AUTHOR'S NOTES: Anyone who doesn't think Jaws isn't a horror movie has never seen the famous "head falls out of the boat" scene. I jumped three feet when I saw that.

Oh, and in the continued interest of continuity (hah!), you will note the repercussions of Kagura's Dawn of the Dead here at the beginning...and some clues where this is going interspersed throughout tonight's ficlette. Before the last clue plows into you like Sango's boomerang, anyway.

And because there is nudity in this chapter–yes, it's text, but you little perverts have active imaginations–this story is rated PG. Just remember, Kagura is only a two-dimensional character. Even if Takahashi does draw her verrrry nicely.

JAWS

Chicago (AP)– The strange disease first spotted a week ago in the wilds of Wisconsin continues to spread, according to state officials reached at Green Bay this week. According to FEMA and CDC officials, the origins of the disease are not known, and representatives of the CDC in Atlanta today admitted that they have no ideas of the disease's origins. "We think we may know how it is spread–it's a bloodborne pathogen," CDC representative Ritsuko Akagi said in today's press conference. "You should be fine as long as you are not bitten by any of the infected." While Akagi declined to comment on reports from Wisconsin that the only way to deal with an infected host is to shoot them in the head, she was adamant on the name increasingly used by laymen to describe the disease. "These are not, repeat not zombies," she stated. "We think they can be cured. They are certainly not eating the brains of the living–that's just bad horror movies."

Though CDC claims to have contained the outbreak for the most part to southern Wisconsin and northern Illinois, Milwaukee remains closed to all but military personnel for the fourth straight day. Family members attempting to enter Milwaukee to rescue people known to be trapped by the infestation were turned back. And to further complicate the issue, there have been several reports now emanating from England of similar "zombie" cases there...

Kagura might have found this report interesting, if she had known how to read. Since she didn't even know how to read Japanese, let alone English, the report did her little good. It especially didn't when the newspaper it was in hit her in the face at forty miles an hour, just off the tip of Long Island. Kagura swore, tore the paper off her face, and slowly descended towards the calm waters of the Atlantic below, her feather gently riding the wind she controlled.

Kagura was more than a little upset. First, Naraku had managed to mess up his so-called dimension door spell, depositing her not outside Kagome Higurashi's hometown of Tokyo, but instead outside a much-smaller city. Too late, Kagura had realized that she had summoned her dancing dead, allowed them to infect and spread their poison to an epidemic, and had managed to do it to the wrong place. This Milwaukee was nowhere near Japan. Things had gone downhill from there. As a part of Naraku's body, Kagura had the form and intelligence of a grown woman, but the life experiences of a three year old. As such, she never had needed to read or otherwise decipher things such as maps, and now she was hopelessly lost in a modern world she didn't understand or like. Knowing that Tokyo–Edo in her time–was somewhere to the east, she had journeyed that way by feather until she reached a sprawling city on the shores of a bay. She landed there, only to find that the place was called New York City. She had promptly had to defend herself from a thief, but the man had been happy to tell her that Tokyo was further east. Kagura had let him off with a Dance of the Dragon before leaving. She had begun her journey again, only to nearly be eaten by giant metal birds. Flying lower, she had been hit by the newspaper. Now thoroughly disgusted, Kagura stopped on the ocean to ponder her options. "That idiot Naraku," she fumed, slapping the water in frustration.

Far below, something stirred in the deep. Smaller fish swam out of its way in a hurry as it swam towards the surface, attracted by the sudden commotion. It was huge, this great white shark, over thirty feet in length and armed with a mouth full of razors. For all its lethality and its size, the shark was not too intelligent, its tiny brain only seeing a shadow above it as it swam closer.

Kagura's stomach rumbled, reminding her she had not eaten in over a day. She looked at the ocean, and the fish. She smacked her lips. As a demon, she could go for days without eating without adverse effects, but Kagura did like a good meal of sushi. With her talents, fishing was easy–all it would take was a magical waterspout or two, and all the fish she would want was hers for the taking. But Kagura was angry, and decided she would fish the old fashioned way. She stripped out of her kimono (yay, text-based fanservice, woo-hoo) and dived naked into the water, a fan in her teeth.

The shark changed course instantly. Its eyesight was not much better than its brain, so it quickly assumed that the thing that dived in the water was a sea lion. Or perhaps a seal. Either way, it would be tasty.

As a demon, Kagura didn't need to breathe, so she swam around to her heart's content. Besides, after the mess her dancing dead tended to leave, the smog she had flown through, and the smelly mugger, she figured the bath would do her well, even if it was salt water. At last, she spotted a likely dinner–a tuna. Moving faster than a human could, Kagura closed in, unsnapping her fan for the kill.

Too late, she sensed an even faster presence behind her. Kagura twisted around, only to be confronted with a solid wall of jagged teeth and a cavelike mouth that opened, opened for her.

A brief struggle later, and it was all over. A torn fan drifted silently and slowly into the abyss below. A solitary feather floated on the surface. The shark swam on, content to digest its meal as it looked for more. After all, sharks weren't evil, but like Saiyans, they just lived to eat.

Suddenly, the shark trembled. Had it been human, it would've looked very surprised, for inside its stomach came the muffled words, "You DARE to eat the wind?" The shark then started thrashing around, chasing its tail, and then exploded in a giant underwater mushroom cloud of blood, guts, and gore. (Ew.)

Kagura popped to the surface. Her hair was now completely ruined, one of her fans was gone, and she was bruised and cut from being swallowed whole. "Damn you, Naraku! First you deposit me in some weird world of Kagome's. Then I unleash my dead on the wrong city. Then I get eaten by a frigging shark!" She put her head down on the feather in despair. Then a piece of shark floated by; Kagura scooped it up and ate it. Her face brightened. "Well! Shark-fin soup. Not bad!"

She collected a few more pieces of instant sushi and climbed into her feather. She dressed in her kimono and resumed her flight east, settling into a nice repast. Once she was full, by which time the sun had set, Kagura watched the stars from the safety of her feather, and decided that life could be worse. She was, after all, free of Naraku's influence for awhile. And she had survived a shark attack. And it was a rather beautiful night. "Perhaps when I reach this 'England' island, someone there can give me directions to Higurashi's shrine..."

"Erm...there's been a bit of a...a mix-up with the table, babe."

"What do you mean?"

"They're full up."

"But...but I thought you said it was all okay?"

"Uh, yes, well..."

"You didn't book it, did you, Shaun."

"No."

"So what's the plan, then?"

"Um...the Winchester?"