Friends: The complete Eleventh Season
The One with the Twins
Disclaimer: See Chap. 1
Author's Note: I know you're all saying, What Happened to the Friday thing? The answer is… I have so many good reviews I just can't keep you all waiting! There will now be a summary in the beginning to tell people what will happen in the episode. (This chapter will be twice as long as the last one.
Summary: Monica and Chandler realize the challenge of raising Erica and Jack. Chick Junior and Duck Junior start to grow up and get to the playful stage. Joey falls for the sexy French lady across the hall.
(Scene takes place at Monica and Chandler's new house. Monica is upstairs feeding one of the twins. The other one is on the floor crying.)
Monica was screaming to Chandler in the basement,
"Honey, Jack needs his diaper changed!"
"Are you sure?" Chandler replied.
"No," She said, "There is just a terrible odor coming from his ass!"
"No, I mean how do you know it's Jack?" Chandler called back.
"It IS Jack!" Monica practically bellowed, "What does it matter anyway?"
"I want to know whether or not to bring a wet wipe!" Chandler replied.
"WHY WOULD YOU NEED A WET WIPE?" Monica screamed, making the twins cry more.
"Do I really have to explain?" Chandler said calmly.
"Oh," Monica said, "Look, I don't care! Bring one!"
"All right," Chandler responded.
Title Song
(Back in the house)
Chandler is in his work suit. The twins are finally asleep.
"What are you doing?" Monica asked.
"I'm getting ready to go to work," Chandler replied," That's kind of how we're going to pay for diapers, food, oh, and HAND SOAP!" With this colossal scream, he woke up the twins.
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The twins cried.
"You know," Chandler said, "I'm going to go now."
"Oh, no you're not," Monica blocked the door, "You woke them up, you get them back to sleep. I'm going to take a nap." These words had a deep impact on Chandler. If he was late for work, he wouldn't get the WENUS (Weekly estimated net usage statistics, for those of you who missed The One with Two Parts) done on time!
(Now we cut to Joey's apartment)
The chick and duck were pecking and biting each other in their box. Joey went in to see what all the quacks and chirps were about.
"HEY," he said to them, "Don't do that!" He picked up the chick. After he got a hold of him, the chick pecked his finger.
"Ouch!" Joey yelped, he put the chick back in the box, where the two continued to peck and bite each other. Joey looked like he was going to have an embolism. He just paused watching the chick and duck kill each other. He immediately called Chandler up.
(Chandler and Monica's House)
Chandler looked like he was about to die. The twins were, once again, asleep. He was just about to leave when the phone rang and woke Erica up. She started crying, waking Jack up as well. Chandler answered the phone.
"Hello?" He said pretty much unconscious.
"Hey, It's Joey," He said.
"DAMN IT, JOEY!" He screamed, "You called and woke up the twins, AGAIN!"
"Yeah," Joey replied calmly, "Did the chick and duck ever fight?"
"Yes," He replied, "Why?"
"They're fighting," Joey said, "What do I do?"
"Put them in separate boxes," Chandler said through gritted teeth. They said "Bye" and hung up. Chandler glumly sat in his chair, waiting for the twins to fall asleep.
(Back at Joey's place)
Joey was running through his apartment looking for a new box. He finally just put the duck in the sink. After a long while, he found another box. He tried to pick the duck up, but he wouldn't budge. He then noticed that the ducks foot was stuck in the drain.
"Oh My God!" Joey screamed, "What happened?"
"Quack!" The duck quacked.
"Really? How did it happen?"
"QUACK!" the duck quacked again.
"No way!" Joey replied, obviously interested in the conversation. The duck continued to quack indistinctively.
"Well," Joey said, "How can we get you out?"
"Quack," the duck said.
"Good idea," Joey said, "We'll use butter!" Joey ran around looking for butter. He couldn't find any, so he went across the hall. He knocked on the door.
"Hey Mon," He said, "Can I borrow some butter?" A French girl opened the door.
Voulez vous couchez avec moi? She said. (There are no quotes here because something happened with them)
"I'd love too, but can I borrow some," He was quickly interrupted,
"Parlez Vous Français?"
"Yes," Joey said impatiently, "Can I borrow some butter?"
"C'est Moi elle garcons, Voila?" The French lady said.
"Um," Joey thought. "Parlez Vous English?"
"Yes I do," The French lady said.
"How you doin'?" Joey asked in his "Voice". The girl smiled.
"I'm Nannette," She said.
"I'm Joey."
"Oh," Nannette said, "You wanted butter." She went back into Monica's old apartment. She came back with a stick of butter.
"Thanks," Joey said, "Hey, Do you want to come over later?"
"Sure," Nannette said, "What time?"
"How about 8:00 tonight?"
"Great, I'll see you then," She said. Joey went back to the apartment to unstuck Duck Jr.
"Okay, buddy," Joey said as he applied butter to Duck Junior's foot, he slid right out.
(Monica and Chandlers House)
The twins were asleep. Chandler went to wake Monica up.
"Honey," He said, "I'm going to work."
"Oh," She said still half asleep, "I'll watch the twins, you go to work." Chandler said nothing and ran out the door.
(Chandler's office)
Mr. Douglas walked in with a huge stack of papers
"Here's the WENUS," he said, "Get it to me by 5:00." Chandler checked his watch, it was 3:00.
"Plenty of time," he said to himself.
(Back at the house)
Monica was sleeping next to the twins crib. The twins started crying.
"Oh, God!" She said, "Why can't you guys sleep?" They continued to cry. Glumly, she grabbed the twins and began to nurse them. They stopped crying. Monica started to dose off again.
(Phoebe's place)
Phoebe and Mike were "in the moment".
"Hey Phoebe," Mike said, "Were you serious about having a bunch of kids?"
"Of course!" Phoebe replied enthusiastically.
"When should we start trying?" He asked. Phoebe started thinking and counting on her fingers.
"We could do it now," She said.
"I thought we were," He said.
"We will be as soon as you get that condom off!" She exclaimed.
(Ross's apartment)
Ross and Rachel were also "in the moment".
"Hey," Rachel said, "Do you think we should give Emma a sibling?" Ross looked like he was going to blow.
"First marriage," He said, "Then more kids." Emma was asleep.
"She's probably getting hungry," Rachel said.
"Yeah," he said.
Chandler's Office
Chandler went back to Mr. Douglas's office.
"Here's the WENUS," he said. As he said this, Mr. D, checked his watch,
"You're 5 seconds late," He said. Chandler had the most clueless look on his face.
Names
"Seriously, you c-can't b-b-base that off 5 seconds!" Chandler stuttered.
"I know, I'm just screwing with you," He replied with the funniest look possible on the planet.