Hello again my lovely Dungeony chums, and welcome to this, the third leaf of The Rainy Sunday D&D Songbook.
You all know full well what tune this goes to, and who sings it!
And, look! A reprieve of the Flash Gordon insult. Hoo-whee!
Hope you enjoy. Scribbles.
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REALMIC RHAPSODY
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Is this the real life? Is this reality?
Caught in the nightmare of some warped Tolkein fantasy.
Down to my last of food, cash and dignity -
I'm just an Earth boy, I need some sympathy
Cos my patience ran very low
Over seven months ago.
I'm a reasonable person,
But nobody's list'ning to me.
To me...
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Brother! I could kill these guys!
How can they all face these trials with such stupid chirpy smiles?
Lead by the Boy Scout from Hell
With some weird Flash Gordon haircut going on.
Brother! (oohh...) I'm too young to die,
Too young, important, too smart, too pretty, etcetera.
But we'll just carry on until all of us are wormfood.
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Too late to wish that I'd
Took a raincheck, stayed inside, and not gone on that dumb ride.
Guess I felt I had to go,
And 'Get Out There'... well I'm pretty 'Out There' now.
Brother! (oohh...) I know life's not fair
But since that day mine's been a Karmic car crash!
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instrumental bit
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I see a little sillhoetto of a man
Who is not short of nerve
Though he's only three feet tall
Talks to us in nonsense, then he promptly disappears.
Dungeon Master! (Dungeon Master!)
Dungeon Master! (Dungeon Master!)
Dungeon Master, where'dya go?
(Where did he go-oh-oh-oh?)
I'm just an Earth boy, nobody loves me.
(He's just an 80's boy, from another Century,
Missing his comics and his Bowie LPs!)
If I save elves and gnomes, will you let me go?
(Face facts, kid... No! He will not let you go!)
Let me go!
(Save your breath... He will not let you go!)
Let me go!
(Stop asking... He will not let you go!)
Let me go!
(Will not let you go!)
Let me go!
(Will not let you, never let you go-oh-oh-oh,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!)
Oh Dungeon Master, Dungeon Master, Dungeon Master let me go!
That Horn Head Jerk's got some trouble set aside for me, for me, for meeeeee!
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Much headbanging
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So you think this might alter the way I behave?
That this Odessy'd make me all noble and brave?
Oh, baby! Don't you think that you've maybe
Picked the wrong guy? Cos God knows I've tried and I can't change.
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More headbanging
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(Oohh-ooh-ooh-ooh, oh yeah, oh yeah)
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soulful guitar riff
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Not as if they listen, not as if they see.
I suppose Shit Happens.
But why'ds it keep on happening to me?