Title: A Well-Earned Prank
Rating: PG-13
Author: Silver-Phoenix-09
Description: Comedy, Song-fic
Summary: "The ultimate prank against ole' Snivellus, eh Prongsie?" A raven-haired boy chuckled deeply at his own joke.
Warnings: Slight cross-dressing, Subtle Slash References
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, they all belong to the literary genius J.K.Rowling. The song "Somebody To Love" belongs to the band Queen
"Prongs, I can't take it anymore." Gray eyes pleaded with his companion.
"Padfoot, we have an exam tomorrow we need to study." A bespeckled boy replied, absently pulling at his messy raven locks.
"Please, Prongsie, just one little break. Maybe we could plan a new prank for Snivellus?" Sirius Black rolled over on his four-poster and hung his head upside-down over the side. His sparkling gray eyes widened at his best friend imploringly.
"I could go for that." Remus called from his quiet little corner of the room. His amber eyes were slightly bloodshot from all the studying he'd been doing for the last week. Sirius jumped off the bed and pulled Mooney up from his beanbag chair.
"Please, Prongs, you wouldn't deny your two very best friends, would you?" His eyes danced and he twirled Mooney around in a circle before pulling him back to his side. James laughed and set aside his book.
"You, my dear Padfoot, are incorrigible. And you, Mooney, should be ashamed for letting him influence you." He laughed and adjusted his glasses before patting his bed invitingly. Remus and Sirius plopped down on the red comforter and the three began sharing ideas.
The Great Hall was full of students leisurely eating breakfast before their first class. Four teenage boys stood gathered at a corner directly across from the entrance going over last minute details. James tapped Sirius and pointed to the doorway of the Great Hall. Remus smiled when Sirius's bark-like laugh rang out in the hall. Peter joined in, though he didn't really understand the whole situation.
Sirius cast the spell almost silently, his wand pointed directly at the newly erected speakers hiding in the corners of the Great Hall. An infamous tune began blasting out of them causing heads to turn. James cast his spell on Snape, who jumped onto the table. Peter threw a microphone at Snape who caught it deftly under James's control. Remus pointed his wand at Snape, his black robes instantly rearranged themselves. A pink corset with black lacings strapped itself onto a pale, wiry chest. A black silk thong replaced his baggy black pants. Fishnets wound their way up alabaster legs. Five inch heels replaced scuffed black loafers and Snape's shoulder length mop of greasy black hair pulled back from his face into a ponytail on top of his head consisting of ringlet curls. His obsidian eyes were lined with Kohl and his thin lips were instantly coated in black lipstick. Remus smiled as Sirius slapped his lower back discreetly. Suddenly Snape's deep voice burst out in song.
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Snape began slowly gliding his way down the Slytherin table amidst gaping jaws and popping eyes. He got to the end of the table and stepped off, shaking his tight butt slightly. He waltzed his way between the tables and meandered up to the staff table.
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
He turned to face his peers and rubbed a hand down his pale chest and onto his thin thigh.
I work hard every day of my life I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
Snape fell to the floor while his hips slowly began gyrating to the beat of the song.
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
He threw his arm out to the crowd. A couple people stood a began cat-calling, which caused the controlled Snape to stand and begin sliding on a pole that suddenly appeared beside him.
(He works hard)
The Slytherins suddenly burst out singing, under the control of Remus and Sirius's twitching wands.
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Snape continued his pole dance to a very agitated audience. Some were whistling and others had their eyes covered in horror.
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Snape stepped away from the pole and worked his way over to a laughing Ravenclaw. He trailed his hand over the boy's shoulders suggestively which caused the boy to blush slightly, before batting Snape's hand away.
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Snape pushed the Ravenclaw out of the way before stepping up onto the table he sat at. He threw his arms toward the bewitched ceiling and threw his head back.
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Snape abruptly stopped singing. Th music died down and the other Slytherins lost their glazed looks. The hook-nosed teen jumped off the table and ran for the door, but not before a flash of sparks shot out from over his head and formed the words:
This Performance Was Sponsored by the Laudable... Marauders
Four grinning boys stood to thunderous applause and bowed low to the ground. A feminine yell rent the air and all four rushed to the exit, but not before Sirius sent off one last message.
This Well-Earned Prank is now complete. Please enjoy your day!
And with a wink of his mirthful gray eye, he dashed after his friends. A stern-looking, black haired witch with square spectacles hot on their heels.
Fin