This may be one of the longest chapters. And one of the funniest. And the confusing. And...yeah.

Curtis paced back and forth on the red carpet, growling to himself. He was still trying to figure out exactly why he was so angry; it wasn't unapparent, given the fact that his short red hair was fussed up, and his shirt wasn't tucked in. The tie he had been wearing was also undone…he looked as if he was either back from a fight or just plain batty.

When he heard a voice echoing down the long hall, he turned around.

"State your name, please."

Curtis crossed his arms furiously. "What does it matter to you, Disembodied Voice!"

There was a silence. "I would like it if you didn't yell…someone is attempting to sleep. Although…this is the complete opposite side of the factory. Still, shut up."

Curtis took a step towards the darker end of the hallway—the voice was coming from there—and said angrily, "Who are you to tell me to shut up?"

To Curtis's shock, someone actually came out of the darkness, wielding a cane and wearing a top hat. The man looked amused. "Your worst nightmare," he said mockingly, for he had flashed a huge, perfect smile. He stopped in front of Curtis and frowned. "Why do you look familiar?"

"Well, if I look anything like her," Curtis snapped, "then I gosh darn well should."

Willy was silent for so long Curtis thought he fell asleep standing up. Then, he spoke. "Look like whom?"

Curtis was about to kick him, but turned around at the last minute and kicked a by-standing Oompa-Loompa. Willy raised an eyebrow as Curtis turned back around and the victimized Oompa-Loompa flew across the room. "My name is Curtis Redwood," Curtis said.

Willy jolted at the sound of the last name, and he stared at Curtis with wide eyes. "Redwood?"

"That's right."

"So…."

"What is your name, first?"

Willy opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again. He put his hand over his own face. "Willy Wonka."

"Okay, so you're the one my sister is with."

"I was afraid that was going to be your next sentence," Willy murmured through his fingers, leaning on the walking staff for support. "Oh god…."

"Willy?"

Curtis looked over Willy's shoulder as Willy turned around. Lilly was standing just inside the shadows, but her outline could be seen. Her hair was down, and Willy realized that he never knew how long her hair was, exactly. Nor was it relevant to anything at all.

"Lilly…" Willy said nervously, "why aren't you sleeping?"

Lilly leaned against the wall and frowned. "Who's that?"

Curtis made to shove Willy out of the way and go towards his sister, but Willy was quicker than him. He stuck his walking staff out in front of Curtis's feet and sent him flying. Curtis, however, grabbed the sleeve of Willy's coat and yanked it off him in a double attempt to pull him down, too, and keep himself up. Neither succeeded; although the coat did slip off of Willy, and it landed over Curtis, blanketing him.

Willy looked as if he had just been raided of all clothing, although it was just his coat. He stared at the covered form of Curtis with wide eyes.

Lilly's eyebrows flew upwards as she gawked at Willy.

Willy made an unintelligible noise, standing there in a patterned dress shirt and black vest over that. The sleeves of the patterned shirt were rolled up to the elbows.

"Interesting," Lilly murmured, catching sight of a small tattoo on Willy's right arm. "When did you get that?"

Willy moved his arm so the tattoo could no longer be seen. "What are you talking about?"

"The tattoo. I saw it."

"I don't have a tattoo."

"Willy…."

"I don't."

"Don't lie to me, Willy…."

"I don't want to talk about it."

This silenced Lilly.

Curtis, however, finally moved. He lifted his head, and his face could be seen underneath Willy's coat. "Lilly," he cried, standing up with the speed of one about to run for their life. "Lilly, it's me! It's your brother!"

There was a very uncomfortable silence…then Lilly screamed at the top of her lungs.

Willy merely closed his eyes.

Curtis looked confused. "What's the matter?"

"You can't be here!"

Willy opened one eye and looked at Curtis.

Curtis still looked confused. "What are you talking about, aren't you happy to see me?"

"NO!"

Without knowing it, Willy and Curtis both gained identical looks of bewilderment. Curtis took a step towards Lilly. "Come on…you don't miss me?"

"Oh yeah," Lilly bellowed, stepping out of the darkness, "I sure missed a betraying psychopath!"

"What are you talking about?"

