MC Link: Now that I'm back in control, everyone listen up! A few of us swordfighting people have deciding that there will be a-
Sophitia: Fencing tournament!
MC Link: Hey- never interrupt the MC, yo. But she's right. If you want to enter, then sign up over where MM Link and that random Halo person are. (Spotlight shines on MM Link and the Halo person. They wave.)
Halo 2 online player: Do energy swords count?
MC Link: Sure, why not?
(There is a stampede of people that want to enter. Among them are Cloud and Sephiroth, who want to take this opportunity to kill each other using their weaknesses: forks and pickles)
Cloud: You're going down, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Hey, at least I'm not terrified of PICKLES. (Cloud tries not to scream at the word pickles.)
MM Link (puts on Fierce Deity mask): Everyone, a relatively semi-neat single file line would be great! I have magic and I'm not afraid to use it! (everyone lines up nicely) Thank you. Now in order to compete, you have to have a sword. NOT anything else. Understood?
Oni Link worshipping fanperson: Yes Oh great Oni Link master sir! (salutes)
(This particular fanperson is wearing a t-shirt that says 'Oni Link is the best ever', has a cardboard sword almost exactly like Oni's, except that you can see the marker scribbles and glue on it, an officially unofficial Oni Link baseball hat that reads 'No one can beat Oni Link', a 'Hooray-4-Oni' small flag, Oni Link stationary set-- even though Oni Link hates stationary with a vengeance, this idiot is too blind to see that-- a super-limited-edition-gold-plus-only-one-ever-made Majora's Mask game with all the masks and a special cheat code this person invented so Link can be Oni Link all the time, and, as if that weren't enough, every Nintendo console with Oni Link casings and all Zelda games specially designed by this geek to have Oni Link in it instead of normal Link)
Oni Link: Good. Now, if you're name's not Link then leave…just kidding, you idiots! (sees everyone starting to leave)
(after a few minutes)
Oni Link: Okay, the first match is Cassandra versus this random Halo person.
Cassie: I'm gonna win!
Halo person: Wait…what? (person is shoved into the ring by Tucker) I didn't sign up for this! Who told me this was karaoke? TUCKER! (Tucker runs away laughing his head off while Caboose chases him threatening in an evil voice to eat his head if it falls off)
Oni Link: 123go!
(A short while later…)
Oni Link: Wait! We forgot to decide the announcers and officially start the tournament!
The other random Halo person: Can I have a sandwich?
Oni Link: The announcers will be Falcon and Falco. And for Nayru's sake, take that ridiculous apron off, Falcon!
CF: But it makes me feel pretty!
Falco (looking up at sky, appealing to the Godesses): Why me?
CF: Why not you?
Falco: Because I don't associate with imbeciles!
Oni Link: Just deal with it, birdbrain!
Falco: Grrr…(to himself) I'm getting paid extra for this, I'm getting paid extra for this, I'm getting paid extra for this…
CF: Hi everyone, and welcome to the Tournament of Fences!
Falco: Don't you mean fencers?
CF: No, really, this card you gave me says fences.
Falco: (sees card) No, you moron, it says fencers! (sighs) Fine, just ignore it. Keep reading.
CF: The first match: (does wrestling announcer's voice) From Soulcalibur 2, the one, the only, the blonde- CASSANDRA!
Cassie: Yay! (enters ring after praying for Sophitia, even though she's also there)
CF: Versus: (SC2 announcer's voice) A hardcore soldier fights to bring down the covenant.
Halo2 person: No! I'm a wimp! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAASE!
(Halo2 person is shoved into the ring)
Falco: Ready…fight!
(Shortly thereafter…)
Halo2 person (falling off edge of stage): Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! I want my money baaaaaaaaaack…
Cassie: And that's the second win! Yes!
AoL Link the Internet geek: My calculations show that anyone who bet on Cassie's success wins seven dollars.
Anti-AoL people (includes horsie890 the authoress): His mind has been corrupted by the evil of AOL! Purification! PURIFICATION! (They grab AoL Link and drag him off to their headquarters)
Falco: Next up, it's Sephiroth-
CF: Aww, can I say it? I do it way cooler!
Falco: Fine, just hurry up.
CF: (Regis Philbin voice) Let's play Who Wants to be in the Next Match! Looks like…Sephiroth is in the hot seat!
Sephiroth??? (enters ring in spite of CF's strangeness)
CF: (cheesy game show host's voice) And the princess-kidnapping party-crashing lizard all you Mario fans know and hate, iiiiiiit's Bowser!
Bowser: Roar. (enters ring, nearly flattening Sephy)
Sephiroth (yelling at authoress): I told you people not to call me that!
horsie890, who has magically appeared at the tournament): Just shut up and deal with it!
Sephiroth (to Bowser): You're just like a cow with scales.
Bowser: Roar.
Falco: Ready, begin!
(Bowser tries to grab our old pal Sephy-)
Sephiroth: Hey!
(but Sephiroth freezes him with his cow-controlling prowess and knocks him off the stage in true SSBM style)
CF: Well, that was certainly anti-climactic.
Falco: Tell me about it.
CF: Very well then. (CF proceeds to describe the five-second match in excruciating detail to Falco, whose eye twitches the entire time at his own idiocy.)
At AAOL (Anti AOL) HQ
horsie890, who has magically appeared from the Nintendo party/tournament: It appears as though he is not an innocent AOL user, he is (gasp) an AOLer.
horsie891: What should we do?
horsie890: We have no choice. I prescribe straight NetZero use until further notice.
horsie889: Very well then.
AoL Link: Don't I get a say in this?
horsies889, 890, and 891: NO!
hee hee…more soon. Review. By the way, I haven't been getting many reviews that are always telling me to update. I mean, if you people don't want chapters very often because you're busy and it's hard to keep track of all the fanfictions you're reading (though I'd be shocked if you weren't only reading mine), then okay…tell me please if you wish I would update more.