I know, it's been forever, but trust me when I say high school is no picnic. Especially where I go. Biology is where I come up with some of the jokes in this thing. I hope you like it, and sorry again for the wait!
Cloud: I know just how we can defeat them.
LotTM: How, o Chosen One?
Cloud: Here's the plan…WE HOLD AUDITIONS FOR A PLAY!
LotTM: That…could work…
Cloud: What are you talking about? I invented it! Of course it'll work.
Nintendo HQ
MC Link: Hey, I just got a phone call from Cloud, and you know what he said, yo?
All: WHAT?
MC Link: We're gonna do a play! (silence and cricket chirps)
fg00: Is that really the best you could come up with?
h890: What? I think it's a great idea!
fg00: I don't get paid enough for this job…
h890: You get paid?
MC Link: Aw, come on! It'll be fun, yo!
MM Link: I don't know… maybe we should do something else. THE MATRIX!
MC Link: That works too! I know! Get this…
(drum roll please…)
The Matrix Dance Dance Revolutions! (all cheer)
Cloud: Hold it! That's not part of the plan!
Sephiroth: It is now! Attack, Pop Tarts from Inside the Pantry! I, Lord of the Land of Yellow Blobby Objects, command thee to do my bidding! Arise, my minions! Smite the power of Cloud with your awesome might-
Cloud: Oh, shut up already! I'm the leader of the Land of Purple Fuzzy Objects, and do ya think anyone cares? NO!
(They continue to bicker.)
MC Link: (plays 'Let's Get It Started') Listen to the lyrics, everyone! It's DDR time! Looks like it's Talim and yet another random Halo guy up first!
Halo guy: Finally, karaoke! Wait, I can't dance! TUCKER, GET YOUR DOUBLECROSSING EMPTY HEAD BACK HERE!
Talim: I wanna play Mario Mix!
MC Link: Too bad, it's Matrix Mix. Deal with it!
Talim: Fine…(pouts)
Neo: I believe I should be in charge of this…
MC Link: How many times do I have to tell ya? I'm in charge of all music. (starts DDR machine)
(Five minutes later, and it still hasn't loaded.)
Neo: It's taking too long.
Morpheus: That is because the Matrix is run by a 56k modem.
Neo: Stupid dial-up! (ad for AOL for Broadband appears) (I credit this idea to Legendary Frog. Not mine!)
WW Link: Look, it's ready! (They choose characters and music)
(Matrix chase music plays. Surprisingly enough, it's a 150-difficulty level, and Neo sucks bad at it.)
Talim: You shouldn't go against a wind priestess!
Neo: (loses) Waaah! I want my mommy! (runs away crying and defeating several Smiths along the way. Unfortunately, they are the grocery store Smiths. Market Fresh every day.)
MC Link: Well that was weird.
Mario: I say we have a Mario Mix battle!
Daxter: Versus me!
Master Chief: And me!
Cloud: Fine, me too.
Sephiroth: No! I say I'm better and knitting than you!
Cloud: Wanna bet?
Sephiroth: You're on, toast-for-brains!
(They start knitting with frilly pink yarn.)
MC Lnk: (eye twitches) Hate…pink…anyway, it's time for…do do do doooo! Four way Matrix Mario Mix DDR!
(Mario, Daxter, Master Chief, and a Smith clone from the Matrix take their positions.)
MC Link: Ready? And the song is…(Axel F from Crazy Frog plays)
All: Sweet! (cheer)
(Daxter is the first to fall. Keira tries to take his place, but trips on her ears and loses.)
MC Link: Sony, you're outta here!
(A short while later, Master Chief drops a grenade which promptly explodes and he loses.)
MC Link: It's between Mario and Smith!
Mario: I'm-a gonna win!
Smith: Not if I can help it!
OoT Link: That's my line! (kills Smith, but another one pops up.)
Mario?
OoT Link: What the-? (keeps killing him, but he always reappears)
Mario: (dancing furiously) There is only one way to beat him. We need the newest hero!
MC Link: You don't mean-
Mario: I do.
MC Link: But that's untested!
Mairo: It's the only way.
MM Link: By the power of the Link lineage, I hereby summon…Twilight Princess Link! Awaken! (slams sword into ground; in a shower of pretty gold sparks, TP Link appears.)
MM Link: He has come.
TP Link: (serious voice) I have only one thing to say…(pulls out many rolls of…)
MC Link: Huh?
(…toilet paper, and runs around Smith with it.)
TP Link: Victory is ours! Nintendo wins! Huzzah! Ice cream party on me, everyone.
(Mario faints from exhaustion and lack of coins, then is sucked into the game. The screen flashes: Insert 20,000 more coins, as this game is far too expensive)
TP Link: I guess he shouldn't have spent all his money on hats and overalls…Anyway, like I said, ice cream for all!
Meanwhile...
AAOLL HQ
h890: It appears as though we have been able to breach the AOL mainframe. fg00, install the hacker programfg00: Roger that.
h890: Okay...
fg00: (starts up program. Small Pac Man things appear on screen, chasing the AOL man through a maze.)
h890: Sweet...(AOL man is eaten)
h1-891, fg0, and fatalfeling: We have succeeded!
h890: Let's join the ice cream party!
fg00: Oh no. No sugar for you.
THE END
Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Square Enix, Disney, the characters, Legendary Frog, the Matrix, or any of the other stuff I mentioned. I own me and my pals fg00, EEM, and ff own themselves. The end. (Smith crawls out of toilet paper pile) For now.