Summary: War races, still, through the streets of Kyoto. Suffering and agony keep haunting souls. As some try to seek a new Era, others do not. In the dark, a courtesan struggles to remain alive, while an assassin tries not to kill anymore, having a sheath to keep the madness asleep. In the eye of the storm, will they have the chance to live their lives and discover the gravity of love?

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Shame.

Observation: Read instructions left in the first page before you start to read this.

Whispers in the winter

Chapter One: Life's Shade
By Heidi at November 2,2005

She feels strange. She feels tired. Yet, someway mysteriously, others had also perceived her grotesque changes, but then again, she knew she could not prevent them to. After all, she did not have the vibration and joy she once had.

The reason why…

Kaoru let out a tired sigh. She urgently wished to understand the motivation of why she felt so awkward, even abnormally towards herself. So far, nothing came into the clear. And that aggravates even more her situation.

"It seems I have lost weight…" She said, while looking at herself in front of her vast mirror. Her expression reflected understandable preoccupation.

"First I lose my liveliness, now I lose weight…" She whispered tiredly, while spreading her arms, trying to catch her bed to sit on. "If I continue in that rhythm, soon I will be elsewhere except for here."

She closed her eyes, too tired already to keep thinking about that, or anything for the matter.

A soft knock however, ruined her silence.

"Kamiya-san, may I come in?" She heard a soft voice saying.

Kaoru sighed and sat more properly on her bed. "Yes, you may Manami." She answered back softly.

Leisurely the oak door went open, revealing a young lady, almost the same age Kaoru held.

The girl who had a long brunette hair approached the bed carefully, where Kaoru was laid. A timid smile emerged from her lips.

"Kamiya-san," The girl started, "Yumi-san craves a word with you." She informed, while approaching a little bit closer of Kaoru's bed.

Her apprehensive eyes wandered some spots around the room, while waiting for the response.

Kaoru let out a tired sight, yet another, and perceiving Manami's discomfort in front of her, she decided to promptly answer. Otherwise, she feared the girl would pass away if remained there any longer, "Very well, inform her that soon I will be in her room, will you?" She said to the girl that was still standing, and looked into her eyes, a small smile sketched in her face.

Manami sustained her stare upon Kaoru for some seconds, eccentrically, still seeming to wait for a reply.

Kaoru observed the girl uncertain, "You heard me?" She asked in a doubtful tone, while she placed one of her legs in the cold floor, preparing herself to rise.

The girl who before seemed to be in a trance, woke up when heard those words. Her face flushed vaguely, revealing the embarrassment caused by her alienation.

"Yes Madam." She replied to Kaoru in the same way, uncomfortable, "If you will excuse me Kamiya-san." She said lastly, hurrying up until she caught one of the doors.

Still in her bed, Kaoru pursued the girl with her eyes, waiting anxiously to punctually be left alone.

When she saw the girl stepping off of her room, she closed her eyes with relief. She felt somnolent; she needed to rest a bit longer.

Nevertheless, the question lingered - how long could she still continue?

Kaoru opened her eyes suddenly. While her eyes were open, they only focalized her ornamented red ceiling, precisely above her. She blinked once, twice, as if needing the assurance that she was awake; She closed them again, relieved.

"That dream," She whispered, her eyes still closed. "I already had it…" She told herself both convicted and tired.

Her eyes went open once more, and both hands closed the gap between her and the outside world. For some reason, she never embraced herself. At least while living there. Perhaps she had just forgotten, never really sparing time for herself, or, her new residence started to imprint a sensation of valueless person inside her.

However, for the moment, she felt deeply pleased to have herself breathing, and also for the fantastic feeling of her soft skin beneath her palms.

Yes, she proved to herself that, she still was, in some terms, alive.

After some meditation about her previous dream, Kaoru decided to get up, and when finished all her morning chores, she would leave her room and talk to Yumi. Although she knew exactly the subject of this conversation, internally, she prayed to somehow be wrong.

She just needed time.

In small steps, Kaoru continued to stroll through the long hallway, passing by doors, similar to her own. Except that, her true destination went awfully beyond this ordinary walk, and quite ahead of simply contemplate those beautiful doors. Her true purpose displayed the gravity that those trivial things could never achieve.

