A/N: I want you all to know that for some reason I felt so disappointed for what I wrote on the last chapter, that instead of fixing it. I decided to add the epilogue anyways. Thanks Mel for all your help. Any mistakes and insanity are all mine as I did this with a fever and the cold from hell.

Enjoy!

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Epilogue

It took him longer than usual to get to the debriefing. He had to take a bath after discovering first hand that the toilet bowl had saran wrap on top of it, when he tried to pee. John knew that retaliation was in order, but that in some way he might have deserved it. But, as he arrived at the debriefing 15 minutes late, seeing the smug faces of Rodney and Ford, he knew something had to be done.

Elizabeth stared at him in disbelief as he excused himself for being late. He didn't say what the exact reason for him being late was and fortunately, Elizabeth didn't push the point. The debriefing passed without incident, but with John still wondering what he was going to do next. Whatever it was going to be, it would have to be different, because if Elizabeth found out about this, he'd be royally screwed. Actually, she had said she wouldn't have minded a change of hair color. That could give him an idea… maybe a couple.

Once the briefing was done, he left and started doing his morning round. On his way, he passed by Stella's work place, and walked in. Stella was buried behind a computer, doing God knows what. John couldn't identify what the hell she was doing, as she was also taking notes on a notepad.

When he walked in, she looked up and glared at him. "The answer is no, Colonel."

John froze on the spot, "What? What makes you think I came to ask you for something?"

Stella gave him a fake smile, "The fact that you're here is a good indication!"

"You don't know what they did!"

"And I don't want to know, I have enough to do as it is. The answer is still no, Colonel. I don't want anymore problems with Dr. Weir."

John knew that there was no point in arguing anymore. He turned around and left, but he wasn't giving up. He just needed to change tactics. John was now fully healed, so he would be able to get a thing or two done by himself.

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With a life signs detector in one hand and a dark bag in the other, John made his way towards Ford's room. There were a few people around, but he wanted to be as stealthy as humanly possible. Once or twice he had to stop and pretend he was doing something, while a scientist passed by or a soldier was doing his round.

He arrived at the room and quickly checked for life signs. No one, good. John opened the door and walked in, heading straight into the bathroom. He looked through the simple bottles of products. He picked the hair conditioner, and then he proceeded to empty it into the toilet. Once that was done, John took a quick glace at the life signs detector, Good, the coast was still clear.

John got the black bag and took a bottle out of it. He knew that the owner of this bottle was going to explode when she found out, but it was all for a good cause…. Getting even. John poured the contents of the bottle into the conditioner bottle. If this worked out, not only was it going to be funny, but it would teach them not to mess with him.

Once finished, John put the bottle back in the bag and the hair conditioner back where it was. Satisfied, he smiled, took another look at the life signs detector and walked out. This part was done.

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But what John didn't know was that Rodney and Ford had more plans for him. Once he was asleep, Rodney and Ford snuck into John's room and as quietly as possible they started painting the Colonel's face with a magic marker, writing obscene words on his forehead and putting weird drawings on the rest of his face. John was a deep sleeper that night, so he only moved once or twice. Ford proceeded to put shaving cream on the palms of both of John's hands, then moved into the bathroom and filled the tip of the toothpaste tub with Orajel.

Once that was done, Ford climbed onto the bed and stood there with a small radio, which Rodney handed him. Then Rodney headed for the light controls, and he signaled Ford to start at the count of three. Rodney signaled with his hand, one, two…three.

The lights were turned on; Ford turned the radio on as loud as it would go and started jumping up and down on the bed at the same time.

Rodney regretted then, not bringing his camera with him. John's reaction was way too funny; he sat bolt upright in bed and shouted. He brought his hands to his face and splattered the shaving cream all over. Disorientated, he tried to get out of the bed and fell to the floor, while Ford stepped down from the bed and joined Rodney by the door. They were howling with laughter, seeing John's face suddenly realizing what was going on, they turned around and ran out of the room.

John was left in his room, with shaving cream all over his face. He was already fuming and then, even more so, when he saw himself after he'd washed off the shaving cream. He swore that they were going to die; he had a moustache and a goatee. Then he stared at the word on his forehead; how the hell was he going to explain that the next day?

He scrubbed his face a couple more times and then gave up, and returned to sleep. Ford already had his comeuppance on the way, but next it was Rodney's turn, and with that thought, he went to sleep.

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After having to wait 15 angry minutes until his mouth de-numbed, John started thinking of what he was going to do. Having finally got the sensation back in his mouth, he walked out. John had to avoid the amused glances headed his way once he stepped out of his room.

It took a lot of convincing, but he managed to get Zelenka to help him, even if it was only letting him hide in Rodney's lab, and not saying anything. John knew the only reason Zelenka was helping him, was because he wanted front row viewing of the event that was going to unfold.

