Chapter 9
"Kalasin?" Kaddar tapped lightly on the door to his wife's cabin, "are you ready?"
"Almost," She called, as she pinned Gzifa's diaper.
Kaddar sighed. Over the years, he had come to realize that his definition of "almost ready" differed significantly from Kalasin's definition of "almost ready." For him, it meant that the obstacle preventing immediate departure was insignificant, or easily fixed. For Kalasin, "almost ready" could mean any state of dress, from undergarments to physically prepared and mentally scattered. "Are you decent?" He tried again.
"You can come in." That voice belonged to Lianne, his sister-in-law. She was going home today, with Buri. It was a bittersweet occasion for all. Bitter because Buri and Lianne were leaving, but sweet because the Naming Day of the twins had finally arrived and Kalasin's mother would meet Gzifa and Kirabo.
He opened the door and saw Kalasin in a pink silk garment, high-heeled sandals and a gauzy veil. Gzifa was settled on a blanket on the bed. He blinked. "Is that your slip?"
"No, darling, it's the latest fashion." Kalasin blinked at him innocently. Kaddar thought she was teasing, but he wasn't sure. He looked to her sister.
"The ladies are calling it "husband's regard." Lianne told him. She was similarly dressed in blue silk, sans veil.
"Do you like it?" Kalasin twirled and plucked the diaphanous material out of her hair. She draped it over a mirror and twirled for the pleasure of feeling the cloth swish.
He stared. The silk was like liquid on her—it was completely opaque, but in the way it flowed and moved, it invited any amount of speculation about exactly what was underneath the dress. "For the bedroom, but not for public!"
Lianne turned her face away as she giggled. Kalasin kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
"You're not going outside like that?" He asked hopefully.
"There's an overdress." She told him, pointing at an impossible lacy web that would conceal nothing. It was shot through with silver and gold threads, and the hem was beaded with pearls.
"You'll look like the top of Varice's cake." He warned.
Kalasin laughed. "Don't worry, I'll be presentable. That's Lianne's shawl. That's the overdress." She pointed to the corner.
He sighed. "The fashion?"
"Apparently I'm not the only one tired of wearing a gold collar. Your regard for me will show quite clearly whenever I wear this in your company." She smiled wickedly, feeling pleased to have recovered her figure after the long months of pregnancy.
Kaddar's arms encircled her, and he kissed her quickly. Lianne turned her eyes to the infant princess, cooing at her and grinning. Only a few months ago, Kaddar would not have touched Kalasin spontaneously or in the presence of others. But now, he did both. "Enough." The Tortallan princess said. "Stop teasing your husband. I'll do your buttons for you."
Kalasin stepped into an elegant green damask-velvet garment. It was a hybrid of Eastern and Southern styles, combining the best of both styles in a single gown. The pattern was cut rather conservatively by Tortallan standards, though rather daringly by Carthaki standards. The neck scooped modestly, but the bodice fit tightly. The skirt fell straight from an empire waist, trimmed with gold braid. The sleeves were a combination of leg-of-mutton and bell patterns. The fabric was heavy—it was native to Chelogu, the province of Kaddar's father. The Empress picked up the veil and positioned it expertly. Lianne brought a crown over, which Kalasin used to anchor the veil.
Kaddar's beloved spun on her impossible heals. "Well? Aren't I a credit to you?"
"You could run around in sacking and be a credit. I have just learned to cover up that which is precious and beautiful, lest the gods cast their eyes and grown jealous of too much beauty." Kaddar bowed. "Are the babies ready?"
"Dressed and pressed, though it'll last all of five minutes." The aunt shook her head. "Kirabo is going to be such a handful for you, Kally."
"I know. He's with his grandma. She accused me of spoiling him." She winked at her husband. "Really, she and your niece just want to fuss over him. Here, put this on, Lia." Kalasin held out a garment.