While she strolled by the corridor, she could feel her chest retract itself, in such agony never felt or imagined before. Not in the last few months, at least. The rhythm of her heart seemed to have reached the known human limit, not to say possible; yet, her heart always managed to discover a way out to carry on hurrying its pulse every time that the very last, also major door, pierced its form inside her eyes. Approaching itself of Kaoru at every step she takes. For her, it felt more like an internal desperation.

Kaoru did not know exactly what to prognosticate about that inevitable discussion. Perhaps she could be mistaken regarding her currently troubled situation, which she had internally created when related to the emotional; she might, truthfully, have a sociable discussion, she might also hear pleasant words, instead of harsh words as she was imagining. Certainly, everything would be just a dreadful, as well momentary, blindness, due to the fact of her partial ignorance concerning her present situation... however, what if, in the end, all of her silent distress grows itself as the unkind truth?

'Here I am.' Kaoru thought, her face being only apart from the major door by a few centimeters. 'This situation is terrifying… but it is, as I'm aware, unavoidable." She reflected, under another attempt to sooth her hasty heart – and also, sooth the feeling of dread, which continued to grow, despite her efforts. Deep inside she feared that someone would actually be able to hear her boisterous spirit – just as she could listen to.

Breathing deeply, Kaoru raised one of her hands and delicately knocked on the surface of the large door. No reply however. She knocked another time, now more insistent.

After several seconds, Kaoru could hear from far away calm and measured steps. Shortly the door moved onward, revealing nothing more than one of the maids that use to escort Yumi.

"Yes Kamiya-san, how may I help you?" The maid, whose hand was based on one side of the oak door, asked Kaoru, her tone welcoming.

Kaoru smiled gently and swung her head in affirmation. "Yes." Kaoru replied, her manner hiding the genuine feeling within herself.

"Soon this morning I received a request given by my chaperon, like yourself, that Yumi-san wishes to see me." Kaoru informed the maid politely. "Could you notify her that I am already here to speak to her?"

The maid only motioned an affirmation with her head, and quickly closed the door to communicate her madam she had a visit.

After some instants, which for Kaoru in that occasion had been decades, the maid appeared again, this time though, asking politely to Kaoru come in with her.

"Please, come in Kamiya-san."

Internally fighting against herself for her anxiety, Kaoru managed to swiftly enter the room, and whilst she was accomplishing it, she desperately tried to spread tranquility on her semblance.

Yumi sat elegantly on a standard sofa, having her beautiful double bed opposed to the couch. According to the cloths that Yumi was still wearing, Kaoru deducted that she had been recently wide-awake.

An embarrassing silence surrounded the room, while the maid settled herself alongside her madam.

Yumi smiled moderately, while she eyed Kaoru.

"Give us privacy Hiroko." Yumi said, without even cast a glance to the maid beside her. "When I necessitate you once more, you will be informed. Now go."

The maid listened amenably to Yumi's order, and lightly left the room.

Yumi persisted to stare at Kaoru, which for her internal surprise, was managing to hide in an impressive manner her apprehension. Or so she thought.

"Have a seat Kaoru-san." Yumi said politely, as she indicated with her finger a location in front of herself for Kaoru sit down.

"Thank you, Yumi-san."

Yumi gazed fixedly at Kaoru's face, as if she was searching for something. "Well," Yumi initiated, her tone becoming serious. "Kaoru-san, you see, as both owner and friend, I must inform you that I am, currently, worried about your situation." Yumi halted for a few instants, after saying the prior phrase. "Consequently, at that moment, if not previously, you might already be discerning for what reason this conversation will and is right at this instant taking place."

Kaoru looked at her for some time, uncertain whether she should confess her knowledge of the present condition or not. Inwardly, Kaoru knew that Yumi had never been a real friend to anyone, the reason behind her preoccupation towards her nowadays, the reason why she sought to resolve that problem, was, and still is, a personal interest. In view of the fact that, Yumi was aware, unquestionably, of how much Kaoru was valued and treasured inside her luxurious brothel.

"I would be an entire fool if I had not realized that I had been, and still am, suffering those bizarre… changes." Kaoru confessed, with the smallest hesitation, in the choice of words. Specially now, knowing that would be useless to lie; no one is too idiot to not notice a situation such as hers clearly.

