TITLE: Losing Our Ring

AUTHOR: wyntersun a.k.a csimiamie126 a.k.a wynter126

RATING: FRT (for the T (for "I'm sorry Stella… But I still love her…" SMACked angst, character death involved!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own CSI: NY, its characters or its plot. If I did, I would be the richest person next to Oprah (Or not.)

SPOILERS: What You See is What You See (But I'm confident everyone has watched that… Have you?)

CONTENT WARNING: Character death. Angst. You have been warned.

A/N: Funny how inspiration can smack you hard. Oh, and these paragraphs come in no particular order. I'll leave it to you r imagination. evil laugh

"How could you lose it Mac?"

Her hazel brown eyes were already filled with tears. But she refused to let one single drop roll down her cheek. She was strong. She had to show him she was strong.

"I don't know how to explain it Stella…"

She cursed herself as her tears betrayed her.

Mac knew Stella would kill her.

He knocked for the eighth time on her door. And his premonition was true, for there stood a disgruntled Stella, her curly hair askew, eyes slightly dropping.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, half-angrily, half-sleepily.

"Can't sleep. Had a bad week." He answered, half-truthfully, half-praying that she wouldn't kick his ass out of the building.

"Sleep wrecker." She sighed and scratched her eyes. "Come in."

Mac breathed a sigh of relief. He needed someone to talk to, someone who can quickly cheer him up. And he knew that it was only Stella who could do the job.

Halfway to her kitchen, she asked him, "How did your date go?"

Mac made a mental note: Stella also knew how to piss him off easily.

He shrugged in reply. "Can't complain…" He could hear her mixing a yet unknown solution in a glass. "Yeah… Right!" she yelled back. Mac couldn't help but smile. Stella really knew how to brighten the day, or in this case, night.

Stella handed him the glass of orange juice, then sat down beside him. "How was your date?"

It was Stella's turn to shrug. "Boring. Made up some excuse about my boss calling me up for a case… Oh, and he will talk to you in the morning and lecture you about overworking your employees." Mac looked at him with an "Are-you-serious?" face. "Gee… Thanks."

"You are welcome…"

He almost died that morning. He was near gunpoint. He had also seen two possible sides of what could've happened.

He could have died. He could have taken the bullet that killed Amy. He could have felt a slow and painful death.

He could have been with Claire.

Or…

He could have lived. Solved the case.

Be with Stella.

Mac Taylor was simply torn in two.

Mac walked past Barnaby's. But a familiar figure made him walk in reverse and peep through the glass window again.

"I just realized. Life is too short. I have to make my move now."

He never knew that Danny would say those words. But his determination to change and to live life was certainly something Mac had never seen before.

He knew Aiden would be happy.

He also knew that he had to move on.

He removed his ring. Then bought a pair of silver rings. They weren't exactly wedding rings, but the rings were a symbol of bond and unity.

He knew Stella would love it very well.

Mac knew Stella would kill him.

But as he was standing on the waterfront, he couldn't bear it anymore.

Deep in his heart, he had been betraying both Clair and Stella all the time.

He knew what he had to do.

He removed the ring. And threw it to the icy cold river.

"I did what I had to do."

Stella was standing there, shell-shocked.

"Mac…" she started. But he silenced her, letting his finger touch her lips. He knew it was corny , yet romantic at the same time. But he was there doing it. He had rehearsed what he was going to say. He refused to sound stupid, he needed to sound sincere to convince her.

"There was only one person who kept me alive all the time Stella… And that was you…"

He slid the ring through her trembling finger.

"I love you Stella. Now and forever…"

"I still love her Stella. She's still in my heart."

She didn't know what to say. All she could do that time was throw at him the silver ring he had given her and run away.

All he could do was pick up the fallen ring, kiss it, and cry inside the locker room.

He had made many mistakes in his life. All of them were results of unclear thinking and deviant thoughts.

He had made the biggest mistake of his life by being so goddamn unclear. And he was determined to fix it.

"Danny… You and Aiden take the waterfront case. Stella and I will take the swimming pool."

The two young CSIs looked at each other, then at their supervisor. Mac and Stella's rift was no secret, and with this proud declaration, they couldn't help but smile.

When Danny and Aiden had left, he turned his attention to the distracted, coffee-making Stella.

"Let's go."

She was now lying in her own pool of blood.

Mac ran like crazy for the perpetrator. He urged his feet to move fast, his body to keep up the pace. He already spat his colorful vocabulary at dispatch, caring not if he was not authorized to do such a thing.

"Just do as I say, goddamn it!"

"Stella… Hang on…" Flack pleaded. "Come on… Paramedics are on their way.. Just hang on…"

"Mac…"

Flack was already panicking… "Come on… Don't give up on me!"

"I love you…"

Mac stared at Flack for a long time. "I… I knew she wasn't saying it at me… I knew it was for you…"

Stella's lifeless corpse was already inside the autopsy room. It took Danny, Flack and Hawkes to restrain the struggling Mac to refrain him to get inside. Danny knew he might be fired for doing so, but he gave Mac a good upper-cut.

Hawkes suddenly emerged from the door. Flack gripped on Mac's arm, but it wasn't needed. Mac stayed there.

"Let me see her… Please…"

Hawkes had hung his head. He summoned all his courage to look at Mac, and nod to allow.

Blood smeared her curly hair. Her eyes were forever closed. Her lips were a fine line.

He would never see her alive again.

But what hurt Mac most was what he saw on her neck.

Her ring had been a pendant on a silver chain necklace.

"She could've thrown it… But she chose to keep it. Hoping you'd come back someday." Hawkes said, snapping him out of his reverie.

Mac fell on his knees.

Bingo baby. He had made another mistake.

Fin

(One liner paragraphs. That doesn't make sense.)