Back at VG Town Square
(Although their numbers are great, Nintendo's forces are slowly being beaten back by the combined strength of the Halo warriors and annoyingness of Daxter. Links have fallen. Mushrooms have exploded. Robots have been destroyed, and squirrels thrown into the air only to be run into by a fighter plane. And Cloud is the one that is winning the most. Until it's time for a lunch break.)
Mario: Lunch time!
(All the Nintendo people stop fighting, then eat lunch. Marth, who is fighting Cloud, has a pickle and ham sandwich. Cloud loses it.)
Cloud: Get it away from me! Don't let it touch me!
Marth: What'd I do?
Roy: Looks like you've actually scared him, Martha.
Marth: I hate you so much right now.
Cloud: It's a pickle!
(Cloud runs home, screaming worse than a crowd of fangirls, who promptly chase after him. Cloud wishes he could fly, forgetting that he can. Nintendo people cheer.)
MM Link: We might actually have a chance!
Peaceful Daxter: There must be a way other than fighting. We should settle our differences peacefully.
Music-loving Daxter: Should we instigate Plan HTH?
Peaceful Daxter: It's the only way.
Music-loving Daxter: Alrighty then. (presses button on stereo. A high pitched voice starts singing, and everyone immediately recognizes it. Some smile, others groan, and still others start to dance to the beat. It is none other than…)
Voice: Here we go.
(…the Hampsterdance.)
Mario: Oh great.
Master Chief: My favorite song!
Music-loving Daxter: Daxters, be ready.
(Over the happiness of the song, a rumble is heard in the East. It is much like many, many small feet pounding the ground. A blur appears and turns into millions and millions of hampsters and hamhams.)
Luigi: What are they doing here?
Taki (SC2): Can we blow them up?
Voice: That's it.
Sophitia (SC2): What's it?
Voice: That's all there is to it.
Cassandra: Huh?
Mario: I think…we should set aside our differences, stop fighting, and have one giant party!
Master Chief: I'm okay with that. Soldiers, cease fire, drop your weapons, and dance to the song!
Halo 2 online player: He must be joking.
(The hampsters arrive and start dancing)
BFKirby: Hooray! (starts singing with Hampton, but cannot match his awesome hampstery voice of hampsterness)
Kilik (SC2): This is ridiculous.
Talim (SC2): Awww, they're so cute! (picks up Bijou from Hamtaro)
Eliwood: This is a battlefield. NOT a hamster playground.
Roy: Oh, lighten up, dad! They're just hampsters!
Eliwod: They're WHAT?
Roy: Hampsters. Hampton's best friends. Oh, and the Hamhams. They're with Hamtaro.
Eliwood: I'm starting to really hate ham…sters…and ham…
Pet-loving Daxter: I'll take care of them!
Daxter the mercenary: Kill! Must kill cuteness! CAN'T STAND CUTENESS! (takes out a flamethrower and tries to attack hampsters and hamhams, but pet-loving and peaceful Daxter(s) stop him)
MC Link: Party time!
Mostly everyone except the extreme cuteness-haters: Hooray!
(Soon after, a stage is set up for MC Link. Captain Falcon and DK are in charge of the barbecue, which, needless to say, isn't going too well. Roy wants to help, but CF and DK don't notice. The mob o' Links is busy setting up the dance floor, and WW Link is supposed to be picking out music…)
Roy: Hey, can I help?
DK: Oo oo ah ah!
Captain Falcon: You're just a kid, kid. Leave the cooking to us men.
Roy: He's not even a human! (leaves, exasperated)
WW Link: Hey, music-loving Daxter? I can't decide between song 1 or song 2. What do you think?
Music-loving Daxter: Hmmm…
Hamtaro: Let me fix that! (Shoves a CD into the player. The Hampsterdance comes on.
Master Chief: Hooray! I wanna be the MC now!
MC Link: No way, yo, that's my job! You can't steal my job!
Luigi: Why don't you both do it? (the world falls silent) What?
MC Link: Dude, everybody who's anybody knows that there can only be ONE MC at any party. And that (puts on sunglasses and turns the Minish Cap backwards, though none notice) is me.
Master Chief: Aw, come on! It's my life's dream!
MC Link: Well…I don't know…alright. But if anyone else hears that I willingly let you, then I'll knock ya into the next Tuesday of the next millennium!
Master Chief: Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! You won't regret this, I promise! (runs backstage)
MC Link: I think I already have… (Master Chief comes back wearing a giant gold medallion that practically causes him to fall over with every step)
Master Chief: Okay! I'm ready! Start the song over. (Hamtaro gladly does)
Alright, y'all! It's time for a little song I like to call the Hampsterdance! (replacing the voice in the song) Here we go!
