Chapter two

A loud pounding woke me from where I had fallen asleep on the couch. Frightened by the noise I decided to peek out the front window before I unlocked the door. I pulled the blinds away from the window glass. My eyes met with Darry's eyes that were peering in. I exhaled in relief, clambered off the couch and turned the lock.

Darry came through the door, faster than I could open it, with a look of panic in his eyes. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah … why?" I answered back, temporarily dumbfounded by his concern.

"Sissy! You got every light in the house on and the front door is locked… I thought something happened."

"It's just that I don't like the dark anymore when I'm alone." I picked at my fingernails and wished I hadn't said that to Darry. I wasn't sure he'd understand.

My brother shook his head with frustration. "I'm home now so go turn off all those lights. It's costing us money we don't have."

I sucked in my lips and frowned like Ponyboy always does. Then I walked to the back of the house to turn off all the unnecessary lights. I met Darry back in the dining room where he was eating a plate of cold leftovers from dinner. "Where are Ponyboy and Soda?"

"I don't know. Pony said he was going to the movies and Sodapop is out with Sandy."

"Well they've got ten minutes to be in by curfew."

I looked back at my brother wondering if he actually thought I controlled when the two of them would be home. Deciding Darry must have had a bad night at work I chose to leave him alone. I walked back into the living room just as the front door opened.

"Hi Scout." Sodapop said quietly as he shut the door and kicked off his shoes.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing." Soda sat down in mom's chair with a scowl on his face. "Something is the matter with Sandy though." I sat on the edge of the couch letting him know I was ready to listen. "She was grumpy all night and she wouldn't even let me touch her. I couldn't even hold her hand!"

"Maybe she just didn't feel good." I added hoping to help.

"Sure… whatever." Soda shook his head in dismay then wandered into the kitchen for a late night snack. Darry had heard our conversation and he followed his little buddy.

I grabbed the pillow and blanket we kept in the living room and curled up on the couch. Darry and Soda talked for a long time about Sandy. I couldn't hear what Darry was saying but I doubted he was giving any useful relationship advice.

I had just gotten interested in a late night movie when Darry came storming through the living room. "Where in the hell is Ponyboy?" He yelled to no one particular and stepped out onto the front porch. I looked at the clock, twelve twenty. My brother stormed back through the front door. "Where is that kid at?"

Sodapop came back from the kitchen. "Don't sweat it Darry he'll be home soon."

Soda was wrong. The minutes built up. An hour later my eye lids grew heavy as I watched Darry finish pacing. He grabbed the newspaper off the coffee table and sat down to make another call in an effort to find out missing brother.

"Are you going to call the cops?" Soda asked from the end of the couch where he was getting sleepy.

Darry rubbed his brow trying to free his mind of frustration. "What do you think would happen to you three if I called the cops?" Soda just looked clueless at Darry as he continued to vent. "They'd call the State and you'd all be out of here for sure!"

Soda didn't argue with Darry's reasoning. Instead he laid his head back onto the couch and closed his eyes. I kicked my feet up onto Sodapop's lap and drifted off to sleep.

"….that's all I ever hear from you!" Darry's yelling woke me from my slumber. I looked toward the voice to see my brothers standing together. Soda pleaded to try to calm the impending storm of emotions. Darry snapped back. "I'm sick and tired of you sticking up for him!"

Shocked by the words I sat up on the couch and heard Ponyboy make a demand of his own. "Don't you yell at him!"

My heart jumped as Darry struck Ponyboy out of anger. My twin's body was propelled to the floor by the impact. For a second no one in the room drew a breath. As my brain tried to comprehend what had taken place Ponyboy leapt up from the floor and bolted out the front door.

I wanted to yell to my brother as he ran past, his eyes welling with tears, but all I could muster was a soft spoken call, "Pony?" Before I could speak again Darry and Sodapop ran to the door. I spun around on the couch, propped up on my knees and peeked through the blinds just in time to see my brother disappear into the darkness. My stomach felt sick and Ponyboy's past angry words about Darry began to echo through my head.

"Sodapop, you know I didn't mean too?" Darry began to plead for forgiveness. "I would never mean to hit Ponyboy or any of you. I just reacted."

Soda said what any reasonable person would say after witnessing a family altercation of that magnitude. "Sure Darry, I know you didn't." Sodapop pushed his brother back into the living room and shut the front door. "Let's just give Ponyboy some time to cool off and come home."

Darry looked at Soda with his ice-cold blue green eyes. "You think that's best?"

Before Soda could repeat himself I stood before Darry with angry tears flooding my eyes. "You did mean too!" My shouted accusation stunned my brothers as they looked my way. "I can't believe I ever stuck up for you! All those nights of telling Pon how much you cared for him were a waste! Ponyboy was right all along, you only kept us two around because Soda wouldn't forgive you if you didn't. You don't really want us here. You never did!" I hurriedly wiped the tears from my eyes wishing I hadn't given Darry the satisfaction of making me cry.