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Rodney arrived with his coffee mug, shouting orders and instructions. Zelenka was by his side organizing the day's work.

When suddenly John came out of his hiding place, with a fire extinguisher in hand. As quietly as he could, he approached Rodney and in one swift movement he shoved the hose inside Rodney's pants. Then he sprayed the foamy, ice cold substance as long as he could.

Rodney's first reaction was to yelp at the intrusion, but then he screamed at the cold inside his pants. Trying to make it stop, Rodney turned around and saw John sprinting out of the lab. There was a smirk on his marker-painted face, as he said, "Have a nice day Rodney!"

Rodney was very glad that there was a bathroom in the lab; at least he could take all the foam out, but still the top part of his pants was all wet, looking as if he had wet himself. Once he rid himself of the foam, he walked towards the exit to change his pants. When he opened the door Lt. Ford was coming the other way. Except that Lt. Ford looked different this morning, Rodney noticed that there were small bald patches all over his head.

Ford was almost on the verge of panic, he was speechless, but pointing at his head. Rodney had to laugh, this was getting ridiculous. Suddenly he had an idea. "Lt. Ford, follow me please."

Ford patted his almost bald head. "What do you have in mind?"

Rodney was doing some quick thinking, and then he stared at his wrist. He had a rubber band and took it off. Then he glanced at Ford, "Where do you think Colonel Sheppard is right now?"

Ford answered quickly, "The mess hall."

Rodney smiled and started walking towards the mess hall. When they entered, Rodney quickly spotted John. They ignored the stares from the people around them, as Rodney started to turn the rubber band until it was all in a tight coil. He was going to take advantage of John having his back towards them. But Rodney was so concentrating so hard on keeping the rubber band coiled up. As he pulled it tight, and took another glance at the back of John's head, Elizabeth appeared at his side.

Rodney's hand jumped as he was startled, and the rubber band ended up pinging into Elizabeth's hair.

She froze for a moment, throwing a questioning look at Rodney, "What was that?"

Rodney's eyes opened wide, as Elizabeth reached out to touch her hair. The rubber band was heavily tangled in there. For a moment, she tried to pull it out, but it was difficult and it hurt.

Being the diplomat that she is, she left the rubber band alone. "Follow me gentleman." Then she turned towards John and called him. "Colonel Sheppard, in my office. NOW!"

John had no idea what was going on, but seeing Rodney and Ford there, he got a pretty good idea. He stood up and followed the odd group. The leader with something in her hair, the scientist with wet pants, the soldier with bald patches in his head and the ranking military officer with a face full of black ink.

Once they arrived at her office, all three men sat down and watched in silence as Elizabeth took the rubber band out of her hair. In the end, she had no choice but to cut her hair. Thankfully there were only a few strands, so it was easy to conceal. When she was done, she stared at them, like a principal looking at naughty students.

John frowned, "What? Don't look at me, I didn't start this."

Elizabeth didn't say anything, as Ford turned around, "With all due respect, sir, what the hell did you do to my hair?"

John shifted in his chair and replied very quickly, "Hair removal cream."

Rodney made a face, "Oh, that's just low."

John glared at Rodney, "Yeah, I was feeling pretty bad for him this morning while I drooled for 15 minutes. Besides, what you did last night was just as low."

"Wake up, Colonel. Last night was nothing…"

Elizabeth stood up and cut him off. "Gentlemen. This will be the last time a thing like this gets so out of hand. For the next three months you three will share the duties of cleaning the bathrooms and shower areas. I understand that being here is a 24 hour job, and we all need to relax. But you're here to do a job, not to tear each other apart. Is that understood?"

They looked like they wanted to argue, but nothing they managed to remain silent. Ford nodded, Rodney grumbled and John simply shrugged.

Elizabeth wasn't convinced by their acceptance. "I mean it! I don't want to include this on a report, but I will." Seeing that the message had gotten through, Elizabeth continued, "Now, John, could you please rub some alcohol on your face. Rodney, please change your pants and Lt. Ford see if you can find someone with a shaver for your head. And please, all of you go back to work."

Elizabeth tried to fix her hair once more, checking if there was much damage. As she watched the trio walk out of the control room, she knew that they wouldn't stop. But today's incident, would make them back off for a couple of months at least and she could live with that for now.

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Three days after being caught by Elizabeth, Rodney was still looking over his shoulder. He was careful with what he ate and what took from others. But somehow Rodney knew that there would be no end until somehow John Sheppard got the last laugh. And he was going to prevent it at all costs. Except, the next morning, he had a reality check. It had all started with a pink cast, and somehow Rodney knew that the end was near, when he looked in the mirror and stared at his pink hair.

FIN… really!