Lianne shrugged into a floor length jacket of finest linen. Like Daine's of a decade earlier, the hem was weighted with beads. Her silk undergown was blue, while the jacket was violet. The combination complemented her complexion. She would wear a thin tiara to mark her rank, after he hair was dressed. Together, the dark-haired sisters made a very striking picture. Kalasin began combing Lianne's tangled hair while Lianne straightened out the thousand and one bows on Gzifa's Name-Day gown.
The Emperor picked up his daughter before she could fuss. "You don't have to go home right away." Kaddar found himself telling his wife's sister.
Kalasin stopped brushing her sister's hair. Lianne looked up, and the girls shared an upside down smile. Lianne reached a hand back, and Kalasin took it and squeezed.
"We talked about that." Lianne admitted. Kalasin resumed brushing her sister's hair. "If I stayed, I could learn more about riding, and I could teach Alina a thing or two, perhaps. And I could study art at the University, and have a very pleasant life. I could marry a noble, to strengthen the alliance between our realms. I could stay and play auntie to your darlings."
"But?" He sensed her hesitation.
"But I would live my life behind these veils. I would miss seasons and crisp Midwinter. The slaves are hard for me to see. I would miss Liam and Jasson and the family. And…there may or may not be a young man for me at home."
"The Maren prince?" Kaddar inquired, "I thought your parents' messenger said that was to be delayed?"
"A Tortallan." Lianne blushed.
Kaddar met Kalasin's eyes. She smiled slightly, and nodded. "I'm okay." She mouthed to him.
Kaddar nodded. "We're dropping anchor at the temporary dock, and then you ladies may come out and walk to shore. They've almost finished with the tents." He handed Gzifa back to his sister-in-law. Kaddar executed a bow, not deep or overly formal, but a mark of respect.
His wife returned his bow with a gracious tilt of her head. "Would you mind going next door to check on your mother and our son?" Kalasin asked. "She decided to make sure that the heir, at least, represents Carthaki nobility."
Kaddar nodded. "My sister and Alina are with her."
"Just…" His wife hesitated.
"I know, I don't like being parted from them either. I'll check. Be ready to disembark in twenty minutes?" He pleaded.
The sisters nodded.
"Good," Kaddar acknowledged without much faith, "Buri and Varice said they'll have everything prepared by then, come hell or high water."
Kalasin giggled nervously, "Don't say it like a challenge," She pleaded.
He nodded, and left.
"Thank the gods Varice is being such a good sport about doing this celebration picnic style," Kally said to Lia.
"Varice is relieved, I think. She actually suggested holding it on land to Buri, but we didn't think there were any neutral Islands in the Great Inland Sea," Lia answered as they turned their attention to dressing Gzifa in the elaborate over-gown, "I think this thing has more buttons than the pink tissue dress." Lianne exclaimed after a minute.
Kalasin giggled. "Moderation is not something that Carthakis understand, or accept with grace." She said simply.
"I guess not." Lianne grumbled.
"Mmm." Kalasin tied the last microscopic bow and lifted her daughter up high. "Oh, doesn't she look perfect? I wish I could keep this moment, forever."
The sisters stood together. Kalasin was slightly taller. Lianne rested her head against her sister for a moment. "You mean you don't want her to grow up and get married and move away and have babes of her own?"
"You took me too seriously." Kalasin blinked away the sentimental moment. "I do want her to grow, and learn, and see beautiful things. But I fear the time when I cannot protect them, when there will be problems less easily solved than hunger, or wetness. When the day comes that he leaves me to become a page, or she leaves to study magic, I would like to have a record of this moment, to remind me. In case she turns into Nora and crabs at everyone over a lost ribbon or decides that her mother can't do anything right…So I can think, yes, there were wonderful moments."
Lianne laughed. "She might be like you, and think that her mother is completely wonderful."
Kalasin sniffled. "Oh, I am going to miss you."
"Me too." Lianne whispered, and then the sisters were hugging each other, with Kalasin's daughter between them.
"You will always be welcome in my Court. If you ever change your mind, I could find you a nice young artist or horse trainer to marry."
Lianne broke the embrace and found a handkerchief. "Someone might have something to say about that. I hope."
