Disclaimer: see previous chapters.

Warning: Shuichi says the "f" word. Gasp!

Broken Promise

Chapter 9

Shuichi lay there, eyes staring out the window. It offered a beautiful view of the crescent moon in the clear evening sky. There didn't appear to be any stars or clouds in the sky tonight. Just the sliver of moon was witness to his weakness.

He'd waited for Sai to fall asleep and a quick glance at the clock assured Shuichi the young man had been asleep for about half an hour. I've got to get out of here. He carefully supported the arm Sai had around his waist and slipped from the warm bed, gently laying his arm on the bed. As he slipped his pants on Sai shifted and mumbled, but remained asleep.

Quickly Shuichi made his way out to the living room and put on his shirt and shoes. Just as he reached for the doorknob a quiet voice sounded behind him.

"Was it something I said?"

Shuichi turned to see Sai walking towards him, a blanket wrapped around his waist. He rubbed his hair and offered a sleepy smile. "You don't have to leave, Shu. Stay. I'll make you breakfast."

"I can't. I…." Shuichi's stomach was in knots and he had to look away from Sai. "I should go."

Sai was now right in front of him and he reached out, lightly stroking Shuichi's hair. "It's not like we don't work at the same place." He closed in and let his cheek caress Shuichi's. "C'mon, Shu, stay with me."

Shuichi shivered at the seductive whisper and he gently pushed Sai back, keeping his head lowered.

"Sai….this is…..I'm sorry I let things get this far out of hand."

Sai suddenly felt the warmth leave his body. A coldness gripped his heart so tight he couldn't figure out how he was managing to breathe.

"What are you talking about?"

"I..I didn't mean to hurt you, Sai. I do care about you but…" Shuichi looked up, determined to look Sai in the eyes. He wasn't a child and he had to own up to his mistakes. "We never should have slept together."

"What? How can you say that? You came to me."

Shuichi could see the hurt written all over Sai's face, but the anger was coming through his voice. "I know. It was wrong of me to use you like this. I never---"

"Save the speech, Shu. Just tell me the god damned truth. What's his name?"

"I told you, there's no one else."

"You're a bad liar. What's his name?"

"There is nobody else, Sai, so drop it!"

"Bullshit! What's his name? You owe me at least the courtesy of telling me----"

"I owe you nothing!"

Before Shuichi knew what was happening, he was on his knees, facing the floor, holding his throbbing jaw. He worked his jaw back and forth a few times and took a deep breath, calming himself. Once he was certain that he wouldn't hit the younger man back, he stood up and turned towards the door, never looking at Sai.

"I'm sorry, Sai. I really am."

And with that, Shuichi walked out the door. He heard a succession of loud thuds as he made his way to the elevator and he assumed it was Sai taking his anger out on the door. I'm so sorry, Sai. I wish things could have been different. I wish I could give you what you want.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shuichi decided he would rather be miserable at work and doing something productive than sitting at home and being miserable and useless. So he sat at his desk and dreaded the moment he saw or heard Sai. Halfway through the day Hachiro stopped by his desk, having just returned from a photo shoot.

"Hey, Shuichi! Wow, you're looking a little rough man. You have a late and tiring night with Sai?"

Shuichi ignored Hachiro and just kept typing, mumbling his response.

"No. I'm just tired, ok? Got a lot of work to do."

Hachiro instantly heard alarms going off in his head. Something bad happened. Shuichi not only looked tired, his flat voice and half-lidded eyes screamed at how upset he was.

"Talk to me, Shuichi. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit." Hachiro placed his hand across the monitor and Shuichi fixed his dead eyes on him. "Since you can't type, you might as well talk."

"I said nothing is wrong." Shuichi smacked Hachiro's hand away and continued typing. "Now please just leave me alone, Hachiro. I'm sorry, but I'm really not in the mood."

Hachiro stepped up to Shuichi's chair, spun him around so he was forced to face him and trapped the stunned writer in his chair. Leaning forward, he glared into the lavender eyes.

"I'm not going to let you just sit here and pout like a little girl. I'm your friend and I care so I'm going to take you out and get you drunk like a good friend is supposed to do. Now move it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you finally going to tell me what the hell is going on with you?"

