Title: The Setting Suns
Summary: From within the Force, Shmi has watched her son's fall from the Light. Vignette.
Spoilers: Major spoilers for Episode II, and Episode III.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to George Lucas. But maybe, someday, he'll want to share…? *looks hopeful*
A/N: I want to thank Darth Mom for being the best beta in the galaxy, and for suggesting the I change the format to emphasize Shmi's thoughts. :)
I hope you enjoy it!
The Setting Suns
It is incredibly beautiful here, in the endless sea of the Force. It is truly beyond what my words can describe; a constant river of light and warmth, a place of peace. The energy that binds all things is tangible here, powerful and strong, always in motion. And I am a part of that energy, part of that light, as I have been since that night in the Tusken camp.
But despite the beauty around me, I find it impossible to truly appreciate it, to truly find rest. How can I ever rest knowing that my son is in pain? I can sense his agony, and I share it, for my Anakin, my dear grown up son, has lost his way. He couldn't resist the lure of the darkness, couldn't see that by sacrificing his goodness, even if it was to save the woman he loved, that he was truly sacrificing everything.
I feel so helpless…
Here in the Force, I can only watch as the darkness embeds its claws further and further into his heart, as each time another small part of his soul is ripped away. But I know that in the depths of his spirit, my Ani still lives within the shell of Vader, no matter how much he may now try to deny it.
I know this, because I can hear his screams…
I hear him cry out in sorrow and anguish for all that he has done, all those he has killed. And I scream with him, because I cannot help but feel that this is my fault. I know that I should not feel this way, that my son truly made his own decisions, and chose his own path. Yet, that does not stop my pain, and the questions that plague me…
Was there something more I could have done?
Was it something that I failed to teach him, or something that I didn't see, that could have kept him from this torment? If somehow I had found the strength to continue drawing breath when he found me in that camp, would it have kept him from taking his first steps into the abyss? Or, was this simply what was meant to be? Was this his destiny, a fate I could not have prevented, no matter what I did?
No, I will not believe that…
I will not accept that he was meant to fall, to be lost to the darkness. He was not meant to be Palpatine's servant, trapped forever in a slavery far worse than that which we suffered on Tatooine. He was meant to do great things, meant to serve the Light.
Still, sometimes in the moments of my greatest weakness, I wish that Anakin had not lived through the Clone Wars. Perhaps then, I think to myself, he could have been spared this suffering. He could be here with me, safe in the embrace of the Force. He could find peace. But even in such moments, I know that Anakin was meant to survive. He still has a purpose to fulfill for the Light, and I know, despite all that has happened, that someday he will turn away from the darkness.
I will always have faith in my boy, my Ani, my poor lost son…
That was why I refused to give up as I watched him kneel before the Sith Lord, and pledge his loyalty to evil. That was why I refused to surrender to anguish, as I watched him lead the clone army to the Temple, where even the youngest were not spared by his blade. That was why I refused to allow grief to overwhelm me, even as I watched him battle the man who had been his father, brother, and closest friend.
Yes, I cried for my handsome son when he was injured and condemned to an existence in that horrible suit; a living tomb which will, for the rest of his life, be the face the galaxy sees as his.
But I did not lose hope. I never will…
For each time, despair looms before me, I remember the words which I first told my son, my young, innocent son, the day he left Tatooine to become a Jedi: You cannot stop change, anymore than you can stop the suns from setting. I find more truth in those words now, than when I first spoke them, for the sun has set upon the galaxy, and those whose fought for the Light, could not stop it. But, the source of my hope is this: If you cannot stop the suns from setting, then surely, you cannot stop them from rising either.
Fin
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think!
Take care and God bless!
Ani-maniac494 :)