Kalasin shifted Gzifa to her other arm. "I'm sorry I couldn't wait to have the babies until after his ship launched, but they decided that they wanted to meet their family."
Lianne laughed and sniffed. "We're going to have to redo our faces now, you realize?"
"Let's wait till we're ashore. It'll be easier on dry land. Now answer me."
"I don't want to say anything about him. I mean, what if he doesn't feel the same? What if he met a girl in Corus who would be less trouble? What if he decides that enduring the gossip isn't worth it?"
"Since when has a Swoop child been afraid of wagging tongues?" Kalasin arched an eyebrow. "I think you're imposing your superficial fears on him so that you don't have to think about what really frightens you."
"And what really frightens me?" The little sister challenged.
"That Liam will disapprove."
Lianne sucked in her breath.
Kalasin plunged ahead, "If I had liked anyone at home, Roald's opinion would've been the world to me."
Lianne made a face. "Liam likes Alan."
"As your beau?" Kalasin spread a cloth over her shoulder and lifted Gzifa so that to baby peeked over her mother's shoulder.
"I don't even know if it'll be an issue." Lianne insisted. "Come on, let's go prove your husband wrong and be early."
"Oh no." Kalasin laughed. "If I prove that I can be ready early once, he'll expect me to be on time to everything. No, I'll get there on the dot and not a second before."
Lianne smiled. "You really are the Empress, aren't you?"
"Remember how Mama used to say 'when you're important, they wait'?"
"No, I don't think I do." Lianne said.
Kally paused and considered. "Actually, it wasn't Mama. She was always just a bit overly optimistic about how quickly she could get from the stables to supper. Maybe it was the Duchess of Naxen."
"No, she always says: "I have many vices, but punctuality isn't one of them."" Lianne corrected.
"I thought the Duchess of Queenscove used to say that, only she used "virtues" instead of "vices."" Kalasin thought for a moment.
"You might be right." The younger sister conceded, "Are you excited?" Lianne finally asked, emphasizing the word "you."
"What do you mean?" Kalasin tried to smooth her features into a bland expression.
"To see Mama again."
"Of course I'm excited."
"Because it's all right if you're nervous or something."
"I want to see Mama again." Kalasin said distinctly. "I want to, but at the same time, I want her to approve."
Lianne stared for a moment. "Approve? How could she do anything but?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake." Kalasin shifted Gzifa to her other shoulder. The baby had slipped into her mid-morning doze. "You know the story. By the end of her and papa's first three years, there was a new tax code, a new education system in the works, and the Queen's Riders had been established. She had two babies, the hearts of the realm and a nickname."
"In your first four years as Empress, you have worked on improving access to education, phasing out slavery, and improving conditions in jails. You built schools, hospitals and orphanages, just to name a few. You have two children, and, in case you didn't notice, you have a nickname too."
"Empress of Carthak is a title, not a nickname."
"Do you really not know?" Lianne teased. "Sit down, I want to put this ribbon through the crown."
Kalasin sat, "All I know is that my husband keeps joking about brawls between Copper Islanders and my subjects about whose Queen is more beautiful."
"They're calling you Kalasin the Beloved."
"The Beloved?"
"Because Kaddar didn't take a second wife when you and he took your time about producing heirs. And because he's so devoted to you. And because you are good to your people, and they adore you."
The Empress laughed, "And because I created a fashion trend called "husband's regard"?"
"That may have something to do with it," Lianne agreed.
"Kalasin the Beloved," The Empress tested the name, "I wouldn't mind being remembered that way."
"You are, you know?"
"What?"
"Beloved. You are loved, by your family and friends at home, and here."
"Here, I think most of them still love an image."
"Kaddar loves more than the image."
"I know," Kalasin agreed. "I think that Nadereh and I have the foundation of a real friendship. I like Varice, but she keeps me conscious that I am the Empress and she is my housekeeper."
"It's lonely, being everyone's boss. I think Nadereh will be a good friend. And there's nothing like seeing your sister's inner workings to build common ground, right?"
Kalasin blushed, "Have I told you the schedule for the day yet?"
