AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, I admit it–I've never seen more than snippets of The Fog. And while you could probably write a very scary crossover fic between a demonic fog and the Inuyasha bunch, it's a heck of a lot more fun to write a silly crossover fic. Even if the Fog is more of an innocent bystander in this story.
BTW, these 13 little pieces of insanity are more or less connected, which means I lied about there being continuity...sorry 'bout that; it was an accident. Somewhere, Jaken is complaining about Rin (big surprise there). At the same time, Freddy Krueger was trying to frighten Kagome and failing miserably. Inuyasha dreamt about playing Ash to Kikyo's Sheila, then at some point went back to Kagome's time and watched Ringu, after which he slugged Kagome in the worst mistaken identity ever. Then Jason Voorhees showed up to stalk Sango, which has repercussions in this fic. Of course, that also means that, back in the future, zombies have overrun Milwaukee because Kagura can't read a map. In fact, she's still trying to find her way to the Higurashi Shrine, which sets up tomorrow night's and Thursday's ficlettes...
Hey, it's not like the real Inu-Yasha series doesn't have a convoluted storyline. Anyway, as always, enjoy–and much thanks to everyone's who has reviewed this story. It really brightens up an otherwise rough week for your intrepid scribe (that's me).
THE FOG
It was a dark and foggy night. Miroku the monk groped his way through the fog as best he could, hoping the rings on his staff would be sufficient enough to announce his presence to any passerby. That was what they were for, after all–even the most arrogant of samurai would rarely attack a monk, and it would certainly warn any wild animals and other creatures that someone was there. If not, well, Miroku had other ways of dealing with trouble.
This is bad, he thought to himself. I've never seen fog quite like this. Could it be...supernatural? Miroku dismissed that idea. While he had certainly seen enough to be superstitious, he wasn't. He didn't have Kagome's advantage of coming from a world based largely in science, but he had a great deal of common sense--with the exception of the opposite sex, where Miroku had no sense whatsoever. He knew that the fog was likely simply because he was near a river and that conditions were good for fog to develop. With the training of a Buddhist monk, Miroku put aside his fear.
Still, it was very dense, and Miroku, despite himself, was still uneasy. He continued to walk forward for some minutes, trusting his highly-tuned senses that he was traveling in the right direction. It had only been a short distance from a nearby village, where he had picked up a few supplies for the Inu-tachi, to their campsite. Perhaps a mile or two at most. And he was still on the road; he hadn't collided with any of the trees in the surrounding forest. Which was probably a good thing, Miroku thought ruefully. After all, one of the reasons why he had volunteered for the supply run was because Sango had been giving him those I-will-kill-you-very-soon looks. He had made the mistake of peeping on her and Kagome while they had been bathing in the hot springs the night before, and Sango was going bathing again tonight. She had made it plainly clear that Miroku would be risking his life if he tried spying on her, so, being a good monk, he did his best to remove the source of his temptation.
Miroku sighed dreamily, the fog taking a second place to Sango. He really didn't mean to be that much of a pervert. It was just that she entranced him so. Oh, the village women were certainly fine enough, and he enjoyed their attention. But it wasn't the same as Sango's. Perhaps it was because she was a tough fighter in her own right, able to stand her ground as effectively as the men in their group, himself and Inuyasha. Perhaps it was because she, like him, had pretty much lost everything to Naraku. Perhaps it was because she was young and he was young and they were both in the battle of their lives, one which could end those lives at any time.
Or perhaps it was just because Sango had the finest butt Miroku had ever seen. The way that it moved beneath her yukata or her catsuit–especially her catsuit–drove him wild. He certainly meant his groping as a compliment–after all, he liked Kagome, but he hadn't groped her since the first time they had met. She never seemed to understand that he would risk constant slaps, severe head trauma from her hiraikotsu, or even death for that brief moment of bliss whenever he was able to touch her. Besides, it was a lot easier than trying to woo Sango or do what Kagome called "setting the atmosphere." Well, she and Inuyasha weren't getting anywhere, that was for sure.
Miroku was so intent on thinking about Sango and her anatomy that he didn't realize that the fog had grown denser, or that there was now a distinctive demonic aura in the area. One part of Miroku's brain did realize that. It reached up and began ringing the alarm bells, but the other part of Miroku's brain–represented by a mostly naked Sango at this point–kicked the first part to the curb and proceeded to tie it up and gag it. So Miroku, when he needed his common sense the most and his instincts the most, lacked them. He was to pay for it dearly.
Out of the fog loomed a shape. Miroku, lost in a daydream of Sango's kindness and her gentle side (and her bottom), didn't see the figure until he nearly bumped into it. Abruptly, he was jerked back to reality and noticed he was no longer alone. For that matter, he was no longer on the road, but at the edge of the forest. Quickly getting his bearings despite the dense fog, Miroku determined that he was at or near the Inu-tachi's campsite. Seeing the dim shadow of long hair and interesting curves in front of him, Miroku deduced two things quickly: one, the person in front of him had their back to him, and therefore were not likely to be aware of his presence–he was very quiet, nearly as quiet as Inuyasha when he wanted to be. Two, the person in front of him–because of the aforementioned hair and curves–was likely Sango, back from her bath. She was even wearing that pink towel that Kagome had given her as a birthday gift–the one that reduced Miroku to a puddle of drool. If he was wrong and it was Kagome–well, Lady Higurashi had a rather nice behind as well.
So, Miroku instinctively–that is to say, without thinking–reached forward and grabbed. Too late, he realized two other things: one, the demonic aura in the area, and two, that the hair was not black-turned-gray by the fog, but rather white-turned-gray by the fog.
"WHAT THE HELL!" Inuyasha exploded. Also acting instinctively, that is to say without thinking, the hanyou whirled and drove a fist right between Miroku's eyes. The monk put up no defense–he was stricken with horror at the fact that he had just grabbed a handful of upset hanyou rather than upset demon huntress or upset miko. Miroku dropped like an unstrung puppet to the ground and stayed there.
"Inuyasha, what is it?" Kagome asked, stumbling to him through the fog.
Inuyasha bent down. "I think I killed Miroku." He sniffed. "No, he's still breathing." He looked back at Kagome, who had a hand over her mouth in shock. "Hey, he grabbed my butt! The pervert must've gotten confused by this damn fog!"
Kagome bit down on her lip and stepped on Shippo's tail before either of them could dissolve into helpless laughter. Inuyasha didn't notice them, as he smelled Sango coming back to the campsite. "Sango! We're over here!" He doubted that Sango would slap him, mistaking him for Miroku, but Inuyasha was taking no chances now. The demon huntress soon arrived, dressed in her yukata and her bath stuff over her shoulder. She nearly tripped over Miroku. "What the–how did he get back here so fast?" Sango exclaimed. "I could've sworn I just knocked him out over by the hot spring..."