ

Mario: I'm so glad we made extra copies of The Game. Those insane zombie gamers were, well…insane.

Fox: I now officially hate shoes.

MM Link: I think the only reason everyone wants our game even though it's already out is the format. I mean, come on, it's got killer graphics, a knockout plot line, and it's the best one so far! Who wouldn't want it?

Mario: At this rate, we're going to need an entire army to keep possession of it. Code Toast!

(Fox and MM Link gasp)

Fox: Not Code Toast!

MM Link: That's so extreme!

Mario: We have no choice. Initiate Code Toast!

Microsoft HQ

Master Chief: You totally failed, Sephiroth. You know what that means…

Sephiroth: No! Please! NOT THE FORKS!

Hunter: (to Master Chief) Maybe he could help us get the robot army ready as punishment.

Master Chief: Okay, fine. You can help us build our robot army to get The Game, or face the cutlery used for eating and serving food known as the FORK! (Sephiroth screams like a girl)

Sephiroth: I'll get right on that! (Starts planning plans for a super robot army)

Hunter: Why do we want The Game?

Master Chief: Because the format for that masterpiece is brilliant. Just brilliant. Remember, the 360 still needs games.

Hunter: So we're launching a full force attack just for a game format?

Master Chief: Pretty much.

Sony HQ

Keira: Apparently there's some sort of war about to start. I guess we should join in.

Daxter: How come?

Keira: Cause I'm bored, and Jak needs something to do.

Daxter: Okay…what should we make the army out of?

Keira: Let's see…Final Fantasy people, Metal Heads, or I guess we could use Heartless.

Daxter: Me! Pick me!

Keira: No, we're not using an army of Daxters. They're far too annoying, and…wait a second. That's it! Dax, step into the cloning machine!

Daxter: What'd I do?

Keira: Nothing yet, but it's what you're going to do that matters.

Daxter: Oh, alright. If you say so. (enters cloning machine)

Keira: Here goes somethin'! (tries to start the cloning process, but isn't that smart, so accidentally clones Daxter and triples his annoying power, and each Daxter is a different side of his personality; all Daxters exit cloning machine and line up in army-like ranks)

Cheese-loving Daxter: Cheese!

Keira: What have I done?

Daxter the stater of useless information and other obvious facts: The world is round!

Original Daxter: Alright, maggots! Listen up! Ten-hut! (all Daxters and Keira are silent. Daxter puts on an army uniform and stands in front of an American flag) Men-and Keira-we are gathered here today because of a video game. But not just any game. The Game. Nintendo's pride and joy. The format and graphics on this thing are incredible. Sadly, it's already been released- (everyone says 'Awww…')-but I do have good news.

Keira: You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico?

Original Daxter: No. It's only out in two countries. All we have to do is make sure that it doesn't live to see the UK, Canada, Mexico, Spain, France, Italy, or any of those other nice places.

Soldier Daxter: Yes sir, Lieutenant Daxter!

Sugar-hyper Daxter: Anyone got a lollipop? (Everyone shakes their heads) Darn.

Original Daxter: Now everyone-except Keira, you stay here- let's go get our game!

All Daxters except overly cautious Daxter: Hooray! (They follow Daxter to Nintendo)

Overly cautious Daxter: It's not safe out there. (gasps) Or in here! What with this crumbling foundation, paper-thin support beams, and endlessly high levels of the building…IT COULD COLLAPSE ANY SECOND!

Keira: Chill out.

OCD: Chill out? CHILL OUT? What if there was an earthquake right when the martians invaded and that volcano opened up in the middle of the floor? Would you be able to chill out then?

Keira: I guess not, but-

OCD: Exactly! We must prepare! (starts putting pillows everywhere and duct-taping all the doors, windows, and the ceiling) There we go. Now we're safe. Almost. (gives Keira a helmet and puts one on himself) There we go.

Keira: This is ridiculous! Nothing is going to happen to Sony or us!

OCD: Not anymore, now that I've helped.

