Sarah felt the rope loop gently around her neck, light and ticklish like a cobweb. She knew in her mind that this was insane. She had a good life and people who loved her very much. It wasn't as if she ever went to bed wondering if there would be food on the table the next day. It wasn't like her parents yelled at her or hit her EVER. She had plenty of friends who truly enjoyed her company. But although she knew these things in her mind, her heart couldn't grasp the truth.
It was so cold. She lived her life in uncertainty, never able to believe in anything completely.
In the end the truth had jumped out at her like a jack in the box, and it had scared the hell out of her. She couldn't love. She knew others loved her but try as she might she could not feel love towards them, and it was killing her.
The doctors had tolled her that it was common depression, and had prescribed medication. For a while it had kept her dark thoughts away, but she still never felt whole. There was a huge piece of her that was missing and she couldn't live anymore with out it. It was far too painful. She wanted to love. To love in all it's beautiful ways. She wanted to love her parents; She wanted to love her friends. But in the end no amount of medication had helped her feel.
So she decided that some ware in the next few minutes, she would stop trying to. She wasn't going to leave a note. She was just going to do it before she got too scared. Her Heart was pounding loudly, her pulse sounding like thunder in her ears. Her parents were out grocery shopping; She was alone and scared to death at what she was about to do. Finally she decided it was time. Like a kid downing a spoonful of medicine as fast as possible to be over with it, Sarah took a deep breath and kicked the chare out from under her.
Her mind was screaming with terror as she swung violently in the noose. Her eyes were wide and she felt like her head was going to explode from the pressure. The rushing blood in her ears was all that she could hear now. A voice in her mind screamed "Breath Sarah! Please breath!" Then, a kind of calm settled over her body. She no longer felt pain. How long had she been hanging there? Seamed almost like hours had passed. Dieing wasn't so bad she thought. It actually felt kind of nice! She hadn't felt this peaceful in all her life. How strange that she suddenly felt so tired. "You'll never wake up again Sarah. Won't that be nice? Just like a nap"
She felt herself sinking. Falling ever so slowly. There was no more pressure from the rope. She felt the ends her long red hair slowly lift up and tickle her face. She was falling, and it felt nicer than anything she had ever experienced before.
When her parents arrived home with the groceries they called Sarah to help them carry them in. Her father had rented her favorite movie and bought her favorite dinner, planning to give her a nice surprise. But they heard no movement from her room. Finally they went up the stares. It was possible that she was napping. Sarah's door was slightly ajar and her father pushed on it lightly so as not to make it squeak. The pail evening light bathed everything in blue and added to the eeriness of the scene before him. A chare lay on its side, kicked to the far wall, and a noose was swaying from side to side, completely empty.
A/N
Sorry. I am feeling particularly morbid today. And rather than actually going and hanging myself I thought I would write about someone ells doing it.
I have never hung myself before (duh) But I did almost drown once. That was not attempted suicide but a swimming accident.
All the stuff about dying came from that. Also I find that not actually being able to feel emotions like love is the absolute hardest thing about having depression.
Now! As for why the noose was empty. No she wasn't ruptured! She simply time traveled is all. (lol) I'll just say it was the infinite improbability drives fault and leave it at that. The story is going to take on a much lighter tone now so you can all relax. everyone heaves a sigh of relief I was never meant to write seriousness. Flame me if you want. I'm just writing this for the heck of it.