Yumi just carried on staring at Kaoru, as if she had not said anything interesting. In her sofa, Yumi moved, trying to chase a far more comfortable position to herself. After several seconds, she simply swung her head to both sides, as if internally congratulating herself on something.

"As I predicted, you knew very well why I requested to see you…. and, you told me, unattached of ceremony." Yumi told her, her form, motionless, on top of her sofa. Her mouth curved into a sly smile, "And still, you passed through that door praying to each, if not all Gods at once, for me not notice how frightened you were inside." She related to Kaoru; somehow her tone sounded to Kaoru's ears a sinister satisfaction. "And right now, you are frozen. So wholly, that is even hard to move or even breathe."

Kaoru, just as alleged, could not move nor breathe properly. Could it be that her both wish and nightmare were about to become the truth? After this long, after the things she had been trough… after all, would them give her release?

Would she give her release?

"I…" Kaoru surprisingly managed to say, her air stagnant. She felt her lungs screaming for oxygen, telling her desperately that she had to breathe. "I have tried to hide it, yes… yet, the reason why I behaved and somehow still am, is only because I have no clue of what is motivating my problem. Of course I know I do have something, except, I just cannot term it."

Yumi, after hearing Kaoru's speech, looked down, lacked of any expression. "You are afraid of something…" Yumi deduced. "I see… you are afraid that I'm going to banish you from this house, am I right?"

Kaoru gave her no reply. She could not identify, at the moment, if Yumi wanted to keep her there, despite the fact Kaoru provided part of her high-quality life, or just wished to exorcise her immediately.

"I will not, hear this, expel you from that house." Yumi told her simply. "However, you are not allowed to tell anyone about your condition. No one."

Kaoru stiffened. The fear, which that had been racing through her bloodstream, was beginning to dispel. "But, how am I supposed to treat myself, to discover what I am carrying within my body if I cannot seek help?" Kaoru returned her question toYumi. Apparently she had soothed herself a little. "It must be something physical…"

Yumi swung her head in agreement. "Perhaps." She admitted. "But we shall hire a medical to examine you…" She halted. "Or no, I have a better suggestion… I have an acquaintance who is a very fine medical doctor, I am sure she will not tell anyone about you."

Kaoru smiled softly. "I will call an appointment."

"In that case, you should hurry." Yumi said, while getting up. "You and your maid will pay a visit to this doctor today, the sooner you treat it, the sooner you will feel fine." She answered Kaoru quickly, while she proceeded to her bed. Yumi stooped herself lightly, opened a small drawer, which belonged to a bedside table.

With a hand, she carefully caught a small white paper that was on top of a small book. For a few instants, Yumi retained both eyes fixed on the paper, her expression, however, pensive.

Kaoru from her spot stared at Yumi – presently feeling a strange expectation. She took a step forward, wanting – in her mind – to move closer. "Yumi-san," Kaoru called hesitant, motionless since she had taken the initial step. "Any Problem?"

Yumi who was still contemplative turned her face lightly – yet displaying a lost expression – and lifted an eyebrow; her mouth slightly open. "No," she replied and paused for a moment, apparently seeming to have realized her lethargic condition. She blinked confused and looked down – she noticed one hand atop of the bedside table, the other one strongly holding a small and creased piece of paper. "Everything is just fine..." She returned, her voice vague – her back atKaoru.

Yumi closed the drawer speedily and turned. "Here it is." She murmured; a hand stretched towards Kaoru, the paper hanging on the tip of her fingers.

Kaoru stared at Yumi unsure. She took some steps at Yumi's direction until she caught the paper; Kaoru removed carefully them away from her hands, and held it against her chest.

"Thank you." Kaoru uttered barely audible – while looking straightly at Yumi.

Yumi said nothing, merely swung her head slowly, displaying an affirmation by moving it. "I am sure that she still lives in this address ... in spite of not possessing firm residence wherever she passes... I am positive that you may find her at that location." Yumi informed firmly.

Kaoru agreed. "Then, I am going to call Manami to accompany me..." She neither informed in a tone nor low nor high, average, while she retained the small paper inside kimono's fold.