Shuichi took a sip of his beer and then shot his friend a withering glare, but Hachiro just scoffed and took a sip of his own drink. They had been at the bar for about an hour now and Hachiro was losing his patience.

"Your looks don't work on me, writer boy. The pretty ones or the ugly ones. So spill it before I beat it out of you."

"I slept with Sai."

"That's great! You needed to get laid, man. And you guys have been going out for awhile."

"No! No, not great. It was a huge mistake. Dating him was a huge mistake."

Hachiro decided to let the snide comment about Shuichi finally admitting he and Sai were dating go in favor of continuing their discussion. He's already upset, no sense in rubbing salt in the wound.

"Are you kidding me? I thought you guys hit it off? What the hell happened?"

"I…..like him. I really do, but…..I didn't sleep with him because I love him. I just wanted to feel desired again. I was selfish."

"Well, what does Sai think happened?" Shuichi just hung his head. "You didn't tell him you loved him, did you?"

"No, of course not. I told him it was a mistake."

"Ouch. What did he do?"

"He hit me."

Hachiro fought hard not to spit out the liquid in his mouth. He composed himself enough to swallow the drink in his mouth, but he still looked unbelieving at his despondent friend.

"Ok. Ok. Soooo….Sai learns a valuable life lesson and you learn Gameboy has a right hook. You've gotta stop being so hard on yourself."

Hachiro pat Shuichi on the back and the writer just groaned and took another drink as he stared off into space. They sat there in silence for a few minutes and Hachiro decided to see if he could get the truth from Shuichi about another matter that had been bothering him for quite some time now.

"So what really happened on your vacation with Ryuichi?"

Wide lavender eyes turned to him and he knew he hit the nail on the head. He knew Shuichi had been lying about his vacation. Or, if not lying, definitely leaving out major details. He hadn't been the same since returning, not even dating Sai had completely erased the air of melancholy around the young man.

Shuichi saw the knowing smile on Hachiro's face and knew he'd been found out. He sighed and went back to hanging his head over his drink.

"It's no big deal. I'm just the biggest idiot that ever lived, that's all."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"When I stayed with Ryu on my vacation…..we sorta…."

"Hooked up?"

"No!" Shuichi shot up and banged his hand on the bar, drawing attention. Once he saw the questioning stares he slumped back down on his stool and played with the beer bottle. "It wasn't anything crude like that. We're friends, we care about each other."

"Shuichi, you didn't. Tell me you didn't."

The writer could say nothing. He just put his head down on the bar and stared blankly into space.

"Oh shit, man. No wonder you've been crazy since you came back. So what happened?"

"It was my fault. Ryu tried to stop it, but I let myself believe that I wouldn't get attached. I was so stupid." Shuichi closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm in love with him, 'Ro, but I can't tell him because we promised no attachments. And besides, he seems fine. It's just one-sided. And…and…"

"Shuichi?"

Hachiro saw the man breaking down and he started to rub his back. Shuichi's eyes were clenched shut and tears began to seep out and down his face.

"It hurts, 'Ro. It hurts so fucking much."

"Come on, man, let's get you out of here."

Hachiro gestured to the bartender and the man nodded, understanding to put everything on his tab. Hachiro guided Shuichi out into the night where they hailed a cab and crashed at his place because it was closer. As Hachiro made sure Shuichi was comfortable in his bed, he heard the man whimpering again. He'd been completely silent since getting in the cab which had worried his friend, but now that he was whimpering again, he wasn't so sure he didn't prefer the silence.

"'Ro?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

Hachiro patted his shoulder and then turned off the light on the night stand before heading for the door. "You're welcome. Now get some sleep." As Hachiro lay on his sofa, he recalled his conversation with Ryuichi that night on the balcony. He'd sensed that the older man had feelings for Shuichi, so why did he agree to such a foolish idea? Why not just sleep with Shuichi and tell him the truth? There was no way anyone could convince Hachiro that Ryuichi wasn't as miserable and stupid as Shuichi was right now. Damn fools.

To be continued…..