Sodapop blinked the shock from his eyes and demanded an answer. "Scout what are you talking about?"

"You're the only reason Darry ever agreed to let us stay." I pointed toward our older brother. "I bet you're happy now that Pony's gone!" For the first time in a long time Darry was speechless. He stood there and his mouth moved slightly but no words could come out. I watched him carefully as he suffocated from my words. I gave him no forgiveness as I sassed back. "Don't worry Darrell Junior I'll make things real easy on you. Monday morning I'll call the social worker and help her find good lives for Pony and I," then I stared coldly at him, "so you can get on with yours!"

It wasn't until that moment I noticed Darry's lip quiver. I looked into his icy cold eyes and saw the whites begin to flood with red. I froze in place and became aware of the unstoppable stream of tears on Darry's face. He was crying. Not just a little, he was ready to break down and cry out loud, but his pride wouldn't seem to let him.

Sodapop was appalled by what I had said and he offered comfort to my victim. "It'll be ok Darry…I know none of that is true." When Soda threw his caring hand onto Darry's shoulder it was as if Darry couldn't carry one more ounce of burden. He fell back into the chair, buried his head in his hands and sobbed out loud.

I stood dumbfounded. For days and nights I listened to Ponyboy complain that Darry didn't care for him. Pony had proof of how Soda was Darry's little buddy and if I needed Darry he would be at my side in a heartbeat, but not Ponyboy. Together we could hardly find a time when Darry wasn't on his case. I had joined Ponyboy in thinking Darry couldn't stand him, but now I knew Pony and I were wrong. In guilty silence I watched Soda who was kneeling beside our sobbing brother, whispering words of comfort in his ear and gently stroking his hair.

Hesitantly I drew an unsteady breath and stepped toward the two. "Dar…" I cleared my raspy throat, "Darry I am sorry." I spoke hoping for forgiveness. "I shouldn't have said those things. I know how much you have given up for us." I took a chance and stepped close enough to put my hand on his shoulder.

Darry didn't react the angry way I assumed he would. In fact he didn't react at all. He sat there and cried not caring who saw or heard him. His uncontrollable emotion forced Sodapop and I to do the same. Hearing us weep Darry grabbed us with his strong arms and pulled us close in two headlock hugs.

It took a long time for Darry to calm down. When he did I apologized again for my behavior. Darry looked at me with his red and blue eyes. "I know … I know all of this has got to be so much harder on you and Pony then I could imagine. It's just not fair that you two didn't have as much time with mom and dad as Soda and I did." Darry sat back and drew in a shaky breath. "If mom and dad had died when I was thirteen I don't think I would have ever been in football, or motivated to do as well in school as I did." Darry wiped his eyes with the handkerchief Sodapop had handed him. "So sometimes I just push to hard. I just worry too much."

I sat back on my heels and knew that in our neighborhood there was no way my brother could worry too much. Things just weren't that safe lately. I dried my eyes and glanced at the time. It was nearing three in the morning. "So what are we going to do about Ponyboy?"

Darry stood up. "Let's go to the lot and get him."

Soda and I put on our shoes and I grabbed a sweatshirt before following my brothers out the front door. Once we got to the street I grabbed onto Soda and Darry's hands. The wind was cold as it blew across the neighborhood and we entered the vacant lot. "Pony?" Soda asked in a low calling voice. The three of us looked around in the dark but couldn't see a trace of Ponyboy or Johnnycakes. I knew all three of us figured this was where they would be. We walked along the tree and fence lines, hoping they weren't there in the dark the way Johnny had been when he was jumped. When every inch of the barren lot had been checked we gathered together near the tire swing and looked into the silent darkness.

"You don't suppose he'd be at Johnny's house." Darry asked knowing that was highly unlikely.

"No way." I said. "I don't think Johnny's parents would even let those two in. Maybe he went to Two-Bit's?"

Darry shook his head. "Nah, I talked to Two-Bit's mom on the phone and she said Two-Bit was still out for the night. He wouldn't go there if Two-Bit wasn't home."

"Well Johnny aint around either and Pony said he was here in the lot, so they gotta be together somewhere." Soda turned and started to walk away. "Let's go check out the park."

Together the three of us walked quietly through the shadowy night. At every intersection we strained to see if Pony was in the darkness crossing a street or walking along a sidewalk. The early morning temperature was so cold I could see my breath in the lighting from the park as we climbed the hill to the play equipment. Again Soda softly called for Ponyboy, but there was no answer.

"Oh no?" Darry mumbled as his eye caught something laying in the streetlight by the fountain. Soda and I jogged along with Darry to the figure. As we neared the body Darry through his strong arms out to hold us back. Quickly we knew by the tan slacks and expensive madras jacket that the boy wasn't Pony. We also could tell by the pool of blood and glassy stare that the boy was dead. Panic filled all three of us as Darry told us not to get to close or touch anything.