Lilly shook her head, causing her long auburn hair to fall into her eyes. "I know what you're doing, Curtis. You really have no clue, do you?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you," Lilly said, taking a few threatening steps towards the taller man, "is that you should have stayed in that institution where you belonged. You're not ready to be released. I can see that by the fact that you have a FLOWERED GUN holstered in your pocket!"

"It's…not real…."

"What were you planning on doing with it?" Suddenly, Lilly turned ghostly pale. "You were going to shoot someone, weren't you?"

"No!" Curtis shook his head as if he was being wrongly accused of something. "I would never…!"

"Who was it, Curtis?"

Willy looked from Lilly to Curtis and back again, feeling as if he was watching a tennis match that he just walked into. He had no flying idea of what was going on.

"You can't marry him, Lilly."

This brought Willy back to earth. "Um, excuse me!" he called, raising his hand. "I beg to differ, sir!"

Curtis whirled around, suddenly looking quite manic. "Shut up, you!"

Lilly suddenly struck Curtis with unbelievable strength on the back of the head. Her brother was sent to the floor, and he landed right at Willy's feet.

"Do me a favor," Lilly said to Willy breathlessly. "Keep him down, but don't hurt him."

Willy raised his walking staff and put it on the middle of Curtis's back, still looking rather confused. He didn't apply pressure, yet he kept him pinned down.

"I need to call my father."

When Lilly left, Willy noticed her posture; it seemed as if she was in some physical pain.

"Wonka," Curtis spat, looking up at his captor. "I'll get you, you know that."

Willy raised an eyebrow. "No, I don't think I know that."

"You should."

"But I don't."

"I just told you."

"Did you?"

Curtis made a face. "Let me go."

Willy grinned wickedly. "I was told to keep you down, you weird little monster," he said brightly. "And I'm going to keep you down. I'm not letting you go."

Lilly came back a few minutes later. "I sent an Oompa-Loompa out to call my dad…." She stopped walking for a minute and sort of crouched down, holding the sides of her face in her hands. She groaned a little.

Willy blinked. "Are you alright?"

Lilly waved a hand dismissively and nodded. "I'm just…yeah, I'm alright. I guess I should've stayed in bed."

Curtis tried to turn his head to look at his sister. "I'm telling you, Lillian, you can't marry him! He's CRAZY!"

Lilly stood up slowly. "I can't wait to hear this. How is he crazy, dear Irony?"

"Didn't you hear? Those kids! He destroyed them all!"

A new fire burned in Willy's eyes as Curtis shouted those words. "How dare you say such a thing," he whispered darkly.

Lilly gasped. "Curtis…you can't possibly believe that…."

Willy applied a tiny bit of pressure into the walking staff. "What did you say I did, Redwood?"

Lilly knew he was talking to Curtis, but the way Willy said her last name stung, only a little.

"You destroyed them! You loathed them, everyone knew that!"

"I loathed them, yes, but I would never destroy them! If you hadn't noticed, I made sure every one of those little brutes made it out of the factory in one piece."

This gained an odd look from Lilly.

"And also, in case you haven't noticed," Willy said, "I have a child of my own. So that statement is pure—"

"Lilly!"

Everybody looked behind Willy, and Lilly's father was standing in the doorway to the factory, looking around at the scene.

"Oh god," Willy muttered under his breath.

But suddenly, and magnified about a hundred times, a loud scream was heard from somewhere up in the ceiling.

Willy and Lilly gave each other frantic looks.

"Who's going to go get her?" Lilly asked, turning white again.

"I'll do it," Willy said, letting Curtis go and running as fast as he can out of the hallway. Curtis tried to trip him, but again, this didn't work, and Willy slapped his hand with the staff.

Wondering exactly how fast it took for the Oompa-Loompas to install the baby monitors in every single room of the factory, Willy took a sharp turn at the Chocolate River and took a flying leap into the glass elevator. He hit the wall with his head.

"Ow," he groaned, reaching up and pressing a newly installed button that saidLIBBY in big letters. The elevator took off to where Libby was.

Then, Willy realized in horror that if Libby was hungry…there wasn't exactly much he could do about that….

Contemplating why he was the one to volunteer to 'rescue' his daughter, Willy sat there, hugging his knees and repeatedly hitting his head on them.