"No, I don't think so." Lianne tied the ribbon in Kalasin's hair to match Gzifa's ribbons.
"When we get to shore, we'll sit in the ladies' tent. I imagine we'll take off our finery, to avoid rumpling it or sweating to death."
Liane nodded, "That velvet is thick enough to get the Lioness through November in Scanra."
"Ah, but the women of Chelogu, my husband's province, made it for me to honor me on the day my children are offered to the gods," Kalasin shrugged. "Buri, Nadereh, Alina and Princess Fazia will join us in the tent, with my son. Varice will probably be in the kitchen tent, checking on her work. We'll have a snack—probably a variation of the mango lassi that Lord Zaymid's bride brought with her from the Copper Isles. We'll feed the babies, get dressed again, and by that time the Tortallans will be ready. The ceremony will occur, we'll have a meal, exchange gifts and letters and then…" Kalasin's voice trailed off. She stood up and ambled over toward the porthole.
"And then I will protest that we can't sail away at dark, but suggest we wait until first light. No one will disagree, so we will go to the ladies' tent with Mama and you two will talk all night, and in the morning we'll exchange lots of hugs and kisses, and you will promise to pay us an Imperial visit over the Midwinter that Alan tries for his shield, and we'll show your babies all the things their mama did when she was a little girl, and they'll see all the people you knew and loved. Does that sound like a plan?"
"Yes." Kalasin bowed her head away from her sister, "A good plan." She breathed in Gzifa's new baby smell, and felt her heart give a pained thump.
"Then what's wrong?" Lia worried.
"Nothing," Kally said, "Nothing real. It's just that," She stumbled over her words, "I'm afraid that I'll see them, and I'll freeze. All the love and the sorrow will mix and I won't be able to say anything. It's not very much time to get reacquainted and then be parted again. And what if one of the boys comes? Liam, or Jasson, or even Roald? I won't be able to see them face-to-face. I'll have this veil between us."
Lianne bit her lip, "I don't think you'll freeze. There's pain in the present, but there's more joy. The babies need you to be here, and you need to be with them more than you need to retreat or heal."
The Empress shifted her daughter, but left the cloth on her shoulder. "Have you always been so wise?" Kalasin teased, but she approached and touched her sister's arm to say she meant it lovingly.
"It's a recent development. And now, we better go, or we will be late."
"I'm chronically late," Kally answered. "Lia?"
"What?"
"Thank you."
"For what?" Lianne asked. She didn't think that she had done anything really unusual.
"For being my sister. I'm not as lonely as I was before you came."
"Oh Kally," Lianne plopped down, heedless of the wrinkles, and began to cry, "I don't know if I can really leave. You make me not feel lonely too."
Kalasin embraced her little sister with the arm that wasn't holding the baby.
Lia's tears wet the cloth. "What if I have to go to Maren?" She asked, "What if Alan doesn't love me? What if he wants me to stop drawing and riding? What if I never find anyone to talk to?" She babbled.
Kalasin made soothing little sounds and patted her sister's back, "You won't have to go to Maren. Papa and Mama will give you a choice. You are always welcome here, even if Tortall turns out not to be your place." Lianne wailed, and Kalasin bit her tongue for a half second, before continuing, "Alan does love you, but if you choose not to make a life together based on that feeling, well, you'll find someone or something else to live for. I don't know which "he" would want you to stop doing things that you love and are good at, but he wouldn't be worth your time. And even if there's no one there to talk to, imagine I'm there, and say what you would say to me. Then put it all in a letter, and I will answer, okay?"
Lia took the baby cloth off Kalasin's shoulder and dried her eyes. "I'm ready. Let's go ashore."
Author's Notes:
Marisa1: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Thank you for telling me that you like Kally's struggles and their consequences. I'm also glad you like Alan and Lianne—hope you're happy with this last chapter.