"I know this boy… he goes to our school." Soda nervously rubbed the side of his arms. "Darry you don't think Pony…." Darry looked over at Sodapop not knowing how to answer.

"No way!" I almost screamed. "Pony and Johnny could never kill anyone. Besides how could they? Pony never remembers to carry a blade and Johnny…." My brother's looked at me and we all remembered Johnny's words. 'I will never get jumped like that again, not over my dead body'.

"Oh Lordy!" Soda gasped and his voice cracked, "you don't suppose?"

Darry nervously looked at the wet dead body then around the park. "I don't know, but we better skin outta of here."

The stench from the fresh puddle of blood reminded me of when I held Casey's limp body in my arms. I cried out. "We can't just let this boy lie here!"

"I know that." Darry said and put his hand on my shoulder hoping to calm me, "we better get home and call the cops."

"The DX station is closer we should use the pay phone over there." Soda suggested. "Besides maybe that's where Pony and Johnny went."

Soda, Darry and I sort of jogged the next two blocks to the DX station. Alone in my thoughts I was trying to put together the pieces of the story. Pony missing, the dead soc and Johnny swearing he would never be beaten again. I began to realize Johnny and Ponyboy may have been responsible for the soc's death, but I couldn't convince my heart to accept it.

My brothers circled the station and found no sign of the missing boys. Darry pulled open the glass door to the telephone booth and dialed the operator. "Yes I am calling to report a dead body at the park at …"

Soda felt my cold cheek with his hand. "Let's go inside." He reached into his pant's pocket and pulled out a key to the door of the station. We stepped in while Darry finished speaking to the operator. It felt good to be out of the wind. Sodapop pulled a few dimes out of his pocket and tossed them up on the counter then grabbed three bottles of Coca Cola out of the cooler. Darry walked in just as Soda pulled the metal tops off the bottles. "What did the operator say?"

"She just asked a lot of questions," Darry was nervous and thirsty so he took a drink, "I didn't tell her anything. I kept the call anonymous."

Soda shook his head in agreement and paced the floor. "Good idea."

The intensity of the situation began to upset me. As I rubbed the cool side of the bottle with my finger I asked a question of my brothers with out making eye contact. "You guys don't suppose Ponyboy had anything to do with that boy. Do you?"

"Sissy, I sure hope not." Darry said.

I tried to hold back my tears and slightly choked on my words. "Somehow I know he did…" I sniffled and my eyes met with my brother's worried eyes. "… I just have a real bad feeling about all of this."

Darry pressed his hands against the counter and looked down at his boots. He remembered Pony and I had a special connection. One many occasions we just knew where the other was or how that person was feeling. No one understood how or why, but everyone in my family believed. Darry picked his half empty bottle of pop off the counter. He feared I was right. "We better get home. When Pony shows up he's gonna need us." Agreeing, the three of us stepped outside the station and began our walk home. We took a different route than normal so we could stay clear of the park.

"Hey!" A jubilant voice yelled from an alleyway a few blocks from our street. "Darry is that you?"

We stopped and turned toward the voice. No one recognized the man at first as he jogged towards us wearing his leather jacket and a black cowboy hat. Then he laughed and there was no mistaking the man for Two-Bit. As he came closer and recognized that Darry was with Soda and I our friend sensed something was amiss. "What's going on?"

"Have you seen Ponyboy recently?" Darry asked without responding to Two-Bit's question.

"No, not since I met up with him and Johnny at the Nightly Double, why?"

"Well … we had a fight at home and he ran out." Darry sugar coated the altercation for his own sake.

"Oh yeah? What time was that?" Two-Bit questioned and removed the cowboy hat from his head.

"Two." Darry replied.

"Two? I walked him and Johnny home well before midnight. That's the last I seen'um?" The sound of approaching sirens began to scream through the air growing closer and closer. Two-Bit looked in the direction of the noise. "Maybe them boys have found him for ya?"

"No," Sodapop said and hesitated to say more until Two-Bit questioned how he could be so sure. "While we were looking for Ponyboy and Johnny at the park we found a soc…dead."

Our friend's mouth dropped open. "A dead soc? You don't think?"

"We don't know nothing!" Darry reminded everyone. "Come on now, let's get out of here before someone gets suspicious."

"Hold up Darry." Two-Bit's face and voice turned serious. "After the movie Ponyboy, Johnny and I were walking these two girls home…soc girls. And out of the drive-in pulls this tuff mustang loaded with socs just looking for a fight. We bout took'em but one of the girls wouldn't have it." Two-Bit thought to himself. "Cherry was her name. She said she hated fights so they girls went back with the socs and we walked home. Those socs were drunk as skunks Darry. No telling what they would have done to Johnny or Ponyboy if they had found them lingering in the park or something."

Soda's eyes began to well with tears that reflected in the street light. "Ya'll lets get on home. Maybe Pony's back by now." We all agreed and headed on home before anyone else saw us out there.