Yumi continued to stare at her, smiling without excesses – Kaoru noticed then, that the changes of temperament of her brothel lady were done in the most strange form; no explanation connected to any mood swing, or apparent reason for that matter.

"Great. When you return, I want you to head yourself initially to my room." She said lightly, a hand being lifted and soon signaling a dismissal to Kaoru.

Kaoru did not wait very much and in quick steps and without hesitating she crossed the room. Inside her heart, she had never felt so grateful for being already outside the room, and mostly, over with the first part of that conversation.

At last, seems that it has not been as bad as she had formerly imagined.

Manami was walking a little aback of Kaoru, she wore modest clothes, but far from being of distasteful appearance - only the necessary so that she could contrast as a chaperon. Kaoru, however, dressed in – almost all its conjuncture – a kimono made of silk; beautifully adorned – someone might think – and too much "generous", for that matter, just for a simple walk in – relatively – dirty streets. Kaoru's status however, might not allow another type of vestment.

Kaoru halted for some instants, feeling the possibility of collapsing anytime soon. Quickly realizing the unforeseen pause, Manami conduced one of her hands around Kaoru's wrist.

"Kamiya-san?" Manami called preoccupied, surrounding Kaoru.

Yet, with a raised hand, Kaoru prevented her servant of approaching further, murmuring that nothing had happened, at all. "I am feeling well Manami... we ought to continue." Kaoru only warned – neutral strain – recommencing to walk.

Manami did not follow Kaoru; she stood still, an unquiet expression exposed on her feature. "Kamiya-san, you should have listened to Manami ... my lady could have caught her personal transport..." Manami lamented more to herself, remorseful – for she had no control over the present disorderliness as she wished to.

Kaoru however, paid no attention to Manami's words and continued to march, quietly.

Without any reply, Manami sighed in frustration; she surveyed her surroundings, seeking for something that could aid both women, but she had no success whatsoever. She started to walk, accelerating her steps so that she could reach Kaoru's location, which was, clearly – to her despair– terribly ahead of her.

After approximately eight minutes of the slight complicated walk, Kaoru smiled, a certain contentment crossing her feature. "We have arrived." She whispered, without even being bothered when a cold breeze had passed by her face - announcing above all, climate changes.

Manami placed herself next to Kaoru– firmly per say – for the first time since they had left the brothel; her small eyes were fixed in the guesthouse's plaque. Could be read the writing: 'Hakura Inn.'

Kaoru graciously turned her face to take a glance at Manami, then smiled. "We must go in." She said only, while she peeked through the door. "Excuse me," Kaoru called, doing so whereto her presence could be sensed. "Somebody, please."

A man, hearing the call, appeared opposite to them, his smile noticeable.

"Yes, how may I help?" The man asked, his eyes somewhat stern, contradicting the smile he had pasted upon his face.

Manami delicately caught the paper that was under Kaoru's possession, and gently greeted the man. "Hello Sir, please, I would like to know if here resides a lady named Takani-san?"

The man stopped for a brief instant, visibly thoughtfully; he looked down with a smile still attached upon his face, visibly satisfied with the question. It seemed that somebody else was asking for salvation. "Oh yes, please, come in..." The man asked calmly, moving away to make space, so that both passed.

Kaoru entered first, soon being followed by Manami.

The man looked at Kaoru, his semblance distant. He had realized the distance that the first woman who had spoken to him maintained from the other – which clearly was containing a refined posture.

When they all were already inside the guesthouse, – which seemed crowded – the man distanced himself and became suddenly serious. Apparently he wanted to make a question.

"Who wishes to see Takani-san?"

Manami once again moved from her position behind Kaoru, "The one who wishes to see is my lady, Kamiya-san." She informed, not too formally.

The man looked at them pensively, examining the situation. "Indication?"

This time Kaoru took a step forward and led the conversation – the man was being abusive, making so many questions for a simple request – it was, at least, what her mind suggested.

"Sir I apologize, but I have urgency to see Takani-san." Kaoru cut in, exasperated, hardly displaying control, as she should. "Notify her that I am here and that I also came indicated by Komagata-san, she certainly shall know what to do."

The man looked at her horrified, the stated words had evidently helped – especially after the stated surname.

"Sir?" Kaoru restively attracted his attention.