HeartKel: Wow, thank you for an extensive response. I will try to watch tenses more closely in the future. You are absolutely correct, grammatically, in your correction of the bandits comment. However, even well educated people do not always speak correctly. If it assuages your sensibilities, perhaps Alan said "But if you hear about a great number of bandits who have been terrified into surrendering themselves to King's justice, don't ask too many questions." Thank you very much for enjoying George's dialect. One of the exciting challenges of dialogue is keeping it true to how people of various classes and educational backgrounds and genders speak, while still keeping true to the character. I am so flattered to be called "Tammy literature." Thank you!
Rowenhood: Thank you for telling me you enjoyed reading the story! I thought I would err on the side of caution when it came to the rating for the birth. Thank you so much for liking my characterization, dialogue, and interpretations of canon. Thank you for reading the story!
Hanakazari: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad that the Conte kids are entertaining, and that you liked the family dynamic I tried to show in Carthak. I'm glad you like the story!
Princess81: I'm sorry you were confused. When Lianne and Buri were discussing Kalasin's choices, it was a flashback to their conversation that morning. It occurred before the sewing party, which was why I set it off with tildes (). I'm glad the suspense hooked you. Actually, in the latter part of the chapter I meant to show Kalasin having an out-of-body experience analogous to Jon's during the Sweating Sickness or Rosethorn's at the end of Briar's Book. She did choose to live, but she acquired a measure of peace about what happened to her first child. Thanks for reading, I'm glad you liked the chapter!
Lady Silvamord: Your reviews always make me smile. I'm glad you like Nadereh and that her emotions during Kalasin's labor/delivery were understandable. Thanks for saying you liked Kally's meeting with Emry and her daughter. Are you glad that I took your advice about the twins:) About the grammar: some of the run-ons are there for effect. I wanted to give this sense of confusion and disorientation, and in print, nothing does that (in my opinion anyway) like bad sentence boundaries. When a reader has to think about where to take a breath, it helps him or her to feel the confusion an author wants to create. On the other hand, when the device is abused, the text is unreadable. When I do revisions, I will definitely keep your feedback in mind. Thanks so much for sticking with it.
razzle-dazzle-me: Thanks for your feedback! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. Alan and Raoul are in the next chapter, which is almost completely written. I'm glad you like it—that's significant enough for me!
Rosie eisoR: Thank you for reading the story! I'm glad you're sticking with me—I originally thought the story would be about ten pages, but it has turned into eleven chapters. Go figure. Thank you very much for explaining the rule about quotes, commas and periods. I must've missed it during my first trip though Eats, Shoots and Leaves. I tried to fix it in this post, though I'll confess that it's hard to break the bad habit I formed in six years of writing. Thanks for giving feedback! I'm glad you approve of the way I use minor characters—it's one of the things I love in your stories, especially Cythera and Douglass.
Robinwyn: Thank you for reading all nine chapters:) You paid me such lovely compliments—I'm blushing that you had to remember where you were in TQ. Thank you so much for agreeing with my philosophy: characters should not be forced to act outside their natures for the convenience of plot. The plot evolves out of the characters, and they do have a way of indicating what they want to do and don't want to do. I hope your own writer's block gets cleared up soon. Sometimes, writing a different scene helps get the creative juices flowing so you can go back to that tough moment. Thanks for reading and thanks for your patience. In a busy life, I understand how tough it can be to find time to read (let alone write) fic. I'm glad you'll be looking for the last three chapters!
Kikyo: Thanks for reading. I'm glad you're enjoying my writing and the story!
Trickster666: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you think the story is cool. I've enjoyed writing it so much more than I can say. Thanks for your compliments about the birth scene—I did a lot of research before I wrote it. The first draft was a lot more graphic. I toned it down since that wasn't the heart of my story. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Drunken Little Monkey: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like the story.
Also, I send out a great big thanks to all the judges and folks at the Tortallian Heroes & Emelan Circle Awards. I am honored to be the second place winner in the Immortals section of the contest for 2004. Thanks to all the judges: Merhen, Whispered Promises, Nicole Hickson, Sam Imes, Leah, Xelena, Fyliwion, Lady Miko, Nyctophiliac and HuntressDiana!
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