(All of the armies left their respective companies at the exact same time: 8:42 A.M. So they end up meeting in the VG Town Square. Except that Sephiroth went home.)

VG Town Square

(From the South, a large army of robots stands against the horizon, surrounded by swarms of Halo soldiers and Flood. In the West, hundreds of thousands of different Daxters gather. And to the North…Nintendo's carefully trained soldiers stand ready for battle. In Team StarFox's case, they hover in the air high above the square. Even StarWolf and friends have showed up to defend the honor of Nintendo.)

Daxter: What are you doing here?

Mario: We're here to take you down!

Online player from Halo 2: Not if we take you all down first! (Halo people cheer)

Fox (into a headset): What should we do, Mario?

Mario (into headset): Spell this in the air…

Fox (listens): Roger that. StarFox out!

(The airplanes start flying in random patterns, spelling the words 'Go Nintendo! The rest are going down!' in smoke.)

Mario: Thank you, Fox! Alright, everyone! Attack!

Master Chief: Move out, troops!

Original Daxter: I like toast! (translates to 'Go beat the crud outta them!')

(The battle commences. The Halo characters are using massive amounts of weaponry and insults.)

A random Halo 2 online player: (to Marth) You'll never amount to anything!

Marth (sarcastically): Oh, ouch. (does that weird sword-dance-thinger from SSBM, and KO's Halo 2 online player)

Roy (no longer unconscious): Good one, Martha. (laughs maniacally)

Marth: If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that one…you won't live to see tomorrow if you say that again.

Lieutenant Daxter: Don't make me get Jak in here!

Luigi: I'd like to see you try.

Lieutenant Daxter: Hey, Jak! Come here! (Jak runs over)

Luigi: Well, you tried.

L Daxter: (whispering to Jak) Why don't you show him how bad Dark Jak is?

(Jak looks slightly freaked out, but ends up turning into Dark Jak anyway)

Luigi: Aw snap. (Dark Jak KO's Luigi)

(Link runs over, then does a sword spin to KO Dark Jak)

Link: That'll teach you Sony freaks to steal my style of ears and put them in another game!

Meanwhile, at Sephiroth's house…

Cloud: I told you, Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: Look again. (the ice pops reform and surround Cloud again)

Cloud: You suck. (A crash is heard in the kitchen, and Kirby runs into the living room…and Cloud)

Kirby: I'll save you, Cloud! (sucks up the fork Cloud is holding, and a bottle of blue fire that one of the Links left there a long time ago)

Cloud: Huh?

Kirby (transforms into a Kirby with a spiky blue hat that has two forks criss-crossing on it): I am now…Blue Fire Kirby of the Evil Metallic Long-Handled Item of Demonic Properties!

Cloud: In American, please?

BFKOTELHIODP: I'm Pyro-Kirby with a fork.

Cloud: Oh.

Sephiroth: (girly scream) Keep it away from me!

BFKirby: (breathes blue fire on ice pops, who actually melt even though blue fire isn't hot. BFKirby takes out a giant fork instead of a hammer and hits Sephiroth, making him fly right into the middle of the battle)

Cloud: Thanks, but why did you help me if you're from Nintendo?

BFKirby: I'm from where?

Cloud: Well, Nintendo, I think. But…not anymore.

BFKirby: Did I move away?

Cloud: Well…if you're my friend, then you could say that.

BFKirby: What now?

Cloud: We go destroy Sephiroth, Microsoft, and Nintendo.

BFKirby: The place I used to live? (Cloud smacks himself in the head)

Cloud: They didn't like you so they kicked you out. (thinking 'Is your brain just an empty cavity of air with a hamster on a wheel that stopped moving years ago?')

BFKirby: Then I guess we'd better go pay them back for it, right?

Cloud: Oh yes let's.

BFKirby: Can you fly?

Cloud: Yeah.

BFKirby: Me too!

(Cloud and BFKirby fly to the battle, watching from the air as Fire Emblem people mercilessly attack Sephiroth, Daxters use so much annoying power that the robots overload and blow up, and the Nintendo characters are kicking the crud out of Sony's army)

Fox (on Arwing's radio): Hey, guys, who's that?

Slippy: Looks like Kirby, but who's the other guy?

Falco: As I always say: Shoot first, ask questions later.

Wolf: Why don't you come work for us, Falco? We share the same values.

Falco: Not a chance, Wolfie boy.

Fox: Attack formation H for my team. As for Wolf…just don't kill Kirby.

(Wolf and friends form a triangle shape and start shooting at Cloud while Fox tries to catch BFKirby on Arwing's wing)

(Cloud's super-senses tell him to grab BFKirby and fly somewhere else. He does, narrowly being shot by a barrage of lasers)

Clou: What the- what was that?

BFKirby: It's a bird! It's a plane!

Cloud: It's StarFox. To the ground, Kirby! And fast!

(BFKirby, who is puffed out like a balloon, immediately exhales, falling to the ground like the blob of taffy he is. Cloud's wing folds in, allowing him to skydive to the ground and land on his feet (sweetness:):)

Lieutenant Daxter: Where have you been, soldier?

Cloud: I don't work for you anymore, remember? You don't need to know. (Fox and team circle back around, firing lasers at everything)

Cheese- loving Daxter: Eat cheese, traitor! (fires cheese at Cloud with a cheese gun, completely covering him with good ol' American cheese sauce)

Cloud: You messed up my hair.

Mummy Daxter: Huh?

Cloud: You messed up my hair! Die, dead dude! (takes anger out on mummy Daxter with Omnislash instead of attacking cheese-loving Daxter)

Lieutenant Daxter: It appears as though you have misread the signals! I know a guy named Fluffermutter who once misread the signals in a combat situation! Now he eats everything from a mechanical straw!

Cloud: That's…wonderful. I'm leavin' now. (goes to another part of the battle)

Meanwhile, at Sony, Keira is having a migraine.

Sony HQ

Keira: I have a migraine.

OCD: Don't worry! Now that the motion sensors are set, the attack dogs are right outside, the building has been triple reinforced with steel, and 911 is on speed dial-947267#- we can all relax.

Keira: Except me! This stupid helmet is squeezing my brains like toothpaste!

OCD: But at least you're safe in case an earthquake occurs. (Keira shrieks in exasperation)

Keira: You have got to be the worst side of Daxter! I can't think of anything worse!

OCD: There is only one part of Daxter that's really bad. The good side.

Keira: That makes no sense!

Good Daxter: Hi, everyone! I made cookies! They're completely organic, so they're good for the environment.

Keira: Ooookay…

Good Daxter: This place is a wreck! I'll just deactivate this sensor so I can tidy up a bit!

(deactivates motion sensor and starts sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, and singing, all at once. This causes Keira to finally snap, as she is not a neat freak by any means)
Keira: That's it, you little squirrels! You're going down! (chases them and they run outside, where Keira collapses from the strength of her migraine)

I don't really know if Cloud can fly. I'm just going along the lines of my imagination. That's a recipe for disaster. Oh well. The word of the day is review. Follow it, grasshopper, and perhaps you too will one day become a great toast monster.