The man still deprived of any reaction to Kaoru's question, continued only to gaze at her.

"I'm lacking patience Sir," Kaoru rudely told him, "where is she?" She demanded irritated, a hand rising to capture Manami's attention to her.

Seeming to sense the irritation resonate in Kaoru's voice, in a sudden impulse, the man swung his head, visibly confused, his eyes soon locking with the infuriated ones, however restrained, of Kaoru.

"Pardon me..." The man babbled slightly dazed, his hands calmly being lifted, his index finger exhibiting their way. "Please, this way, I am going to take you there." He informed, while trying to relax his body.

Kaoru signaled in understanding and turned to her chaperon. "Manami." Kaoru convoked, quickly looking at the man who was waiting for them at the staircase's first steeping stone.

The two women walked towards the man, whom apparently has been avoiding locking eyes with them. Both noticed the behavior, but they did not utter a single word; they basically waited for the man to lead them to the desired place.

While they were ascending, they realized that to each step they had been taking, the staircase echoed weakly – noticing then that the staircase was neither too old nor brand new.

When the three had reached the end of the staircase, the second floor, the man looked at them quickly and his back leaned against the wall. "We are here."

Kaoru looked at him, waiting for his next words.

He inspect her in misconceive.

Kaoru sighed strongly, irritation emphasizing again. "Here?" Kaoru asked in a scathing way, looking at her side.

"Yes..." The man answered, still completely confused.

Kaoru waited for some seconds to ease her. He had surely mocked them. Or he simply was a stupid man.

"Sir." Kaoru called. "Where is Takani-san?" She queried straightly.

The man glanced at her; by the way he looked he had finally understood. "Oh," He said happily, suddenly sounding atypical. "The third door to your left." The man communicated, leaning a little to his side.

Kaoru looked at her side, analyzing the place; after she identified, Kaoru turned her gaze at Manami. "Wait for me here." Kaoru solicited, taking one step towards the shoji door. "I do not intend to linger more than needed."

Manami simply agreed, swinging her head in understanding; her eyes instinctively turned to face the man who was watching Kaoru distance herself from them. "What is it that holds you attention Sir?" Manami inquired without any particular strain.

The man stared at her surprised by the unexpected question. "I beg your pardon?"

Manami sighed, her eyes locking instantly to the man's. "What held you attention concerning my lady? You were staring at her, I was aware."

The man swung his head, an absent look marking his face. "Nothing, I fear ... nothing at all." He murmured.

"Takani-san?" Kaoru called from the outside of the room, while softly knocked onto the shoji.

Light steps could be listened coming in her direction. "With whom should I speak to?" Inquired the voice, slightly smooth.

"Kamiya Kaoru." Kaoru answered directly. "Referenced byKomagata Yumi."

Quickly the shoji went open, disclosing in front of Kaoru a woman of young appearance. Long dark hair, it arranged on her shoulder; in her eyes evidenced intelligence and determination, even though it on its intimacy seemed to show a moderate lineament of derision.

"Kaoru-san, please, come in."

Kaoru followed the woman, which passed near her to close the shoji door thathad been left open. Kaoru cast a glance at her from the corner of one eye, while the female doctor walked to her side.

"Please, Kaoru-san," She started, already at Kaoru's side. "Before we start our conversation, I request you to call me by Megumi." The female informed, smiling weakly, however gently.

Kaoru confirmed with one swing of her head.

Megumi happily smiled, the formal air seemed inconvenient at the current time; she preferred to treat her patients without large formality.

"Kaoru-san," Megumi initiated, a hand pointing to some cushions that were placed in the floor, right around a table. "Shall we seat?"

Kaoru looked at place where the cushions rested, and briefly nodded; they walked until there. Together, they sat down.

When both already seemed comfortable in their respective places, Megumi left a sigh fly of her lips, which –afterward– twisted into a friendly smile. "Tell me… what brings you here?"

Kaoru looked at Megumi for some instants, deeply engrossed in thought.

It seemed easy in a particular way just to make suppositions and to talk to herself about her health –which obviously was damaged– in spite of not knowing for certain how much impaired.