MC Link: I think I'm gonna be sick, yo…
(all dance. Master Chief is doing the robot, while MC Link is incredibly embarrassed)
MC Link: (replacing voice) That's it! (more song and dancing)
Master Chief: That's all there is to it! (more music)
MC Link: Alright, everybody, now here we go!
Master Chief: It's a brand new version of the do-si-do!
MC Link: Just stomp your feet and clap your hands.
Master Chief: Come on everybody, it's the Hampsterdance!
MC Link: Bounce in time to the beat hey!
Master Chief: You don't even have to move your feet!
MC Link: Just shake your thang, let me see you move!
Master Chief: Now spin around and feel the groove!
Hamtaro: Yeeeeeeeehaw!
MC Link: Let's try it. (…)
Master Chief: You're catching on. (…)
MC Link: Terrific! (…)
Both: Come on everybody…clap your hands.
Come on everybody…it's the Hampsterdance!
Come on everybody…clap your hands.
Come on everybody…it's the Hampsterdance! (…)
Master Chief: Here comes the music. (at the end)
Hamtaro: Heeyahahahaha! (applause)
MC Link: Thank you, thank you, no applause, just money please! (laughter)
Master Chief: Good one.
MC Link: You're an idiot.
Master Chief: Is that in MC code?
MC Link: Uh…yeah, sure. If you say so yo.
Master Chief: Hooray! (leaves)
Tucker (Halo: Red vs. Blue): I swear, if they do Rich Girl, I'm gonna lose it.
Doc (Halo: Red vs. Blue): Seriously. Hey, look at that! There's a barbecue!
Church (Halo: Red vs. Blue): And?
Doc: Well…I'm hungry.
Caboose (Halo: Red vs. Blue): (evil voice) Can I eat your head? (he's a schizo)
horsie890: What are you morons doing here? And I said no graphic violence!
Tucker: Who are you?
horsie890: I'm the authoress of this fanfic, and quite frankly, I've had it with you people!
Mario: What's an authoress?
MM Link: You don't want to know.
horsie890: They're evil monsters who have limitless knowledge of computers and write fanfiction all day long while begging for reviews. It just so happens that I'm in charge of this one, and it makes no sense! Which is good. (everyone looks lost)
Lyn: Why are you here?
horsie890: To stop the Red vs. Blue people from turning into cannibals. They're not even supposed to be here.
Tucker: We like parties.
Doc: With barbecues!
horsie890: You idiots.
Church: Well, you don't have anything to worry about, little girl, because-
horsie890: Care to repeat that? I'm not a little girl! I may be short, but I'm not stupid! I can handle these people just by typing somethin' on a computer!
Doc: You don't need to get upset.
horsie890: Cork it, medic boy!
(Meanwhile, at the barbecue…)
Roy: Aw, come on! I do this all the time at home! Besides, you seem to be having a little trouble.
Captain Falcon (notices the burning hamburgers): Uh, no I'm not! I'm just…trying to prevent E. coli!
Roy: You are wearing a bright pink apron with white lace and a giant red heart that says 'Cooking is spelled with a 'k''. You are aware of that, right?
Captain Falcon: Uh…(in this lost moment of attention, the hamburgers burn. Roy, being the pyro that he is, uses his sword to stab them and throw them off the grill, where they smolder to ashes. After putting more burgers on the grill, he uses the sword like a spatula and, in a very Spongebob-like manner, flips them in the air when they're done, slices all lettuce, cheese, and other various condiments, then watches as they all fall into perfect hamburgers)
Roy (takes a bite of a hamburger): Now that's how to grill. (Eliwood walks over)
Eliwood: Roy, that sword is a precision fighting instrument used in battle.
Roy: And now it's a precision spatula used to flip burgers. You know they're good.
Eliwood (sternly, in that adult I'm-going-to-raise-my-voice-soon-so-you'd-better-stop-doing-that-and-listen-to-me voice): Roy…
Roy: Sorry, can't talk now. Got customers! (heads off to fill the hunger needs of all the people and creatures there, leaving Eliwood stunned)
Eliwood: He is so going to get it later…
Marth: Aw, come one, he is pretty good at grilling. He does it all the time.
Lyn: And usually sets his house on fire.
Marth: Oh yeah. I remember that. It was really funny…
I love having a co author. Especially one who likes pickles so much, even if I don't. Follow the word of the day: review.:)