Keira: Grrr…

Nintendo HQ

(For those of you still wondering what Code Toast is, you're about to find out…)

Mario: Are you sure this is everybody?

Fox: How many more people…or other things…do you need?

MM Link: It's going to be quite a war.

OoT Link: What about the-

OoS Link: -Soulcalibur 2-

OoA Link: -people?

Mario: Got them.

Fox: Fire Emblem?

MM Link: Check.

Samus: Metroid?

Fox: Yep.

Mario: Let's just go down the list.

MM Link: Here goes. Mario, Dr. Mario, Paper Marios 1 and 2, Luigi, Waluigi, Wario, Kirby, Samus, Fox, Falco, Slippy, Peppy, Captain Falcon?

All of the aforementioned people: Here.

MM Link: All my Linkish pals, twins, or otherwise, Zelda, Medli, Komali, Saria and Kokiri minus Mido, Rauru, Nabooru and Gerudo friends, Ruto (shudders) and Zoras, Darunia and Gorons, Aryll, Impa and whatever Sheikah are left, and other LoZ characters who are choosing to remain nameless?

Those people/fish/elves/birds/lizards/rockthingers/other: Here.

MC Link: MC Link is in the house, yo!

All: We know.

Mario: Marth, Roy, Eliwood, Hector, Ephraim, Erika, and Lyn from Fire Emblem?

FE people: We're here.

Marth: I'm better than Roy.

Roy: You are not!

Marth: For one I'm smarter…

Roy: How stupid do you think I is?

Marth:…way better at fighting…

Roy: Says who?

Marth:…and I don't complain about anything.

Roy: Dad! Make him stop making fun of me!

Eliwood: (whacks Roy over the head with the flat side of his sword; Roy faints) Problem solved.

Lyn: I can't believe you did that.

Eliwood: Desperate times, desperate measures.

Mario: DK crew?

DK crew: Here!

MM Link: Does Ganondork have to be on our side?

Ganondorf: I'm still a Nintendo character, whether you like it or not!

Mario: All of you shut up! (room falls silent) Now then. We're going to be up against some tough competition: Microsoft's computer technology is hard to defeat, and Sony, however annoyingly stupid, is quite crafty. So just go out there and do your best, okay? The Mario characters will go to Sony, and the LoZ, Fire Emblem, and others will go fight Microsoft. Understood?

All: Yes sir! (They salute)

Mario: Team StarFox will be attacking both companies from the air.

Fox: I've heard that Andross might drop in.

Falco: Big deal. He's either going to help us, or I'll destroy him with one wing tied behind my back!

Slippy: You mean like last time?

Falco: I told you not to mention that ever again.

Mario: I think we're ready. Oh, before I forget. Everyone gets a special spell that will be different for each person according to his or her abilities.

All: Okay!

Mario: Now let's go fix this whole mess!

Everyone: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! (they split into their respective groups and run to Sony and Microsoft, while Team StarFox takes to the skies)

Microsoft HQ

Master Chief: So, how's that army coming, Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: Almost done…(tightens a loose bolt) There! An entire army of robots! Voice controlled, manual override, air conditioned…these puppies have it all!

Hunter: We should use forks more often.

Sephiroth: Don't let them get me! (whimpers)

Master Chief: We should have a ton of foot soldiers, Banshee pilots, drivers, a well as a million robot controllers for these things. Oh boys…(Halo and Halo 2 people, and online players all show up) Good. You've all been briefed on this mission?

Everyone: Yep…got it…sure did, chief!

Master Chief: And one more thing before you go. This is not Red vs. Blue. It's everything vs. Nintendo, so…treat it like Capture the Flag. The Game is the Flag. Get it?

Everyone: Yep…got it…sure do, chief!

Master Chief: Good. Now go out there and make me proud to be an American! Oh, and yourselves, too. The goal is not to have fun. It's to win! (they all separate and go towards Nintendo and Sony)

Whew! Such a looooong chapter. I felt that I owed you reviewers because I've been gone. There's going to be more, don't you worry: )

-horsie890 over and out!