Chapter 1 – Optimism

Standard disclaimer applies to every chapter of this story.

Kaoru's PoV

Deception. Lies. Masks. Covers. Manipulation. Deceit.

This is what life is.

Don't agree with me? Come on, even if you were the most optimistic person alive, you know that I'm stating a fact.

We all wear masks, be it a mask to gain pity, a mask to hide a shameful past, a mask to hide our worries, a mask that helps us pretend to be strong or a mask to cover all flaws to be the picture of perfection in public, the bottom line is... they are all masks. Masks that we wear every single day of our lives.

There is no such thing as a fallen angel. We are all imperfect. There is no one, and I repeat, absolutely no one who has never told a lie in their lives. In fact, if you were to tell me that you are a person like that, I would have told you that you had just committed the sin that you claimed was never done by you before. EVERYONE lies.

Don't try to be someone perfect. Perfection will destroy you and the person that you are.

Think I'm crazy? Go ahead and tell the whole world. No one will believe you.

I am the heiress to the famous fortune that belongs to the Kamiya family. The one who is declared the most perfect among all others. The one who shines…

And yet, in my eyes, they are all only fooled by the act that I put up for the sake of my family's good name. Wait, let me correct that statement. They are all fooled by the act that I put up for the sake of the family who bought me from my real family. And I meant that literally.

I don't know the exact story but this is all the information that I got from the children welfare department where I was placed in so when my family intended to sell me off. My foster parents, Mr and Mrs Kamiya, refused to tell me anything, promising that all would be revealed when I turned 18. And trust me, I begged for a long long time. 2 years I think I begged…before I finally wised up at 12 years of age and did it my own way.

I guess I must have gotten some genes from them even though we are only related by papers as I am just as stubborn as them. I hired people to find out for me. And I paid for it using my lunch money, which might I add is always too much for me.

I admit that I am a bit of a spoiled child. Okay, so I do get everything that I want but I never have to throw tantrums to get them. In a way, I guess it makes up for me not having a childhood.

I guess it would only be right to say that I love children because I lost my innocent life as a child. But I have no exceptional favourite for little cute kids. I don't hate them either. The feeling is just…neutral.

Teenage life? It was just fine. Nothing special. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't the kid who is picked on by every 'cool' clique in school. Nope, I was one of the tools that people in school use to gain popularity.

Girls followed me around, endlessly criticizing other people who dressed and acted in their own special way. Gossiping about new and broken couples, often saying that the girl in the particular relationship discussed was not worthy of the guy she was involved with was another one of their annoying habits.

And they took the word backstabbing to a whole new level. They were really creative when it came to scheming against each other. Though it was pretty ridiculous to befriend the same person that you hated.

I don't think that I will ever understand all the things like how carefree children could be. Even some teenagers seemed to be so…free. They had not a worry in their heads. Well, except for worries of their results and stuff like that. I suppose I am quite abnormal in a way.

It is both interesting and irritating to know about the silly little things that people did. Interesting to see how much they enjoyed it….but irritating when its something absurdly stupid.

I spent all those years making myself the media's favourite little girl. My 'parents' are pleased I think with the effort and result of what I did. But I guess they don't realize that I hate my life.

I hate that I have to pretend to be someone and something that I am not.

I hate that everyone is observing and analyzing every action that I take and every word that I say.

I hate that my sole existence in this world is to be a doll. Pretty on the outside…empty on the inside.

Cause that's what I feel. I feel the opposite of what people think I am. Its like black and white, dark and light, conductors and insulators….death and life.

…I like that phrase. Death and life.

It sounds…….

intriguing.

A.N. chapter one is pretty short but let me know if I should continue…and if I do. .u'll have to wait for quite a while before chapter two is posted….im in the middle of my exams now ..jus though I'd let u noe so that u wont check everyday to see if I've updated !

Anyhow…please review!