A/N- Howdy Doody!
So Lost is a repeat again and since I finished my psychology outline, I decided to scan through my music files and find a muse.
And this one is KATE CENTRIC, shock I know.
Again, this is a song-fic that is in the same kinda stream as "Sex and Candy" and "Come As You Are" but you don't need to read them to understand it (though if you did read them…that'd be so nice, give an author something happy to look forward to, like reviews)
Lyrics by Savage Garden (of course, Sawyer gets the rock bands, Kate gets a Boy band…can't say I did it on purpose)
To The Moon And Back
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, that's where she was. Stuck between the boredom and tedium of life on the island and pure unadulterated panic at the thought of being caught when they were rescued. And she still thought it was when they'd be rescued, not if. Call her a dreamer, she'd been called worse things.
Of all the people on the island, of all the people in the little "band of adventurers" she was not the one you'd call anti-social. They all liked her, even after Sawyer sold her out as a criminal. Now, it wasn't that she didn't like people so much as…when you've been on the run half your life, you just lose that ability to connect with them. The island was like elementary school for her, just learning how to be part of a group again. How to be human.
On the run you get a different view of the world. It used to be that the world seemed so big, so full of possibilities. She used to dream of spending her life spanning the endlessness between the sea and the sky. But now…now the world was a small place with no more places to hide in except the little niche fondly known as CrapHole Island.
At night she thought that now that she'd outgrown this world, she'd have to find another one. How's the moon this time of year?
…she shies away from human affection
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for
The right kind of pilot to come…
There was only one other person who truly knew the kind of loneliness she knew on the run. There was only one other person who lived out of something smaller then a suitcase. Who realized that all the things people spent their lives acquiring, their houses, their fancy cars, their American Dream, it was all just smoke on the water. It was pretty, no doubt, but it was all an illusion.
Only one person looked at the same wide horizon she did and feel claustrophobic.
And he was such a pain in the ass.
I would fly you to the moon and back… Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So, would you be my baby?...
Criminal though she was, Kate was a good girl. She wasn't the slut or the druggie; she may not have been the straight A teacher's pet but she was a good girl. And she wanted a good boy. The bad boys always came and tried to tempt her but she never had a problem saying no, or taking what she wanted and leaving the out to dry, but it wasn't the same this time.
Jack was the good boy, the doctor, the hero. He was the one she should want. But she didn't.
God help her, she only wanted to explore the world with one of the men on this island, and the one she wanted didn't wear a stethoscope so much as a Stetson.
Sawyer.
The one she'd go to the moon with.
… She can't remember a time
When she felt needed
If love was red then she was color-blind…
There were times in life that you wish you could change. That if you only knew then what you knew now…and Kate's past was one of them. She thought she had everything down to a T, thought she knew life, thought she knew love. Hell, if she'd been honest you could barely fill a tea-cup with what she knew then. Look what thinking she knew it all bought her: a sense that the horizon was closing in on her.
… Love is like a barren place
And reaching out for human faith
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for…
When she had first set out all alone, she thought she knew where she was headed: away from the cops. Simple, right? Life wasn't something you could plan, nothing about it was a given and no matter how hard you tried to do something life could spoil everything you worked for.
Sawyer understood that. Just look at his letter and you'll see. All he wanted since he was eight years old was to find the man who'd ruined his family and kill him, but life had turned him into the monster he'd been hunting. What about Saint Jack? He'd dreamed of being a doctor and what did he become? A doctor. Not just any doctor, but a gifted one.
Jack hadn't tasted life's bitchier side, and that's the one feature that made her good boy unattractive. He was too…good. Too spoiled. Too…clean.
Sawyer had dirt under his fingernails and new that it was a dog eat dog world. He wasn't a bad man, but boy was he a naughty. Maybe he was spoiled too…but spoiled like meat left out of the freezer, not like a rich boy who's been handed a nice life.
Maybe that's why he was so damn attractive to her. Or maybe it was because she could easily see him running next to her, sleeping in pig pens and bumming rides just to get away.
... So baby gonna take a dive and
push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on
the stars…
The only reason she simply didn't turn herself in was because she was bent on finding that perfect place to start over. She hung everything on the old adage that everyone got a second chance. Maybe that hope was as far away as her new condo on the moon, but she didn't care.
When you had nothing to lose, the odds for the moon look pretty nice.
… somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot
To come…
She was sitting by the fire, feeling the burn of it sink deeper and deeper into her skin but not caring. Watching the moon made Kate oblivious to something so close to home, she would've have noticed the flames if she were sitting in them.
If she cocked her head ever so slightly, she could make out Sawyer propped up against a tree, pretending he was asleep. Maybe he fooled Jack but Kate knew better, she knew that look on his face.
Sawyer was dreaming of the moon.
Closing her eyes, she started dreaming too.
A/N- I don't know what it is…I butcher Sex and Candy which was the catalyst for the series…and I write a crap English paper (my BEST subject) and now… I dunno. It doesn't feel strong, but I'm tired and when I'm tired steel doesn't feel strong.
Honestly, what'd you think?
I'd like to take this opportunity to say I am now on AND Lost-Forum, so happy trails to everyone on both sites!
PLEASE REVIEW! You can tell me it sucks, I won't be hurt.