But, while being in that room, while hearing that question, everything seemed awfully real, and reality is a troublesome item that people usually do not like to handle; mostly if there isn't –truly –someone trusty to get committed into taking care of you. Even if is only to share the grief and the burden, to divide the frustration. Then, when there is nobody else to spread a friendly hand, to who resort, if not to yourself? She also had the dilemma.

"Kaoru-san?"

"Yes," Kaoru answered, finally alert. "I have been noticing some changes, or better – signs – these signs are indicating that there is something wrong... with me. " Kaoru paused for instants, recapitulating her words; even being so poor, she saw her satisfied with the response; she leaned her eyes on the contemplative woman's face in front of her.

"Signs you said ... which? " Megumi cross-examined, unhurriedly.

Kaoru submerged in reflection, searching over her mind for events and signs that her body had sent recently. "Lost of weight ... that, however, went noticed by every one. " Kaoru paused. "Fatigue... I am visibly paler ... and during one night I had one hasty, however high, fever." She stopped, while mentally checking– again – all her uttered words.

Megumi remained motionless, her semblance visibly distant. Kaoru just kept on looking at her, clearly hoping for a quick reply.

After some time, Megumi's voice reverberated across the room. " I have a suspicion of what it might be."

Kaoru looked at her in a sudden jolt. "You do...? So suddenly…"

"Maybe you are just too week, you might have caught a virus." Megumi swung her head in affirmation. "I'm going to give you a medication, nothing greatly though, " She answered, while standing up and walking towards a furniture, apparently a cupboard. "But it will be adequate to weaken what is decaying your health. And also, having you taking this medicine, I will test your body, thus, if after all those days no positive affect is shown, then, I'm afraid that it will possibly be something more serious, if so, I will have to examine you a little further." She informed.

Megumi opened one of the cupboard's drawers, looking for herbs that were inside of small bags of paper. Her hand paused on a tiny one, and quickly captured it. She turned, closing with a hand the drawer behind her.

"Here it is." Megumi said while she crouched near her patient, her hand finding Kaoru's; she handed over a small package. "In this bundle has sufficient amount of herb to last for a week, which will be the time given for you body manifest improvement."

Kaoru looked at the package in her hand and squeezed it slightly; while she looked at those hidden herbs, she desired in her inmost thoughts that this medication would have effect on her body – and quickly – if inverse however, she couldn't be sure of how to handle something supposedly unknown.

"Thank you Megumi-san." Kaoru offered her appreciation to Megumi softly, preparing herself to rise.

Megumi just smiled. "Well, the only thing you must do is to boil three leaves of this herb in your tea by nightfall, do not forget."

Kaoru waved her head, understanding.

"Very well, after one week I would like you to come here, in case you have no opportunity to, you inform me, so I will be the one to visit you."

Kaoru smiled grateful, she turned half her body to the door's direction. "Thank you Megumi-san." She said, one of her hands upon the shoji. "When I visit you again, I shall bring your payment."

Megumi's head swung in disagreement. "Please, that is not necessary."

Kaoru observed her for a while. "Alright. I shall see you soon." It was the only reply, while Kaoru stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her; a sigh, which was imprisoned inside her throat during the conversation, had its release – finally after some time – her heart decreasing velocity at each second.

The first step had been taken. The second one, however, would depend only of her – of how her body would react to the medication.

Kaoru halted – noticeably surprised when an unexpected thought emerged in her mind.

'Suffering would be to depart this life? Or would be to linger in this world?'

Reponses:

Finding The Darkness: Let's say Yumi plays exclusively for her own benefit.misskittikarei: Yes, I believe that way I can see if I'll have a good acceptance. Yet, I guess I'd write it anyway. Sims are awsome: I´m glad. Here it is, I hope you liked it.Sagitarious Devil: Hope you liked!
Kenshin13: Full chapter! Female Hitokiri Battousai: I already talked to you in the MSN! Hehehe So, I guess I have answered everything, right? Just tell me! simplee sweet: well, you´re my beta-reader now! Thank you for editing Mags!

Note:

Boring chapter. But, sorry, it has to be that way. I'm just introducing our dear characters on my new plot, and I want to take it slowww. Not so slow because you'd probably kill me. Anyway, hope you liked it, because you waited two months to read that!

Well, have you noticed something? I tried hard not to give in much information, but I´m positive what I displayed here is enough for now.